Why do people overlook the advantages in dating if you go to a top school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume it's much more likely my kids will marry someone they meet in grad school. That is the case for most of my friends who didn't meet through work or some post -college social activity. I don't know that many people who married someone from undergrad.

I saw people meeting in undergrad and staying together through grad/professional schools to be married in their late 20's or early 30's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh sweetie….women don’t marry the guys they meet in college these days. They marry the ones they meet in law/med/ business/ graduate school.

No doctor wants to marry another doctor. We like to marry people with more flexible schedules.

This is practical wisdom for a balanced family life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? Half the kids at my child’s private school have dual physician parents.

That's because of proximity, not necessarily by preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh sweetie….women don’t marry the guys they meet in college these days. They marry the ones they meet in law/med/ business/ graduate school.

Except, not everyone goes to law, business, grad school.

Right, low-earning do-gooders don’t.

Plenty of people make good money without grad school.

Grad school isn't just for making money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it is sexist and old fashioned.

Most of us expect our kids to have serious careers, and plenty of time to partner off after college.

And most intelligent men want their wives to have serious careers, too. It's not the 1960s anymore.

Getting serious with someone doesn't mean abandoning your career. As you said it isn't the 1960s anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it is sexist and old fashioned.

Most of us expect our kids to have serious careers, and plenty of time to partner off after college.

And most intelligent men want their wives to have serious careers, too. It's not the 1960s anymore.

No - otherwise hbs alumnae wouldn’t quit working at higher rates than lower tier b school alumnae

Intelligent men want intelligent wives

If they choose to have careers or not is only part of the package.

Ie going to hbs is the signal , not actually using the hbs degree for the next 20 years

Re: the bold above, source and actual stats, please. The interior of your own cobwebbed brain does not count as a "source."

https://www.cnbc.com/2013/04/12/ivyleague-education-makes-moms-more-likely-to-stay-home.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it is sexist and old fashioned.

Most of us expect our kids to have serious careers, and plenty of time to partner off after college.

And most intelligent men want their wives to have serious careers, too. It's not the 1960s anymore.

No - otherwise hbs alumnae wouldn’t quit working at higher rates than lower tier b school alumnae

Intelligent men want intelligent wives

If they choose to have careers or not is only part of the package.

Ie going to hbs is the signal , not actually using the hbs degree for the next 20 years

This is often true as ambitious men AND women who want career and family, often pair up with as intelligent but chill peers. It makes family life easier to manage and decreases odds of marital discord and divorce.

[Anonymous]

The average age of marriage in the US is 27 for women and 29 for men. The average age increases as you go up in the educational scale (i.e., people with graduate degrees marry later than people with bachelors' degrees, who marry later than high school grads).

So, people with college degrees or higher are not typically marrying their college classmates. They're marrying people they meet once they start their working careers.

I can only think of one or two married couples I know who met their spouses in college. College grads aren't picking their spouses at age 22.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it is sexist and old fashioned.

Most of us expect our kids to have serious careers, and plenty of time to partner off after college.

And most intelligent men want their wives to have serious careers, too. It's not the 1960s anymore.

No - otherwise hbs alumnae wouldn’t quit working at higher rates than lower tier b school alumnae

Intelligent men want intelligent wives

If they choose to have careers or not is only part of the package.

Ie going to hbs is the signal , not actually using the hbs degree for the next 20 years

This is often true as ambitious men AND women who want career and family, often pair up with as intelligent but chill peers. It makes family life easier to manage and decreases odds of marital discord and divorce.

Yep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the age of assortative mating, most high achievers want a spouse who went to a top school (even if they’ll end up being a SAHP). Going to a top school and then attending alumni clubs in big cities is a GREAT way to meet an elite spouse.

You are an idiot

[Anonymous]

I went to an Ivy and none of my friends married someone from our school. I did marry someone I met in law school. Another friend married a man she met going through their medical residency. Another friend married a coworker she met at their top consulting firm a year or so after college. I'm sure our undergrad education helped us all get to the points where we did meet our spouses but I know very few couples who met as undergrads.

[Anonymous]

The type of person who checks a potential partner's educational resume is creepy and weird.

The reality of it is that people tend to marry based on educational and professional levels. They just naturally tend to end up with people who are similarly situated in life. But I don't know any people who cared where their future spouse went to college or graduate/professional school.

Are there really people like that out there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many guys are not ready for relationships that lead to marriage either in college or just after leaving college. If I told my DD to pursue someone like this, I'd just be setting her up to be a long term girl friend who gets dumped just when the guy realizes what he really wants in a marriage.

High earning men who went to a top schools aren’t settling down until their 30s, and if and when they are, it’s with a woman in her 20s.

Which is a recipe to end up with gold diggers.

(shrug) she wants money, he wants youth and hotness, this is a successful recipe as old as time.

Successful? Not according to the misery scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it is sexist and old fashioned.

Most of us expect our kids to have serious careers, and plenty of time to partner off after college.

And most intelligent men want their wives to have serious careers, too. It's not the 1960s anymore.

No - otherwise hbs alumnae wouldn’t quit working at higher rates than lower tier b school alumnae

Intelligent men want intelligent wives

If they choose to have careers or not is only part of the package.

Ie going to hbs is the signal , not actually using the hbs degree for the next 20 years

Re: the bold above, source and actual stats, please. The interior of your own cobwebbed brain does not count as a "source."

https://www.cnbc.com/2013/04/12/ivyleague-education-makes-moms-more-likely-to-stay-home.html

Well duh. It is a luxury for an adult to earn no money, yet still have food and a roof over their head. The other adult has to be pretty high earning to support that choice.

Having said tgaty, the difference between 70% and 80% is not huge.

[Anonymous]

I hope my child finds a kind, respectful, smart partner and together they have enough vision and ambition to build a great life.

Personally I think coming from family money (particularly if the parents are over-invested in their kid "marrying well") can be more of a negative than a positive.