DS friend lives in dangerous area wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in Deanwood (NE DC) and this happened to my kid. Friend told my kid that his mom was not comfortable with him hanging out at our house (I understood parents hesitation) and my kid found it distasteful and ended the friendship.
The person who was driving and saw so many ppl coming out to look at their car makes me laugh. As does the poster who was shaking in their car while cruising Anacostia. But, I get it. Some areas I have been uncomfortable traveling through without knowing someone in the area. But the reality is what a prior poster said, most crime is associative so me being an outsider immediately reduced my risk.
So much of this “caution” truly is racism whether you want to own it or not. We see you.

So you are racist as well?

[Anonymous]

Deanwood poster here. I realized my discomfort in certain areas is totally tied to race. Hate traveling through those pro-Trump neighborhoods with the oversized American flag flying from pick up trucks. I fear they are about to run me off the road and beat my family and I to death on the side of the road.
Yes. Terrified of those people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you really live in a bubble, and yet think you are being good people by ignoring the fact that other people do have to live in high crime areas, and insulting others who have legitimate concerns about crime.

OP, your concern is definitely warranted. I grew up in a high crime neighborhood immigrant neighborhood. Gangs were present. We did have to be careful. My mom would have never let me walk home from school alone or play outside without supervision. I agree with others that there is no need to discuss it. Just keep declining and keep inviting your child's friend over to your house or other outings.

+1

I can tell on this thread who lives in mostly or exclusively white SHF or expensive townhome neighborhoods and have never actually and will never encounter this situation.

I had to tell my kid that visiting her friend at her house was ok but of the myriad of cousins who lived with them or nearby wanted to go out to a certain neighborhood she was absolutely not to go and to just say she had to be back at home for something.

And for the OP, the location itself wasn’t what worried me as much as the people who were often at hanging out either at the apartment or in the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't send your over. Invite the kid (and parent(s)) over to you, or neutral ground, twice as often. Treat your guests well, make it worth their while to commute (great food, gear for their activities, etc)

I'm sure the kid and parent know they are poor and don't love being poor. Let them think you are a priss, but balance that against your generosity and hospitality.

Never criticize their neighborhood. They know their neighborhood better than you do.

And drive their kid home so it’s not always the other parents doing the driving.

That can be iffy too - driving in dangerous neighborhoods. Sorry, I wouldn't do it.

I had a really nice car a long time ago, and got lost in a dangerous neighborhood. So many people came out looking at my car while I was driving around trying to find my way. It was pretty scary.

Is this Chevy Chase? #WagonQueenFamilyTruckster #CanYouTellMeHowToGetBackOnTheExpressway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Deanwood poster here. I realized my discomfort in certain areas is totally tied to race. Hate traveling through those pro-Trump neighborhoods with the oversized American flag flying from pick up trucks. I fear they are about to run me off the road and beat my family and I to death on the side of the road.
Yes. Terrified of those people.

Racist. Lol

[Anonymous]

OP I don’t think you should feel bad. I would feel the same as you. I have family that chooses to live in dangerous areas with violent crime and car break ins, and I flat out do not visit them, and they know exactly why. I don’t even feel safe just driving to their part of town. I do not feel bad about this at all. They can visit me if they want to see us.

I do not take unnecessary risks with my life or my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell us the city. We will tell you if you are overreacting. I mean, if you are going to write something like Alexandria then yes it’s a big overreaction.

I keep myself and my family away from Alexandria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I don’t think you should feel bad. I would feel the same as you. I have family that chooses to live in dangerous areas with violent crime and car break ins, and I flat out do not visit them, and they know exactly why. I don’t even feel safe just driving to their part of town. I do not feel bad about this at all. They can visit me if they want to see us.

I do not take unnecessary risks with my life or my children.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, you do not have to reveal your reason for saying no.
You are are choosing to, and it's stirring the pot. Always does.