Kid wearing a tutu to class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle school boy wearing pink tutu to school as a regular outfit. Thoughts?

Is it getting him the attention he needs?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

This. A self-confident kid wearing what makes them comfortable, surrounded by like-minded peers, is actually less vulnerable to bullying than the kid trying desperately to be cool but not quite getting it right.

+1 Boy in a tutu’s gonna be just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

Then why invite it? You’re saying to encourage it.

Invite what? Bullying? I promise you, attempting to dress a middle schooler in what their parent thinks is cool but appropriate for middle schoolers is not going to discourage a bully. Among other things, wearing a tutu means the victim of bullies (assuming the child is bullied since you seem to consider this inevitable) is controlling what they are attacked with. Middle school me much preferred to be teased for my penchant for long skirts instead of say my weight or my fondness of "boy" things like math and technical theater. I don't know this child's situation at all but I do think that they are making a conscious choice about their clothing and I (as a parent) wouldn't fight them on that, provided their tutu was weather-appropriate and didn't violate the school dress code.

Feed the bullies if that suits you then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

Well sure...if San Francisco.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

Then why invite it? You’re saying to encourage it.

Invite what? Bullying? I promise you, attempting to dress a middle schooler in what their parent thinks is cool but appropriate for middle schoolers is not going to discourage a bully. Among other things, wearing a tutu means the victim of bullies (assuming the child is bullied since you seem to consider this inevitable) is controlling what they are attacked with. Middle school me much preferred to be teased for my penchant for long skirts instead of say my weight or my fondness of "boy" things like math and technical theater. I don't know this child's situation at all but I do think that they are making a conscious choice about their clothing and I (as a parent) wouldn't fight them on that, provided their tutu was weather-appropriate and didn't violate the school dress code.

Feed the bullies if that suits you then.

That's your experience and fear talking. Perhaps you learned street smarts and survival skills though your experience. But some don't want to just keep their head down and survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

Then why invite it? You’re saying to encourage it.

Invite what? Bullying? I promise you, attempting to dress a middle schooler in what their parent thinks is cool but appropriate for middle schoolers is not going to discourage a bully. Among other things, wearing a tutu means the victim of bullies (assuming the child is bullied since you seem to consider this inevitable) is controlling what they are attacked with. Middle school me much preferred to be teased for my penchant for long skirts instead of say my weight or my fondness of "boy" things like math and technical theater. I don't know this child's situation at all but I do think that they are making a conscious choice about their clothing and I (as a parent) wouldn't fight them on that, provided their tutu was weather-appropriate and didn't violate the school dress code.

Feed the bullies if that suits you then.

That's your experience and fear talking. Perhaps you learned street smarts and survival skills though your experience. But some don't want to just keep their head down and survive.

Your comment is a non sequitur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

Well sure...if San Francisco.

Well this site is for Washington, DC. This ain't Kansas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

This. A self-confident kid wearing what makes them comfortable, surrounded by like-minded peers, is actually less vulnerable to bullying than the kid trying desperately to be cool but not quite getting it right.

+1 Boy in a tutu’s gonna be just fine.

+1

PPs are clueless about MS dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

This. A self-confident kid wearing what makes them comfortable, surrounded by like-minded peers, is actually less vulnerable to bullying than the kid trying desperately to be cool but not quite getting it right.

+1 Boy in a tutu’s gonna be just fine.

+1

PPs are clueless about MS dynamics.

As you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A boy who wears a tutu to middle school is deliberately inviting the teasing. He wants the confrontation.

As an out gay man (and a dad), I'm proud of this kid. It takes guts. Let him have the confrontation! I just hope he will also tell off all of the pearl clutching homophobe moms on this thread, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A boy who wears a tutu to middle school is deliberately inviting the teasing. He wants the confrontation.

As an out gay man (and a dad), I'm proud of this kid. It takes guts. Let him have the confrontation! I just hope he will also tell off all of the pearl clutching homophobe moms on this thread, too!

Please. This isn't about pearl clutching because someone is gay. Schools are trying to educate kids and don't need the distraction of anyone sitting in class in a tutu. Grow up, dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A boy who wears a tutu to middle school is deliberately inviting the teasing. He wants the confrontation.

As an out gay man (and a dad), I'm proud of this kid. It takes guts. Let him have the confrontation! I just hope he will also tell off all of the pearl clutching homophobe moms on this thread, too!

This is school, not your parade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A boy who wears a tutu to middle school is deliberately inviting the teasing. He wants the confrontation.

As an out gay man (and a dad), I'm proud of this kid. It takes guts. Let him have the confrontation! I just hope he will also tell off all of the pearl clutching homophobe moms on this thread, too!

That’s what you aspire for children to do. Wow! I pity your child.

Why would you pity him? Because he isn't a self-hating conformist who keeps his mouth shut? I'm proud of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in San Francisco a long time apparently - I had to read this twice to try to figure out what the problem is. DD had a friend wear a onesie to school every day for a month. Kids would wear a cape or a tail. Nobody cares here. It's okay to be weird, and self-expression is fine as long as it doesn't endorse violence, drugs, or hate speech.

But even you recognize that it's "weird." Why encourage someone to dress in a way that will ultimately result in teasing?

Too bad this seems to be the ultimate fear of parents these days. Your kid will be teased, your kid will be left out...

See what happens when a basic has kids

I work in middle school settings. Some of you are very naive or so nonconforming that you either do not care or don't get it.

Maybe you are not getting it. This teen boy knows what it is to wear a tutu to school and he's still doing it. Who knows why? Is it the parent's job to stop him because some kids might bully him? At this age, does he not know what he is getting himself into as far as sticking out at school?

Yup. There was one boy who consistently wore girls' clothing in DD's ES. There is a different boy that does it at her MS. I have asked DD if they get bullied, and she said no, nobody cares.

I’ve seen kids get bullied for lesser things. Don’t be naive.

That's the point a bunch of us are trying to make. Kids are bullied for anything and everything, if bullies want to bully. NOT wearing the tutu won't prevent it and it's honestly possible wearing the tutu will, since bullies are more likely to target people they think are squashable or vulnerable. I was bullied in middle school. I don't think attempting to help your child conform when they don't want to isn't the answer some of you think it is. If they're *asking* for advice on conforming or being cool, that's one thing, but if they want to stand out it's different.

This. A self-confident kid wearing what makes them comfortable, surrounded by like-minded peers, is actually less vulnerable to bullying than the kid trying desperately to be cool but not quite getting it right.

+1 Boy in a tutu’s gonna be just fine.

+1

PPs are clueless about MS dynamics.

As you are.

Huh? I have two kids in MS and one in HS. Now. Not 50 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A boy who wears a tutu to middle school is deliberately inviting the teasing. He wants the confrontation.

As an out gay man (and a dad), I'm proud of this kid. It takes guts. Let him have the confrontation! I just hope he will also tell off all of the pearl clutching homophobe moms on this thread, too!

This is school, not your parade.

No, but it's this boy's parade & he is going to be fierce.