Do you find it alluring if a man orders for you at a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
One man with whom I had a relationship ordered for me the first time we went to a restaurant.; he asked if I would mind his ordering, with my telling him what I wanted. I told him, he suggested we add a particular appetizer, and then he ordered. We were at a restaurant where they knew him and were clearly extra attentive because of that, and it was frankly attractive to watch him act with such easy confidence. When we next ate out, I was going to pay, and I said I would like to order for us both. It became a thing between us, with the one paying being the one who ordered, and we both enjoyed a bit of showing off as we did it, and joked about it.

This is utterly baffling behavior to me. Why did he want to order for both of you? And why did that demonstrate "easy confidence?" It's a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch. I've never been to a restaurant with anyone who didn't have the "easy confidence" to place an order. Unless the bill of fare is in Uzbeki, your average American adult should be able to handle this competently.

If you find it offensive at its core, you won't get this aspect of ordering for someone else, and that's just fine. But this is, for those of us who liked it being done, not at all about whether we are "competent" enough to order food off a menu. Of course we are. We do, almost all the time. This is about some couples finding it a bit spoiling and old-fashioned. As for easy confidence, well, you'd have to know the man involved; it was indeed attractive to me. It wouldn't have been to you. As another PP posted above, it depends on the person and the circumstances.

And "Its a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch" rather misses the point. That's seeing ordering as very functional and mundane, which usually it is. But i"m not talking above about ordering an average meal in a regular restaurant on any old night with a date I've just met.

You don't find it weird that someone else would know what you like better than what you would like?
Or maybe we see chosing as fundamentally different, e.g. sparing you the pain of reading the menu?

You did not read my first post, I see. If you did you'd know that he didn't choose my food. He suggested an appetizer but did not just order it without asking me.

Of course I read the menu for myself, but you want to make out that I'm...unable to read a menu? That would fit with your need to assume only an idiot would enjoy having someone else speak a few words to a waiter. Such a high-stakes, serious moment, right?

And you missed, or chose to ignore, that on other dates, I would order for us both. And ordered for him what he chose. We had fun with it. This thread seems to have quite a few posters who are humor-impaired, possibly due to being over-invested in feeling offended at what total strangers choose to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
One man with whom I had a relationship ordered for me the first time we went to a restaurant.; he asked if I would mind his ordering, with my telling him what I wanted. I told him, he suggested we add a particular appetizer, and then he ordered. We were at a restaurant where they knew him and were clearly extra attentive because of that, and it was frankly attractive to watch him act with such easy confidence. When we next ate out, I was going to pay, and I said I would like to order for us both. It became a thing between us, with the one paying being the one who ordered, and we both enjoyed a bit of showing off as we did it, and joked about it.

This is utterly baffling behavior to me. Why did he want to order for both of you? And why did that demonstrate "easy confidence?" It's a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch. I've never been to a restaurant with anyone who didn't have the "easy confidence" to place an order. Unless the bill of fare is in Uzbeki, your average American adult should be able to handle this competently.

If you find it offensive at its core, you won't get this aspect of ordering for someone else, and that's just fine. But this is, for those of us who liked it being done, not at all about whether we are "competent" enough to order food off a menu. Of course we are. We do, almost all the time. This is about some couples finding it a bit spoiling and old-fashioned. As for easy confidence, well, you'd have to know the man involved; it was indeed attractive to me. It wouldn't have been to you. As another PP posted above, it depends on the person and the circumstances.

And "Its a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch" rather misses the point. That's seeing ordering as very functional and mundane, which usually it is. But i"m not talking above about ordering an average meal in a regular restaurant on any old night with a date I've just met.

Pray tell, what was so special about this restaurant? French Laundry-level expense? In a foreign country where you don't speak the language? Did he cut your food for you as well, and spoon it into your mouth? Did he tell you if you were a really good girl and ate all your vegetables, you'd get a yummy dessert?

Strange how invested you are in insulting, at a hysterical fever pitch, a total stranger who has different experiences from your own. You seem quite angry that I might do something you would choose not to do. Did I offend all of womankind by not screaming that I must order for myself or the world would end? Or perhaps you're upset that I indicated we ate at a place that was not average enough for you.

And you missed the part in my first post where I noted that when we went out and I paid, I ordered for us both, after he did it the first time, when he paid. We actually both had senses of humor, and weren't touchy and easily triggered like you apparently are. Grown-ups, you see.

Plenty of yummy desserts all around, thank you for asking.

I'm not hysterical. I just think you and this dude sound weird and pretentious AF.

He was indeed a uniquely odd man. And we enjoyed being pretentious AF when we were out, since you seem to define pretentious as eating at very good restaurants and being old-fashioned about dates. He also treated wait staff excellently and tipped extremely well. Is that pretentious too? Ah well, I'm betting those wait staff were fine with it.

[Anonymous]

WHAT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to be controlled in the bedroom, not outside of it.

Question for the women who said they would like the man ordering, do you find that you prefer for male/female gender roles in general? Absolutely no judgement from me, I'm just curious if it falls in line with that.

I'm a man, but I'm going to guess that the women who like this kind of thing are a subset of women who are fans of old timey gender roles. (Although, I think even some of them won't think that the guy ordering is anything we need to hang onto.) Women who favor more equal gender roles are mostly going to find this kind of thing off-putting because it's completely unnecessary and call back to a time when women were second class citizens.

I like not having to order because I’m indecisive and anxious. I’m not much into traditional gender roles otherwise; I just find having someone (can be me or can be someone else) doing all the ordering makes the process less stressful for me. And I love living abroad when my friends and colleagues who take me out and order meals because I didn’t have to make decisions and got to try a lot of things I wouldn’t have been able to read in the menu anyway. These days I just ask my three year old if I can’t make up my mind. 😆

[Anonymous]

Only if he orders in a foreign language