Check your phone at the door
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Anonymous
As a parent, I’ve been in situations with my teen where I’ve gotten a message to call them when they are at a party or an event, and my kid has picked up and then pretended that I called him and was making him come home early. Why? Once I don’t actually know, but I trust him that leaving was the right call. The other time it was because something triggered his asthma, still not sure what. Unfortunately, we have a safety issue in our family and I’ve also a situation where I needed to reach my teen instantly. So, I called him. I am not sure how any of those situations would have worked with his phone on a different floor. |
Anonymous
You have terrible logic. |
Anonymous
Keep digging in, weirdo |
Anonymous
You are setting your kid up for failure if the thought of him/her not having a phone for a few hours at a friend's house is this terrifying. When my tween/teens have sleepovers, I confiscate devices at a certain time. They don't need to be up until 2, 3 in the morning on their phones. If they don't like it they don't have to come over. I tell the parents ahead of time, they know they can reach me at any hour if there's an emergency. I've actually gotten good feedback from other kids' parents that the kids themselves like it, because some - maybe even most - don't want to be staring at a screen all night, but when just one kid does it, they all do it... |
Anonymous
Exactly. We, as parents, are completely failing this generation of kids by allowing them to have phones and social media too early and on them 24/7. |
Anonymous
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I love the parallel play comparison.
I find it both infuriating and profoundly sad when I see a group of teens physically together all on their phones. It's 100% parallel play. Too many of these kids are growing up without learning how to communicate in person to people that may disagree with them, annoy them, excite them - whatever. They're just staying in "safe spaces" on their own phone. I guess it is possible, even likely, those people will just grow up and that will be their life. I have a kid in college whose roommate almost never leaves the room. He's playing games and chatting on his laptop whenever he isn't studying or in class. He doesn't want to go eat in the dining hall, go to events or games, parties, nothing. I guess that's fine - he isn't hurting anybody? - but what a sad life. |
Anonymous
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To the weirdo, controlling parent demanding people give up their personal property b/c you can't tolerate being a fussy, bossy hag in your own home ---- do as you please. Just tell us of your dumb effing rule beforehand so we can decline. And not make the trip to your little home prison.
Done. Everyone gets what they want. |
Anonymous
As long as you say it ahead of time, it’s fine. But do give parents and teens that courtesy. |
Anonymous
How are your kids going to make it out in the real world. I mean honestly. Phones die, there lose service, the battery runs out, kids lose them. During major catastrophes like 9/11, tornadoes, and earthquakes, there is no cell service. I mean are you really this enabling of your teen? They have to be able to call you at all times 24/7. How did every other generation of parents survive parenting kids they couldn't reach 24/7 to "help and guide them for any tiny little problem in their lives" And we wonder why this generation has so much anxiety and mental health issues. They literally have no idea how to manage social situations, have no street smarts, and absolutely have no autonomy to make any decisions in their lives. So many of them are tracked by mommy and daddy 24/7 anyway. This is the first generation of parents addicted to cell phones raising kids addicted to cell phones and wow so many of you come off as super unhinged about it. |
Anonymous
Literally every poster here that does it has said they announce ahead of time. No one is just grabbing phones as kids walk in the door unannounced. NO ONE DOES THAT! The naysayers just want to believe that is the way it happens. I have bi-weekly screen free gatherings for my 13yr old. The parents and kids all know they can bring their phones but just leave them upstairs. They hang in the basement all night snacking, playing games, talking etc... On nice nights they have a bonfire or go play capture the flag outside. And the other perk is no one can use social media and tag other kids or brag they are all together etc.... It takes so much pressure off of them and also doesn't make others not there feel left out. Some kids will come upstairs and check their phones for a few minutes. Others will call their parents. It's no big deal. Just come upstairs away from the gathering and use it for however long you want. Same with sleepovers. I usually let them have them for 1-2 hours and then they keep them upstairs and can come up and use them if needed. They all sleep in the basement. But when random kids come over after school or last minute, I don't just grab phones. They keep them because it is a quick hangout or last minute thing. No big deal. We have always been the hangout house, for all of our kids. It's never been an issue and many parents have thanked us. Many go home and tell them about a new board game or card game they have learned. And yes, they have all learned to play poker too, which they love (with just plastic chips and bragging rights) They ask my husband to come down and deal a lot too. The only screen we allow is we still have Wii U and they play the Wii sports, bowling, tennis, etc... and there is a ton of laughs with that. I am not looking to parent anyone's kid but I want my kids to have fun social nights without screens sometimes and this has always worked. We started noticing how many kids just stay home on weekends and sit on their phones/social media as their form of socializing. So I started doing the initial invites when they are younger and once they hit 12-13yrs old, they are in change of inviting up to 8 and they always let them know about it being a screen-free night. They can make a choice. If they don't want to come, no big deal. At one point we had 3 kids doing them and that was a lot. Almost every Fri or Sat night. I feel like it has been worth it and all of them have loved them and have said they love being the hangout house. It doesn't have to be phones and there doesn't have to be alcohol or drugs when they are older. Have they ever done those things in high school. I am sure. Caught some of them too. But I have 22, 20, 18, and 13yr old and they are all relatively stable and happy. So I will keep on offering them as long as the youngest wants and her friends can keep making the choice to come or not. |
Anonymous
Go back and follow the thread. Multiple people have been saying to give a heads up and do what you want, and let the teens decide. People like 1/29 20:02 responded negatively to these very simple requests. So no, you are not correct. |
Anonymous
1/28 17:39 - trying to suggest it’s like asking someone to take off shoes, aka doesn’t need to be disclosed ahead of time. |
Anonymous
I have a hangout house too, for two teens ages 13 and 15. My kids do all that stuff too - they might watch a movie instead of wii, but yes we do the board games and paint nails and play with the dogs and chat and eat pizza and enjoy the backyard/fire pit too. They aren’t constantly staring at screens. And I don’t need to take anyone’s phones to achieve it. They use their own voices to figure out what they want to do together and speak up for the type of evening they want to have together. Without my interfering. |
Anonymous
Or anytime prior to 15 years ago LOL |
Anonymous
Honestly, if your basement is the hang out, how do you know what kids are on their phones the whole time or not? I don’t do the above but when I brought popcorn down during a movie my 15yr old daughter and every single one of her friends had their cell phone to their face while the movie was playing. So I am sure it is happening when I am not down in the basement the other 95% of the time. So how do you know if you aren’t near them how often they use their phones and what they are posting on social media? |