Kid wearing a tutu to class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

[Anonymous]

A boy who wears a tutu to middle school is deliberately inviting the teasing. He wants the confrontation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle school boy wearing pink tutu to school as a regular outfit. Thoughts?

Hi OP!

I think I know of the teen you are posting about. Does he attend Longfellow middle school in McLean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

But you clearly have never parented a middle schooler.

Yes, I have. Two, in fact.

[Anonymous]

Does it violate the Dress Code? If not, then let it go if it's not your child.

Would I let our boy or girl child wear one (not on a spirit day)? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Who cares? Why do you care? Why does anyone care? It's not going to change his gender identity or sexual orientation or make his penis fall off. It's his choice and no one else's business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

This. A self-confident kid wearing what makes them comfortable, surrounded by like-minded peers, is actually less vulnerable to bullying than the kid trying desperately to be cool but not quite getting it right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

Then why invite it? You’re saying to encourage it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Why do you care? Why does anyone care? It's not going to change his gender identity or sexual orientation or make his penis fall off. It's his choice and no one else's business.

Tell that to a school full of kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming the kid was wearing clothes under the tutu, right?

If it's someone else's kid, I wouldn't really care one way or the other.
If it was my kid, we might have a conversation about why he wants to wear it, and I'd absolutely remind him that school rules still apply, and he doesn't get to cause a disruption in class by his clothes or behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Why do you care? Why does anyone care? It's not going to change his gender identity or sexual orientation or make his penis fall off. It's his choice and no one else's business.

It certainly is others business when it is disruptive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Why do you care? Why does anyone care? It's not going to change his gender identity or sexual orientation or make his penis fall off. It's his choice and no one else's business.

Schools get to enforce dress codes.

[Anonymous]

If a boy in my kid's class was doing this, I'd make sure they know about how to help others stand up to bullying. In case it happens.

I would tell my own kids (both genders) that I do not want them wearing something so flamboyant too school. They are well aware of our family's academic standards, and that I will enforce rules on anything I think will deter from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

Then why invite it? You’re saying to encourage it.

Invite what? Bullying? I promise you, attempting to dress a middle schooler in what their parent thinks is cool but appropriate for middle schoolers is not going to discourage a bully. Among other things, wearing a tutu means the victim of bullies (assuming the child is bullied since you seem to consider this inevitable) is controlling what they are attacked with. Middle school me much preferred to be teased for my penchant for long skirts instead of say my weight or my fondness of "boy" things like math and technical theater. I don't know this child's situation at all but I do think that they are making a conscious choice about their clothing and I (as a parent) wouldn't fight them on that, provided their tutu was weather-appropriate and didn't violate the school dress code.