Blindsided by in-laws inviting random cousin to Thanksgiving gathering?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I believe that people can redeem themselves from criminal mistakes made in their youth, but ultimately the support of the family for victims trumps that of the offender. Your DH seems to acknowledge that his family has every right to support the cousin. You are the one who wants to brush things under the rug because you are ashamed of your DH and your kids finding out about it.

The best parenting you and DH could do is for your DH to honestly acknowledge the HUGE mistake he made and explain to your sons that the consequences of his actions will follow him around for the rest of his life. The professional and legal repercussions and the personal/familial repercussions. One of which is that his family supports the cousins who made reasonable accusations given your DH's sex offenses.

Sexual predators can NEVER be redeemed or rehabilitated.

Why do you say this?

Are you really unaware that they have the highest recidivism rate? You seem like you’re just trolling.

OP here: I want to make it clear I wasn’t that poster. I am aware of the recidivism rate. His crimes are something I have had to come terms with and my decisions were made intelligently and made based on who he is and what he has done to better himself.

I know my husband, and I know how much work he has put in to better himself following his crimes. Because of that, I fully believe he has rehabilitated himself. I know that isn’t a guarantee he won’t struggle or even commit another crime, but I had to ask myself whether I believe he would be a part of those statistics. I think my answer to that question should be clear based on my decisions.

Your decision... to voice your displeasure that your in-laws invited a whistle-blower to their own home? You realize you cannot control who a home-owner invites; and that in this particular case, you REALLY don't have any right, since your husband is the person who seemed to be (or actually was) grooming a teen?

Your husband may be totally innocent in the letter-writing thing. But not many people will believe it since he has a prior history in a related activity. You really MUST understand this.

I hope you're a troll. If you're not, I would be very careful when inviting your children's friends into your home. Please never leave them alone with your husband, and make sure there are no hidden cameras anywhere in the house. Be very wary if your husband seeks to get a position of authority over minors: coach, school or church volunteer, carpool driver, etc... He seems to have that profile, unfortunately. Don't kid yourself. If his brain has these types of urges, it's really hard for him to resist without therapy or meds. It's not something you just snap out of. It's serious disorder.

OP here: My DH is fully compliant with all terms of his conviction. For a brief period he worked at an elementary school in a position with zero interaction with minors. He wasn’t seeking out a job at a school, however it was one he was qualified for. Prior to applying for this position, and prior to accepting it he discussed the specifics of the job with his parole officer and was told (incorrectly) that this would not be a violation (this was, as it turned out, not true).

He has consistently been in therapy and has (at times) been prescribed medication. Therapy was a condition of his release, and he has continued in therapy as it has been highly beneficial to him, both to address his issues that led to these decisions, but also to better improve himself.

Also, not to justify what he did, but I need to clarify that DH is not a pedophile. That does not diminish his crimes, but it does put them in perspective. He took several upskirt photos, one of which was of a 17 year old teenager. He did not know or have any reason to believe she was underage. He would never place himself in a position of authority over minors, and has no issues with his conditions of release prohibiting taking such positions, but I can tell you directly that the day he learned that one of his photos was of a minor, it broke him. Because it wasn’t his intention or desire to do so.

How is taking upskirt pics of a minor not being a pedophile?

Your sons will either be abused, or abusers themselves. So sad. Gross. How can you sleep at night? Literally asking.

NP. While OP describes a horrific scenario, these childish personal insults are nasty and unnecessary. Stick to calm criticisms and pointing out the obvious about her husband.

It’s not childish to ask a woman why she would knowingly marry and procreate with a sex offender who abused a minor.

But that's not what some of you are doing. One of you said OP must be pathetically insecure to settle for this guy, the immediate pp asked how she could sleep at night. Grow up. The facts are bad enough.

Is your name Jeff? Them stop trying to police the way others post. Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe that people can redeem themselves from criminal mistakes made in their youth, but ultimately the support of the family for victims trumps that of the offender. Your DH seems to acknowledge that his family has every right to support the cousin. You are the one who wants to brush things under the rug because you are ashamed of your DH and your kids finding out about it.

The best parenting you and DH could do is for your DH to honestly acknowledge the HUGE mistake he made and explain to your sons that the consequences of his actions will follow him around for the rest of his life. The professional and legal repercussions and the personal/familial repercussions. One of which is that his family supports the cousins who made reasonable accusations given your DH's sex offenses.

