Advice needed: Sister-in-law’s touring dozens of no-name colleges with student-athlete daughter

[Anonymous]

This is not your problem. I don't know why you think YOU need advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

If you are so knowledgeable about this sport and about her ability level, then you should know that many kids play for D3 schools through great financial packages. And have great experiences at those schools. I know a few myself. Clearly, you have no idea what you are speaking of. Don't embarrass yourself by bringing up this nonsense to your SIL.

Why are you using the strange phrasing “great financial packages”? You know there are no sports scholarships at d3. And you know there is no free lunch. They dupe these student-athlete parents into attending with fake scholarship discounts and end up costing gullible middle class families a boatload of money and loans. And most kids quit the sport. And often the kids transfer out. It’s setting a middle class kid up for disaster to go to some random school solely to continue a sport. There are far more resources for such a student at a selective state university.

Hahahahaha, what? DH had a full ride athletic scholarship at a D3. He turned it down for a full D1 package only because the D1 school was closer to his very ill mother. Do you know anything?

There is no such thing as an athletic scholarship at D3. Maybe your husband was low income and he’s confusing means-based aid with “athletic scholarship.” Sounds like it was decades ago and he was a mere teenager, right.

It's amazing how you can make "low-income" sound demeaning even with regards to a man who got into a D1 school.

Got into a D1 school? There are D1 schools who will take anyone with a pulse

Yeah, because I'm not telling you which one he chose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

If you are so knowledgeable about this sport and about her ability level, then you should know that many kids play for D3 schools through great financial packages. And have great experiences at those schools. I know a few myself. Clearly, you have no idea what you are speaking of. Don't embarrass yourself by bringing up this nonsense to your SIL.

Why are you using the strange phrasing “great financial packages”? You know there are no sports scholarships at d3. And you know there is no free lunch. They dupe these student-athlete parents into attending with fake scholarship discounts and end up costing gullible middle class families a boatload of money and loans. And most kids quit the sport. And often the kids transfer out. It’s setting a middle class kid up for disaster to go to some random school solely to continue a sport. There are far more resources for such a student at a selective state university.

Hahahahaha, what? DH had a full ride athletic scholarship at a D3. He turned it down for a full D1 package only because the D1 school was closer to his very ill mother. Do you know anything?

There is no such thing as an athletic scholarship at D3. Maybe your husband was low income and he’s confusing means-based aid with “athletic scholarship.” Sounds like it was decades ago and he was a mere teenager, right.

Not the PP. My kid was recruited by several D3 schools. We did not apply for financial aid. When the admissions offers came, DC got extremely large merit aid packages from some of them. The offers were large enough that they would have been cheaper than in-state. This was true of all the top-pick athletes on the team — the kids told DC about their various packages during the recruit weekends.

It’s actually better than the D1 scholarship offers because it’s not dependent on remaining on the team.

Different poster here. Great for you and great for your kid, but doesn’t change the fact that Division III does not offer athletic scholarships.

The point is that they effectively do offer athletic scholarships, just not official ones. They don’t call them athletic scholarships, but when top recruits get massive merit aid packages, the practical difference between an official athletic scholarship and merit aid is minimal.

The term “athletic scholarship” is colloquially often used more broadly than the D1, full letter of intent context. People who are using the official definition can get worked up by people using the colloquial terminology. However, that doesn’t change the fact that recruited athletes at D3s are often offered substantial merit aid that they often would not have gotten absent sports.

[Anonymous]

Must be "Arlington Mom..."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

If you are so knowledgeable about this sport and about her ability level, then you should know that many kids play for D3 schools through great financial packages. And have great experiences at those schools. I know a few myself. Clearly, you have no idea what you are speaking of. Don't embarrass yourself by bringing up this nonsense to your SIL.

Why are you using the strange phrasing “great financial packages”? You know there are no sports scholarships at d3. And you know there is no free lunch. They dupe these student-athlete parents into attending with fake scholarship discounts and end up costing gullible middle class families a boatload of money and loans. And most kids quit the sport. And often the kids transfer out. It’s setting a middle class kid up for disaster to go to some random school solely to continue a sport. There are far more resources for such a student at a selective state university.

