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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If they get uncomfortable or need to get out of an unsafe situation I’d like them to be able to reach me directly. Period.

The difference in having her phone and calling me from the bathroom to be picked up, or having to screw up her courage to get it from a basket at the door could make a difference. We like to think nothing bad is happening, and most likely it isn’t, but I want her to have access to ME if she needs me.

I totally get the intention of device free hangouts. But also think that’s something we need to suggest versus try to control. [/quote]

So your children never went to anyone's house or birthday party without you for all of elementary school?[/quote]

Well that’s a leap!

Why are you trying to make this an argument? [/quote]

Not pp, but it sounds like you need to get a handle on your anxiety and then try to cut the cord between you and your child. What kind of messaging are you sending the kid if danger lurks around every corner that they need to have a device within reach to call their mother when having it at a friend's house? That kind of anxiety is contagious and could either leave the kid incredibly nervous about life or rebelling against their tethered parent.[/quote]

Oh ffs. I’m teaching her how to notice when people are not cool. Sex predators happen. Middle schoolers can be awful to one another emotionally and socially. She could get her period and not be prepared. Something minor and less extreme - she simply isn’t into being there and wants to head home. If she’s not into being there I don’t want her to have to run the gauntlet of a controlling parent that might not perceive the situation clearly. She’s learning how to be independent by keeping it in her pocket except for emergencies instead of not being trusted to use it judiciously. I trust my kid. [/quote]

Most of these situations aren't even time-sensitive issues.  You think you are showing your daughter that are there for, but you are really teaching her that she cannot handle very basic stuff without you.  Someone might be mean to her in MS? She might get her period?  I fear that you might actually be serious too.[/quote]

NP It's called being a parent and taking care of your minor child.  Not doing so only teaches your child that they can't rely on you for help when they need it.  You sound like a pretty crappy parent.[/quote]

DP.  Yeah, but you sound like a terrible parent - a snowplow and helicopter parent combined.  [/quote]

You clearly don't even know what a helicopter parent is.  It's an over-controlling authoritarian parent who punishes their child for mistakes.  It's not a caring parent who takes care of their child.  Worst kind of parent in the old helicopter study was the one who left the kid alone and ignored.  Common misunderstanding among those who get their parenting advice from internet message boards and facebook posts.[/quote]

You're right, my mistake.  Just a snowplow parent.  [/quote]

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