Check your phone at the door

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Because your children were in settings without you and without a phone at a much younger age. Now they are older and you believe they could be in a situation so uncomfortable that they need to be able to call you right away? Do you not see what's wrong with your thinking?

NP That's stupid and not true. I don't know anyone who let their kid go anywhere alone in the early elementary years, not even birthday parties (no parents hosting parties want that anyway). Once my kid was in upper elementary, it was ok as long as I knew the parents. Plus, he had an Apple watch that he could used to contact me in an emergency. I don't know anyone who let their young kid go wherever they wanted with people they hardly knew.

Wow, you must really live in a sheltered bubble. Nobody stays for birthday parties after kindergarten.

LOL, you are obviously "that" parent. The one the rest of the parents stood around shaking their heads at when you took off out of the driveway after dropping off your needy 6 year old at our party, forcing other parents to watch out for her the whole time. Did you return late for pick-up too? Cause there's always that one. I bet you didn't get a lot of invites, did you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Not pp, but it sounds like you need to get a handle on your anxiety and then try to cut the cord between you and your child. What kind of messaging are you sending the kid if danger lurks around every corner that they need to have a device within reach to call their mother when having it at a friend's house? That kind of anxiety is contagious and could either leave the kid incredibly nervous about life or rebelling against their tethered parent.

Oh ffs. I’m teaching her how to notice when people are not cool. Sex predators happen. Middle schoolers can be awful to one another emotionally and socially. She could get her period and not be prepared. Something minor and less extreme - she simply isn’t into being there and wants to head home. If she’s not into being there I don’t want her to have to run the gauntlet of a controlling parent that might not perceive the situation clearly. She’s learning how to be independent by keeping it in her pocket except for emergencies instead of not being trusted to use it judiciously. I trust my kid.

Most of these situations aren't even time-sensitive issues. You think you are showing your daughter that are there for, but you are really teaching her that she cannot handle very basic stuff without you. Someone might be mean to her in MS? She might get her period? I fear that you might actually be serious too.

NP It's called being a parent and taking care of your minor child. Not doing so only teaches your child that they can't rely on you for help when they need it. You sound like a pretty crappy parent.

The situation listed are minor everyday things which I trust that my kids are agile enough to figure out in the moment. If they are not, that's also a learning lesson on how to handle it in the future.

You guys are a mess. Your kids are going to messes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid would know to refuse and to call me.

You must not have teens. They are not calling mommy in front of their friends.

Not that poster but my teen would call or text.

I'm sure he would. He cannot be parted from his phone - he'd much rather stare at it than be forced to interact face-to-face with another person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Because your children were in settings without you and without a phone at a much younger age. Now they are older and you believe they could be in a situation so uncomfortable that they need to be able to call you right away? Do you not see what's wrong with your thinking?

NP That's stupid and not true. I don't know anyone who let their kid go anywhere alone in the early elementary years, not even birthday parties (no parents hosting parties want that anyway). Once my kid was in upper elementary, it was ok as long as I knew the parents. Plus, he had an Apple watch that he could used to contact me in an emergency. I don't know anyone who let their young kid go wherever they wanted with people they hardly knew.

Wow, you must really live in a sheltered bubble. Nobody stays for birthday parties after kindergarten.

LOL, you are obviously "that" parent. The one the rest of the parents stood around shaking their heads at when you took off out of the driveway after dropping off your needy 6 year old at our party, forcing other parents to watch out for her the whole time. Did you return late for pick-up too? Cause there's always that one. I bet you didn't get a lot of invites, did you.

You are hilarious. My kids are high schoolers. No parents stayed. Everything has changed in 10 years? Get out of here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Not pp, but it sounds like you need to get a handle on your anxiety and then try to cut the cord between you and your child. What kind of messaging are you sending the kid if danger lurks around every corner that they need to have a device within reach to call their mother when having it at a friend's house? That kind of anxiety is contagious and could either leave the kid incredibly nervous about life or rebelling against their tethered parent.

Oh ffs. I’m teaching her how to notice when people are not cool. Sex predators happen. Middle schoolers can be awful to one another emotionally and socially. She could get her period and not be prepared. Something minor and less extreme - she simply isn’t into being there and wants to head home. If she’s not into being there I don’t want her to have to run the gauntlet of a controlling parent that might not perceive the situation clearly. She’s learning how to be independent by keeping it in her pocket except for emergencies instead of not being trusted to use it judiciously. I trust my kid.

