Extracurriculars you regret supporting

[Anonymous]

We had middle school sports growing up. JV and Varsity for soccer, basketball, baseball, volleyball and more. Practice 5 nights a week was enough to get better at your sport. No need for 9 month sports and travel fees, coaches and bs.

[Anonymous]

I ride horses and am waiting for the person who mentioned it to come back and explain why it was cult-like for them. Toxic instructors? That's a thing that definitely happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that after about 6th grade it becomes really difficult to find options outside of travel. I hate it but I now have two kids in travel sports because the choices were basically give up the sport or find a travel team. Luckily the coaches seem nice but it’s still an insane commitment.

The ones I don’t regret are scouts and piano lessons.
And I think preschool gymnastics is great because it really helps with gross motor and core strength/balance. After 1st grade or so it starts to get a little crazy, but I think it’s a great idea for the 3-6 year olds.

We are going through that now with our middle schooler. There are rec sports but the commitment of others are dropping off. Last season they had to forfeit 1/3 of the games. So it’s looking like travel or this where they don’t really play.

[Anonymous]

I don't regret supporting dance I just wish my DD's journey was different.

My daughter did combo class from prek to 2nd and flamenco from K-5. By the end of my DD's 2nd grade year I was going through a bad divorce. While I could have technically afforded it my DD didn't seem super interested at the time and my priorities were to make life as easy as I could for myself. I didn't have the time and my DD didn't seem dedicated enough for 5 classes a week (the pre-competition track), which was what the studio wanted.

So I switched her to a more low key studio that focused on flamenco exclusively. She loved it and was excelling... and then the studio owner quit teaching to focus on her career as a professional dancer when my DD was in 5th.

My daughter still loves dance so she went back to the first studio, is years behind her same-age peers, and wishes I hadn't pulled her out.

My regret was letting her get so involved in such a niche activity.

[Anonymous]

Why are there so many "regret" topics?

[Anonymous]

I don’t have regrets, my kids do dance team at school (middle and high) but I actually wish I’d gotten them into a traditional team sport, especially my youngest who is pretty athletic. She’s a good dancer bc she has rhythm but I kind of put her into it bc it was convenient to have both of my kids in the same activity, honestly….so I guess I regret dance bc it wasn’t the exact right fit for her and she’s really too old (and stubborn) to do a sport now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Theater!!!!

I rue the day

Total opposite here. It’s my favorite thing that any of my kids do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Competitive dance - costumes, makeup, dance moves, etc. Who are they trying to impress? Creeps?

Everyone gets a trophy. The medals and trophies became meaningless after awhile. The awards ceremonies were a joke.

So you want it to be even more competitive?

I think the point is that achievements are meaningless when everyone gets a trophy. Unlike, say, track and field when you are competing for a time or distance, something objective.

Where else can you work with a dance troupe and perform and perfect your routine? Seriously asking. Sometimes the "competition" is the excuse to do that.

But then again, I don't understand all the hand wringing with participation trophy nonsense. if adults simply participated in/executed better eating and exercise routines, we'd be a really healthy nation.

Some dance schools have performance teams/companies that rehearse choreography and then perform periodically throughout the school year in all sorts of different venues (ranging from traditional dance concerts to nursing homes, Christmas tree lightings, local fairs, halftime shows, etc.). These can be a nice alternative to the competition route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm actually really surprised that parents don't remove certain activities as an option go begin with.

And I'm really surprised that parents unilaterally remove sports to begin with (unless it's a cost decision). We encouraged our kids to find the things they enjoyed and we supported them regardless. Had they run into issues that had serious long-term consequences -- body issue images, excessive injuries, etc -- we might have had a discussion at that point, but why eliminate them right off the bat?

They picked sports I never would have chosen -- summer/club/HS swimming, travel soccer, AAU basketball, HS and club crew to name a few. As it turns out, I love watching my daughters play basketball (though I still have general disdain for the sport) and it turns out that my largest adult friend cohort is our swim families. And neither one will play a sport in college.

Caveat -- we are fortunate that cost isn't really an issue. Not bragging, just acknowledging a potential blindspot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Competitive dance - costumes, makeup, dance moves, etc. Who are they trying to impress? Creeps?

+1

x1000

For me. I knew better with my children and steered clear.


Also +1 to gymnastics.

I went to a cheer team “tryout” when my daughter was 8 or 9 because she begged me. I was horrified and all I could think is these are not my people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm actually really surprised that parents don't remove certain activities as an option go begin with.

Exactly. I can’t regret anything because a sport/activity that didn’t work for us for whatever reason was ended fairly quickly or ruled out before lessons began.

We were both a hard pass on dance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had middle school sports growing up. JV and Varsity for soccer, basketball, baseball, volleyball and more. Practice 5 nights a week was enough to get better at your sport. No need for 9 month sports and travel fees, coaches and bs.

x10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm actually really surprised that parents don't remove certain activities as an option go begin with.

And I'm really surprised that parents unilaterally remove sports to begin with (unless it's a cost decision). We encouraged our kids to find the things they enjoyed and we supported them regardless. Had they run into issues that had serious long-term consequences -- body issue images, excessive injuries, etc -- we might have had a discussion at that point, but why eliminate them right off the bat?

They picked sports I never would have chosen -- summer/club/HS swimming, travel soccer, AAU basketball, HS and club crew to name a few. As it turns out, I love watching my daughters play basketball (though I still have general disdain for the sport) and it turns out that my largest adult friend cohort is our swim families. And neither one will play a sport in college.

Caveat -- we are fortunate that cost isn't really an issue. Not bragging, just acknowledging a potential blindspot.

But why are you surprised? Parents set limits and boundaries on what their kids can do. It could be based on anything safety, finances, time commitments ect. Kids don't have to do everything or activities at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that after about 6th grade it becomes really difficult to find options outside of travel. I hate it but I now have two kids in travel sports because the choices were basically give up the sport or find a travel team. Luckily the coaches seem nice but it’s still an insane commitment.

The ones I don’t regret are scouts and piano lessons.
And I think preschool gymnastics is great because it really helps with gross motor and core strength/balance. After 1st grade or so it starts to get a little crazy, but I think it’s a great idea for the 3-6 year olds.

Trying to get my DD to stick to Scouts (she is in a BSA not GS troop) because it seems to teach a lot of good skills but her interest is waning.

How old is she? My observation as a mom to Girl Scouts and boys in BSA is that from grades 3-7 or so, it’s really rough to be a girl in a boy dominated activity. I don’t know if it’s the gap in brain maturity or natures way of getting them ready for puberty but the kids really hunker down along gender lines there. BSA can be very much like school with the skills requirements and I don’t think my son would stay in it except he really likes the other boys. Venture scouts might be an option for your daughter if it’s the outdoor stuff she likes. Many GS transition to venture scouts in the teen years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This area is competitive, selective, and has a lot of parents with a lot of money.

This is true of almost any urban or suburban area in America. You might be surprised how much worse Texas, CO, and CA can be than here, or even Florida where certain sports never stop. I don't think it's at all specific to DC/NOVA/MD.

I hear in other parts of the country, kids get homeschooled and such when they are really good at sports. THat would be unheard of (or really frowned upon) here.

Lots of very high level soccer boys around here do online school their last couple of years of HS. Likely frowned upon by most DCUM parents, but far from unheard of, for better or worse. I’m guessing this is true of plenty of other kids in other sports in the DMV.