Staying Pretty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Yoga helps maintaining a strong core. 5 hours in a gym is not a low. I spend 10/week (2-3 workouts) and also on a strict diet (only salad at night. no bread, sugars, alcohol). It take a great will to preserve body and looks after 40 for women

It takes a lot for men too.

But the men don't talk about it. If they do, we'd roll our eyes. I recently brought to my DH's attention that most of the middle aged men around him are dyeing their hair and going to the gym daily. He did not even notice. He thought he was aging prematurely.

Men who dye their hair are weird.

My DH will pay you for this statement

All the men over 45 in my family dye their hair. Even my uncle in his 70s dyes his hair. Lol Nothing too dark, so it does not necessarily stand out.

I want my DH to dye his beard like John Travolta. A medium brown beard and his bald head...DH thinks I am too vain.

I think a bit of grey hair looks nice. Too much of it makes you look terrible. George Clooney looks horrible these days.

At what point is it okay to be your natural self? (By the way, I agree with you that there are more men that dye their hair than I realized prepandemic).

I don't know. I am not here to solve the world's problems. I am vain.

I like my bald DH best with a beard, a non- white beard. I will fight, bribe, plead and do whatever it takes to get him to color it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 45 and married. Most of my friends have stayed attractive. I don’t necessarily the time and effort makes someone more pretty. I have a few friends who seem obsessed with beauty routines and I don’t like to hang out with them as much. You can take good care of yourself without telling others. If I am annoyed hearing about it, I’m sure a guy would be more turned off. They want to think you are just attractive.

DH earns a seven figure income and I don’t work. I can spend as much time and money as I want on myself. I also spend 4 hours on skincare/spa per week but no one needs to know or care. I work out daily. I have friends who just don’t eat a lot or drink tons of water and don’t go to the spa and they look fantastic.

I’m not sure why you need to tell these guys how much time and money you spend on your beauty. It makes you sound vain.

Same here. No one on my circle goes on and on about our beauty routines. If anything, we downplay our efforts. You can also divorce the idea of exercise from beauty and just do it because it makes you feel good, which is something you shouldn’t apologize for or over explain.

You downplay your efforts? So you feed into the myth of "natural" aging and that looking effortlessly good comes with minimal effort?

NP here, and I also don’t bore others by droning in about my beauty and fitness routines, even though I spend a lot of time and money on looking good. In the first place, it’s boring and tone-deaf: nobody wants to hear about what I did at the gym or what I’m doing to my skin. In the second place, it is insensitive. Not everyone has the time or money to spend on that kind of routine, and some of my friends struggle with their weight. My best friend thinks our other friend is targeting her when the woman talks about her diet and routine, and…it kind of does look that way. Just really immature and thoughtless. I would rather talk about books or politics or shared experiences, not force a captive audience to hear what I do for vanity (I am vain).

LOL, it's not a choice of discussion between books/politics and beauty routines, is it? But if someone asks what you are doing on Tuesday afternoon, and on Tuesday afternoon, you are going to the gym, do you answer? or do you hide and act coy? that's what OP's situation is about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 45 and married. Most of my friends have stayed attractive. I don’t necessarily the time and effort makes someone more pretty. I have a few friends who seem obsessed with beauty routines and I don’t like to hang out with them as much. You can take good care of yourself without telling others. If I am annoyed hearing about it, I’m sure a guy would be more turned off. They want to think you are just attractive.


DH earns a seven figure income and I don’t work. I can spend as much time and money as I want on myself. I also spend 4 hours on skincare/spa per week but no one needs to know or care. I work out daily. I have friends who just don’t eat a lot or drink tons of water and don’t go to the spa and they look fantastic.

I’m not sure why you need to tell these guys how much time and money you spend on your beauty. It makes you sound vain.

Same here. No one on my circle goes on and on about our beauty routines. If anything, we downplay our efforts. You can also divorce the idea of exercise from beauty and just do it because it makes you feel good, which is something you shouldn’t apologize for or over explain.

You downplay your efforts? So you feed into the myth of "natural" aging and that looking effortlessly good comes with minimal effort?

