Envy of other women’s husbands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hot, rich, and family minded/faithful?

You gotta pick 2 out of 3. The number of men who are all 3 is vanishingly small.

Honey you are lucky if you get literally one of these.

+1, I know a bunch of men who are family minded/faithful and none of them are hot or rich (some of them do make pretty decent salaries and work hard for them, but they aren't "rich" and definitely weren't when they got married).

Most rich guys aren't hot. The very few that are either get snapped up really young OR they are huge aholes.

The more successful/high earning a guy is, usually the less family-minded he is. This wasn't necessarily true a generation or two ago, but it is now. Men who are very driven by success and achievement don't have much interest in being equal parenting partners, and will always choose the career advantage over time with their families.

And finally: so few men are truly "hot". Just like with women, you're talking about a tiny fraction of the population. Some men do a good job of cleaning themselves and presenting the best version of themselves. Just like a lot of women do this too -- work out, right haircut, take care with clothes, take care of skin, etc. A lot of high earners are like this because taking care of their appearance is also good for their careers. But they aren't "hot". And by the time they turn 50, they'll look like they're 50. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hot, rich, and family minded/faithful?

You gotta pick 2 out of 3. The number of men who are all 3 is vanishingly small.

Honey you are lucky if you get literally one of these.

+1 seriously

Rich guys are invariably balding, paunchy, poorly dressed, and jerks at worst, workaholics at best.

Hot guys are vapid, unmotivated, looking for a mommy/a woman to take care of them and not an equal partner, and a lot of them are cheaters to boot.

Family minded/faithful is the rarest to find in men because it requires maturity and self-sacrifice, which men generally don’t have, no matter their age.

Well then I am a lucky lady! Reading this site makes me appreciate my DH much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Emphasis on "culture and sophisticated" is not what most people look for in a partner. Most people want a good life, not showing off for the public.

Well my DH cared quite a bit about accomplishments and was very clear about wanting a highly educated mate who would commit to raising high-achieving children. Part of what he was looking for was "cultured and sophisticated."

Do you believe that your egalitarian husband would have picked you if you were 50 pounds heavier or were stricken with terrible acne but everything else was the same?

That’s not just men though. I probably wouldn’t date my boyfriend if he put on 50 lbs of flab and had horrific skin either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Envy is never a good look. Work on making your family, your marriage and your dh the best it can be.

Btw, I'm married to one of those guys and I'm no where near as hot as DH. He was more focused on personality, good upbringing and picking an emotionally mature mate.

Also, some of those guys? Their wives are the ones who have turned them into a total catch.

+1

OP, you fail to see what goes on behind closed doors, and how much work it is to be married to someone like this. Some of my friends have husbands like you describe, and I hear so much dirt about his personality, family, baggage and failures. The wives are left cleaning up the husbands figurative messes. You have no idea. All seems perfect from the outside, of course, as always.

Women like you would not last a minute with a man like that - all you see is the money - you have no idea what it takes to get there, and where it came from. In many cases, it is the woman whose family has the money, so you would never get near that money.

Lol sure! Oh the wife does everything!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Emphasis on "culture and sophisticated" is not what most people look for in a partner. Most people want a good life, not showing off for the public.

Well my DH cared quite a bit about accomplishments and was very clear about wanting a highly educated mate who would commit to raising high-achieving children. Part of what he was looking for was "cultured and sophisticated."

Do you believe that your egalitarian husband would have picked you if you were 50 pounds heavier or were stricken with terrible acne but everything else was the same?

That’s not just men though. I probably wouldn’t date my boyfriend if he put on 50 lbs of flab and had horrific skin either.

I guess we'll agree to disagree. DH has bad skin and I've dated men 50 lbs heavier. I'm not sure if it's you or me who is the outlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time being around my friend's husbands because I hate them all so much. Even if she swears up and down that he is the most emotionally mature and respectful feminist man to ever grace the earth, he repulses me. I can find glaring faults with all of them. I've had my children and I own a hitachi wan. Men are useless to me now.

Congratulations with being able to find faults. Very impressive.

Sorry about your fragile feelings, loser guy. I bet your mommy still loves you, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Envy is never a good look. Work on making your family, your marriage and your dh the best it can be.

Btw, I'm married to one of those guys and I'm no where near as hot as DH. He was more focused on personality, good upbringing and picking an emotionally mature mate.

