what is with parents serving alcohol at parties for kids who are 15 and 16?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:European who went to private here in the US.

I’ve been drinking wine since 13 and many of my friends were drinking in high school. I can extrapolate that to all private kids, but it tracks.

Be careful to avoid the trope about European attitudes about alcohol. It’s not like Europeans are more sophisticated about it or something. Binge drinking and problem drinking are huge problems in many places in Europe.

I've never seen someone from my country funneling beer flavored water through a hose. We also don't rape women after.

Which country is that? Because binge drinking is a huge problem in most European countries.

https://www.vox.com/2016/1/26/10833208/europe-lower-drinking-age#:~:text=If%20you%20look%20at%20the%20data%2C%20there%27s%20no,drinking%20than%20American%20teens.%20This%20continues%20into%20adulthood.

--German

--graduate of

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alcohol affects teen brains differently than those of adults:

https://www.talkitoutnc.org/alcohol-developing-brain/

Thank you for this link--I'll be sharing it with my child. As someone with alcoholism in my family, I take teenage drinking especially seriously. Parents who serve alcohol to minors who are their own children should face consequences. They do not know what preexisting conditions kids have, what medications they may be own, or if they have a high likelihood of becoming an alcoholic. Really really bad judgement on these parents' part. This fact is sobering:
Underage drinking can "wire" the brain for alcoholism
Chances of becoming an alcoholic
40%
Kids who begin drinking before age 15

7%
Someone who waits until age 21

My brother is one of these statistics--he started drinking in middle school. Has had a few sober years but has had alcohol use disorder ever since. He's in his 40s now. I expect it will kill him/lead to an untimely demise and it's certainly f*ed up his life and my family's life. He actually threw parties in my parents' guest house with alcohol when he was a teenager. Had older kids get the booze for him. My parents had no idea what was going on. They certainly wouldn't have allowed it had they known!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:European who went to private here in the US.

I’ve been drinking wine since 13 and many of my friends were drinking in high school. I can extrapolate that to all private kids, but it tracks.

Why do so many (most?) people on this board say European? Are you ashamed of your country? Afraid you'll be outed in an areas with thousands of others? I'm really curious. Back to the topic.

I'm German, and grew up drinking wine/beer at family events. When I moved here with my parents as an early teen, they never served alcohol to my friends or at my parties, because it was illegal and not the cultural norm here. They might have at much smaller parties/dinners where they knew the parents, but I really don't remember that party very well.

Because I don't want to be recognized.

GMAFB

There's zero chance I'm getting recognized and about a 50%-100% chance that every time I say I'm German someone is going to say something crappy about Germany. That's fine, i can deal with it. I think that's your issue, having to defend your country and culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:European who went to private here in the US.

I’ve been drinking wine since 13 and many of my friends were drinking in high school. I can extrapolate that to all private kids, but it tracks.

Be careful to avoid the trope about European attitudes about alcohol. It’s not like Europeans are more sophisticated about it or something. Binge drinking and problem drinking are huge problems in many places in Europe.

I've never seen someone from my country funneling beer flavored water through a hose. We also don't rape women after.

Oh, the European country of Fantasia.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my fifties and graduated from a Fairfax County school. Even then some parents were doing this. Does that make it right? No. My point, though, is that this is nothing new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private schools tend to draw a more cosmopolitan, international crowd that understands there’s nothing wrong with teenagers drinking like they do abroad.

Nothing wrong? There is plenty wrong. It’s not like attitudes about drinking “abroad” are better or something.

They are.

Ha, they are NOT. Well, unless you like super high out of control levels of alcoholism (see France, which has become a public health crisis).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parents present at these parties? Just from a liability perspective, I'm flabbergasted. Especially with so many of the parents being lawyers. I know these parties do exist and it makes me sad. Why on earth are people encouraging their much to young teenagers to be drinking? Study after study shows how dangerous drinking in highschool is both in the short and long term.

Is this born out of a need for the parents to feel cool? Parents who provide alcohol to minors please explain your though process. I'm a parent who will call the cops on one of these parties. It's just fundamentally wrong on so many levels to be serving 14 to 18 year old alcohol.

Why do you feel that way? Teens drink abroad.

And this is relevant how? This idealization of anything European is ridiculous. European teens have their own issues with drugs and alcohol and the consequences that flow from these actions--DUI's, rape, depression, poor grades, etc. Throwing alcohol into the mix of hormone crazy developing teenage boys and girls is like throwing a match onto to gasoline. They already naturally have impulse control and judgement issues by virtue of their age. Do these alcohol host parents want another Kavanaugh situation on their hands? And unlike the 80's, ALL the kids have phones, everything is documented. JUST SO STUPID and immoral on so many levels. Where are the adults. arrested development at its best.

Most European teens don’t drive. Public transportation is robust and areas are very walkable.

Well that changes everything

It does.

