DS friend lives in dangerous area wwyd?

[Anonymous]

This past school year DS made a new friend. Towards the end of the year they hung out outside of school for the first time. The boy’s mom picked DS up from our house to take them on an outing and afterwards asked if DS could come over to their house to hang out for a bit and have dinner. I agreed and said I’d pick DS up later. When she texted me the address it was in a completely different city and in what I understand is a high-crime area, gun crime and home invasions, primarily. We found an excuse to pick up DS early and confirmed that the area was in fact where we thought it was. I assume this boy uses someone else’s address to attend our school, I’m not sure.

We’ve invited the boy to our house a couple times over the summer but have turned down any invites to HIS house and I feel horrible about it every time; I’m sure the mother knows why. But surely this will be an ongoing problem for this boy. I have no clue how to proceed with this friendship. If anyone has had a similar experience, how did you proceed?

[Anonymous]

I hope to hold this is a troll. Please don’t feed it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope to hold this is a troll. Please don’t feed it!

Ugh, I’m not a troll! Can you help or not?

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine any area in the DMV so dangerous that I wouldn't be comfortable with my child being at friend's house, supervised. Unless you're literally in a war zone, what exactly are you worried about? The chances of a stray bullet hitting your child the once a month they visit are vanishingly small, and assuming you are driving him and picking him up, his risk of being injured or killed in a car accident on the way to or from this house is significantly larger. The risk of there being a home invasion when your son is there is also vanishingly small.

It's not unreasonable to ask if there's a gun in the home (and that's not unreasonable to ask anyone who lives anywhere) because that would actually introduce some risk to your son. But that doesn't sound like your concern.

Bottom line, I think you're waaaaaay over reacting.

[Anonymous]

This is ridiculous and I hope at some level you know this, OP. I’m embarrassed for you.

[Anonymous]

If this is truly in the most dangerous area in DC, I would still allow my child to go to their house, but under the condition that they stay inside. Even in areas with huge amount of gun violence, the risk of a home invasion is vanishingly small.

[Anonymous]

Tell us the city. We will tell you if you are overreacting. I mean, if you are going to write something like Alexandria then yes it’s a big overreaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine any area in the DMV so dangerous that I wouldn't be comfortable with my child being at friend's house, supervised. Unless you're literally in a war zone, what exactly are you worried about? The chances of a stray bullet hitting your child the once a month they visit are vanishingly small, and assuming you are driving him and picking him up, his risk of being injured or killed in a car accident on the way to or from this house is significantly larger. The risk of there being a home invasion when your son is there is also vanishingly small.

It's not unreasonable to ask if there's a gun in the home (and that's not unreasonable to ask anyone who lives anywhere) because that would actually introduce some risk to your son. But that doesn't sound like your concern.

Bottom line, I think you're waaaaaay over reacting.

Ugh, I’m not DC local so I don’t know what to compare it to. It’s listed as one of the top 10 most violent small cities if that helps. I keep telling myself I’m being paranoid for no reason so I agree with you, but my intuition just spikes when I think of leaving him there. I can’t explain it.

[Anonymous]

Some of you really live in a bubble.

If it's like South Central LA, not too far from where I grew up, I would feel the same as OP.

I am sure how to handle it without offending the other family, but I would not want my kid there. It's not just about the kid being there (which is a concern) but about what happens when you drive there to pick him up.

I don't know, OP. No answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is truly in the most dangerous area in DC, I would still allow my child to go to their house, but under the condition that they stay inside. Even in areas with huge amount of gun violence, the risk of a home invasion is vanishingly small.

This.

[Anonymous]

How would you all respond if you found out that a friend's family had a gun in their house that was not secure?

It may not be the same thing, but assuming the area is indeed pretty dangerous, it's still concerning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine any area in the DMV so dangerous that I wouldn't be comfortable with my child being at friend's house, supervised. Unless you're literally in a war zone, what exactly are you worried about? The chances of a stray bullet hitting your child the once a month they visit are vanishingly small, and assuming you are driving him and picking him up, his risk of being injured or killed in a car accident on the way to or from this house is significantly larger. The risk of there being a home invasion when your son is there is also vanishingly small.

It's not unreasonable to ask if there's a gun in the home (and that's not unreasonable to ask anyone who lives anywhere) because that would actually introduce some risk to your son. But that doesn't sound like your concern.

Bottom line, I think you're waaaaaay over reacting.

Ugh, I’m not DC local so I don’t know what to compare it to. It’s listed as one of the top 10 most violent small cities if that helps. I keep telling myself I’m being paranoid for no reason so I agree with you, but my intuition just spikes when I think of leaving him there. I can’t explain it.

Ok, I just posted about Alexandria and take it back if you aren’t local. Keep turning down their offer to come over and offer alternative ways to get together. Don’t worry if they know why. I’m also from a different area and there are certain places where I grew up that would not be safe for my kids. Now I’m even thinking about certain areas of Baltimore. My kids would not be hanging out in those neighborhoods.

[Anonymous]

Without knowing the city, no one can know if you’re being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Without knowing the city, no one can know if you’re being ridiculous.

+1. Just name the city.

[Anonymous]

Capitol Hill?