Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
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Anonymous
My friend picked a venue (historic plantation…saw that on another poster’s list of no-nos) where outdoor was the only option. There was a tent, but it poured all day and the ground was totally saturated. The dance floor got muddy and everyone was slipping. I was young and hardly noticed—took my shoes off, ruined the hem of my long bridesmaid dress, and had a blast. But if I had to attend a wedding like that now, I’d totally judge! |
Anonymous
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Destination weddings that are impossible to get to — think on a Wednesday, at a remote mountain resort that is a) not a direct flight from where most of your guests live and b) then a 3-hour drive from the airport.
I understand some couples do this intentionally to cut down on the headcount. In the case of the example above though, it was just a couple who had no grasp on reality and how it would impact their guests. I had just started working and couldn’t take off, or afford that kind of travel. 90% of the couples’ friends didn’t attend, for similar reasons. They were disappointed, but I’m not sure how they didn’t think it through! |
Anonymous
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I’ve been to a few doozies. One was not only potluck but also had slots people were supposed to sign up for to help set up, help clean up, etc before and after the party. It was not a small backyard affair limited by budget and preferring a very casual vibe- which I would have been fine with actually. Treating it like a normal family BBQ and of course I’d bring a side dish and then help take out the trash. But this was at a large event hall, there were like 300 people, and the bride wore like 4 different dresses and had a professional band (you’d recognize the name) play the reception. Apparently that ate their budget…
Another one ticked a few boxes! Was held on a “historic plantation”, and there wasn’t enough seating for everyone. We were told to get our plates from the buffet and mingle. I ate on a bench alone with a plate on the lap of my formal dress. There was also only alcoholic drinks offered to the bridal party! There was a separate private area of the plantation just for wedding party and there were bottles of wine, beer, and a cocktail mixing station. I know this because eventually I just went in and made myself a cocktail to make myself feel better about the stains all over my dress from having my dinner plate rest on it. |
Anonymous
Yes, in my culture, we only give cash for weddings, nothing else. Some people, outside of our culture, do not understand this. You can stop preaching to the choir now. PP here. |
Anonymous
| I had a no kid wedding in 1997 and still feel bad about it. It was a nighttime dressy wedding, but only my friends from college had kids (not DH) so I wound up with all of my friends going back and forth to their hotel room because they didn't want to use the babysitters we'd arranged for, then later when I had kids and saw how hard it was to manage babysitting out of town I felt bad everytime |
Anonymous
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I happily had a no kids wedding in 2010. No regrets.
The worst is no plus 1 and destination weddings. Also multiple showers and distance bachelorette weekend. Brides micromanaging bridesmaids. |
Anonymous
| Our worst was a destination wedding that didn’t have real food. They were vegan and had appetizers only like crackers, olives and roasted red peppers. No alcohol either. There are plenty of meals that can be served if you want to have a vegan wedding. Feed your guests. |
Anonymous
Don’t feel bad. They could have had relatives watch their kids at home or they could have not come. I never brought mine when they were young to weddings, even when they were invited or if sitters were provided. We wanted to go and enjoy ourselves! If relatives couldn’t watch the kids we declined. |
Anonymous
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From worst:
No +1 weddings -This is the only one that routinely bothers me. Both my sister and a close cousin are “single”, which is to say unmarried, and this happens to them all.the.time. They’re in their 40s, not early 20s. If it’s a close friend or close relative they’ll still attend, but it bothers both of them and I don’t blame them. Destination weddings -It really depends. If the couple fully understands and expects that some people will not be able attend because of cost/time/childcare/eldercare constraints, then fine - have your wedding where it makes you happy! I’ve been invited to a few though where the couple expected me (and many others) to attend, despite the cost and other factors. One I attended, at a time when I couldn’t easily afford it, and I got grief from extended family for not also bringing my son. The other would have cost me upwards of $3K and I sent my regrets. Dry weddings -I like having drinks at social events. And I prefer to offer them to my guests when I host an event. But if a couple has religious or personal reasons for wanting their wedding to be dry, no big deal. No open bar weddings -No problem. I think it’s nice to offer drink service at some point (e.g. during a cocktail hour, and wine at dinner), but if a couple couldn’t afford (or even didn’t want to spend the money on!) an open bar all night, that’s fine! No-kids weddings -Fine by me. I have a child, but it’s nice to have a night off! Weddings of couples who ask for cash -Fine by me. I’d rather give a couple what they really want or could use! |
Anonymous
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How about this, which isn't on the original list on the thread? Wedding party members who behave horribly during the reception. ' I'm fine with no-kids weddings, with-kids weddings, destination weddings (which I just wouldn't attend), dry or wet weddings, etc. But the worst offense I ever saw was at a wedding where a couple of bridesmaids and groomsmen got involved in altercations. A bridesmaid actually slapped another bridesmaid (no idea why, I didn't know them and it was one of those moments where you're in a large room, noshing on appetizers, and suddenly everyone turns around because you hear a fight starting). A couple of groomsment got involved and started shoving each other around. We left immediately. This was a wedding where we realized we'd been invited solely to pad out the groom's "side"; he was a work acquaintance of my DH's, not even a friend really, so the invitation puzzled us but we were free and DH is a softie who liked the guy and wanted to be nice and attend. When we got there it was so clearly a pitiful case of the groom having few family or friends to attend, while the bride's side was stuffed with everyone she ever knew. (Who still does "bride's side and groom's side" any more?! They did.) It was sad, actually. And the super elegant reception quickly devolved into a lot of drunk 20-somethings and this physical fight. Awful. Glad we didn't actually know them. |
Anonymous
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Since we're sharing wedding horror stories -- Mine was the wedding of a friend of my wife's. She booked hall and catered the dinner, but neglected to hire servers. The food was plated and piling up on a shelf under heat lamps when the bride ran over and grabbed DW and a few other female friends, screaming "you need to help serve dinner!"
Meanwhile, all the oldest guests had been seated at a table in front of audio speakers that were about 10 feet high, blasting hip hop music. Fortunately, there was an open bar. Fun wedding! |
Anonymous
| How about my family members wedding where they required a deposit to hold your seat only refundable if you actually showed up the wedding? I was shocked! |
Anonymous
Incredibly, profoundly tacky. Wow. |
Anonymous
Did they actually refund it? Or "suggest" you let the bride and groom keep it with your best wishes? |
Anonymous
Horrible. I would not attend. Worst I've seen was a summer wedding in the DC area where a bunch of doves were supposed to be released from a suspended tent thingy as the bride and groom entered the reception venue. Heat + delays in getting to the venue meant that 20 dead birds dropped down on them. |