Extracurriculars you regret supporting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one has mentioned crew? Huge money and time commitment. Lot of hyper competitive parents thinking that it’s their kid’s route to an Ivy and spending all kinds of money on camps and team fundraising. Mediocre coaching. And let’s face it - not a super transferable skill.

How is it a bigger money or time investment than other sports? At advanced levels, it seems just as demanding as sports like swimming, skating, gymnastics, etc.?

[Anonymous]

Can I answer the opposite - my parents never forced me to stick with anything and I didn't want to stick with anything so I had no extracurriculars and deeply regret that. I'm not going to force my kids to do something they don't like, but I am definitely going to encourage them to stick with rec sports, for example.

I refuse to do travel soccer, I have lost too many friends to travel soccer. It is a cult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Club rugby in college. Over half of the team has been injured during games. Because it is a club sport there is no support for these players in navigating the college and getting supports after an injury. Our dd was injured in the spring and is still seeing a doctor about her head injury. This is a dangerous sport without coaches and should not be allowed without school supports in place.

They didn’t have coaches? How did that work, did they just coach themselves?

NP. My DD does club swimming in college, and her team competes against colleges anywhere from 30 min to 4 hours away, plus nationals (which were at Ga Tech) last Spring for those who qualified. There is no coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is learning to fly. The pilots license isn’t too bad compared to other activities. It’s the continued plane rental when she wants to fly. She is working at the airport so she is contributing but it’s still a lot.

For whatever it's worth, if she eventually earns a CFI, it will pay off.

- CFI, still trying to rationalize the money

My nephew has a CFI. But, his parents have a plane that they share with one other family.

[Anonymous]

Lacrosse. Insanely expensive, crazy parents, way too many kids on each team. Thankfully DD dropped it as a tween.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My daughter is learning to fly. The pilots license isn’t too bad compared to other activities. It’s the continued plane rental when she wants to fly. She is working at the airport so she is contributing but it’s still a lot.

For whatever it's worth, if she eventually earns a CFI, it will pay off.

- CFI, still trying to rationalize the money

My nephew has a CFI. But, his parents have a plane that they share with one other family.

This is definitely a cheaper way to do it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Not one mention of football.

Few pursue that sport in educated urban areas. It's a terribly ugly and dangerous sport. We neither watch it, nor allow our DCs to play it. We have zero friends with kids in football. You have to be huge physically too (usually overweight) and willing to damage your brain.

I have seen research that tackle under age 13 is bad. I have seen research done on pro football players, who play for year, about CTE. I have not seen anything that says playing a couple years of high school football is worse than other contact sports. If you have, please share.

I would discourage other contact sports too. My kids do swim team.

I have seen several swimmers slam their head into the wall during a backstroke race.

My kid isn't that fast

Haha, same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is learning to fly. The pilots license isn’t too bad compared to other activities. It’s the continued plane rental when she wants to fly. She is working at the airport so she is contributing but it’s still a lot.

For whatever it's worth, if she eventually earns a CFI, it will pay off.

- CFI, still trying to rationalize the money

This seems like a bad idea for a teen girl. Unless her flight instructor is a woman. A young teen girl spending a lot of 1:1 time, including up in a plane with a middle aged man is a terrible idea.

No, it's fine (I'm the flight instructor PP and a woman). I learned to fly at 19, have always had male CFI's, and small aircraft are...how do I put this delicately? They're squirrely. There's no auto-pilot. Consensual mile-high club stuff is possible, but I've literally never heard of a middle aged CFI putting his hands on a student. It's just something something you do when you're that close in the ground in a plane that requires constant corrections.

I would agree that ground school probably should be done at the FBO with an open door, or in a group classroom setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not one mention of football.

Few pursue that sport in educated urban areas. It's a terribly ugly and dangerous sport. We neither watch it, nor allow our DCs to play it. We have zero friends with kids in football. You have to be huge physically too (usually overweight) and willing to damage your brain.

This is the absolute dumbest thing I've ever read. As if the academically elite private schools don't have football programs.

Nobody has mentioned football in this thread because generally, the people that enroll their kids in youth football don't regret. They are by and large, good programs

My 10 year old DS is at an academically elite private school in an area where football is huge, and yes, while his school has football, we don't allow him to play it. PP is correct that it's a dangerous sport and I don't understand parents who are willing to risk their child's neurological development. As far as it being a a good program? No. It's not. These are kids who don't need athletic scholarships to go to college, so really all their doing is risking their kids' health for nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is learning to fly. The pilots license isn’t too bad compared to other activities. It’s the continued plane rental when she wants to fly. She is working at the airport so she is contributing but it’s still a lot.

For whatever it's worth, if she eventually earns a CFI, it will pay off.

- CFI, still trying to rationalize the money

This seems like a bad idea for a teen girl. Unless her flight instructor is a woman. A young teen girl spending a lot of 1:1 time, including up in a plane with a middle aged man is a terrible idea.

It worked out great for my cousin. She started flying commercial at the youngest age possible and made captain in her mid-twenties and a major airline. Not sure she'll ever have kids. She's definitely living her best life in terms of traveling the world doing something she enjoys.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have multiple kids HS and college aged. Here is my list of what I do not regret and what I regretted.

Do not regret: hip hop competition dance, travel soccer, math competitions/classes, robotics competitions/classes, rock climbing, swim

Regret: theater, chess club/competitions, martial arts

Why do you regret chess and martial arts?

Chess because of the bullying and nasty behavior from the kids that was tolerated. Lots of nasty comments about kids who didn’t play as well, or who were just learning. Math competitions and robotics require team cooperation and the kids were much nicer.

Martial arts because of what the other PP identified: it really started to feel a bit like a scam. And frankly the physical workout wasn’t very good compared to some of the other sports my kids did.

We never experienced this with chess. Though we do live outside of, and away from NYC. I did sense an edge of competitiveness, as much with the parents as with some of the kids in the NYC crowd. I guess like every sport, the more money you have, the more you can & will throw at it. If no other reason than Larlo MUST be the best.

Online bullying in the chess club (here in NOVA) opened everyone’s eyes to the dangers of the “chat function” right at the start of the Coronavirus pandemic quarantine.

Chess kids were super nasty to each other!

Who woulda guessed?

DP. I was really surprised at the nastiness of chess. Kids were unbelievably mean.

This is eye-opening to me (I have a kid who likes chess but has never done it in any organized way).

+1. I have a kid who likes it too and is doing an online class/play….really not interested in getting kid involved in a mean thing….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:gymnastics

Care to elaborate on the reasons why? Too much time and money?

former elite club gymnast here

i was a child so i dont really know the costs, but they must have been HUGE over my 10+ years as a competitive gymnast

practice - 5x a week. parents paid for the lessons. mom drove me to and from

meets-- we traveled. a lot. often overnight. parents paid

leotards-- every year, new team competition leotard plus a practice one

choreo-- this costs $$ new music, that costs $$. you want a new floor routine? that costs $$ and oh yeah, she's required to have a new routine every year if she wants to be competitive.

and then when i was learning a new skill at 15, i shattered my right arm. bones came out. have 2 plates and 14 screws.

plus i "used" my body up so young. My knees, back, everything aches....

dont do it.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised no one said modeling!!! Also sewing classes are worthless too. Who really sews anything anymore?? It’s a good skill to know - at least it’s not competitive unless you’re trying for one of those sewing competitions.

[Anonymous]

Ballet for sure!!!

[Anonymous]

Tennis anyone?