Sexual predators can NEVER be redeemed or rehabilitated.

Why do you say this?

Are you really unaware that they have the highest recidivism rate? You seem like you’re just trolling.

OP here: I want to make it clear I wasn’t that poster. I am aware of the recidivism rate. His crimes are something I have had to come terms with and my decisions were made intelligently and made based on who he is and what he has done to better himself.

I know my husband, and I know how much work he has put in to better himself following his crimes. Because of that, I fully believe he has rehabilitated himself. I know that isn’t a guarantee he won’t struggle or even commit another crime, but I had to ask myself whether I believe he would be a part of those statistics. I think my answer to that question should be clear based on my decisions.

Your decision... to voice your displeasure that your in-laws invited a whistle-blower to their own home? You realize you cannot control who a home-owner invites; and that in this particular case, you REALLY don't have any right, since your husband is the person who seemed to be (or actually was) grooming a teen?

Your husband may be totally innocent in the letter-writing thing. But not many people will believe it since he has a prior history in a related activity. You really MUST understand this.

I hope you're a troll. If you're not, I would be very careful when inviting your children's friends into your home. Please never leave them alone with your husband, and make sure there are no hidden cameras anywhere in the house. Be very wary if your husband seeks to get a position of authority over minors: coach, school or church volunteer, carpool driver, etc... He seems to have that profile, unfortunately. Don't kid yourself. If his brain has these types of urges, it's really hard for him to resist without therapy or meds. It's not something you just snap out of. It's serious disorder.

OP here: My DH is fully compliant with all terms of his conviction. For a brief period he worked at an elementary school in a position with zero interaction with minors. He wasn’t seeking out a job at a school, however it was one he was qualified for. Prior to applying for this position, and prior to accepting it he discussed the specifics of the job with his parole officer and was told (incorrectly) that this would not be a violation (this was, as it turned out, not true).

He has consistently been in therapy and has (at times) been prescribed medication. Therapy was a condition of his release, and he has continued in therapy as it has been highly beneficial to him, both to address his issues that led to these decisions, but also to better improve himself.

Also, not to justify what he did, but I need to clarify that DH is not a pedophile. That does not diminish his crimes, but it does put them in perspective. He took several upskirt photos, one of which was of a 17 year old teenager. He did not know or have any reason to believe she was underage. He would never place himself in a position of authority over minors, and has no issues with his conditions of release prohibiting taking such positions, but I can tell you directly that the day he learned that one of his photos was of a minor, it broke him. Because it wasn’t his intention or desire to do so.

Question: Do you think parents have authority over their minor children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe that people can redeem themselves from criminal mistakes made in their youth, but ultimately the support of the family for victims trumps that of the offender. Your DH seems to acknowledge that his family has every right to support the cousin. You are the one who wants to brush things under the rug because you are ashamed of your DH and your kids finding out about it.

The best parenting you and DH could do is for your DH to honestly acknowledge the HUGE mistake he made and explain to your sons that the consequences of his actions will follow him around for the rest of his life. The professional and legal repercussions and the personal/familial repercussions. One of which is that his family supports the cousins who made reasonable accusations given your DH's sex offenses.

Sexual predators can NEVER be redeemed or rehabilitated.

Why do you say this?

Are you really unaware that they have the highest recidivism rate? You seem like you’re just trolling.

OP here: I want to make it clear I wasn’t that poster. I am aware of the recidivism rate. His crimes are something I have had to come terms with and my decisions were made intelligently and made based on who he is and what he has done to better himself.

I know my husband, and I know how much work he has put in to better himself following his crimes. Because of that, I fully believe he has rehabilitated himself. I know that isn’t a guarantee he won’t struggle or even commit another crime, but I had to ask myself whether I believe he would be a part of those statistics. I think my answer to that question should be clear based on my decisions.

Your decision... to voice your displeasure that your in-laws invited a whistle-blower to their own home? You realize you cannot control who a home-owner invites; and that in this particular case, you REALLY don't have any right, since your husband is the person who seemed to be (or actually was) grooming a teen?

Your husband may be totally innocent in the letter-writing thing. But not many people will believe it since he has a prior history in a related activity. You really MUST understand this.

