Extracurriculars you regret supporting

[Anonymous]

The problem is that after about 6th grade it becomes really difficult to find options outside of travel. I hate it but I now have two kids in travel sports because the choices were basically give up the sport or find a travel team. Luckily the coaches seem nice but it’s still an insane commitment.

The ones I don’t regret are scouts and piano lessons.
And I think preschool gymnastics is great because it really helps with gross motor and core strength/balance. After 1st grade or so it starts to get a little crazy, but I think it’s a great idea for the 3-6 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Club rugby in college. Over half of the team has been injured during games. Because it is a club sport there is no support for these players in navigating the college and getting supports after an injury. Our dd was injured in the spring and is still seeing a doctor about her head injury. This is a dangerous sport without coaches and should not be allowed without school supports in place.

My cousin's daughter is being recruited for women's rugby. She has had multiple fractures already. It's insane!

I did college rugby for a couple years (because a friend was doing it). There were multiple broken bones (not me, thankfully). It’s brutal. I wouldn’t let my kids do it.

[Anonymous]

None, we don't do travel sports but I fully support sports and music.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Figure skating. Terrible on the body and psyche. Reinforces a rigid perfectionist mindset. So very expensive with absolutely no upside. Very little chance of making it and few opportunities (at least gymnastics has scholarships and NCAA). Even if you win the Olympics, your reward is skating in Stars on Ice.

I was a competitive figure skater. I still love it and would have no problem supporting my child if they wanted to skate. I love that it is athletic and artistic. It was my outlet for a very long time and getting on the ice at 5 am for 3 hours before school helped me manage my ADHD. I've been an early riser my entire life and am most productive in the mornings. I agree it is expensive and not a great sport for folks who can't afford it and I agree that parents need to be prepared to support healthy eating habits for competitive kids. I wouldn't let my kid drop out of school unless they were clearly on an Olympic track. Obviously it didn't hold Nathen Chen back. I even agree that it reinforced a rigid perfectionist mindset but that has served me in my career and over time most of us mellow out as we get older and wiser. Finally, since I think it is only a good sport for wealthy families, the lack of scholarships is a nonissue. You do it because you love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that after about 6th grade it becomes really difficult to find options outside of travel. I hate it but I now have two kids in travel sports because the choices were basically give up the sport or find a travel team. Luckily the coaches seem nice but it’s still an insane commitment.

The ones I don’t regret are scouts and piano lessons.
And I think preschool gymnastics is great because it really helps with gross motor and core strength/balance. After 1st grade or so it starts to get a little crazy, but I think it’s a great idea for the 3-6 year olds.

I believe this. I guess I am lucky. My kid swims and plays basketball and both have pretty reasonable year round options. Rec basketball in particular seems to stay a strong option as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:gymnastics

This! If I could go back, I'd not let my DD go the competitive route. The sport is so brutal on young growing bodies. My DD is only 21 and has a bum knee, reconstructed elbow, and back that sometimes bothers her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that after about 6th grade it becomes really difficult to find options outside of travel. I hate it but I now have two kids in travel sports because the choices were basically give up the sport or find a travel team. Luckily the coaches seem nice but it’s still an insane commitment.

The ones I don’t regret are scouts and piano lessons.
And I think preschool gymnastics is great because it really helps with gross motor and core strength/balance. After 1st grade or so it starts to get a little crazy, but I think it’s a great idea for the 3-6 year olds.

I think that's really crappy. Older kids are kids too, its almost like they can't just do anything for fun anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll answer on behalf of my lifelong friend: competitive figure skating.

She missed out on a normal childhood to include early teen years. Traveled to competitions every school break. Had a compressed HS schedule that allowed her to arrive late after rink time and other days, leave early for specialized training like dance.Delayed puberty and then amenorrhea and later an eating disorder.

Family sacrificed to pay for the travel and coaching and classes and so pressure to continue was intense. Huge family rift when she up and quit junior year of hs. Mom was a judge, Dad
heavily involved.

I know someone whose daughter is a very, very famous ice skater (not from the US). Even she said she would never put her own child in it. It's toxic to its core.