Also, some of those guys? Their wives are the ones who have turned them into a total catch.

Ha ha, this is partly my husband. He dresses much better, has a better haircut, and a better body than he did when I met him thanks to me. (The better body is because he now eats super healthy food cooked by me rather than the frozen meals and restaurant grub.)

Yeah I mean growing up all I wanted to be was the woman caring and dressing a hot Ken doll. Then Ken would ride off to work a lot to earn money and I could play with the Barbie’s and babies.

[Anonymous]

I have one of these husbands and he drives me nuts sometimes. "No matter how beautiful a woman is, there's some guy sick of her s***." - paraphrase of a great quote. I love him beyond measure, but that quote is true!

[Anonymous]

Every guy has something their DW is putting up with. My DH is tall dark and handsome, earns seven figures, and a loving involved father and family man as he has a rare job with no travel and forty hours a week.

However he is a hypochondriac and when he goes crazy over a perceived medical issue it’s tough dealing with him. On the other hand he is on top of any medical issues vs having to drag him to the doctor.

No DH is perfect just saying. It’s just what you can live with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is hard for me to admit but I sometimes have a passing thought when I meet a couple and the husband appears to be a total catch! Or at least, the kind of men I’d want to be married to.

They’re fit, smart, devoted family men, high earners and emotionally mature.

I’d think on paper I’d be a good fit for men like that as I have all similar interests and goals. But! I am not as beautiful as their wives! The women they pick are definitely hotter than me and…I guess that makes all the difference?

My husband is all of those things now, but when I met him he was just smart and devoted, lol.

You just naturally attract someone who is about where you are, right? But over the course of decades, one or both of you may become much better or worse than you were in the beginning. I thought my husband had the potential to be a high earner, but he had a lot of missteps in the beginning and I carried us for several years. Now he's all the things you mentioned, while I'm struggling with health problems and heavier than I'd like. I'm sure we look mismatched, but that's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looks are basically all that matter.

Right, until the open their poison-filled mouth, cast their hateful eyes in your direction, or sigh with derision. Clearly you haven't been married...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time being around my friend's husbands because I hate them all so much. Even if she swears up and down that he is the most emotionally mature and respectful feminist man to ever grace the earth, he repulses me. I can find glaring faults with all of them. I've had my children and I own a hitachi wan. Men are useless to me now.

Lol, trust me, their ball sacks shoot into their pecks when you walk into the room. They would rather break their ribs and chew their own taint than talk to you. The repulsion goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is hard for me to admit but I sometimes have a passing thought when I meet a couple and the husband appears to be a total catch! Or at least, the kind of men I’d want to be married to.

They’re fit, smart, devoted family men, high earners and emotionally mature.

I’d think on paper I’d be a good fit for men like that as I have all similar interests and goals. But! I am not as beautiful as their wives! The women they pick are definitely hotter than me and…I guess that makes all the difference?

Lol Two of the best looking husbands I know, who also happen to be charming and high earning, are getting divorced from their wives because the men had affairs.

Don’t envy marriages you aren’t in, and ignore the trolls dunking on your looks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time being around my friend's husbands because I hate them all so much. Even if she swears up and down that he is the most emotionally mature and respectful feminist man to ever grace the earth, he repulses me. I can find glaring faults with all of them. I've had my children and I own a hitachi wan. Men are useless to me now.

Lol, trust me, their ball sacks shoot into their pecks when you walk into the room. They would rather break their ribs and chew their own taint than talk to you. The repulsion goes both ways.

This is oddly specific and weird, but okay.
I’m not the PP you were addressing but while I truly enjoy men, I share her feelings. And you know what? I’m hot, fun, well resourced and men can’t stay away.

The non incel type finds a woman like us- independent and aware of our worth- irresistible. It is terribly, overtly emasculating to men like you, which I can only assume relates to your success or lack thereof in the dating pool.

“Their ball sacs shoot into their pecks” is one of the funnier things I’ve heard lately- especially as it just begs one to picture this physical impossibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Envy is never a good look. Work on making your family, your marriage and your dh the best it can be.

Btw, I'm married to one of those guys and I'm no where near as hot as DH. He was more focused on personality, good upbringing and picking an emotionally mature mate.

Also, some of those guys? Their wives are the ones who have turned them into a total catch.

Good upbringing? Talking about yourself in this language is… not emotionally mature.