Extracurriculars you regret supporting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting sucked into "travel" sports when they were really a money-making situation (think B teams). The problem was that, my kids liked playing sports, but weren't amazing. Yet, at a certain point, there were no more rec/lighter options. So we did travel soccer and travel lacrosse, driving endless hours to far away places to play teams when they could have played appropriately matched teams near to home. This was especially problematic with girls lacrosse. So, it's not so much the activity, but the level. These teams are not elite and there is no need to complicate the landscape so much.

My kids are the same, loved playing, pretty good, not amazing. The thing I liked about travel was it kept them really busy, active, and they learned to structure their time (to get homework done and still have time with friends). I feel like busy teens don’t have as much time to get into trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You can do dance lessons at the neighborhood studio down the street, and be active, learn some grace and musicality, and have fun with neighborhood friends. You can play rec soccer from age 3 to high school. You can take gymnastics classes and never go to a competition.

I consider this a bigger waste than the more competitive and expensive activities. If you’re going to have your kid downs so much time doing something at least let them learn what excellence is and what it takes to become good at something instead of spending a lot of time on something mediocre or low quality. What a waste of time.

How sad. If your kid likes to play the piano but won't make it to Julliard, he should just quit? What if he really likes playing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Competitive dance - costumes, makeup, dance moves, etc. Who are they trying to impress? Creeps?

+1

Competitive dance has been a life save for my daughter

[Anonymous]

Horseback riding 😂 that was a pandemic activity since it was outside.

[Anonymous]

Not into it but the whole travel sports industry is pretty laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:gymnastics

Care to elaborate on the reasons why? Too much time and money?

I did competitive gymnastics for only a few years and it ruined my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:gymnastics

Care to elaborate on the reasons why? Too much time and money?

I did competitive gymnastics for only a few years and it ruined my life.

This doesn't explain. How did it ruin your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting sucked into "travel" sports when they were really a money-making situation (think B teams). The problem was that, my kids liked playing sports, but weren't amazing. Yet, at a certain point, there were no more rec/lighter options. So we did travel soccer and travel lacrosse, driving endless hours to far away places to play teams when they could have played appropriately matched teams near to home. This was especially problematic with girls lacrosse. So, it's not so much the activity, but the level. These teams are not elite and there is no need to complicate the landscape so much.

My kids are the same, loved playing, pretty good, not amazing. The thing I liked about travel was it kept them really busy, active, and they learned to structure their time (to get homework done and still have time with friends). I feel like busy teens don’t have as much time to get into trouble.

This is my mindset as well. My kids loved their rec experience, but they started to get to be big fish in a small pond. That's not to say they were amazing, but they were pretty good and they themselves wanted more competition and higher level coaching. We moved to club/travel and it wasn't the insane travel that some in those sports do, we weren't going to Florida for tournaments, but there were a few tournament weekends a few states away where we had to get hotel rooms. And there were late practices where we weren't home until after 10pm some nights.

But for my kids at least, the busier they were, the better they used their time. And their sports experiences really built their confidence, they put themselves out there in ways I never would have dared at their age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Travel hockey. Insanely expensive, consuming our weekends and holidays, bullying in the locker rooms due to teams spanning two birth years, unequal playing time due to parent coaches, gossipy parents.

Yikes, not our experience at all (except the expensive part).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not into it but the whole travel sports industry is pretty laughable.

Why?

[Anonymous]

We are (were?) a roller skate family and it could've quickly gotten out-of-hand. We are blessed with an amazing world-class coach and a small local and family rink less than 20 minutes away. But we fought back on the crazy practice schedules of both time, timing, and quantity and dialed back our DCs expectations. I also fought with the coach on the seemingly required fancy outfits, makeup, and hair (none of which the boys had to do). Finally, now 10+ years in, she has come around to our way of thinking and the scoring has gotten far more technical and less subjective for those esoteric things to really matter (esp at our level). But I think both she and we are done. The younger set of kids (and their parents!) are ultra-competitive, even amongst themselves when there's no reason to be. There are no college scholarships or professional (other than teaching) opportunities. Luckily, ours continue to enjoy it at the local and even regional (MD to NC) level and will hopefully roll on well into adult-hood. No real regrets but a lot of angst at the start and in the middle.

The jury is still out on (HS) Marching Band. While the costs are nowhere near travel club sports, the time commitment is real and often brutal. Still, we're firm believers in music having a crucial role in our lives and the camaraderie ours have found 'in the band' has been amazing.

Glad we discarded the whole 'dance' thing. I am sooooo not a Dance Mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Competitive dance - costumes, makeup, dance moves, etc. Who are they trying to impress? Creeps?

Everyone gets a trophy. The medals and trophies became meaningless after awhile. The awards ceremonies were a joke.

So you want it to be even more competitive?

I think the point is that achievements are meaningless when everyone gets a trophy. Unlike, say, track and field when you are competing for a time or distance, something objective.

Where else can you work with a dance troupe and perform and perfect your routine? Seriously asking. Sometimes the "competition" is the excuse to do that.

But then again, I don't understand all the hand wringing with participation trophy nonsense. if adults simply participated in/executed better eating and exercise routines, we'd be a really healthy nation.

Some dance schools have performance teams/companies that rehearse choreography and then perform periodically throughout the school year in all sorts of different venues (ranging from traditional dance concerts to nursing homes, Christmas tree lightings, local fairs, halftime shows, etc.). These can be a nice alternative to the competition route.

My daughter refused to go the charity route. I would’ve been happy with that.

[Anonymous]

Gymnastics answers make me nervous lol. My son has be doing competitive gymnastics for 6 months. So far loves it, but seems like most of these responders are talking about women's gymnastics. Do the same issues apply for men?

[Anonymous]

There is a huge difference in the level of high school tennis close to DC and further out. I helped out and played with our local team further out. The #1 kid wound up playing at a small D3 school, but the level dropped after that, and the #5,6 kids were beginners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are (were?) a roller skate family and it could've quickly gotten out-of-hand. We are blessed with an amazing world-class coach and a small local and family rink less than 20 minutes away. But we fought back on the crazy practice schedules of both time, timing, and quantity and dialed back our DCs expectations. I also fought with the coach on the seemingly required fancy outfits, makeup, and hair (none of which the boys had to do). Finally, now 10+ years in, she has come around to our way of thinking and the scoring has gotten far more technical and less subjective for those esoteric things to really matter (esp at our level). But I think both she and we are done. The younger set of kids (and their parents!) are ultra-competitive, even amongst themselves when there's no reason to be. There are no college scholarships or professional (other than teaching) opportunities. Luckily, ours continue to enjoy it at the local and even regional (MD to NC) level and will hopefully roll on well into adult-hood. No real regrets but a lot of angst at the start and in the middle.

The jury is still out on (HS) Marching Band. While the costs are nowhere near travel club sports, the time commitment is real and often brutal. Still, we're firm believers in music having a crucial role in our lives and the camaraderie ours have found 'in the band' has been amazing.

Glad we discarded the whole 'dance' thing. I am sooooo not a Dance Mom.

What does competitive roller skate look like? Dance routines and coustumes?