When you didn’t “do enough” as a host

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Says who? A dinner can be anything. An omelet, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a three course meal, a plate of appetizers. The disordered eating approach would be rigidly insisting only a plate of meat and two sides qualifies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Says who? A dinner can be anything. An omelet, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a three course meal, a plate of appetizers. The disordered eating approach would be rigidly insisting only a plate of meat and two sides qualifies.

You don’t sound like a great host, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Says who? A dinner can be anything. An omelet, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a three course meal, a plate of appetizers. The disordered eating approach would be rigidly insisting only a plate of meat and two sides qualifies.

You don’t sound like a great host, sorry.

You just sound greedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Can you explain how you are unable to eat a filling amount of food from a heavy app spread? I think we are all baffled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Says who? A dinner can be anything. An omelet, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a three course meal, a plate of appetizers. The disordered eating approach would be rigidly insisting only a plate of meat and two sides qualifies.

You don’t sound like a great host, sorry.

You don’t know a thing about how I host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Can you explain how you are unable to eat a filling amount of food from a heavy app spread? I think we are all baffled.

How are you baffled? In the same context, where someone says they don't find appetizer dinner filling (and multiple posters say they don't like this type of dinner), multiple other posters have chimed in with saying the poster must be "piggy" or "greedy." It's weird to sit and fill up on cocktail sausages and many posters here have shown that they ARE judging the amount people eat. Not sure what's so hard to follow here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:heavy apps makes a GREAT Christmas day meal. It means there is almost certainly something everyone likes- so no one is sitting there eating turkey when they don't like turkey etc. It is timing flexible- so it makes less difference exactly what time guests arrive- if kids nap late or whatever- people aren't 'holding' dinner for you. It means kids can play, and you are not forcing them to sit at a table for a long time. It means the host is just busy in the kitchen in short bursts throughout the day rather than several hours focused in the kitchen fixing a meal. I did this yesterday- it was great. I had a nice platter of fruit, a nice platter of cut up veggies and hummus. Cheese and crackers. Cocktail meatballs in the crockpot in bbq sauce. Thai peanut chicken wraps in cabbage. Shrimp and cocktail sauce. stuffed mushrooms. scallops wrapped in bacon. Deviled eggs. mini hot dogs in crescent rolls (e.g. pigs in a blanket). falafel.
Most of those was homemade- I also had 'backup' apps in the freezer (e.g. trader joe's stuff like mini tacos, frozen crab cakes etc). Which I would have pulled out if the food was going faster than expected.
OP- I'm sorry your sister was a jerk to you. Shake off and ignore- I know that is easier said then done.

This sounds terrible. I also don’t understand the “heavy apps” substitute for an actual meal. It feels more like a 2nd grade bday party. If I knew that I was going to a party like this, I’d most definitely feed the family before arriving so that we wouldn’t be hungry. If I didn’t know, it’d be annoying bc then we’d be hungry and stranded.

I do think this is just cultural though. If I ever hosted with just apps, I’d be mortified and laughed out of the family. In some parts of the US, this is totally the norm. My dad is from the Midwest and on rare occasions that we visit his family we don’t eat bc there’s never food! Or there might be a bowl of something but it’s doused in mayonnaise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

+1. It is a reflection of poor diet and unhealthy food culture. I think that’s the divide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Can you explain how you are unable to eat a filling amount of food from a heavy app spread? I think we are all baffled.

I'd nibble to be polite and then stop on the way home. Frozen items, cheese and crackers isn't particularly healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Can you explain how you are unable to eat a filling amount of food from a heavy app spread? I think we are all baffled.

I'd nibble to be polite and then stop on the way home. Frozen items, cheese and crackers isn't particularly healthy.

What would you normally eat for a holiday meal that would also be "healthy?" Just because its home made, doesn't mean it's healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Can you explain how you are unable to eat a filling amount of food from a heavy app spread? I think we are all baffled.

I'd nibble to be polite and then stop on the way home. Frozen items, cheese and crackers isn't particularly healthy.

What would you normally eat for a holiday meal that would also be "healthy?" Just because its home made, doesn't mean it's healthy.

You’ve never had a full serving of lean protein and lots of vegetables at a holiday meal? Your question itself is telling about your eating habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Can you explain how you are unable to eat a filling amount of food from a heavy app spread? I think we are all baffled.

I'd nibble to be polite and then stop on the way home. Frozen items, cheese and crackers isn't particularly healthy.

What would you normally eat for a holiday meal that would also be "healthy?" Just because its home made, doesn't mean it's healthy.

We made tenderloin, Greek salad, fattoush, rice dish, green beans/mushrooms, roasted potatoes, roasted veg, kibbeh, etc., plus apps when guests arrive and dessert. There’s a huge difference between making a meal and serving “heavy apps”, the latter not supposed to be your main dish. While I don’t expect Xmas to be healthy, I do expect real food most times

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Can you explain how you are unable to eat a filling amount of food from a heavy app spread? I think we are all baffled.

I'd nibble to be polite and then stop on the way home. Frozen items, cheese and crackers isn't particularly healthy.

What would you normally eat for a holiday meal that would also be "healthy?" Just because its home made, doesn't mean it's healthy.

You’ve never had a full serving of lean protein and lots of vegetables at a holiday meal? Your question itself is telling about your eating habits.

No, because I eat that every other meal. All things in moderation. You sound like you have an eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore your sisters and the posters criticizing your menu— as long as no one was hungry no one is entitled to a particular kind of meal, good grief I’ve never heard anything more gluttonous.

Had your sister been drinking heavily? If not, I would tell her if it comes up again that she is not required to accept an invitation next year.

I always leave hungry during a meal of heavy apps. I’m 50- do you think I’m going to spend the night filling up on bruschetta or something like that?

If you’re 50 I assume by now someone has told you that you eat politely at your hosts house, say thank you graciously, and depart. You can get takeout on your way home if there is something about bruschetta that a 50 year old cannot safely due to their advanced age or other dietary conditions. The 50 y/os in my life are either much healthier than you or much more polite, not sure which.

There are two issues -- as a guest whether you say anything (obviously no) and now whether in this anon forum people can give their views on appetizer dinners (yes, of course we can, and I don't like it). "Heavy apps" is not actually a dinner. You folks must have the most disordered eating. The only people I know who actually think this is a dinner have very unhealthy eating patterns.

Can you explain how you are unable to eat a filling amount of food from a heavy app spread? I think we are all baffled.

I'd nibble to be polite and then stop on the way home. Frozen items, cheese and crackers isn't particularly healthy.

What would you normally eat for a holiday meal that would also be "healthy?" Just because its home made, doesn't mean it's healthy.

You’ve never had a full serving of lean protein and lots of vegetables at a holiday meal? Your question itself is telling about your eating habits.

No, because I eat that every other meal. All things in moderation. You sound like you have an eating disorder.

No, I know that my mood is best when I ate like that. It’s actually pretty normal and healthy.