DP but yes, I do. Who wants to be a bore?

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it is fine if a man asks you do to something and you say you have a yoga class so you suggest some other time. However, if it is something special, like a concert or a party, I think you should be more flexible and maybe skip the class or go to a different one that week.

Also, if he suggests a restaurant I am sure you could find something to eat without complaining that it is not healthy enough. Unless, these men are all suggesting Ben's Chili Bowl or Half Smoke.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope you can find a partner who also understands daily exercise!

In the meantime, if you like these guys, I wonder if there is room to be a bit more flexible in your schedule. I'm also a big exerciser, and love to do yoga daily for at least 20 minutes. But, I have two little kids and a husband... so I sometimes have to be flexible about *when* and *where* I do it. Like, maybe it means instead of going to a class in person, I put on a Youtube video. Maybe I wanted to do it at 8pm, but instead I need to push it to 9pm because my younger son wanted to chat about something.

rigidity is tough in any relationships -- romantic, parental, etc.

[Anonymous]

(I also think being overly rigid about restaurants is a downer. I'm a thin healthy person, and I can find something to eat at any restaurant.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

This is crazy! I am a pretty middle aged woman. At least that's what I hear. I'm pretty compared to an average middle aged woman. And I will never compare myself to the pretty flushed fresh 20 something. I am very slender and spend 2-3 hrs a week exercising. And a few hrs a week cooking everything from scratch. I am more concerned with maintaining health than prettiness but being healthy has the bonus of helping with prettiness. Fresh skin, nice hair, real nails that look good, clear eyes, nice teeth. I spend 20 min a day doing ny makeup and hair. I do my own nails and don't do botox or other treatments. You don't need to spend hours and hours to maintain prettiness. By the way my family benefits from my scratch cooking. You sound self involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 45 and married. Most of my friends have stayed attractive. I don’t necessarily the time and effort makes someone more pretty. I have a few friends who seem obsessed with beauty routines and I don’t like to hang out with them as much. You can take good care of yourself without telling others. If I am annoyed hearing about it, I’m sure a guy would be more turned off. They want to think you are just attractive.

DH earns a seven figure income and I don’t work. I can spend as much time and money as I want on myself. I also spend 4 hours on skincare/spa per week but no one needs to know or care. I work out daily. I have friends who just don’t eat a lot or drink tons of water and don’t go to the spa and they look fantastic.

I’m not sure why you need to tell these guys how much time and money you spend on your beauty. It makes you sound vain.

Same here. No one on my circle goes on and on about our beauty routines. If anything, we downplay our efforts. You can also divorce the idea of exercise from beauty and just do it because it makes you feel good, which is something you shouldn’t apologize for or over explain.

You downplay your efforts? So you feed into the myth of "natural" aging and that looking effortlessly good comes with minimal effort?

NP here, and I also don’t bore others by droning in about my beauty and fitness routines, even though I spend a lot of time and money on looking good. In the first place, it’s boring and tone-deaf: nobody wants to hear about what I did at the gym or what I’m doing to my skin. In the second place, it is insensitive. Not everyone has the time or money to spend on that kind of routine, and some of my friends struggle with their weight. My best friend thinks our other friend is targeting her when the woman talks about her diet and routine, and…it kind of does look that way. Just really immature and thoughtless. I would rather talk about books or politics or shared experiences, not force a captive audience to hear what I do for vanity (I am vain).

LOL, it's not a choice of discussion between books/politics and beauty routines, is it? But if someone asks what you are doing on Tuesday afternoon, and on Tuesday afternoon, you are going to the gym, do you answer? or do you hide and act coy? that's what OP's situation is about.

I’m the 45yo married pp. I personally work out right after I drop my kids off at school and not in the afternoons. DH knows I do this and doesn’t care. My friends also know this and don’t care. I don’t talk about it, just as I don’t talk about showering and washing my hair. I am a frequent spa goer - nails, facials and massages. Most people don’t ask exact details of your day hour by hour. You are available or not available whether it is because you have a work call, doc appointment, driving your kids, on a date with another man.