Most of these situations aren't even time-sensitive issues. You think you are showing your daughter that are there for, but you are really teaching her that she cannot handle very basic stuff without you. Someone might be mean to her in MS? She might get her period? I fear that you might actually be serious too.

NP It's called being a parent and taking care of your minor child. Not doing so only teaches your child that they can't rely on you for help when they need it. You sound like a pretty crappy parent.

DP. Yeah, but you sound like a terrible parent - a snowplow and helicopter parent combined.

You clearly don't even know what a helicopter parent is. It's an over-controlling authoritarian parent who punishes their child for mistakes. It's not a caring parent who takes care of their child. Worst kind of parent in the old helicopter study was the one who left the kid alone and ignored. Common misunderstanding among those who get their parenting advice from internet message boards and facebook posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Because your children were in settings without you and without a phone at a much younger age. Now they are older and you believe they could be in a situation so uncomfortable that they need to be able to call you right away? Do you not see what's wrong with your thinking?

NP That's stupid and not true. I don't know anyone who let their kid go anywhere alone in the early elementary years, not even birthday parties (no parents hosting parties want that anyway). Once my kid was in upper elementary, it was ok as long as I knew the parents. Plus, he had an Apple watch that he could used to contact me in an emergency. I don't know anyone who let their young kid go wherever they wanted with people they hardly knew.

Wow, you must really live in a sheltered bubble. Nobody stays for birthday parties after kindergarten.

LOL, you are obviously "that" parent. The one the rest of the parents stood around shaking their heads at when you took off out of the driveway after dropping off your needy 6 year old at our party, forcing other parents to watch out for her the whole time. Did you return late for pick-up too? Cause there's always that one. I bet you didn't get a lot of invites, did you.

You are hilarious. My kids are high schoolers. No parents stayed. Everything has changed in 10 years? Get out of here.

Seriously, you're the hilarious one. You had no idea, really, and thought that was ok. My kid is the same age as yours, and I promise you that you were not OK doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Not pp, but it sounds like you need to get a handle on your anxiety and then try to cut the cord between you and your child. What kind of messaging are you sending the kid if danger lurks around every corner that they need to have a device within reach to call their mother when having it at a friend's house? That kind of anxiety is contagious and could either leave the kid incredibly nervous about life or rebelling against their tethered parent.

Oh ffs. I’m teaching her how to notice when people are not cool. Sex predators happen. Middle schoolers can be awful to one another emotionally and socially. She could get her period and not be prepared. Something minor and less extreme - she simply isn’t into being there and wants to head home. If she’s not into being there I don’t want her to have to run the gauntlet of a controlling parent that might not perceive the situation clearly. She’s learning how to be independent by keeping it in her pocket except for emergencies instead of not being trusted to use it judiciously. I trust my kid.

Most of these situations aren't even time-sensitive issues. You think you are showing your daughter that are there for, but you are really teaching her that she cannot handle very basic stuff without you. Someone might be mean to her in MS? She might get her period? I fear that you might actually be serious too.

NP It's called being a parent and taking care of your minor child. Not doing so only teaches your child that they can't rely on you for help when they need it. You sound like a pretty crappy parent.

DP. Yeah, but you sound like a terrible parent - a snowplow and helicopter parent combined.

You clearly don't even know what a helicopter parent is. It's an over-controlling authoritarian parent who punishes their child for mistakes. It's not a caring parent who takes care of their child. Worst kind of parent in the old helicopter study was the one who left the kid alone and ignored. Common misunderstanding among those who get their parenting advice from internet message boards and facebook posts.

You're right, my mistake. Just a snowplow parent.

[Anonymous]

I'd love it if you enforced this rule at your house and got my kid to do it without much complaining! I could never, I'm too timid around my kid's friends. They'd be like "F*** off Jennifer" lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Because your children were in settings without you and without a phone at a much younger age. Now they are older and you believe they could be in a situation so uncomfortable that they need to be able to call you right away? Do you not see what's wrong with your thinking?

NP That's stupid and not true. I don't know anyone who let their kid go anywhere alone in the early elementary years, not even birthday parties (no parents hosting parties want that anyway). Once my kid was in upper elementary, it was ok as long as I knew the parents. Plus, he had an Apple watch that he could used to contact me in an emergency. I don't know anyone who let their young kid go wherever they wanted with people they hardly knew.