Hahahahaha, what? DH had a full ride athletic scholarship at a D3. He turned it down for a full D1 package only because the D1 school was closer to his very ill mother. Do you know anything?

There is no such thing as an athletic scholarship at D3. Maybe your husband was low income and he’s confusing means-based aid with “athletic scholarship.” Sounds like it was decades ago and he was a mere teenager, right.

It's amazing how you can make "low-income" sound demeaning even with regards to a man who got into a D1 school.

It’s amazing how student-athletes and their parents can continue to lie. It’s fascinating how every mediocre student-athlete at every podunk college got practically a “full ride” athletic scholarship, even at D3 schools which literally do not and can not give athletic scholarships!

How is this possible? Because these parents can’t stop lying. Nobody can just admit they or their kid is just good not great at the sport and they paid big bucks (or went into debt) to keep playing a sport at the next level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

If you are so knowledgeable about this sport and about her ability level, then you should know that many kids play for D3 schools through great financial packages. And have great experiences at those schools. I know a few myself. Clearly, you have no idea what you are speaking of. Don't embarrass yourself by bringing up this nonsense to your SIL.

Why are you using the strange phrasing “great financial packages”? You know there are no sports scholarships at d3. And you know there is no free lunch. They dupe these student-athlete parents into attending with fake scholarship discounts and end up costing gullible middle class families a boatload of money and loans. And most kids quit the sport. And often the kids transfer out. It’s setting a middle class kid up for disaster to go to some random school solely to continue a sport. There are far more resources for such a student at a selective state university.

Hahahahaha, what? DH had a full ride athletic scholarship at a D3. He turned it down for a full D1 package only because the D1 school was closer to his very ill mother. Do you know anything?

There is no such thing as an athletic scholarship at D3. Maybe your husband was low income and he’s confusing means-based aid with “athletic scholarship.” Sounds like it was decades ago and he was a mere teenager, right.

It's amazing how you can make "low-income" sound demeaning even with regards to a man who got into a D1 school.

It’s amazing how student-athletes and their parents can continue to lie. It’s fascinating how every mediocre student-athlete at every podunk college got practically a “full ride” athletic scholarship, even at D3 schools which literally do not and can not give athletic scholarships!

How is this possible? Because these parents can’t stop lying. Nobody can just admit they or their kid is just good not great at the sport and they paid big bucks (or went into debt) to keep playing a sport at the next level.

DP. You sound a bit unhinged with all of your ranting, PP. You clearly have an axe to grind about "mediocre" student-athletes. Besides, who the hell cares what decisions other people make?? Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

If you are so knowledgeable about this sport and about her ability level, then you should know that many kids play for D3 schools through great financial packages. And have great experiences at those schools. I know a few myself. Clearly, you have no idea what you are speaking of. Don't embarrass yourself by bringing up this nonsense to your SIL.

Why are you using the strange phrasing “great financial packages”? You know there are no sports scholarships at d3. And you know there is no free lunch. They dupe these student-athlete parents into attending with fake scholarship discounts and end up costing gullible middle class families a boatload of money and loans. And most kids quit the sport. And often the kids transfer out. It’s setting a middle class kid up for disaster to go to some random school solely to continue a sport. There are far more resources for such a student at a selective state university.

Hahahahaha, what? DH had a full ride athletic scholarship at a D3. He turned it down for a full D1 package only because the D1 school was closer to his very ill mother. Do you know anything?

There is no such thing as an athletic scholarship at D3. Maybe your husband was low income and he’s confusing means-based aid with “athletic scholarship.” Sounds like it was decades ago and he was a mere teenager, right.

It's amazing how you can make "low-income" sound demeaning even with regards to a man who got into a D1 school.

It’s amazing how student-athletes and their parents can continue to lie. It’s fascinating how every mediocre student-athlete at every podunk college got practically a “full ride” athletic scholarship, even at D3 schools which literally do not and can not give athletic scholarships!

How is this possible? Because these parents can’t stop lying. Nobody can just admit they or their kid is just good not great at the sport and they paid big bucks (or went into debt) to keep playing a sport at the next level.