It is all about the way you make another person feel. I try to work out almost everyday. This is easy when Dh is at work and kids at school. If I also worked and tried to work out during dinner, that would be a problem. I work out on weekends when everyone is waking up. My family and friends all know I work out in the mornings. No one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

This is crazy! I am a pretty middle aged woman. At least that's what I hear. I'm pretty compared to an average middle aged woman. And I will never compare myself to the pretty flushed fresh 20 something. I am very slender and spend 2-3 hrs a week exercising. And a few hrs a week cooking everything from scratch. I am more concerned with maintaining health than prettiness but being healthy has the bonus of helping with prettiness. Fresh skin, nice hair, real nails that look good, clear eyes, nice teeth. I spend 20 min a day doing ny makeup and hair. I do my own nails and don't do botox or other treatments. You don't need to spend hours and hours to maintain prettiness. By the way my family benefits from my scratch cooking. You sound self involved.

OP is used to being single. She probably doesn’t have kids. There is a reason she is still single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of us don't have to work as hard as you do to look great.

yeah, mean girls live on! not great look for you, meanness comes out through your eyes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 45 and married. Most of my friends have stayed attractive. I don’t necessarily the time and effort makes someone more pretty. I have a few friends who seem obsessed with beauty routines and I don’t like to hang out with them as much. You can take good care of yourself without telling others. If I am annoyed hearing about it, I’m sure a guy would be more turned off. They want to think you are just attractive.

DH earns a seven figure income and I don’t work. I can spend as much time and money as I want on myself. I also spend 4 hours on skincare/spa per week but no one needs to know or care. I work out daily. I have friends who just don’t eat a lot or drink tons of water and don’t go to the spa and they look fantastic.

I’m not sure why you need to tell these guys how much time and money you spend on your beauty. It makes you sound vain.

Same here. No one on my circle goes on and on about our beauty routines. If anything, we downplay our efforts. You can also divorce the idea of exercise from beauty and just do it because it makes you feel good, which is something you shouldn’t apologize for or over explain.

You downplay your efforts? So you feed into the myth of "natural" aging and that looking effortlessly good comes with minimal effort?

NP here, and I also don’t bore others by droning in about my beauty and fitness routines, even though I spend a lot of time and money on looking good. In the first place, it’s boring and tone-deaf: nobody wants to hear about what I did at the gym or what I’m doing to my skin. In the second place, it is insensitive. Not everyone has the time or money to spend on that kind of routine, and some of my friends struggle with their weight. My best friend thinks our other friend is targeting her when the woman talks about her diet and routine, and…it kind of does look that way. Just really immature and thoughtless. I would rather talk about books or politics or shared experiences, not force a captive audience to hear what I do for vanity (I am vain).

LOL, it's not a choice of discussion between books/politics and beauty routines, is it? But if someone asks what you are doing on Tuesday afternoon, and on Tuesday afternoon, you are going to the gym, do you answer? or do you hide and act coy? that's what OP's situation is about.

I’m the 45yo married pp. I personally work out right after I drop my kids off at school and not in the afternoons. DH knows I do this and doesn’t care. My friends also know this and don’t care. I don’t talk about it, just as I don’t talk about showering and washing my hair. I am a frequent spa goer - nails, facials and massages. Most people don’t ask exact details of your day hour by hour. You are available or not available whether it is because you have a work call, doc appointment, driving your kids, on a date with another man.

It is all about the way you make another person feel. I try to work out almost everyday. This is easy when Dh is at work and kids at school. If I also worked and tried to work out during dinner, that would be a problem. I work out on weekends when everyone is waking up. My family and friends all know I work out in the mornings. No one cares.

That's it. They all know. You are all telling OP to hide this info from boyfriend. If he actually gives an F, he is the one who is too sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 45 and married. Most of my friends have stayed attractive. I don’t necessarily the time and effort makes someone more pretty. I have a few friends who seem obsessed with beauty routines and I don’t like to hang out with them as much. You can take good care of yourself without telling others. If I am annoyed hearing about it, I’m sure a guy would be more turned off. They want to think you are just attractive.

