DS friend lives in dangerous area wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Without knowing the city, no one can know if you’re being ridiculous.

+1 but if the risk we’re talking about it is some nebulous fear of “home invasions” pretty hard to take this seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope to hold this is a troll. Please don’t feed it!

Ugh, I’m not a troll! Can you help or not?

Where is this super dangerous place? Sursum Corda in the 90s?

[Anonymous]

Just after leaving DC, we moved to a small southern city with a gang problem (thanks, military!) and yeah, there were neighborhoods I would have never let the kids visit. Those of you thinking OP is being weird need to get out of your bubble.

[Anonymous]

Just tell your son not to stand in front of windows and not to flash money, electronics or jewelry and he'll be fine. I live in a shitty area of my city and it's all I can afford (downsizing isn't possible - it's already tiny as hell). But it's clean and not cluttered and I have good snacks. DD has friends over all the time.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you're overreacting, OP. I would feel similar and would find ways to avoid it. My child's safety and well-being is my upmost priority. I'm sure you feel bad about it, but you'd feel worse if God forbid anything happen.

And all these posters saying they don't get it and that "no where in the DMV" is dangerous enough that they wouldn't drop their kid off there are totally bullshitting themselves. Anacostia? Bad areas of Baltimore? Deanwood where there is so much gang activity? Come on, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell your son not to stand in front of windows and not to flash money, electronics or jewelry and he'll be fine. I live in a shitty area of my city and it's all I can afford (downsizing isn't possible - it's already tiny as hell). But it's clean and not cluttered and I have good snacks. DD has friends over all the time.

of course, absolutely, just because you live in a low income area doesn't mean your place cannot be clean and tidy, and you have good snacks.

I grew up in tiny house, and it was always clean. But, I would also be concerned during pickup. I got lost in a dangerous neighborhood once; took the wrong freeway exit. I'm a fairly street savvy person having grown up in a blue collar area and went to a rough HS, but I was pretty nervous driving around there, especially at night.

[Anonymous]

I will be completely honest. I would not allow it. DC’s friend would be welcome to come to our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you're overreacting, OP. I would feel similar and would find ways to avoid it. My child's safety and well-being is my upmost priority. I'm sure you feel bad about it, but you'd feel worse if God forbid anything happen.

And all these posters saying they don't get it and that "no where in the DMV" is dangerous enough that they wouldn't drop their kid off there are totally bullshitting themselves. Anacostia? Bad areas of Baltimore? Deanwood where there is so much gang activity? Come on, people.

If it was a truly dangerous area, I agree. But there was a recent nearly identical thread where, when questioned what was so dangerous about the neighborhood, the OP could not point to any actual crime…she just didn’t want her kid going to her lower-income friend’s house.

[Anonymous]

Just continue doing what you’re doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell your son not to stand in front of windows and not to flash money, electronics or jewelry and he'll be fine. I live in a shitty area of my city and it's all I can afford (downsizing isn't possible - it's already tiny as hell). But it's clean and not cluttered and I have good snacks. DD has friends over all the time.

of course, absolutely, just because you live in a low income area doesn't mean your place cannot be clean and tidy, and you have good snacks.

I grew up in tiny house, and it was always clean. But, I would also be concerned during pickup. I got lost in a dangerous neighborhood once; took the wrong freeway exit. I'm a fairly street savvy person having grown up in a blue collar area and went to a rough HS, but I was pretty nervous driving around there, especially at night.

Okay. You were nervous, but nothing bad happened. Same with me in my shitty area - do I see people shooting up and occasionally have to step over homeless people? Sure. Is that dangerous in and of itself? No. I once accidentally walked between two gang rivals who had guns out. They both just indicated for me to pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell your son not to stand in front of windows and not to flash money, electronics or jewelry and he'll be fine. I live in a shitty area of my city and it's all I can afford (downsizing isn't possible - it's already tiny as hell). But it's clean and not cluttered and I have good snacks. DD has friends over all the time.

of course, absolutely, just because you live in a low income area doesn't mean your place cannot be clean and tidy, and you have good snacks.

I grew up in tiny house, and it was always clean. But, I would also be concerned during pickup. I got lost in a dangerous neighborhood once; took the wrong freeway exit. I'm a fairly street savvy person having grown up in a blue collar area and went to a rough HS, but I was pretty nervous driving around there, especially at night.

Okay. You were nervous, but nothing bad happened. Same with me in my shitty area - do I see people shooting up and occasionally have to step over homeless people? Sure. Is that dangerous in and of itself? No. I once accidentally walked between two gang rivals who had guns out. They both just indicated for me to pass.

but, high crime area means statistically you have a higher chance of something bad happening to you if you go to a neighborhood as an outsider.

The gangs let you pass, but they could have also easily shot you as collateral damage. There are plenty of stories of someone being shot because they got caught in between rival gangs.

[Anonymous]

If you decide not to let DS go there, I think you owe the other parent a conversation. It’s not like she doesn’t know her neighborhood is higher crime, and that way she won’t worry that you’re trying to discourage the friendship. Yes, it’s going to be an awkward conversation, but I think that’s a better option than just continuing to turn down invited and leaving her a bit uncertain why. And who knows, maybe she’ll be able to assuage your fears.

[Anonymous]

If it’s Camden NJ DO NOT LET HIM GO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you decide not to let DS go there, I think you owe the other parent a conversation. It’s not like she doesn’t know her neighborhood is higher crime, and that way she won’t worry that you’re trying to discourage the friendship. Yes, it’s going to be an awkward conversation, but I think that’s a better option than just continuing to turn down invited and leaving her a bit uncertain why. And who knows, maybe she’ll be able to assuage your fears.

This. It will be awkward but you owe her a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you decide not to let DS go there, I think you owe the other parent a conversation. It’s not like she doesn’t know her neighborhood is higher crime, and that way she won’t worry that you’re trying to discourage the friendship. Yes, it’s going to be an awkward conversation, but I think that’s a better option than just continuing to turn down invited and leaving her a bit uncertain why. And who knows, maybe she’ll be able to assuage your fears.

This. It will be awkward but you owe her a conversation.

OP here. What would this conversation even look like?