Boyfriend didn't get me a v day gift

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

She's not crying over the cake. She's crying because her DH can't even do the most basic thing to make her feel special on her 40th birthday. It feels bad to tell someone "this is what I need from you to feel good about our relationship" and have them ignore it.

Ok I want to say you kind of moved the goalposts a bit there, but I will roll with it.

So it's not about the cake, your friend cried because she did not feel "special" on her 40th birthday, and decided her husband was to blame.

That is even worse. At least I can understand feeling disappointed (but not bursting into tears) if you wanted a piece of yummy unhealthy cake and did not get it. I have a huge sweet tooth myself.

But, no, your friend turning age 40 does not signify she is "special" in any way. She did not accomplish anything. She did not get a promotion at work. She did not get her masters degree summa cum laude.

She just got one day older. That happens to everyone everyday they are alive.

What about your friend do you think is so special aside from her self centered neediness and complete lack of perspective and lack of maturity?

Has it occurred to you that her spouse has put up with this ridiculousness for years and does not wish to enable any more of it?

YOU go buy her a cake Honey and the two of you can both cram it down and be "soecial" and insulin-intolerant together.

Yes how "ridiculous" to expect a birthday cake on your birthday. Her husband is truly a saint for putting up with such madness, as are all men. I'm sure your future wife, the brilliant lingerie model who loves daily sex and hates when you help with household chores, would never expect such a thing.

I am sorry. Werent we talking about a 40 year old woman? Who literally threw a temper tantrum over not getting some cake?

Yes, that is completely ridiculous behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

+1. People have unrealistic expectations of their spouses and seem to confuse reality with a Hallmark movie. Life is busier and far more hectic than caring about a card. IF your spouse is understanding, treats you well, helps with the family, and provides comfort, you're good
The additional demands that many people make of their partners is just stupid. Women, stop trying to play the role of the princess. It's exhausting. We can do better than that.

Seriously? You think a cake on her 40th bday is an unreasonable demand? Why even be in a relationship with someone if you don't care about how they feel?

Caring about someones feelings does not mean you enable their immaturity.

It does not mean you allow them to leverage their insecurities and the relationship to manipulate you.

Caring about someone means you set healthy boundaries, even if it is for a 40 year old woman who throws a childish tantrum because her husband treated her like a adult, and not the pampered child she wishes to be.

Trolls not fans of cake, noted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

+1. People have unrealistic expectations of their spouses and seem to confuse reality with a Hallmark movie. Life is busier and far more hectic than caring about a card. IF your spouse is understanding, treats you well, helps with the family, and provides comfort, you're good
The additional demands that many people make of their partners is just stupid. Women, stop trying to play the role of the princess. It's exhausting. We can do better than that.

The bitter MRA/incel/divorcee has entered the building!

Dude, I'm PP. I've been happily married for 16 years with my DH. Why? Because I don't make my DH do stupid crap. I don't cry if I didn't get flowers. I don't throw a fit if he doesn't buy cake or chocolate. I care if DH takes care of the kids, helps support the family, and is a good partner. I reciprocate evenly. The crap women do to men in relationships now is just stupid. My SIL throws a fit if my brother doesn't remember to make her a tea and snack every night. Why? Because that's what men do and she can't do it herself. She also has to be driven to and picked up from the airport with him parking and carrying her luggage in. Even after being on call for 18 hrs. It's so ridiculous, and their marriage is failing.

If you're going to cry over being pampered, you can expect your partner to have one foot out the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend of 7 months didn't get me a Valentine's gift. I gave him a nice sweater and he gave me nada. We spoke about this ahead of time. I told him celebrating was important to me, we agreed to exchange gifts and nothing. We are happy outside of this. Long term this would bother me. Is this a stupid reason to break up?

If he knew it was important to you and did nothing, you have a reason to be upset. Regardless of whether or not someone else cares about Valentine's Day, you voiced your expectation and he ignored it. Only you can decide if it's worth breaking up with him. Personally, I don't want to be in a relationship with a person who doesn't listen to me when I tell him something is important. Grabbing flowers on his way home is a pretty simple thing to do. It's still a fairly new relationship so if he's already stopped trying to impress you or be on his best behavior, I certainly wouldn't expect it to improve. He's showing you who he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

+1. People have unrealistic expectations of their spouses and seem to confuse reality with a Hallmark movie. Life is busier and far more hectic than caring about a card. IF your spouse is understanding, treats you well, helps with the family, and provides comfort, you're good
The additional demands that many people make of their partners is just stupid. Women, stop trying to play the role of the princess. It's exhausting. We can do better than that.

The bitter MRA/incel/divorcee has entered the building!