Okay, this is definitely the crazed anti-athlete troll. I actually like it when she creates her own insane troll threads because all her misinformation is centered in one thread and easily corrected. She just comes across as dumb.

[Anonymous]

Mind your business, psycho! Get a hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You actually don’t need any advice. Not your kid, not your finances. Stay out of it.

It’s our family. And my husband and I have degrees from four universities and far more resources and even we wouldn’t do something so financially reckless. It feels like they are being swindled and are too caught up in making sure she plays a sport in college. I don’t want to see this wreck their finances, their marriage, put my niece in a mountain of debt, and make it so my niece ends up transferring colleges because she only went to the obscure private for a sport.

Since you’re so close to this family talk to your niece at your regular get together!

It’s challenging to talk to a niece or the parents when the parents’ egos seem so caught up in making sure she plays in college, any college. They’re being totally irrational. I think it’s a terrible decision to go to an obscure private college in the middle of nowhere when she could likely get into UVA. UVA will have the most recourses, the best departments, and best students. And again they have no money. Please don’t lie to me that some obscure d3 college is going to let her go there for free. Ain’t happening.

1) You have no idea if she is likely to get into UVA, especially if you have not recently been involved in college admissions.
2) Yes, UVA can be a great deal if you have a high level of 'need" as determined by FAFSA. If it's just that they are middle class and haven't saved for college, they out-of-pocket for UVA is likely to be quite high. And, yes, D3 schools may be less. Not zero but my DD's LAC (that I'm sure you'd find unacceptable) costs us $28k after merit aid only

She has a great shot at getting into UVA. Not even she will apply because the parents are foolishly obsessed with playing the sport in college. And the only colleges she can play at are obscure no-name colleges which basically let everyone play as long as you write checks or take out loans to go there.

How do you know that your niece doesn’t actually want to continue playing her sport in college? How do you know she would even want to go to UVA? I know this is shocking to you, but large flagship public universities, even those as highly regarded as UVA, are not a good fit for every kid who can get in. Perhaps your niece has expressed a desire to attend a small private school and playing her sport is the only way she will get the financial package needed to attend one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

If you are so knowledgeable about this sport and about her ability level, then you should know that many kids play for D3 schools through great financial packages. And have great experiences at those schools. I know a few myself. Clearly, you have no idea what you are speaking of. Don't embarrass yourself by bringing up this nonsense to your SIL.

Why are you using the strange phrasing “great financial packages”? You know there are no sports scholarships at d3. And you know there is no free lunch. They dupe these student-athlete parents into attending with fake scholarship discounts and end up costing gullible middle class families a boatload of money and loans. And most kids quit the sport. And often the kids transfer out. It’s setting a middle class kid up for disaster to go to some random school solely to continue a sport. There are far more resources for such a student at a selective state university.

Hahahahaha, what? DH had a full ride athletic scholarship at a D3. He turned it down for a full D1 package only because the D1 school was closer to his very ill mother. Do you know anything?

There is no such thing as an athletic scholarship at D3. Maybe your husband was low income and he’s confusing means-based aid with “athletic scholarship.” Sounds like it was decades ago and he was a mere teenager, right.

It's amazing how you can make "low-income" sound demeaning even with regards to a man who got into a D1 school.

It’s amazing how student-athletes and their parents can continue to lie. It’s fascinating how every mediocre student-athlete at every podunk college got practically a “full ride” athletic scholarship, even at D3 schools which literally do not and can not give athletic scholarships!

How is this possible? Because these parents can’t stop lying. Nobody can just admit they or their kid is just good not great at the sport and they paid big bucks (or went into debt) to keep playing a sport at the next level.

Amazing how obtuse OP is being. People are telling you their D3 athletes got "merit awards" at schools where they also played their sport. And being able to play was likely a contributing factor to the "merit award" (not specifically an "athletic scholarship"). My kid doesn't even play a sport but got a large (more than 50%) merit award from her LAC + added money to play her instrument in the symphony.

