DS friend lives in dangerous area wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you really live in a bubble, and yet think you are being good people by ignoring the fact that other people do have to live in high crime areas, and insulting others who have legitimate concerns about crime.

OP, your concern is definitely warranted. I grew up in a high crime neighborhood immigrant neighborhood. Gangs were present. We did have to be careful. My mom would have never let me walk home from school alone or play outside without supervision. I agree with others that there is no need to discuss it. Just keep declining and keep inviting your child's friend over to your house or other outings.

Op has not said where this family lived, just that the other mother invited her son.

I grew up the same as you in an area with high crime and gangs. It was safe to invite friends over, and we did. Most high crime areas are safe to outsiders because most crime is associative. The difference in opinion is not because I live in a bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.farandwide.com/s/most-dangerous-small-towns-us-8699063050f14053

Ocean City, MD is on this list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't send your over. Invite the kid (and parent(s)) over to you, or neutral ground, twice as often. Treat your guests well, make it worth their while to commute (great food, gear for their activities, etc)

I'm sure the kid and parent know they are poor and don't love being poor. Let them think you are a priss, but balance that against your generosity and hospitality.

Never criticize their neighborhood. They know their neighborhood better than you do.

And drive their kid home so it’s not always the other parents doing the driving.

That can be iffy too - driving in dangerous neighborhoods. Sorry, I wouldn't do it.

I had a really nice car a long time ago, and got lost in a dangerous neighborhood. So many people came out looking at my car while I was driving around trying to find my way. It was pretty scary.

Lol. Isn’t one of the reasons people buy “really nice cars” is because they want people to look at it?

Not for me. It was a fun car to drive, and my one splurge when I started making good money. I like driving fun cars.

Since then, I've been driving soccer mom cars. I'm not a showy person. I have no designer clothes or bags, and my one piece of nice jewelry is my engagement ring and sapphire earrings DH bought me after our DC was born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you really live in a bubble, and yet think you are being good people by ignoring the fact that other people do have to live in high crime areas, and insulting others who have legitimate concerns about crime.

OP, your concern is definitely warranted. I grew up in a high crime neighborhood immigrant neighborhood. Gangs were present. We did have to be careful. My mom would have never let me walk home from school alone or play outside without supervision. I agree with others that there is no need to discuss it. Just keep declining and keep inviting your child's friend over to your house or other outings.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.farandwide.com/s/most-dangerous-small-towns-us-8699063050f14053

Ocean City, MD is on this list.

I mean, who among us has not been caught in the crossfire of a gang fight on the mean streets of Ocean City, MD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.farandwide.com/s/most-dangerous-small-towns-us-8699063050f14053

Ocean City, MD is on this list.

Coastal towns are frequently on those list. The petty crime, stolen beach chair calls etc inflate the numbers. A town of 20k residents swells to 180,000 people in the summer. The crime rate is that of any other place with 180k people, but that number is attributed to the 20k per capita.

[Anonymous]

If the area is really bad, the people living their will know how bad it is. I never had this issue with my kids but I grew up in NYC and had friends and relatives that lived in rough areas.

Anyway, people would warn visitors, don't go down that block, go this way, etc. Or when I was a teenager myself, we'd travel in groups when visiting dangerous neighborhoods and try to make sure we knew someone from the neighborhood.

People living in the dangerous neighborhood would not blithely invite friends or family to a dangerous setting to risk being shot, killed, etc.

But unless your child's friend lives in the midst of an open-air drug market, most places are pretty safe most of the time. Maybe visit for brunch to be on the safe side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is truly in the most dangerous area in DC, I would still allow my child to go to their house, but under the condition that they stay inside. Even in areas with huge amount of gun violence, the risk of a home invasion is vanishingly small.

Yeah, sure you would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is truly in the most dangerous area in DC, I would still allow my child to go to their house, but under the condition that they stay inside. Even in areas with huge amount of gun violence, the risk of a home invasion is vanishingly small.

Yeah, sure you would.

+1 Brentwood is considered the most dangerous area in DC. Take a drive through there why don’t you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.farandwide.com/s/most-dangerous-small-towns-us-8699063050f14053

Ocean City, MD is on this list.

Coastal towns are frequently on those list. The petty crime, stolen beach chair calls etc inflate the numbers. A town of 20k residents swells to 180,000 people in the summer. The crime rate is that of any other place with 180k people, but that number is attributed to the 20k per capita.

Prob also date rape during beach week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the area is really bad, the people living their will know how bad it is. I never had this issue with my kids but I grew up in NYC and had friends and relatives that lived in rough areas.

Anyway, people would warn visitors, don't go down that block, go this way, etc. Or when I was a teenager myself, we'd travel in groups when visiting dangerous neighborhoods and try to make sure we knew someone from the neighborhood.

People living in the dangerous neighborhood would not blithely invite friends or family to a dangerous setting to risk being shot, killed, etc.

But unless your child's friend lives in the midst of an open-air drug market, most places are pretty safe most of the time. Maybe visit for brunch to be on the safe side.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God forbid we have any class mixing. If you hate poor people so much, send your kid to private school.

Yup. I can't take op seriously after her claim that they must be lying about your precious school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss the days when DCUM was for people in the DC area.

As someone who is in Los Angeles, I wish I had a DCUM-type site. Instead, I post here. And no, I don't want to start my own.

Regardless of where OP lives, this thread has traction. Stop gatekeeping DCUM.

[Anonymous]

I live in Deanwood (NE DC) and this happened to my kid. Friend told my kid that his mom was not comfortable with him hanging out at our house (I understood parents hesitation) and my kid found it distasteful and ended the friendship.
The person who was driving and saw so many ppl coming out to look at their car makes me laugh. As does the poster who was shaking in their car while cruising Anacostia. But, I get it. Some areas I have been uncomfortable traveling through without knowing someone in the area. But the reality is what a prior poster said, most crime is associative so me being an outsider immediately reduced my risk.
So much of this “caution” truly is racism whether you want to own it or not. We see you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I miss the days when DCUM was for people in the DC area.

As someone who is in Los Angeles, I wish I had a DCUM-type site. Instead, I post here. And no, I don't want to start my own.

Regardless of where OP lives, this thread has traction. Stop gatekeeping DCUM.

IKR? Disregard these small minded people who can't fathom the idea that, for instance, someone moved away from the DC area but kept visiting DCUM, like me. Or, like you, discovered DCUM possibly through a google search and liked it a lot. Trust me, Jeff welcomes your participation as do the majority of all the rest of us.