Dude, I'm PP. I've been happily married for 16 years with my DH. Why? Because I don't make my DH do stupid crap. I don't cry if I didn't get flowers. I don't throw a fit if he doesn't buy cake or chocolate. I care if DH takes care of the kids, helps support the family, and is a good partner. I reciprocate evenly. The crap women do to men in relationships now is just stupid. My SIL throws a fit if my brother doesn't remember to make her a tea and snack every night. Why? Because that's what men do and she can't do it herself. She also has to be driven to and picked up from the airport with him parking and carrying her luggage in. Even after being on call for 18 hrs. It's so ridiculous, and their marriage is failing.

If you're going to cry over being pampered, you can expect your partner to have one foot out the door.

DP

I think it’s weird to brag about your husband not doing anything for you. I’m sorry your husband doesn’t want to make you a cup of tea or drive you to the airport but you’re not going to get some kind of “cool girl” sticker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

+1. People have unrealistic expectations of their spouses and seem to confuse reality with a Hallmark movie. Life is busier and far more hectic than caring about a card. IF your spouse is understanding, treats you well, helps with the family, and provides comfort, you're good
The additional demands that many people make of their partners is just stupid. Women, stop trying to play the role of the princess. It's exhausting. We can do better than that.

The bitter MRA/incel/divorcee has entered the building!

Dude, I'm PP. I've been happily married for 16 years with my DH. Why? Because I don't make my DH do stupid crap. I don't cry if I didn't get flowers. I don't throw a fit if he doesn't buy cake or chocolate. I care if DH takes care of the kids, helps support the family, and is a good partner. I reciprocate evenly. The crap women do to men in relationships now is just stupid. My SIL throws a fit if my brother doesn't remember to make her a tea and snack every night. Why? Because that's what men do and she can't do it herself. She also has to be driven to and picked up from the airport with him parking and carrying her luggage in. Even after being on call for 18 hrs. It's so ridiculous, and their marriage is failing.

If you're going to cry over being pampered, you can expect your partner to have one foot out the door.

DP

I think it’s weird to brag about your husband not doing anything for you. I’m sorry your husband doesn’t want to make you a cup of tea or drive you to the airport but you’re not going to get some kind of “cool girl” sticker.

Are people on this thread purposefully daft or is it just a personality flaw? PP, you need to re-read the post, as the point was completely missed. I bet you're one of those divorce-boosters on DCUM. No wonder all you ladies are so GD miserable.

[Anonymous]

My first valentines day with my now-DH, then new bf, he gave me a book I had recently mentioned wanting to read. It cost like $10 and I was so touched that he remembered. He's a good husband and father day in and day out; not sure why people act like that's mutually exclusive to making a little extra effort on birthdays and "hallmark holidays." It doesn't have to be expensive jewelry or a fancy dinner (we were broke students at the time).

[Anonymous]

8 pages later - where is OP?

Not enough information.

I read this topic as originating from a 15 year old girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the whole Gifts Are My Love Language pop psych fad is ridiculous, but if he agreed ahead of time, then just blew it off, he’s telling you who he is and where his priorities are. Don’t waste any more time on him.

It's the rebranding of "golddigger."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

+1. People have unrealistic expectations of their spouses and seem to confuse reality with a Hallmark movie. Life is busier and far more hectic than caring about a card. IF your spouse is understanding, treats you well, helps with the family, and provides comfort, you're good
The additional demands that many people make of their partners is just stupid. Women, stop trying to play the role of the princess. It's exhausting. We can do better than that.

The bitter MRA/incel/divorcee has entered the building!

Dude, I'm PP. I've been happily married for 16 years with my DH. Why? Because I don't make my DH do stupid crap. I don't cry if I didn't get flowers. I don't throw a fit if he doesn't buy cake or chocolate. I care if DH takes care of the kids, helps support the family, and is a good partner. I reciprocate evenly. The crap women do to men in relationships now is just stupid. My SIL throws a fit if my brother doesn't remember to make her a tea and snack every night. Why? Because that's what men do and she can't do it herself. She also has to be driven to and picked up from the airport with him parking and carrying her luggage in. Even after being on call for 18 hrs. It's so ridiculous, and their marriage is failing.

If you're going to cry over being pampered, you can expect your partner to have one foot out the door.

DP

I think it’s weird to brag about your husband not doing anything for you. I’m sorry your husband doesn’t want to make you a cup of tea or drive you to the airport but you’re not going to get some kind of “cool girl” sticker.

Are people on this thread purposefully daft or is it just a personality flaw? PP, you need to re-read the post, as the point was completely missed. I bet you're one of those divorce-boosters on DCUM. No wonder all you ladies are so GD miserable.

Nope. Happily married to my grad school sweetheart. Who brings me coffee in the morning and tea before bed. I don’t think there’s some kind of prize for expecting less of our partners. It’s like women who say they served dinner the day they got home from the hospital or never asked their husband to wake up during the baby years— that’s not something to brag about. No one will give you a sticker for it. The woman who expects more— and chooses a partner who gives more— ends up happier even if she can’t disdain her SIL for (checks notes) being driven to the airport.