Wow, you must really live in a sheltered bubble. Nobody stays for birthday parties after kindergarten.

LOL, you are obviously "that" parent. The one the rest of the parents stood around shaking their heads at when you took off out of the driveway after dropping off your needy 6 year old at our party, forcing other parents to watch out for her the whole time. Did you return late for pick-up too? Cause there's always that one. I bet you didn't get a lot of invites, did you.

You are hilarious. My kids are high schoolers. No parents stayed. Everything has changed in 10 years? Get out of here.

Seriously, you're the hilarious one. You had no idea, really, and thought that was ok. My kid is the same age as yours, and I promise you that you were not OK doing that.

Like I said -- no parents attended.
So you were one of those parents who cannot separate your friends and your kids' friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

Agreed. Unless I was really close with the parents, I would be bothered by that. My kid has his phone mainly so I can reach him or he can reach me. I consider it a safety issue, and if a parent is taking it away then I'm concerned.

A basket by the front door that the kid can access at any time is not "taking it away".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

So ridiculous. 15 years ago, this wasn't possible. So helicoperty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Not pp, but it sounds like you need to get a handle on your anxiety and then try to cut the cord between you and your child. What kind of messaging are you sending the kid if danger lurks around every corner that they need to have a device within reach to call their mother when having it at a friend's house? That kind of anxiety is contagious and could either leave the kid incredibly nervous about life or rebelling against their tethered parent.

Oh ffs. I’m teaching her how to notice when people are not cool. Sex predators happen. Middle schoolers can be awful to one another emotionally and socially. She could get her period and not be prepared. Something minor and less extreme - she simply isn’t into being there and wants to head home. If she’s not into being there I don’t want her to have to run the gauntlet of a controlling parent that might not perceive the situation clearly. She’s learning how to be independent by keeping it in her pocket except for emergencies instead of not being trusted to use it judiciously. I trust my kid.

Most of these situations aren't even time-sensitive issues. You think you are showing your daughter that are there for, but you are really teaching her that she cannot handle very basic stuff without you. Someone might be mean to her in MS? She might get her period? I fear that you might actually be serious too.

NP It's called being a parent and taking care of your minor child. Not doing so only teaches your child that they can't rely on you for help when they need it. You sound like a pretty crappy parent.

The situation listed are minor everyday things which I trust that my kids are agile enough to figure out in the moment. If they are not, that's also a learning lesson on how to handle it in the future.

You guys are a mess. Your kids are going to messes.

Good lord, I hope my kids are capable enough to deal with these things on their own without having to call mom immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Not pp, but it sounds like you need to get a handle on your anxiety and then try to cut the cord between you and your child. What kind of messaging are you sending the kid if danger lurks around every corner that they need to have a device within reach to call their mother when having it at a friend's house? That kind of anxiety is contagious and could either leave the kid incredibly nervous about life or rebelling against their tethered parent.

Oh ffs. I’m teaching her how to notice when people are not cool. Sex predators happen. Middle schoolers can be awful to one another emotionally and socially. She could get her period and not be prepared. Something minor and less extreme - she simply isn’t into being there and wants to head home. If she’s not into being there I don’t want her to have to run the gauntlet of a controlling parent that might not perceive the situation clearly. She’s learning how to be independent by keeping it in her pocket except for emergencies instead of not being trusted to use it judiciously. I trust my kid.

You claim your kid is learning to be independent, but you insist that your teenager be able to contact you instantly at all times? Seriously? Oh dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

That's fine. Your rude kid doesn't need to come to my kid's house and stare at his phone here.

There is someone rude here but it's the person asking guests to not have their phones with them. That is not a request you get to make and can expect to be adhered to. That is a multiple hundred dollar device and if it's lost, destroyed, etc. I hope you're prepared to pay for a new one if you take it. And if I call or text and DC doesn't respond, which is primarily why she has one, that is also a problem.

I suggest you get over your control issues or don't invite people to your home. I am betting their not breaking down your doors anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

So ridiculous. 15 years ago, this wasn't possible. So helicoperty.

Did you walk 3 miles uphill in the snow with no boots, too? I don't give any F's what happened 15 years ago.