Boyfriend didn't get me a v day gift

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems manipulative and cruel to agree to exchange gifts, accept someone’s gift, and not have anything in return. Dump him.

OP did not actually convey the actual conversation wih her bf which she claims is when he agreed to buy her anything.

Because it was probably something far more ambiguous.

OP: "I think it is important to give gifts to each other on VD."

BF: "You do? That's cool."

OP (window shopping w BF): "Wow thats a beautiful necklace. I think I would look great in that! Do you think its too exoensive?"

BF: "Yes I am sure it would look great on you. I am surenit would be worth every penny."

OP (thinking to herself) :"Hooray, BF promised to get me that expensive necklace for VD!!!"

Why is so hard to believe that the situation went exactly as OP described it, that HE brought it up, said they could exchange gifts if it was important to her, then asked her for ideas. He literally asked her for ideas of what to get her, and then not only ignored those ideas but the entire thing all together. Seems cruel to me. It's awkward, that first Valentine's Day with a new boyfriend or girlfriend. What a great way to keep that from happening! Be all transparent! So you go into the day feeling good because you avoided all the weirdness! And then not so much. How nasty.

It is hard to believe we have the full story because OP deliberately left out what she asked her bf to get her for VD.

Did she ask him for a sweater too? A teddy bear? Or expensive jewelry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

+1. People have unrealistic expectations of their spouses and seem to confuse reality with a Hallmark movie. Life is busier and far more hectic than caring about a card. IF your spouse is understanding, treats you well, helps with the family, and provides comfort, you're good
The additional demands that many people make of their partners is just stupid. Women, stop trying to play the role of the princess. It's exhausting. We can do better than that.

The bitter MRA/incel/divorcee has entered the building!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems manipulative and cruel to agree to exchange gifts, accept someone’s gift, and not have anything in return. Dump him.

OP did not actually convey the actual conversation wih her bf which she claims is when he agreed to buy her anything.

Because it was probably something far more ambiguous.

OP: "I think it is important to give gifts to each other on VD."

BF: "You do? That's cool."

OP (window shopping w BF): "Wow thats a beautiful necklace. I think I would look great in that! Do you think its too exoensive?"

BF: "Yes I am sure it would look great on you. I am surenit would be worth every penny."

OP (thinking to herself) :"Hooray, BF promised to get me that expensive necklace for VD!!!"

Why is so hard to believe that the situation went exactly as OP described it, that HE brought it up, said they could exchange gifts if it was important to her, then asked her for ideas. He literally asked her for ideas of what to get her, and then not only ignored those ideas but the entire thing all together. Seems cruel to me. It's awkward, that first Valentine's Day with a new boyfriend or girlfriend. What a great way to keep that from happening! Be all transparent! So you go into the day feeling good because you avoided all the weirdness! And then not so much. How nasty.

It is hard to believe we have the full story because OP deliberately left out what she asked her bf to get her for VD.

Did she ask him for a sweater too? A teddy bear? Or expensive jewelry?

I mean, regardless of what she suggested, getting her nothing and providing no explanation is a massive red flag

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems manipulative and cruel to agree to exchange gifts, accept someone’s gift, and not have anything in return. Dump him.

OP did not actually convey the actual conversation wih her bf which she claims is when he agreed to buy her anything.

Because it was probably something far more ambiguous.

OP: "I think it is important to give gifts to each other on VD."

BF: "You do? That's cool."

OP (window shopping w BF): "Wow thats a beautiful necklace. I think I would look great in that! Do you think its too exoensive?"

BF: "Yes I am sure it would look great on you. I am surenit would be worth every penny."

OP (thinking to herself) :"Hooray, BF promised to get me that expensive necklace for VD!!!"

Why is so hard to believe that the situation went exactly as OP described it, that HE brought it up, said they could exchange gifts if it was important to her, then asked her for ideas. He literally asked her for ideas of what to get her, and then not only ignored those ideas but the entire thing all together. Seems cruel to me. It's awkward, that first Valentine's Day with a new boyfriend or girlfriend. What a great way to keep that from happening! Be all transparent! So you go into the day feeling good because you avoided all the weirdness! And then not so much. How nasty.

It is hard to believe we have the full story because OP deliberately left out what she asked her bf to get her for VD.

Did she ask him for a sweater too? A teddy bear? Or expensive jewelry?