I do agree that going into debt or paying full price for a mid-range LAC just to keep playing a sport is a dumb idea. But the kids who are more likely to do that are actually the ones going to the highly selective LACs. They don't give merit money, only need-based and that often includes loans. A student who you think is UVA competitive will get large merit awards (for academics mainly but athletics may sweeten the pot) at most mid-range LACs. If they are truly poor, yes, UVA will be cheaper since it meets 100% of "need" but if they are just DC middle class and didn't bother to save for college, it would not be surprising to find these LACs cost less for the right student.

But I can tell that you actually don't care about learning anything about the current dynamics of undergraduate pricing.

Quibbling about pricing aside, the main concern I'd have is that they are equally considering the quality of the nursing program w/ the sports. Not many LACs actually have nursing? I know my DD's LAC has a "pre-nursing" program but that means you're doing your 4-years there and then need to go on to an additional program which would not be optimal vs a direct entry BSN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

If you are so knowledgeable about this sport and about her ability level, then you should know that many kids play for D3 schools through great financial packages. And have great experiences at those schools. I know a few myself. Clearly, you have no idea what you are speaking of. Don't embarrass yourself by bringing up this nonsense to your SIL.

Why are you using the strange phrasing “great financial packages”? You know there are no sports scholarships at d3. And you know there is no free lunch. They dupe these student-athlete parents into attending with fake scholarship discounts and end up costing gullible middle class families a boatload of money and loans. And most kids quit the sport. And often the kids transfer out. It’s setting a middle class kid up for disaster to go to some random school solely to continue a sport. There are far more resources for such a student at a selective state university.

Hahahahaha, what? DH had a full ride athletic scholarship at a D3. He turned it down for a full D1 package only because the D1 school was closer to his very ill mother. Do you know anything?

There is no such thing as an athletic scholarship at D3. Maybe your husband was low income and he’s confusing means-based aid with “athletic scholarship.” Sounds like it was decades ago and he was a mere teenager, right.

It's amazing how you can make "low-income" sound demeaning even with regards to a man who got into a D1 school.

It’s amazing how student-athletes and their parents can continue to lie. It’s fascinating how every mediocre student-athlete at every podunk college got practically a “full ride” athletic scholarship, even at D3 schools which literally do not and can not give athletic scholarships!

How is this possible? Because these parents can’t stop lying. Nobody can just admit they or their kid is just good not great at the sport and they paid big bucks (or went into debt) to keep playing a sport at the next level.

I mean this kindly, but do you have some sort of mental issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

My nephew was a good but not great football player in HS. Wanted to play in college so went to DII school on a partial scholarship. Got his masters degree in engineering from there. The scholarship brought the cost down close to what an in state public would cost.

I was against this decision, but it was 100% due to potential head injuries playing football vs. any financial worries, even though they weren’t rolling in money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

My nephew was a good but not great football player in HS. Wanted to play in college so went to DII school on a partial scholarship. Got his masters degree in engineering from there. The scholarship brought the cost down close to what an in state public would cost.

I was against this decision, but it was 100% due to potential head injuries playing football vs. any financial worries, even though they weren’t rolling in money.

It's really sad when your choices are no college or a good chance at a TBI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

My nephew was a good but not great football player in HS. Wanted to play in college so went to DII school on a partial scholarship. Got his masters degree in engineering from there. The scholarship brought the cost down close to what an in state public would cost.

I was against this decision, but it was 100% due to potential head injuries playing football vs. any financial worries, even though they weren’t rolling in money.

It's really sad when your choices are no college or a good chance at a TBI.

Did you read the post? The kid could have gone instate for cheaper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

My nephew was a good but not great football player in HS. Wanted to play in college so went to DII school on a partial scholarship. Got his masters degree in engineering from there. The scholarship brought the cost down close to what an in state public would cost.

I was against this decision, but it was 100% due to potential head injuries playing football vs. any financial worries, even though they weren’t rolling in money.

It's really sad when your choices are no college or a good chance at a TBI.

Did you read the post? The kid could have gone instate for cheaper

Well, he got to play a sport he liked and got a masters in engineering. He’s probably doing okay.