Do you find it alluring if a man orders for you at a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

I like to be controlled in the bedroom, not outside of it.

Question for the women who said they would like the man ordering, do you find that you prefer for male/female gender roles in general? Absolutely no judgement from me, I'm just curious if it falls in line with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female here. I once suggested an ethnic restaurant and know the language, so I ordered for both of us. I thought maybe he’d like the touch of the special dishes I was able to order. Instead he seemed uncomfortable, and of course I ended up paying, not only the bill but also the relationship fizzled from there. I think many people just want to pick out what they want without interference. (But dang wouldn’t it be great if the guy was like - that was hot rather than feeling emasculated by this.)

He probably didn't like what you ordered. Pretty tacky to order for another without discussing it beforehand as it shows a lack of consideration & respect for the victim.

[Anonymous]

I don't mind this if I've been asked what I want first. I also don't mind if a man chooses the wine selection. I don't have a lot modifications to make to my order. If I did, I would not want someone ordering for me. I'm GenX.

[Anonymous]

I would only be OK with this only if I wasn't familiar with the restaurant (and he was) and he adhered to my preferences (i.e., vegan).

[Anonymous]

I love it.
I also changed my first AND last names to my husband's when I got married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
One man with whom I had a relationship ordered for me the first time we went to a restaurant.; he asked if I would mind his ordering, with my telling him what I wanted. I told him, he suggested we add a particular appetizer, and then he ordered. We were at a restaurant where they knew him and were clearly extra attentive because of that, and it was frankly attractive to watch him act with such easy confidence. When we next ate out, I was going to pay, and I said I would like to order for us both. It became a thing between us, with the one paying being the one who ordered, and we both enjoyed a bit of showing off as we did it, and joked about it.

This is utterly baffling behavior to me. Why did he want to order for both of you? And why did that demonstrate "easy confidence?" It's a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch. I've never been to a restaurant with anyone who didn't have the "easy confidence" to place an order. Unless the bill of fare is in Uzbeki, your average American adult should be able to handle this competently.

If you find it offensive at its core, you won't get this aspect of ordering for someone else, and that's just fine. But this is, for those of us who liked it being done, not at all about whether we are "competent" enough to order food off a menu. Of course we are. We do, almost all the time. This is about some couples finding it a bit spoiling and old-fashioned. As for easy confidence, well, you'd have to know the man involved; it was indeed attractive to me. It wouldn't have been to you. As another PP posted above, it depends on the person and the circumstances.

And "Its a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch" rather misses the point. That's seeing ordering as very functional and mundane, which usually it is. But i"m not talking above about ordering an average meal in a regular restaurant on any old night with a date I've just met.

You don't find it weird that someone else would know what you like better than what you would like?
Or maybe we see chosing as fundamentally different, e.g. sparing you the pain of reading the menu?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
One man with whom I had a relationship ordered for me the first time we went to a restaurant.; he asked if I would mind his ordering, with my telling him what I wanted. I told him, he suggested we add a particular appetizer, and then he ordered. We were at a restaurant where they knew him and were clearly extra attentive because of that, and it was frankly attractive to watch him act with such easy confidence. When we next ate out, I was going to pay, and I said I would like to order for us both. It became a thing between us, with the one paying being the one who ordered, and we both enjoyed a bit of showing off as we did it, and joked about it.

This is utterly baffling behavior to me. Why did he want to order for both of you? And why did that demonstrate "easy confidence?" It's a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch. I've never been to a restaurant with anyone who didn't have the "easy confidence" to place an order. Unless the bill of fare is in Uzbeki, your average American adult should be able to handle this competently.

If you find it offensive at its core, you won't get this aspect of ordering for someone else, and that's just fine. But this is, for those of us who liked it being done, not at all about whether we are "competent" enough to order food off a menu. Of course we are. We do, almost all the time. This is about some couples finding it a bit spoiling and old-fashioned. As for easy confidence, well, you'd have to know the man involved; it was indeed attractive to me. It wouldn't have been to you. As another PP posted above, it depends on the person and the circumstances.

And "Its a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch" rather misses the point. That's seeing ordering as very functional and mundane, which usually it is. But i"m not talking above about ordering an average meal in a regular restaurant on any old night with a date I've just met.