Love the repeated suggestion of a teddy bear as something an adult woman would request as a gift. Who even are the people in these threads??

[Anonymous]

Why do women give their boyfriends valentines gifts? I have dated plenty of men and have always only received gifts for that day. Is this an American thing? Women giving presents on a romance holiday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

She's not crying over the cake. She's crying because her DH can't even do the most basic thing to make her feel special on her 40th birthday. It feels bad to tell someone "this is what I need from you to feel good about our relationship" and have them ignore it.

Ok I want to say you kind of moved the goalposts a bit there, but I will roll with it.

So it's not about the cake, your friend cried because she did not feel "special" on her 40th birthday, and decided her husband was to blame.

That is even worse. At least I can understand feeling disappointed (but not bursting into tears) if you wanted a piece of yummy unhealthy cake and did not get it. I have a huge sweet tooth myself.

But, no, your friend turning age 40 does not signify she is "special" in any way. She did not accomplish anything. She did not get a promotion at work. She did not get her masters degree summa cum laude.

She just got one day older. That happens to everyone everyday they are alive.

What about your friend do you think is so special aside from her self centered neediness and complete lack of perspective and lack of maturity?

Has it occurred to you that her spouse has put up with this ridiculousness for years and does not wish to enable any more of it?

YOU go buy her a cake Honey and the two of you can both cram it down and be "soecial" and insulin-intolerant together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems manipulative and cruel to agree to exchange gifts, accept someone’s gift, and not have anything in return. Dump him.

OP did not actually convey the actual conversation wih her bf which she claims is when he agreed to buy her anything.

Because it was probably something far more ambiguous.

OP: "I think it is important to give gifts to each other on VD."

BF: "You do? That's cool."

OP (window shopping w BF): "Wow thats a beautiful necklace. I think I would look great in that! Do you think its too exoensive?"

BF: "Yes I am sure it would look great on you. I am surenit would be worth every penny."

OP (thinking to herself) :"Hooray, BF promised to get me that expensive necklace for VD!!!"

Why is so hard to believe that the situation went exactly as OP described it, that HE brought it up, said they could exchange gifts if it was important to her, then asked her for ideas. He literally asked her for ideas of what to get her, and then not only ignored those ideas but the entire thing all together. Seems cruel to me. It's awkward, that first Valentine's Day with a new boyfriend or girlfriend. What a great way to keep that from happening! Be all transparent! So you go into the day feeling good because you avoided all the weirdness! And then not so much. How nasty.

It is hard to believe we have the full story because OP deliberately left out what she asked her bf to get her for VD.

Did she ask him for a sweater too? A teddy bear? Or expensive jewelry?

I mean, regardless of what she suggested, getting her nothing and providing no explanation is a massive red flag

1. OP posted what he asked for. So she needs to post what she asked for so we can see if it is proportionate to a sweater.

2. OP did not say that she ever asked him why he bought her nothing or if so, what he told her. She needs to post that too. If she did not ask why, that is on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems manipulative and cruel to agree to exchange gifts, accept someone’s gift, and not have anything in return. Dump him.

OP did not actually convey the actual conversation wih her bf which she claims is when he agreed to buy her anything.

Because it was probably something far more ambiguous.

OP: "I think it is important to give gifts to each other on VD."

BF: "You do? That's cool."

OP (window shopping w BF): "Wow thats a beautiful necklace. I think I would look great in that! Do you think its too exoensive?"

BF: "Yes I am sure it would look great on you. I am surenit would be worth every penny."

OP (thinking to herself) :"Hooray, BF promised to get me that expensive necklace for VD!!!"

Why is so hard to believe that the situation went exactly as OP described it, that HE brought it up, said they could exchange gifts if it was important to her, then asked her for ideas. He literally asked her for ideas of what to get her, and then not only ignored those ideas but the entire thing all together. Seems cruel to me. It's awkward, that first Valentine's Day with a new boyfriend or girlfriend. What a great way to keep that from happening! Be all transparent! So you go into the day feeling good because you avoided all the weirdness! And then not so much. How nasty.

It is hard to believe we have the full story because OP deliberately left out what she asked her bf to get her for VD.

Did she ask him for a sweater too? A teddy bear? Or expensive jewelry?

Love the repeated suggestion of a teddy bear as something an adult woman would request as a gift. Who even are the people in these threads??

