Extracurriculars you regret supporting
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Yes, these are some of the issues. In addition, it brings out the very ugly side of perfectionists. Also my DD was fairly competitive (and good for that level/age) as a young elementary schooler before being burned out; it's a fairly common progression. But it's led her to a mind set that she peaked in second grade, which is obviously terrible frame of mind for tween/teen years. |
Anonymous
| Private violin lessons, age 6-10 |
Anonymous
|
Tennis. We definitely should have stuck with the recreational outdoor clinics and then put it on a shelf, for her to come back to from time to time as something social to do with friends. She chose to focus on it over soccer when she was younger but now that she's in middle school the competitive environment at the indoor club makes her want to quit entirely. We're not country club people either, so there are fewer options for friendly year-round playing opportunities with kids who can sustain a good rally but who aren't always striving to compete at the next level, whatever that is (tournaments, college, etc). At least that we've found in NOVA anyway. Maybe it's different in other parts of the country.
She wants to try out for the high school team and see if that brings back the fun for her, and then she'll probably quit completely if it's just more of the same. |
Anonymous
I suspect tennis is fairly competitive in the majority of schools across the country. But one of my big issues with life in the DMV is that there isn't really a lot of openings for kids to play sports without starting at age 4 (or whetever) and to continue playing at a recreation level, rather everyone gunning for limited spaces and college recruitment. |
Anonymous
+1. Competition dance is such a waste. We left and found a lively non-competitive team and we are all so much happier. |
Anonymous
Just to give a different experience, my DD did gymnastics until 7th grade and it was great for her. Started with rec, moved to team in 3rd grade. She learned discipline, an appreciation for what her body could do and how strong her body is. The girls were a beautiful mix of body shapes and sizes. It was a great springboard to other sports, few of the girls on team stuck with it past middle school because of the intensity and wanting to do other/more things in high school, but they've all gone into other sports and done well. Diving, volleyball, lacrosse, etc. The flexibility, balance, and just the overall awareness of their body has served them well in athletics. |
Anonymous
I would add any sort of dance, including ballet, at a dance school/studio with a poor environment can wind up being a big regret in hindsight. |
Anonymous
My friends high level gymnast child had two knee surgeries (one to each) by the time she was 13 |
Anonymous
Agree. I advise avoiding dance all together. While it occasionally can be a good environment and beneficial, more likely than not it won't be |
Anonymous
I am so happy with found a solid studio. It is ballet centered but still has other dance styles. Body positive. No crazy competitions. |
Anonymous
|
My DS's GF is a gymnast, still doing in in college and that girl is going to have severe arthritis and probably other issues when she's older. The amount of injuries she has had and downplayed to her coaches is mind boggling.
My DD was/is a horseback rider. It can be done, even on a very competitive level on a budge if you do not get into the keeping up with the jones. My DD always had a nice but not perfect horse and she learned how to ride it. She knew she was not going to win at the big big shows and that was ok. She still had a great time, kept her out of trouble for a while and we sold our horse and put the money into college when she turned 18. No regrets. I have no regrets about ECs other than my DS wishes he had started his sport earlier, but how would we have known it would be his sport at the time? (pretty niche sport) |
Anonymous
At what ages did your DD dance competitively? |
Anonymous
Fencing? |
Anonymous
| Getting sucked into "travel" sports when they were really a money-making situation (think B teams). The problem was that, my kids liked playing sports, but weren't amazing. Yet, at a certain point, there were no more rec/lighter options. So we did travel soccer and travel lacrosse, driving endless hours to far away places to play teams when they could have played appropriately matched teams near to home. This was especially problematic with girls lacrosse. So, it's not so much the activity, but the level. These teams are not elite and there is no need to complicate the landscape so much. |
Anonymous
| Anything we can't walk to |