Staying Pretty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 53 and actually more streamlined in routine than my 20s.

I learned what works. Having olive skin and taking care of it from a young age helped dramatically. In my 20s I learned the healthier and smoother your skin the less make-up and crap you need. I’ve used retin-A since I was 20 and with hats to protect my skin since late 20s.

I have dark hair so I don’t try to be a blonde. The roots get professionally colored every 5-6 weeks (takes 1 hour). I get highlights twice a year. I have long thick hair she only need a haircut about every 5-6 months.

I am a former serious athlete abs have always worked out a minimum 1 hour day. Very easy to fit in n 24 hours. I get a pedicure every 3 weeks.

My 30-year old nephew’s wife tells anyone that will listen that I look “30 years old”.

I have muscle memory—little extra fat. I don’t diet but I moderate. I might have a big Ny strip steak, cocktails and wine on date night but eat less later in the week, etc. It is all very manageable.

One of the things my husband like about me when we met was my love of food and drink…I wasn’t a “salad only” girl. We are both healthy eaters and don’t look physically really any different than our 20s, we still beat 20-30 somethings in the gym/exercise class.

It’s tiresome to hear people talk about their routines and deprivations. Life is short- enjoy it. Have that slice of cake or glass of wine once in awhile!

Meat has issues, but fattening isn't one of them. You get fat from french fries and ice cream, not steak or even (bunless) burger patty

[Anonymous]

Maybe you are cycling through so many men because you are so high maintenance. Consider being fun. I don't live for men, but it seems to attract them more than crazy diets and non-stop beauty appointments.

[Anonymous]

OPA here. To answer some questions….I don’t really talk about my routines much on my own accord. It comes up in dating because often when men like me they want a lot of my time. I can’t regularly give them the amount of time they want without giving up my routines so I’ll talk about it…..i.e. I have to head out at this time so I can go to the gym, I can we go to this restaurant instead it has more (healthy) options for me, I can’t meet up until after yoga class, etc. I look naturally attractive, but it isn’t natural at this age . I have to work hard, but may not seem like it because I wear very little makeup and no fake nails or lashes, etc. the guys who complain about the time I put into fitness and beauty are the same ones who gush about how gorgeous I am. It’s a catch 22

[Anonymous]

The thing about beauty routines is to do them so much they are just habits and lifestyle choices. Set a self care half day once a month that covers mani/pedi and when needed, haircuts/color. Exercise 3-7 days a week and shower after. Wash face in shower. I take spironolactone to keep skin clear, takes 2 seconds. Making healthy food choices when grocery shopping and cooking does not take any more time. Lately I do reps of “crunches” /sucking stomach in when I’m standing up in line waiting for something. Wore sunblock my whole youth and have no wrinkles.

It’s only in the last 6m that I really feel I have to start making an actual effort bc my job was sedentary, I gained some weight and my waistline is expanding. So now I have to start being more diligent about exercise and nutrition, but until now it was effortless just lifestyle choices.

I’m 52.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

The exercise I get, but explain that much time on hair and nails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OPA here. To answer some questions….I don’t really talk about my routines much on my own accord. It comes up in dating because often when men like me they want a lot of my time. I can’t regularly give them the amount of time they want without giving up my routines so I’ll talk about it…..i.e. I have to head out at this time so I can go to the gym, I can we go to this restaurant instead it has more (healthy) options for me, I can’t meet up until after yoga class, etc. I look naturally attractive, but it isn’t natural at this age . I have to work hard, but may not seem like it because I wear very little makeup and no fake nails or lashes, etc. the guys who complain about the time I put into fitness and beauty are the same ones who gush about how gorgeous I am. It’s a catch 22

Your routine sounds fine. It sounds like you might need a guy with more similar priorities/lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OPA here. To answer some questions….I don’t really talk about my routines much on my own accord. It comes up in dating because often when men like me they want a lot of my time. I can’t regularly give them the amount of time they want without giving up my routines so I’ll talk about it…..i.e. I have to head out at this time so I can go to the gym, I can we go to this restaurant instead it has more (healthy) options for me, I can’t meet up until after yoga class, etc. I look naturally attractive, but it isn’t natural at this age . I have to work hard, but may not seem like it because I wear very little makeup and no fake nails or lashes, etc. the guys who complain about the time I put into fitness and beauty are the same ones who gush about how gorgeous I am. It’s a catch 22

You don't even realize how annoyingly high-maintenance you are. Changing the date parameters regularly to accommodate beauty stuff is not socially acceptable, full stop. I'm a woman, and I would never want to socialize with you as a friend if you did this to me. A man would understand even less your need to put these things first.

You sound extremely mentally rigid about your self-care. Are you on the spectrum, perhaps? Clearly it takes center stage and you are doing it for yourself only, because you're actively pushing away potential life partners here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I spend 30 mins a day on skincare…..washing twice a day, exfoliating every other day, sunscreen, moisturizer, gua sha, eye cream, lash serum, and weekly facial. I spend 30 mins a week on nails (I don’t do gel or anything fake).