DH earns a seven figure income and I don’t work. I can spend as much time and money as I want on myself. I also spend 4 hours on skincare/spa per week but no one needs to know or care. I work out daily. I have friends who just don’t eat a lot or drink tons of water and don’t go to the spa and they look fantastic.

I’m not sure why you need to tell these guys how much time and money you spend on your beauty. It makes you sound vain.

Same here. No one on my circle goes on and on about our beauty routines. If anything, we downplay our efforts. You can also divorce the idea of exercise from beauty and just do it because it makes you feel good, which is something you shouldn’t apologize for or over explain.

You downplay your efforts? So you feed into the myth of "natural" aging and that looking effortlessly good comes with minimal effort?

NP here, and I also don’t bore others by droning in about my beauty and fitness routines, even though I spend a lot of time and money on looking good. In the first place, it’s boring and tone-deaf: nobody wants to hear about what I did at the gym or what I’m doing to my skin. In the second place, it is insensitive. Not everyone has the time or money to spend on that kind of routine, and some of my friends struggle with their weight. My best friend thinks our other friend is targeting her when the woman talks about her diet and routine, and…it kind of does look that way. Just really immature and thoughtless. I would rather talk about books or politics or shared experiences, not force a captive audience to hear what I do for vanity (I am vain).

LOL, it's not a choice of discussion between books/politics and beauty routines, is it? But if someone asks what you are doing on Tuesday afternoon, and on Tuesday afternoon, you are going to the gym, do you answer? or do you hide and act coy? that's what OP's situation is about.

I’m the 45yo married pp. I personally work out right after I drop my kids off at school and not in the afternoons. DH knows I do this and doesn’t care. My friends also know this and don’t care. I don’t talk about it, just as I don’t talk about showering and washing my hair. I am a frequent spa goer - nails, facials and massages. Most people don’t ask exact details of your day hour by hour. You are available or not available whether it is because you have a work call, doc appointment, driving your kids, on a date with another man.

It is all about the way you make another person feel. I try to work out almost everyday. This is easy when Dh is at work and kids at school. If I also worked and tried to work out during dinner, that would be a problem. I work out on weekends when everyone is waking up. My family and friends all know I work out in the mornings. No one cares.

That's it. They all know. You are all telling OP to hide this info from boyfriend. If he actually gives an F, he is the one who is too sensitive.

I mean will OP’s bf care if she goes to the gym for an hour after sex? She can just come back and shower and then they can eat breakfast or go out for brunch. That’s what I do.

I really don’t talk about my working out. If friend wants to meet up, I say I will meet at 10 or 11 after I work out. If friend isn’t available, I will skip my workout and meet friend and work out a little later. And yes, of course I don’t have to work out everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 45 and married. Most of my friends have stayed attractive. I don’t necessarily the time and effort makes someone more pretty. I have a few friends who seem obsessed with beauty routines and I don’t like to hang out with them as much. You can take good care of yourself without telling others. If I am annoyed hearing about it, I’m sure a guy would be more turned off. They want to think you are just attractive.

DH earns a seven figure income and I don’t work. I can spend as much time and money as I want on myself. I also spend 4 hours on skincare/spa per week but no one needs to know or care. I work out daily. I have friends who just don’t eat a lot or drink tons of water and don’t go to the spa and they look fantastic.

I’m not sure why you need to tell these guys how much time and money you spend on your beauty. It makes you sound vain.

Same here. No one on my circle goes on and on about our beauty routines. If anything, we downplay our efforts. You can also divorce the idea of exercise from beauty and just do it because it makes you feel good, which is something you shouldn’t apologize for or over explain.

You downplay your efforts? So you feed into the myth of "natural" aging and that looking effortlessly good comes with minimal effort?

NP here, and I also don’t bore others by droning in about my beauty and fitness routines, even though I spend a lot of time and money on looking good. In the first place, it’s boring and tone-deaf: nobody wants to hear about what I did at the gym or what I’m doing to my skin. In the second place, it is insensitive. Not everyone has the time or money to spend on that kind of routine, and some of my friends struggle with their weight. My best friend thinks our other friend is targeting her when the woman talks about her diet and routine, and…it kind of does look that way. Just really immature and thoughtless. I would rather talk about books or politics or shared experiences, not force a captive audience to hear what I do for vanity (I am vain).