[Anonymous]

Club soccer for DD. Not for the financial cost or the travel, but for the cutthroat atmosphere that kicked in starting about middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You can do dance lessons at the neighborhood studio down the street, and be active, learn some grace and musicality, and have fun with neighborhood friends. You can play rec soccer from age 3 to high school. You can take gymnastics classes and never go to a competition.

I consider this a bigger waste than the more competitive and expensive activities. If you’re going to have your kid downs so much time doing something at least let them learn what excellence is and what it takes to become good at something instead of spending a lot of time on something mediocre or low quality. What a waste of time.

I will never, ever understand this mentality. Kids (and adults because you are never too old to learn new stuff) can enjoy various hobbies without having to excel at them. You can still learn a ton from an activity without having to be top tier. You can still develop friendships. And, you can have, wait for it, ....F-U-N. Crazy, right? I think this idea of having to be tip-top at something is very American. Maybe it's the individualistic/you need to outshine your neighbor/average is a 4- letter word thing. It's like so many parents think their kid will be the next big thing and do not see anything of value in the activity itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that after about 6th grade it becomes really difficult to find options outside of travel. I hate it but I now have two kids in travel sports because the choices were basically give up the sport or find a travel team. Luckily the coaches seem nice but it’s still an insane commitment.

The ones I don’t regret are scouts and piano lessons.
And I think preschool gymnastics is great because it really helps with gross motor and core strength/balance. After 1st grade or so it starts to get a little crazy, but I think it’s a great idea for the 3-6 year olds.

Trying to get my DD to stick to Scouts (she is in a BSA not GS troop) because it seems to teach a lot of good skills but her interest is waning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This area is competitive, selective, and has a lot of parents with a lot of money.

This is true of almost any urban or suburban area in America. You might be surprised how much worse Texas, CO, and CA can be than here, or even Florida where certain sports never stop. I don't think it's at all specific to DC/NOVA/MD.

I hear in other parts of the country, kids get homeschooled and such when they are really good at sports. THat would be unheard of (or really frowned upon) here.

This happens with serious classical musicians as well. The only way you can practice for six or seven hours a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Competitive dance - costumes, makeup, dance moves, etc. Who are they trying to impress? Creeps?

Everyone gets a trophy. The medals and trophies became meaningless after awhile. The awards ceremonies were a joke.

So you want it to be even more competitive?

I think the point is that achievements are meaningless when everyone gets a trophy. Unlike, say, track and field when you are competing for a time or distance, something objective.

Where else can you work with a dance troupe and perform and perfect your routine? Seriously asking. Sometimes the "competition" is the excuse to do that.

But then again, I don't understand all the hand wringing with participation trophy nonsense. if adults simply participated in/executed better eating and exercise routines, we'd be a really healthy nation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This area is competitive, selective, and has a lot of parents with a lot of money.

This is true of almost any urban or suburban area in America. You might be surprised how much worse Texas, CO, and CA can be than here, or even Florida where certain sports never stop. I don't think it's at all specific to DC/NOVA/MD.

I hear in other parts of the country, kids get homeschooled and such when they are really good at sports. THat would be unheard of (or really frowned upon) here.

This happens with serious classical musicians as well. The only way you can practice for six or seven hours a day.

This is really interesting, thanks. I did not know this. For some reason, I thought serious musicians practiced intensely for a couple blocks a day totaling about 4 hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You can do dance lessons at the neighborhood studio down the street, and be active, learn some grace and musicality, and have fun with neighborhood friends. You can play rec soccer from age 3 to high school. You can take gymnastics classes and never go to a competition.

I consider this a bigger waste than the more competitive and expensive activities. If you’re going to have your kid downs so much time doing something at least let them learn what excellence is and what it takes to become good at something instead of spending a lot of time on something mediocre or low quality. What a waste of time.

I will never, ever understand this mentality. Kids (and adults because you are never too old to learn new stuff) can enjoy various hobbies without having to excel at them. You can still learn a ton from an activity without having to be top tier. You can still develop friendships. And, you can have, wait for it, ....F-U-N. Crazy, right? I think this idea of having to be tip-top at something is very American. Maybe it's the individualistic/you need to outshine your neighbor/average is a 4- letter word thing. It's like so many parents think their kid will be the next big thing and do not see anything of value in the activity itself.

This is a much better way to explain why I think all the hand wringing about participation trophies is nonsense. We'd be better off if there were much more participation generally.