Staying Pretty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPA here. To answer some questions….I don’t really talk about my routines much on my own accord. It comes up in dating because often when men like me they want a lot of my time. I can’t regularly give them the amount of time they want without giving up my routines so I’ll talk about it…..i.e. I have to head out at this time so I can go to the gym, I can we go to this restaurant instead it has more (healthy) options for me, I can’t meet up until after yoga class, etc. I look naturally attractive, but it isn’t natural at this age . I have to work hard, but may not seem like it because I wear very little makeup and no fake nails or lashes, etc. the guys who complain about the time I put into fitness and beauty are the same ones who gush about how gorgeous I am. It’s a catch 22

You don't even realize how annoyingly high-maintenance you are. Changing the date parameters regularly to accommodate beauty stuff is not socially acceptable, full stop. I'm a woman, and I would never want to socialize with you as a friend if you did this to me. A man would understand even less your need to put these things first.

You sound extremely mentally rigid about your self-care. Are you on the spectrum, perhaps? Clearly it takes center stage and you are doing it for yourself only, because you're actively pushing away potential life partners here.

Did you read her post? What “beauty stuff” has to be accommodated? A dude who makes a big deal because you had planned the gym or yoga and now wants you to change your plans to accommodate him is a big annoying baby. I see nothing wrong with wanting to eat at a healthier place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Yoga helps maintaining a strong core. 5 hours in a gym is not a low. I spend 10/week (2-3 workouts) and also on a strict diet (only salad at night. no bread, sugars, alcohol). It take a great will to preserve body and looks after 40 for women

It takes a lot for men too.

But the men don't talk about it. If they do, we'd roll our eyes. I recently brought to my DH's attention that most of the middle aged men around him are dyeing their hair and going to the gym daily. He did not even notice. He thought he was aging prematurely.

That’s just a lie. There is not a guy in the universe with any kind of fitness routine— and god forbid running marathons— you will not hear all about.

Disagree. My dh does triathlons, masters swim in the mornings before work, runs during lunch and never talks about it. He eats really healthfully too, a spinach salad heaped with vegetables for lunch every day, barely drinks and doesn't talk about it. (1.5 hours working out daily, 30 min prepping vegetables)

What he really wouldn't talk about is how I got him wearing sunscreen and moisturizer (with HA and vitamin c) every morning, tretinoin at night. He couldn't stand the tretinoin, but now it's just like flossing and he does it.

I have heard his friends joke about his high metabolism and how low maintenance he is. He actually thinks he's low maintenance too. I can't imagine most of them wake at 5am for masters swim.

He obviously doesn’t have a very demanding job. I can’t remember the last time DH or I had “ lunch” at work. We alternate getting up at 5 to work out.

You sound like you have terrible time management skills if you cannot stop your work day for a few minutes to eat the lunch you have prepared and brought in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPA here. To answer some questions….I don’t really talk about my routines much on my own accord. It comes up in dating because often when men like me they want a lot of my time. I can’t regularly give them the amount of time they want without giving up my routines so I’ll talk about it…..i.e. I have to head out at this time so I can go to the gym, I can we go to this restaurant instead it has more (healthy) options for me, I can’t meet up until after yoga class, etc. I look naturally attractive, but it isn’t natural at this age . I have to work hard, but may not seem like it because I wear very little makeup and no fake nails or lashes, etc. the guys who complain about the time I put into fitness and beauty are the same ones who gush about how gorgeous I am. It’s a catch 22

Oh—you’re explaining too much! That’s the issue.

+1.
Be like the PP's husband who does his workouts at 5 am and his friends think he is low maintenance. Stop explaining too much.

You tell them " I am available at this time. I have some errands to run". You seem like you are apologizing for taking care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handle it with utmost grace. Anything else is inherently unattractive.

This exactly.

Whatever you do, do NOT start the horrible botox/plastic surgery thing.

It generally looks awful and screams desperation.

This poster is misinformed. Botox is not noticeable anymore if you go to a dermatologist. It prevents deep lines in your 11s and crows feet. People who look horrible are typically have had too much filler or had bad plastic surgery in the 1980s - 2000s.