You don't find it weird that someone else would know what you like better than what you would like?
Or maybe we see chosing as fundamentally different, e.g. sparing you the pain of reading the menu?

He isn’t choosing your meal when he orders for you.
He is conveying your choice to the waiter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
One man with whom I had a relationship ordered for me the first time we went to a restaurant.; he asked if I would mind his ordering, with my telling him what I wanted. I told him, he suggested we add a particular appetizer, and then he ordered. We were at a restaurant where they knew him and were clearly extra attentive because of that, and it was frankly attractive to watch him act with such easy confidence. When we next ate out, I was going to pay, and I said I would like to order for us both. It became a thing between us, with the one paying being the one who ordered, and we both enjoyed a bit of showing off as we did it, and joked about it.

This is utterly baffling behavior to me. Why did he want to order for both of you? And why did that demonstrate "easy confidence?" It's a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch. I've never been to a restaurant with anyone who didn't have the "easy confidence" to place an order. Unless the bill of fare is in Uzbeki, your average American adult should be able to handle this competently.

If you find it offensive at its core, you won't get this aspect of ordering for someone else, and that's just fine. But this is, for those of us who liked it being done, not at all about whether we are "competent" enough to order food off a menu. Of course we are. We do, almost all the time. This is about some couples finding it a bit spoiling and old-fashioned. As for easy confidence, well, you'd have to know the man involved; it was indeed attractive to me. It wouldn't have been to you. As another PP posted above, it depends on the person and the circumstances.

And "Its a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch" rather misses the point. That's seeing ordering as very functional and mundane, which usually it is. But i"m not talking above about ordering an average meal in a regular restaurant on any old night with a date I've just met.

Pray tell, what was so special about this restaurant? French Laundry-level expense? In a foreign country where you don't speak the language? Did he cut your food for you as well, and spoon it into your mouth? Did he tell you if you were a really good girl and ate all your vegetables, you'd get a yummy dessert?

Strange how invested you are in insulting, at a hysterical fever pitch, a total stranger who has different experiences from your own. You seem quite angry that I might do something you would choose not to do. Did I offend all of womankind by not screaming that I must order for myself or the world would end? Or perhaps you're upset that I indicated we ate at a place that was not average enough for you.

And you missed the part in my first post where I noted that when we went out and I paid, I ordered for us both, after he did it the first time, when he paid. We actually both had senses of humor, and weren't touchy and easily triggered like you apparently are. Grown-ups, you see.

Plenty of yummy desserts all around, thank you for asking.

I'm not hysterical. I just think you and this dude sound weird and pretentious AF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like to be controlled in the bedroom, not outside of it.

Question for the women who said they would like the man ordering, do you find that you prefer for male/female gender roles in general? Absolutely no judgement from me, I'm just curious if it falls in line with that.

I'm a man, but I'm going to guess that the women who like this kind of thing are a subset of women who are fans of old timey gender roles. (Although, I think even some of them won't think that the guy ordering is anything we need to hang onto.) Women who favor more equal gender roles are mostly going to find this kind of thing off-putting because it's completely unnecessary and call back to a time when women were second class citizens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That would demonstrate to me that he was way too conventional to be a good match (for me).

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like to be controlled in the bedroom, not outside of it.

Question for the women who said they would like the man ordering, do you find that you prefer for male/female gender roles in general? Absolutely no judgement from me, I'm just curious if it falls in line with that.

I like my husband ordering. I wouldn’t say that I prefer male/female gender roles in general. Someone mentioned a male co-worker ordering for her, and that’s completely inappropriate. But I do prefer male/female gender roles in the context of my romantic relationship with my spouse.

[Anonymous]

I love it!
But for that he'd need to be a real foodie, like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find this very sexy! Take charge! Of course, I will convey my order first -- but I like to be ordered "for". And sometimes ordered around

DH pulls this off very well. Especially the ordered around part. Love it when there are detailed instructions on what to wear or an outfit picked out.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but only if he is a native speaker - I have an accent so I prefer it to be “perfect” if you know what I mean!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he's more familiar with the cuisine and knows me/my taste well and I have asked him to choose for me: charming, delightful, I love not having to make decisions.

If he's conveying my order to waiter because it's easier or I had to step away: basic expectation of dining with someone, honestly.

Any other situations: I would hate that.

+1