You’re doing something wrong because I do almost the same thing as you’re doing except the weekly facial and it takes me 10 minutes max a day

[Anonymous]

Post a photo, we'll see who "looks 30 years old."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m mystified what you could be spending 4 hours on weekly for skin and nail care. One pedicure lasts 4-6 weeks and fingernails take 1/2 hour a week tops and that’s every other week. Skincare takes ten minutes a day max.

Gross, new poster here and I would not go more than 2.5 weeks max on a new mani/pedi.

Many people never have their nails done professionally and manage to keep them clean and presentable. Nothing gross about it.

+1 I never get my nails done. A complete waste of money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well yes, lots of men are unrealistic about it. So just tell them the truth of how much work it takes, and that will run off the ones who don't appreciate it.

They may be happier with someone more naturally beautiful.

just as there aren't that many "high quality" men out there, there aren't that many "naturally beautiful" women out there who age well without putting some effort into.

If the man wants you to be naturally beautiful without any effort, and you don't fit that mold, then you are sol.

But, is that really the kind of man you want?

I know for my DH, he'd rather enjoy going out to nice dinners with me (we are foodies) than me lose 10 lbs. He calls me beautiful even when I just get up in the morning, with blotchy skin.

I don't get my nails done. I do have a decent skin care regime, including wearing sunscreen evyerday, but that's also for my vanity as much as anything else.

I'm 52.

It’s arguably impossible to be naturally beautiful after 45 with no effort. If you don’t take care of your skin, eat healthy, lift weights and do at least some cardio, take care of your hair and teeth, and dress decently, you will not be beautiful, no matter how good you looked in your twenties. I know plenty of beautiful older women who wear little makeup and even rock grey hair, but they absolutely work at their glowing skin and tight bodies.

Not true. Some exceptionally beautiful women can look amazing until 55 without effort. My mom and grandma were like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OPA here. To answer some questions….I don’t really talk about my routines much on my own accord. It comes up in dating because often when men like me they want a lot of my time. I can’t regularly give them the amount of time they want without giving up my routines so I’ll talk about it…..i.e. I have to head out at this time so I can go to the gym, I can we go to this restaurant instead it has more (healthy) options for me, I can’t meet up until after yoga class, etc. I look naturally attractive, but it isn’t natural at this age . I have to work hard, but may not seem like it because I wear very little makeup and no fake nails or lashes, etc. the guys who complain about the time I put into fitness and beauty are the same ones who gush about how gorgeous I am. It’s a catch 22

Oh—you’re explaining too much! That’s the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m mystified what you could be spending 4 hours on weekly for skin and nail care. One pedicure lasts 4-6 weeks and fingernails take 1/2 hour a week tops and that’s every other week. Skincare takes ten minutes a day max.

Gross, new poster here and I would not go more than 2.5 weeks max on a new mani/pedi.

Many people never have their nails done professionally and manage to keep them clean and presentable. Nothing gross about it.

+1 I never get my nails done. A complete waste of money

Never been to a nail salon in my life. I do my own nails and they look really nice. I'm lucky to have been born with slim hands and feet and almond shaped nails, but anyone can do nail-care and make their hands and feet look healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handle it with utmost grace. Anything else is inherently unattractive.

This exactly.

Whatever you do, do NOT start the horrible botox/plastic surgery thing.

It generally looks awful and screams desperation.

This poster is misinformed. Botox is not noticeable anymore if you go to a dermatologist. It prevents deep lines in your 11s and crows feet. People who look horrible are typically have had too much filler or had bad plastic surgery in the 1980s - 2000s.

I’m afraid you’re mistaken.

It’s always apparent.

A 20 YO plastic forehead on the same body as 50 YO hands is … unnerving.

And that’s the very nicest word for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Yoga helps maintaining a strong core. 5 hours in a gym is not a low. I spend 10/week (2-3 workouts) and also on a strict diet (only salad at night. no bread, sugars, alcohol). It take a great will to preserve body and looks after 40 for women

It takes a lot for men too.

But the men don't talk about it. If they do, we'd roll our eyes. I recently brought to my DH's attention that most of the middle aged men around him are dyeing their hair and going to the gym daily. He did not even notice. He thought he was aging prematurely.

That’s just a lie. There is not a guy in the universe with any kind of fitness routine— and god forbid running marathons— you will not hear all about.

Disagree. My dh does triathlons, masters swim in the mornings before work, runs during lunch and never talks about it. He eats really healthfully too, a spinach salad heaped with vegetables for lunch every day, barely drinks and doesn't talk about it. (1.5 hours working out daily, 30 min prepping vegetables)

What he really wouldn't talk about is how I got him wearing sunscreen and moisturizer (with HA and vitamin c) every morning, tretinoin at night. He couldn't stand the tretinoin, but now it's just like flossing and he does it.

I have heard his friends joke about his high metabolism and how low maintenance he is. He actually thinks he's low maintenance too. I can't imagine most of them wake at 5am for masters swim.

He obviously doesn’t have a very demanding job. I can’t remember the last time DH or I had “ lunch” at work. We alternate getting up at 5 to work out.