Advice needed: Sister-in-law’s touring dozens of no-name colleges with student-athlete daughter

[Anonymous]

So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

[Anonymous]

OP here. My student-athlete niece wants to become a nurse. Isn’t the best place to do that if you’re middle class the best public university you can get into, not a random obscure private college? Public universities also have thriving intramural and club teams, right?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes those private colleges can give grants to bring the COA down to less than a public school. Also, having a sport to ease your transition to college is great even if you won’t play all four years.

I chose my college based on their dance program even though I knew I wasn’t going to be a dancer. It was how I wanted to spend my free time and make my friends - dance kept me happy and motivated. I am a lawyer now and loved my undergrad experience. I don’t think this will necessarily be as terrible as you fear.

[Anonymous]

This is ABSOLUTELY none of your business. But sure insert your opinions. I’m sure that will do wonders for the family relationship. Butt the F out.

[Anonymous]

You actually don’t need any advice. Not your kid, not your finances. Stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

If they are talking to about it and/or you have experience, you can ask a few gentle questions. "Have you looked at X State? When we were looking at schools/I heard it's a good value." Or if you talk with your niece and she says that her parents are pushing her to do something or go someplace she doesn't want to, then speak up. "I want to quit soccer but my parents would be so disappointed." But generally, unless this is going to affect you directly, MYOB.

[Anonymous]

First of all, this is none of your business. ANd I don't say that often here.

Second of all, you clearly know nothing about the recruiting process. So let me enlighten you a bit. You might not think your niece is good at her sport, but that does not mean that these "no name" college coaches agree. (ALso, you're a snobby b1tch, but that's another matter). Many of the D3 schools give very good financial aid and merit aid, which your niece might qualify for.

Last, but not least, a lot of your idea of "no name" colleges are not that, and have good nursing programs.

So basically, butt out and educate yourself.

[Anonymous]

butt out you ass

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it. If she’s so mediocre at her sport why is she being considered for teams?

[Anonymous]

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision?

No, there is not. Stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is ABSOLUTELY none of your business. But sure insert your opinions. I’m sure that will do wonders for the family relationship. Butt the F out.

Let me add that your idea of "no-name" means nothing. Perhaps you haven't heard of Colby? Bates? Swarthmore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

If you’re so close with your niece to have these insights, you should take her to lunch to encourage her to speak up for herself.

If you have, in reality, failed to cultivate a close relationship with your niece and are just wildly speculating, you’re just a hater.

[Anonymous]

NP. My athlete child was offered an almost complete scholarship in a similar situation. DC didn’t end up taking it for other reasons but the college that offered was our cheapest option, much cheaper than in-state tuition. The package was enormous.

[Anonymous]

Wow. None of this is your business. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my niece can continue to play her sport in college. The issue is two-fold. Her daughter is simply good not great at her sport (which her parents refuse to accept) and the family is only middle class. They have no college savings, so debt will fuel this. Is it sports obsessed parents’ egos that refuse to let it go? They can’t admit ten years of sports efforts simply conclude in 12th grade?

Is there any way to convince them they’re about to make a terrible financial decision? The family is going to end up with a lot of debt, their daughter will likely quit the sport once she can do what she wants, and likely, the daughter hates the no-name private college where she knows nobody. Isn’t that how this usually plays out?

If you’re so close with your niece to have these insights, you should take her to lunch to encourage her to speak up for herself.

If you have, in reality, failed to cultivate a close relationship with your niece and are just wildly speculating, you’re just a hater.

The clue that this is not the case (being close to the niece) is the phrase "isn't that how this usually plays out".

No, you dimwit, it isn't. Ask me how I know.