Right because the whole point of this is to angle for expensive jewelry. We all know that.

But OP should tell us whether she asked for a teddy bear, jewelry, or something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do women give their boyfriends valentines gifts? I have dated plenty of men and have always only received gifts for that day. Is this an American thing? Women giving presents on a romance holiday?

Did you have hot sex with him on Valentines Day? That was your gift to him. Thats why he gave you a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

Do you think it's about the cake? Be honest.

I thought it was about a cake. What is
it about? About not being treated like a 7 year old child by a doting father?

She certainly behaved like a small child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

She's not crying over the cake. She's crying because her DH can't even do the most basic thing to make her feel special on her 40th birthday. It feels bad to tell someone "this is what I need from you to feel good about our relationship" and have them ignore it.

Ok I want to say you kind of moved the goalposts a bit there, but I will roll with it.

So it's not about the cake, your friend cried because she did not feel "special" on her 40th birthday, and decided her husband was to blame.

That is even worse. At least I can understand feeling disappointed (but not bursting into tears) if you wanted a piece of yummy unhealthy cake and did not get it. I have a huge sweet tooth myself.

But, no, your friend turning age 40 does not signify she is "special" in any way. She did not accomplish anything. She did not get a promotion at work. She did not get her masters degree summa cum laude.

She just got one day older. That happens to everyone everyday they are alive.

What about your friend do you think is so special aside from her self centered neediness and complete lack of perspective and lack of maturity?

Has it occurred to you that her spouse has put up with this ridiculousness for years and does not wish to enable any more of it?

YOU go buy her a cake Honey and the two of you can both cram it down and be "soecial" and insulin-intolerant together.

Yes how "ridiculous" to expect a birthday cake on your birthday. Her husband is truly a saint for putting up with such madness, as are all men. I'm sure your future wife, the brilliant lingerie model who loves daily sex and hates when you help with household chores, would never expect such a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

+1. People have unrealistic expectations of their spouses and seem to confuse reality with a Hallmark movie. Life is busier and far more hectic than caring about a card. IF your spouse is understanding, treats you well, helps with the family, and provides comfort, you're good
The additional demands that many people make of their partners is just stupid. Women, stop trying to play the role of the princess. It's exhausting. We can do better than that.

Seriously? You think a cake on her 40th bday is an unreasonable demand? Why even be in a relationship with someone if you don't care about how they feel?

Caring about someones feelings does not mean you enable their immaturity.

It does not mean you allow them to leverage their insecurities and the relationship to manipulate you.

Caring about someone means you set healthy boundaries, even if it is for a 40 year old woman who throws a childish tantrum because her husband treated her like a adult, and not the pampered child she wishes to be.

[Anonymous]

Love Valentines day.

Just buy candy and dinner, you most likely will have sex.

I wish Valentines day occurs every month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems manipulative and cruel to agree to exchange gifts, accept someone’s gift, and not have anything in return. Dump him.

OP did not actually convey the actual conversation wih her bf which she claims is when he agreed to buy her anything.

Because it was probably something far more ambiguous.

OP: "I think it is important to give gifts to each other on VD."

BF: "You do? That's cool."

OP (window shopping w BF): "Wow thats a beautiful necklace. I think I would look great in that! Do you think its too exoensive?"

BF: "Yes I am sure it would look great on you. I am surenit would be worth every penny."

OP (thinking to herself) :"Hooray, BF promised to get me that expensive necklace for VD!!!"

Why is so hard to believe that the situation went exactly as OP described it, that HE brought it up, said they could exchange gifts if it was important to her, then asked her for ideas. He literally asked her for ideas of what to get her, and then not only ignored those ideas but the entire thing all together. Seems cruel to me. It's awkward, that first Valentine's Day with a new boyfriend or girlfriend. What a great way to keep that from happening! Be all transparent! So you go into the day feeling good because you avoided all the weirdness! And then not so much. How nasty.

BC her version makes no sense.

This. If she hadn't told us that HE brought it up, I would have believed it. But why would he bring it up, and then do nothing!? Is he a sociopath?

[Anonymous]

Unless OP comes back and lets us know what exactly she asked for, it is hard to come to any conclusions. If it was something reasonable, say under $50, he's probably a jerk. If you asked for something extravagant, he is probably turned off and didn't feel like getting you anything at all. Either way, this does not bode well for the future of this relationship.