Hmm--depression, rape, poor grades, other alcohol induced injuries (swimming under the influence and drowning, passing out and getting a concussion, the list goes on). You don't make sense pp. When teens start to drink their brain formation and chemistry changes. And make no mistake, we are not talking about a glass of table wine occasionally we with mom and dad, these teens to drink to get buzzed or very often, blackout drunk. Not sure what rock you've been living under. Drinking as a teen no matter where in the world you live is problematic.

[Anonymous]

I really really wish neighbors would start calling the cops on these parents. Yes, I don’t have to let me kids attend but I don’t always know and underage drinking and drugging is illegal.

On the brain chem subject, for most, nothing happens. However for many a lot of hard core damage is done, much of it irreversible. Please read about this. So much lit and science there.

All wishful thinking to serve underage and think it is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids at two different Big3 schools.
This past week (end of year parties and grad parties) each of my kids has been invited to KID ONLY parties
where the parents bought alcohol. The kids at one party were 15-16. The other ones were grad parties so the kids were 17-18.
The parents bought the alcohol (not the kids sneaking in). The parents had ice buckets of ice seltzer, etc for age 15+ kids.
They're not tiny parties either (like just the popular or wild kids or anything like that).
It's a normal cross section of the classes.

Am I hopelessly out of touch? My kids say "it's a private school thing mom. All the parents do it."
Is this true?
I am not judging (well I guess I am) but I'm still sending my kids to these things so I guess I'm not really judging.

And if you say "this never happens", I'd encourage you to dig deeper.
My daughter was at a 10th grade girls-only pool party yesterday afternoon and I thought I knew the mom.
I never would have even thought to ask my kid "was there alcohol at this girls-only (no boys were there) afternoon pool party?
I mean, huh?
And yet there was!! She served the kids hard seltzer.

What have you seen? Appreciate any perspectives.
Thanks you much.

You are giving very identifying information so low class.

OP, good for you. That is sickening behavior. What moronic parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private schools tend to draw a more cosmopolitan, international crowd that understands there’s nothing wrong with teenagers drinking like they do abroad.

There was always a designated driver at parties in Europe. That person was determined ahead of time and didn’t drink the night it was their turn to drive.

This was for suburban/urban kids who had access to cars.

A bit older, university etc, they walked, taxied or took public transit. Not so car dependent and not driving drunk.

[Anonymous]

It isn’t just about the driving, unfortunately. It is about so much more, drug and alcohol poisoning, addiction and psychosis (brought about by drugs).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parents present at these parties? Just from a liability perspective, I'm flabbergasted. Especially with so many of the parents being lawyers. I know these parties do exist and it makes me sad. Why on earth are people encouraging their much to young teenagers to be drinking? Study after study shows how dangerous drinking in highschool is both in the short and long term.

Is this born out of a need for the parents to feel cool? Parents who provide alcohol to minors please explain your though process. I'm a parent who will call the cops on one of these parties. It's just fundamentally wrong on so many levels to be serving 14 to 18 year old alcohol.

OP here.
YES!!! They are hosting the parties, with ice buckets on the patio and are handing the kids drinks.
This is not basement drinking or the sort.
None of these families are Europeans so please don't derail the thread with that line of thinking. Ironically, if anyone is a "European" I am (immigrated as a very young child).

The pool party yesterday was for 10th grade girls. The mom served 16 year old girls hard seltzer from the side of their pool.

That is outrageous. That mom clearly has a problem - with the relationship she has with her daughter and/or with the insecurities her daughter must have in her friend group. My goodness … this is so trashy.

[Anonymous]

I bet OP feels like she can’t say anything to the mom / moron, which is why she is posting here. OP … prob too late to take your kid out of that school but maybe a different friend group? Do the other moms in your daughters friend group ask similarly?

[Anonymous]

I would lose my shit if my teenage daughter was at a party where alcohol was so blatantly being served. I went to a private school in the Midwest, and my friends and I drank lots in highschool, but we snuck around like normal people. My hunch is these parents are trying to be cool and hip, and they are dumb (so much liability).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:European who went to private here in the US.

I’ve been drinking wine since 13 and many of my friends were drinking in high school. I can extrapolate that to all private kids, but it tracks.

Be careful to avoid the trope about European attitudes about alcohol. It’s not like Europeans are more sophisticated about it or something. Binge drinking and problem drinking are huge problems in many places in Europe.

I've never seen someone from my country funneling beer flavored water through a hose. We also don't rape women after.

What country? European are very heavy drinkers with a higher percentage of alcoholics. There are many rapes and sexual assaults resulting from alcohol consumption in Europe. Look at the statistics for sexual assault during Oktoberfest in Germany, last Friday before Christmas in the UK, etc. All these European countries have the same problems.

How about this is Spain.

A new survey has revealed Spaniards’ attitudes toward sexual violence against women. According to the results, half of Spanish men and 45.6% of Spanish women believe that rape “often” happens because of alcohol consumption, and that this makes the attackers less to blame. Indeed, 15% believe the victim is partly at fault for “having lost control” if she is drunk.

https://english.elpais.com/elpais/2018/06/06/inenglish/1528277051_276793.html

Yes everything is fine in Europe. It just those Americans who have a problem with drinking.