I’m afraid you’re mistaken.

It’s always apparent.

A 20 YO plastic forehead on the same body as 50 YO hands is … unnerving.

And that’s the very nicest word for it.

BS.

Do you think Elizabeth Warren's forehead is natural? It looks very good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPA here. To answer some questions….I don’t really talk about my routines much on my own accord. It comes up in dating because often when men like me they want a lot of my time. I can’t regularly give them the amount of time they want without giving up my routines so I’ll talk about it…..i.e. I have to head out at this time so I can go to the gym, I can we go to this restaurant instead it has more (healthy) options for me, I can’t meet up until after yoga class, etc. I look naturally attractive, but it isn’t natural at this age . I have to work hard, but may not seem like it because I wear very little makeup and no fake nails or lashes, etc. the guys who complain about the time I put into fitness and beauty are the same ones who gush about how gorgeous I am. It’s a catch 22

Your routine sounds fine. It sounds like you might need a guy with more similar priorities/lifestyle.

She is dating men who look nothing like her. All that work to date fat bellied men? Why? A man her age who looks good puts in the work too and will understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handle it with utmost grace. Anything else is inherently unattractive.

This exactly.

Whatever you do, do NOT start the horrible botox/plastic surgery thing.

It generally looks awful and screams desperation.

This poster is misinformed. Botox is not noticeable anymore if you go to a dermatologist. It prevents deep lines in your 11s and crows feet. People who look horrible are typically have had too much filler or had bad plastic surgery in the 1980s - 2000s.

I’m afraid you’re mistaken.

It’s always apparent.

A 20 YO plastic forehead on the same body as 50 YO hands is … unnerving.

And that’s the very nicest word for it.

BS.

Do you think Elizabeth Warren's forehead is natural? It looks very good.

No and no.

Different strokes. For me, it always looks desperate and vain (and in vain).

Like a comb-over on a balding man.

YMMV

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

The exercise I get, but explain that much time on hair and nails.

You should spend more time reading before posting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handle it with utmost grace. Anything else is inherently unattractive.

This exactly.

Whatever you do, do NOT start the horrible botox/plastic surgery thing.

It generally looks awful and screams desperation.

This poster is misinformed. Botox is not noticeable anymore if you go to a dermatologist. It prevents deep lines in your 11s and crows feet. People who look horrible are typically have had too much filler or had bad plastic surgery in the 1980s - 2000s.

I’m afraid you’re mistaken.

It’s always apparent.

A 20 YO plastic forehead on the same body as 50 YO hands is … unnerving.

And that’s the very nicest word for it.

BS.

Do you think Elizabeth Warren's forehead is natural? It looks very good.

No and no.

Different strokes. For me, it always looks desperate and vain (and in vain).

Like a comb-over on a balding man.

YMMV

I think wrinkly foreheads look old and angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I try to stay attractive by working out, eating healthy, and having a disciplined beauty regimen. Men I date appreciate that I look good. I’m middle aged and all of this stuff takes more time and money as I age. Even though guys like that I look nice, many don’t want to support the stuff I have to do to keep up. For instance, they may resent the time it takes or that I have to be strict with my diet. How do others handle this?

"All that effort just to be a hard 4."

Would a soft 4 be more acceptable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 53 and actually more streamlined in routine than my 20s.

I learned what works. Having olive skin and taking care of it from a young age helped dramatically. In my 20s I learned the healthier and smoother your skin the less make-up and crap you need. I’ve used retin-A since I was 20 and with hats to protect my skin since late 20s.

I have dark hair so I don’t try to be a blonde. The roots get professionally colored every 5-6 weeks (takes 1 hour). I get highlights twice a year. I have long thick hair she only need a haircut about every 5-6 months.

I am a former serious athlete abs have always worked out a minimum 1 hour day. Very easy to fit in n 24 hours. I get a pedicure every 3 weeks.

My 30-year old nephew’s wife tells anyone that will listen that I look “30 years old”.