LOL, it's not a choice of discussion between books/politics and beauty routines, is it? But if someone asks what you are doing on Tuesday afternoon, and on Tuesday afternoon, you are going to the gym, do you answer? or do you hide and act coy? that's what OP's situation is about.

I’m the 45yo married pp. I personally work out right after I drop my kids off at school and not in the afternoons. DH knows I do this and doesn’t care. My friends also know this and don’t care. I don’t talk about it, just as I don’t talk about showering and washing my hair. I am a frequent spa goer - nails, facials and massages. Most people don’t ask exact details of your day hour by hour. You are available or not available whether it is because you have a work call, doc appointment, driving your kids, on a date with another man.

It is all about the way you make another person feel. I try to work out almost everyday. This is easy when Dh is at work and kids at school. If I also worked and tried to work out during dinner, that would be a problem. I work out on weekends when everyone is waking up. My family and friends all know I work out in the mornings. No one cares.

That's it. They all know. You are all telling OP to hide this info from boyfriend. If he actually gives an F, he is the one who is too sensitive.

I mean will OP’s bf care if she goes to the gym for an hour after sex? She can just come back and shower and then they can eat breakfast or go out for brunch. That’s what I do.

I really don’t talk about my working out. If friend wants to meet up, I say I will meet at 10 or 11 after I work out. If friend isn’t available, I will skip my workout and meet friend and work out a little later. And yes, of course I don’t have to work out everyday.

Benefits of not having a job. Some of us have to balance our commitments or we can’t work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 45 and married. Most of my friends have stayed attractive. I don’t necessarily the time and effort makes someone more pretty. I have a few friends who seem obsessed with beauty routines and I don’t like to hang out with them as much. You can take good care of yourself without telling others. If I am annoyed hearing about it, I’m sure a guy would be more turned off. They want to think you are just attractive.

DH earns a seven figure income and I don’t work. I can spend as much time and money as I want on myself. I also spend 4 hours on skincare/spa per week but no one needs to know or care. I work out daily. I have friends who just don’t eat a lot or drink tons of water and don’t go to the spa and they look fantastic.

I’m not sure why you need to tell these guys how much time and money you spend on your beauty. It makes you sound vain.

Same here. No one on my circle goes on and on about our beauty routines. If anything, we downplay our efforts. You can also divorce the idea of exercise from beauty and just do it because it makes you feel good, which is something you shouldn’t apologize for or over explain.

You downplay your efforts? So you feed into the myth of "natural" aging and that looking effortlessly good comes with minimal effort?

NP here, and I also don’t bore others by droning in about my beauty and fitness routines, even though I spend a lot of time and money on looking good. In the first place, it’s boring and tone-deaf: nobody wants to hear about what I did at the gym or what I’m doing to my skin. In the second place, it is insensitive. Not everyone has the time or money to spend on that kind of routine, and some of my friends struggle with their weight. My best friend thinks our other friend is targeting her when the woman talks about her diet and routine, and…it kind of does look that way. Just really immature and thoughtless. I would rather talk about books or politics or shared experiences, not force a captive audience to hear what I do for vanity (I am vain).

LOL, it's not a choice of discussion between books/politics and beauty routines, is it? But if someone asks what you are doing on Tuesday afternoon, and on Tuesday afternoon, you are going to the gym, do you answer? or do you hide and act coy? that's what OP's situation is about.

I’m the 45yo married pp. I personally work out right after I drop my kids off at school and not in the afternoons. DH knows I do this and doesn’t care. My friends also know this and don’t care. I don’t talk about it, just as I don’t talk about showering and washing my hair. I am a frequent spa goer - nails, facials and massages. Most people don’t ask exact details of your day hour by hour. You are available or not available whether it is because you have a work call, doc appointment, driving your kids, on a date with another man.

It is all about the way you make another person feel. I try to work out almost everyday. This is easy when Dh is at work and kids at school. If I also worked and tried to work out during dinner, that would be a problem. I work out on weekends when everyone is waking up. My family and friends all know I work out in the mornings. No one cares.