[Anonymous]

The issue is not about his non gift to her. It’s that OP a got him a sweater. Wtf 😳

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do women give their boyfriends valentines gifts? I have dated plenty of men and have always only received gifts for that day. Is this an American thing? Women giving presents on a romance holiday?

Did you have hot sex with him on Valentines Day? That was your gift to him. Thats why he gave you a gift.

Of course! But I’m not giving him a sweater or buying him anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

+1. People have unrealistic expectations of their spouses and seem to confuse reality with a Hallmark movie. Life is busier and far more hectic than caring about a card. IF your spouse is understanding, treats you well, helps with the family, and provides comfort, you're good
The additional demands that many people make of their partners is just stupid. Women, stop trying to play the role of the princess. It's exhausting. We can do better than that.

The bitter MRA/incel/divorcee has entered the building!

Dude, I'm PP. I've been happily married for 16 years with my DH. Why? Because I don't make my DH do stupid crap. I don't cry if I didn't get flowers. I don't throw a fit if he doesn't buy cake or chocolate. I care if DH takes care of the kids, helps support the family, and is a good partner. I reciprocate evenly. The crap women do to men in relationships now is just stupid. My SIL throws a fit if my brother doesn't remember to make her a tea and snack every night. Why? Because that's what men do and she can't do it herself. She also has to be driven to and picked up from the airport with him parking and carrying her luggage in. Even after being on call for 18 hrs. It's so ridiculous, and their marriage is failing.

If you're going to cry over being pampered, you can expect your partner to have one foot out the door.

DP

I think it’s weird to brag about your husband not doing anything for you. I’m sorry your husband doesn’t want to make you a cup of tea or drive you to the airport but you’re not going to get some kind of “cool girl” sticker.

Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, sh*t on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

-PP

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read the entire thread, but this is actually something that *can* be worked on if he’s willing to listen and is somewhat emotionally stable. I went through something similar with my partner and it was really hard for me. We talked about it in counseling because we wanted to work through it. It hasn’t been an issue since then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him. It won’t get any better. My good friend cried on her fortieth because she explicitly asked her DH for a simple cake and he couldn’t even do that, because he “doesn’t celebrate like that”. Don’t set yourself up for misery.

Only an infantile child cries because they didnt get a piece of cake for their birthday. Not a 40 year old person who claims to be an adult.

Is your friend overweight or obese? Be honest. If not, why is chowing down on unhealthy junk food somethingto cry over.

JFC of all the things for a 40 year old to cry over. There was an earthquake in Syria , thoisands killed. Cry over that.

+1. People have unrealistic expectations of their spouses and seem to confuse reality with a Hallmark movie. Life is busier and far more hectic than caring about a card. IF your spouse is understanding, treats you well, helps with the family, and provides comfort, you're good
The additional demands that many people make of their partners is just stupid. Women, stop trying to play the role of the princess. It's exhausting. We can do better than that.

The bitter MRA/incel/divorcee has entered the building!

Dude, I'm PP. I've been happily married for 16 years with my DH. Why? Because I don't make my DH do stupid crap. I don't cry if I didn't get flowers. I don't throw a fit if he doesn't buy cake or chocolate. I care if DH takes care of the kids, helps support the family, and is a good partner. I reciprocate evenly. The crap women do to men in relationships now is just stupid. My SIL throws a fit if my brother doesn't remember to make her a tea and snack every night. Why? Because that's what men do and she can't do it herself. She also has to be driven to and picked up from the airport with him parking and carrying her luggage in. Even after being on call for 18 hrs. It's so ridiculous, and their marriage is failing.

If you're going to cry over being pampered, you can expect your partner to have one foot out the door.

DP

I think it’s weird to brag about your husband not doing anything for you. I’m sorry your husband doesn’t want to make you a cup of tea or drive you to the airport but you’re not going to get some kind of “cool girl” sticker.

Are people on this thread purposefully daft or is it just a personality flaw? PP, you need to re-read the post, as the point was completely missed. I bet you're one of those divorce-boosters on DCUM. No wonder all you ladies are so GD miserable.

Nope. Happily married to my grad school sweetheart. Who brings me coffee in the morning and tea before bed. I don’t think there’s some kind of prize for expecting less of our partners. It’s like women who say they served dinner the day they got home from the hospital or never asked their husband to wake up during the baby years— that’s not something to brag about. No one will give you a sticker for it. The woman who expects more— and chooses a partner who gives more— ends up happier even if she can’t disdain her SIL for (checks notes) being driven to the airport.

Again, purposefully misreading the post - or perhaps you just don't read well. The point was not that my DH does not do anything for me. It's that I don't DEMAND it nor do I cry or throw fits if he does not buy flowers or chocolates. If you cannot see the difference, that is precisely the problem. Spouses who are demanding rarely have happy marriages. And if you demand that your spouse drive you to the airport at midnight after he has been on call for 18 hrs, you're an ass. Sorry, but you are.

I'm going to assume that you are a millennial or GenZ. That's usually where I see so much self absorbed behavior.