I have muscle memory—little extra fat. I don’t diet but I moderate. I might have a big Ny strip steak, cocktails and wine on date night but eat less later in the week, etc. It is all very manageable.

One of the things my husband like about me when we met was my love of food and drink…I wasn’t a “salad only” girl. We are both healthy eaters and don’t look physically really any different than our 20s, we still beat 20-30 somethings in the gym/exercise class.

It’s tiresome to hear people talk about their routines and deprivations. Life is short- enjoy it. Have that slice of cake or glass of wine once in awhile!

Yes, it is tiresome to talk about routines yet you just droned on for paragraphs about your routines and how wonderful you are. 🤮

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Yoga helps maintaining a strong core. 5 hours in a gym is not a low. I spend 10/week (2-3 workouts) and also on a strict diet (only salad at night. no bread, sugars, alcohol). It take a great will to preserve body and looks after 40 for women

It takes a lot for men too.

But the men don't talk about it. If they do, we'd roll our eyes. I recently brought to my DH's attention that most of the middle aged men around him are dyeing their hair and going to the gym daily. He did not even notice. He thought he was aging prematurely.

That’s just a lie. There is not a guy in the universe with any kind of fitness routine— and god forbid running marathons— you will not hear all about.

Disagree. My dh does triathlons, masters swim in the mornings before work, runs during lunch and never talks about it. He eats really healthfully too, a spinach salad heaped with vegetables for lunch every day, barely drinks and doesn't talk about it. (1.5 hours working out daily, 30 min prepping vegetables)

What he really wouldn't talk about is how I got him wearing sunscreen and moisturizer (with HA and vitamin c) every morning, tretinoin at night. He couldn't stand the tretinoin, but now it's just like flossing and he does it.

I have heard his friends joke about his high metabolism and how low maintenance he is. He actually thinks he's low maintenance too. I can't imagine most of them wake at 5am for masters swim.

He obviously doesn’t have a very demanding job. I can’t remember the last time DH or I had “ lunch” at work. We alternate getting up at 5 to work out.

You sound like you have terrible time management skills if you cannot stop your work day for a few minutes to eat the lunch you have prepared and brought in.

Who said anything about that? I eat at my desk while working. Most people who have an hour or so to spare at work to work out generally have low level less demanding jobs. Duh.

[Anonymous]

I dunno I feel like some plastic surgery has good to look better than the original. Look at Mitch McConnels inflatable neck pouch. There has got to be an operation for that. It can’t possible look worse than it already does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handle it with utmost grace. Anything else is inherently unattractive.

This exactly.

Whatever you do, do NOT start the horrible botox/plastic surgery thing.

It generally looks awful and screams desperation.

This poster is misinformed. Botox is not noticeable anymore if you go to a dermatologist. It prevents deep lines in your 11s and crows feet. People who look horrible are typically have had too much filler or had bad plastic surgery in the 1980s - 2000s.

I’m afraid you’re mistaken.

It’s always apparent.

A 20 YO plastic forehead on the same body as 50 YO hands is … unnerving.

And that’s the very nicest word for it.

BS.

Do you think Elizabeth Warren's forehead is natural? It looks very good.

I am dying to know who her surgeon is. Her neck is also amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handle it with utmost grace. Anything else is inherently unattractive.

This exactly.

Whatever you do, do NOT start the horrible botox/plastic surgery thing.

It generally looks awful and screams desperation.

This poster is misinformed. Botox is not noticeable anymore if you go to a dermatologist. It prevents deep lines in your 11s and crows feet. People who look horrible are typically have had too much filler or had bad plastic surgery in the 1980s - 2000s.

I’m afraid you’re mistaken.

It’s always apparent.

A 20 YO plastic forehead on the same body as 50 YO hands is … unnerving.

And that’s the very nicest word for it.

BS.

Do you think Elizabeth Warren's forehead is natural? It looks very good.

I am dying to know who her surgeon is. Her neck is also amazing.

Her hair color too. 😍

I want to look that hood in my 70s.

[Anonymous]

^ good not hood. Lol