That's it. They all know. You are all telling OP to hide this info from boyfriend. If he actually gives an F, he is the one who is too sensitive.

I mean will OP’s bf care if she goes to the gym for an hour after sex? She can just come back and shower and then they can eat breakfast or go out for brunch. That’s what I do.

I really don’t talk about my working out. If friend wants to meet up, I say I will meet at 10 or 11 after I work out. If friend isn’t available, I will skip my workout and meet friend and work out a little later. And yes, of course I don’t have to work out everyday.

Benefits of not having a job. Some of us have to balance our commitments or we can’t work out.

Omg this woman is single and childless. How many commitments can she have?! She can work out any time she wants. She can also meet the boyfriend any time too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 45 and married. Most of my friends have stayed attractive. I don’t necessarily the time and effort makes someone more pretty. I have a few friends who seem obsessed with beauty routines and I don’t like to hang out with them as much. You can take good care of yourself without telling others. If I am annoyed hearing about it, I’m sure a guy would be more turned off. They want to think you are just attractive.

DH earns a seven figure income and I don’t work. I can spend as much time and money as I want on myself. I also spend 4 hours on skincare/spa per week but no one needs to know or care. I work out daily. I have friends who just don’t eat a lot or drink tons of water and don’t go to the spa and they look fantastic.

I’m not sure why you need to tell these guys how much time and money you spend on your beauty. It makes you sound vain.

Same here. No one on my circle goes on and on about our beauty routines. If anything, we downplay our efforts. You can also divorce the idea of exercise from beauty and just do it because it makes you feel good, which is something you shouldn’t apologize for or over explain.

You downplay your efforts? So you feed into the myth of "natural" aging and that looking effortlessly good comes with minimal effort?

NP here, and I also don’t bore others by droning in about my beauty and fitness routines, even though I spend a lot of time and money on looking good. In the first place, it’s boring and tone-deaf: nobody wants to hear about what I did at the gym or what I’m doing to my skin. In the second place, it is insensitive. Not everyone has the time or money to spend on that kind of routine, and some of my friends struggle with their weight. My best friend thinks our other friend is targeting her when the woman talks about her diet and routine, and…it kind of does look that way. Just really immature and thoughtless. I would rather talk about books or politics or shared experiences, not force a captive audience to hear what I do for vanity (I am vain).

LOL, it's not a choice of discussion between books/politics and beauty routines, is it? But if someone asks what you are doing on Tuesday afternoon, and on Tuesday afternoon, you are going to the gym, do you answer? or do you hide and act coy? that's what OP's situation is about.

I’m the 45yo married pp. I personally work out right after I drop my kids off at school and not in the afternoons. DH knows I do this and doesn’t care. My friends also know this and don’t care. I don’t talk about it, just as I don’t talk about showering and washing my hair. I am a frequent spa goer - nails, facials and massages. Most people don’t ask exact details of your day hour by hour. You are available or not available whether it is because you have a work call, doc appointment, driving your kids, on a date with another man.

It is all about the way you make another person feel. I try to work out almost everyday. This is easy when Dh is at work and kids at school. If I also worked and tried to work out during dinner, that would be a problem. I work out on weekends when everyone is waking up. My family and friends all know I work out in the mornings. No one cares.

That's it. They all know. You are all telling OP to hide this info from boyfriend. If he actually gives an F, he is the one who is too sensitive.

I mean will OP’s bf care if she goes to the gym for an hour after sex? She can just come back and shower and then they can eat breakfast or go out for brunch. That’s what I do.

I really don’t talk about my working out. If friend wants to meet up, I say I will meet at 10 or 11 after I work out. If friend isn’t available, I will skip my workout and meet friend and work out a little later. And yes, of course I don’t have to work out everyday.

Benefits of not having a job. Some of us have to balance our commitments or we can’t work out.

Omg this woman is single and childless. How many commitments can she have?! She can work out any time she wants. She can also meet the boyfriend any time too.

I have a job and a child. I am widowed. In order to date I have to juggle multiple things.