Check your phone at the door

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

Agreed. Unless I was really close with the parents, I would be bothered by that. My kid has his phone mainly so I can reach him or he can reach me. I consider it a safety issue, and if a parent is taking it away then I'm concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I actually think the parents who MUST be able to contact their kids 24/7 sound like the controlling ones here.

This.

They should read their phone contracts: "service is not guaranteed."

I honestly feel badly for kids who are raised in this sort of environment. What is going to happen when they finally move out of their parents' homes?

It's the other way around. I want my kid to be able to reach me. If he were old enough to move out, then I wouldn't be so concerned about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Not pp, but it sounds like you need to get a handle on your anxiety and then try to cut the cord between you and your child. What kind of messaging are you sending the kid if danger lurks around every corner that they need to have a device within reach to call their mother when having it at a friend's house? That kind of anxiety is contagious and could either leave the kid incredibly nervous about life or rebelling against their tethered parent.

Oh ffs. I’m teaching her how to notice when people are not cool. Sex predators happen. Middle schoolers can be awful to one another emotionally and socially. She could get her period and not be prepared. Something minor and less extreme - she simply isn’t into being there and wants to head home. If she’s not into being there I don’t want her to have to run the gauntlet of a controlling parent that might not perceive the situation clearly. She’s learning how to be independent by keeping it in her pocket except for emergencies instead of not being trusted to use it judiciously. I trust my kid.

Most of these situations aren't even time-sensitive issues. You think you are showing your daughter that are there for, but you are really teaching her that she cannot handle very basic stuff without you. Someone might be mean to her in MS? She might get her period? I fear that you might actually be serious too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid would know to refuse and to call me.

such a rebel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Because your children were in settings without you and without a phone at a much younger age. Now they are older and you believe they could be in a situation so uncomfortable that they need to be able to call you right away? Do you not see what's wrong with your thinking?

NP That's stupid and not true. I don't know anyone who let their kid go anywhere alone in the early elementary years, not even birthday parties (no parents hosting parties want that anyway). Once my kid was in upper elementary, it was ok as long as I knew the parents. Plus, he had an Apple watch that he could used to contact me in an emergency. I don't know anyone who let their young kid go wherever they wanted with people they hardly knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Because your children were in settings without you and without a phone at a much younger age. Now they are older and you believe they could be in a situation so uncomfortable that they need to be able to call you right away? Do you not see what's wrong with your thinking?

NP That's stupid and not true. I don't know anyone who let their kid go anywhere alone in the early elementary years, not even birthday parties (no parents hosting parties want that anyway). Once my kid was in upper elementary, it was ok as long as I knew the parents. Plus, he had an Apple watch that he could used to contact me in an emergency. I don't know anyone who let their young kid go wherever they wanted with people they hardly knew.

Wow, you must really live in a sheltered bubble. Nobody stays for birthday parties after kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

Agreed. Unless I was really close with the parents, I would be bothered by that. My kid has his phone mainly so I can reach him or he can reach me. I consider it a safety issue, and if a parent is taking it away then I'm concerned.

really? I think if my kid is at someone's house and something happens the parents would probably let them use the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Not pp, but it sounds like you need to get a handle on your anxiety and then try to cut the cord between you and your child. What kind of messaging are you sending the kid if danger lurks around every corner that they need to have a device within reach to call their mother when having it at a friend's house? That kind of anxiety is contagious and could either leave the kid incredibly nervous about life or rebelling against their tethered parent.

Oh ffs. I’m teaching her how to notice when people are not cool. Sex predators happen. Middle schoolers can be awful to one another emotionally and socially. She could get her period and not be prepared. Something minor and less extreme - she simply isn’t into being there and wants to head home. If she’s not into being there I don’t want her to have to run the gauntlet of a controlling parent that might not perceive the situation clearly. She’s learning how to be independent by keeping it in her pocket except for emergencies instead of not being trusted to use it judiciously. I trust my kid.

Most of these situations aren't even time-sensitive issues. You think you are showing your daughter that are there for, but you are really teaching her that she cannot handle very basic stuff without you. Someone might be mean to her in MS? She might get her period? I fear that you might actually be serious too.

NP It's called being a parent and taking care of your minor child. Not doing so only teaches your child that they can't rely on you for help when they need it. You sound like a pretty crappy parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

Agreed. Unless I was really close with the parents, I would be bothered by that. My kid has his phone mainly so I can reach him or he can reach me. I consider it a safety issue, and if a parent is taking it away then I'm concerned.

really? I think if my kid is at someone's house and something happens the parents would probably let them use the phone.

You mean these parents that you don't know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Because your children were in settings without you and without a phone at a much younger age. Now they are older and you believe they could be in a situation so uncomfortable that they need to be able to call you right away? Do you not see what's wrong with your thinking?

NP That's stupid and not true. I don't know anyone who let their kid go anywhere alone in the early elementary years, not even birthday parties (no parents hosting parties want that anyway). Once my kid was in upper elementary, it was ok as long as I knew the parents. Plus, he had an Apple watch that he could used to contact me in an emergency. I don't know anyone who let their young kid go wherever they wanted with people they hardly knew.

Your DC never went to the park or the pool or anything without you there? He never walked home/rode the bus by himself? Has never been without a parent or an electronic tether such as an Apple watch or phone in his entire life?

No wonder Gen Z are basketcases. Poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid would know to refuse and to call me.

You must not have teens. They are not calling mommy in front of their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Because your children were in settings without you and without a phone at a much younger age. Now they are older and you believe they could be in a situation so uncomfortable that they need to be able to call you right away? Do you not see what's wrong with your thinking?

NP That's stupid and not true. I don't know anyone who let their kid go anywhere alone in the early elementary years, not even birthday parties (no parents hosting parties want that anyway). Once my kid was in upper elementary, it was ok as long as I knew the parents. Plus, he had an Apple watch that he could used to contact me in an emergency. I don't know anyone who let their young kid go wherever they wanted with people they hardly knew.

Wow, you must really live in a sheltered bubble. Nobody stays for birthday parties after kindergarten.

Not that poster but everyone stayed at our parties but we always welcomed people. Anyone who refuses any contact with another parent is a huge red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has never occurred to me to ever separate my kids' friends from their belongings.

Like leaving their shoes at the door? Or their coats? I'm sure it has occurred to you, but nice try. They will survive without their phone glued to their hand. They can ask to use it if they need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid would know to refuse and to call me.

You must not have teens. They are not calling mommy in front of their friends.

Not that poster but my teen would call or text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control.

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument?

Not pp, but it sounds like you need to get a handle on your anxiety and then try to cut the cord between you and your child. What kind of messaging are you sending the kid if danger lurks around every corner that they need to have a device within reach to call their mother when having it at a friend's house? That kind of anxiety is contagious and could either leave the kid incredibly nervous about life or rebelling against their tethered parent.

Oh ffs. I’m teaching her how to notice when people are not cool. Sex predators happen. Middle schoolers can be awful to one another emotionally and socially. She could get her period and not be prepared. Something minor and less extreme - she simply isn’t into being there and wants to head home. If she’s not into being there I don’t want her to have to run the gauntlet of a controlling parent that might not perceive the situation clearly. She’s learning how to be independent by keeping it in her pocket except for emergencies instead of not being trusted to use it judiciously. I trust my kid.

Most of these situations aren't even time-sensitive issues. You think you are showing your daughter that are there for, but you are really teaching her that she cannot handle very basic stuff without you. Someone might be mean to her in MS? She might get her period? I fear that you might actually be serious too.

NP It's called being a parent and taking care of your minor child. Not doing so only teaches your child that they can't rely on you for help when they need it. You sound like a pretty crappy parent.

DP. Yeah, but you sound like a terrible parent - a snowplow and helicopter parent combined.