I hope you're a troll. If you're not, I would be very careful when inviting your children's friends into your home. Please never leave them alone with your husband, and make sure there are no hidden cameras anywhere in the house. Be very wary if your husband seeks to get a position of authority over minors: coach, school or church volunteer, carpool driver, etc... He seems to have that profile, unfortunately. Don't kid yourself. If his brain has these types of urges, it's really hard for him to resist without therapy or meds. It's not something you just snap out of. It's serious disorder.

OP here: My DH is fully compliant with all terms of his conviction. For a brief period he worked at an elementary school in a position with zero interaction with minors. He wasn’t seeking out a job at a school, however it was one he was qualified for. Prior to applying for this position, and prior to accepting it he discussed the specifics of the job with his parole officer and was told (incorrectly) that this would not be a violation (this was, as it turned out, not true).

He has consistently been in therapy and has (at times) been prescribed medication. Therapy was a condition of his release, and he has continued in therapy as it has been highly beneficial to him, both to address his issues that led to these decisions, but also to better improve himself.

Also, not to justify what he did, but I need to clarify that DH is not a pedophile. That does not diminish his crimes, but it does put them in perspective. He took several upskirt photos, one of which was of a 17 year old teenager. He did not know or have any reason to believe she was underage. He would never place himself in a position of authority over minors, and has no issues with his conditions of release prohibiting taking such positions, but I can tell you directly that the day he learned that one of his photos was of a minor, it broke him. Because it wasn’t his intention or desire to do so.

How is taking upskirt pics of a minor not being a pedophile?

Your sons will either be abused, or abusers themselves. So sad. Gross. How can you sleep at night? Literally asking.

NP. While OP describes a horrific scenario, these childish personal insults are nasty and unnecessary. Stick to calm criticisms and pointing out the obvious about her husband.

It’s not childish to ask a woman why she would knowingly marry and procreate with a sex offender who abused a minor.

Why on earth would you expect a person described thusly to give you an answer that satisfied you? Come on. She is defending and minimizing his behavior, as many, many have done before about partners with this history.

FWIW I completely believe that OP’s husband is unlikely to be someone who specifically seeks out kids. Predators like that are generally very specific and their history would be unlikely to include abusing adult women. I think it’s a stretch to have a real fear that the man described is a danger to young children. A 17yo is easily mistaken for an 18yo, so arguably he’s a bigger threat to older teen girls. Either way, OP is not going to give you a real answer about why she chose what she chose.

Yes, except that he purposefully chose a job at an elementary school, only to "find out" that he wasn't allowed to.

Several options:

1. OP is a troll.
2. Her husband is a threat to minors.
3. Her husband is a threat to young adult women.

So if this is real, there is no way this ends well for OP and her children. She should divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe that people can redeem themselves from criminal mistakes made in their youth, but ultimately the support of the family for victims trumps that of the offender. Your DH seems to acknowledge that his family has every right to support the cousin. You are the one who wants to brush things under the rug because you are ashamed of your DH and your kids finding out about it.

The best parenting you and DH could do is for your DH to honestly acknowledge the HUGE mistake he made and explain to your sons that the consequences of his actions will follow him around for the rest of his life. The professional and legal repercussions and the personal/familial repercussions. One of which is that his family supports the cousins who made reasonable accusations given your DH's sex offenses.

Sexual predators can NEVER be redeemed or rehabilitated.

Why do you say this?

Are you really unaware that they have the highest recidivism rate? You seem like you’re just trolling.

OP here: I want to make it clear I wasn’t that poster. I am aware of the recidivism rate. His crimes are something I have had to come terms with and my decisions were made intelligently and made based on who he is and what he has done to better himself.

I know my husband, and I know how much work he has put in to better himself following his crimes. Because of that, I fully believe he has rehabilitated himself. I know that isn’t a guarantee he won’t struggle or even commit another crime, but I had to ask myself whether I believe he would be a part of those statistics. I think my answer to that question should be clear based on my decisions.

Your decision... to voice your displeasure that your in-laws invited a whistle-blower to their own home? You realize you cannot control who a home-owner invites; and that in this particular case, you REALLY don't have any right, since your husband is the person who seemed to be (or actually was) grooming a teen?

Your husband may be totally innocent in the letter-writing thing. But not many people will believe it since he has a prior history in a related activity. You really MUST understand this.

I hope you're a troll. If you're not, I would be very careful when inviting your children's friends into your home. Please never leave them alone with your husband, and make sure there are no hidden cameras anywhere in the house. Be very wary if your husband seeks to get a position of authority over minors: coach, school or church volunteer, carpool driver, etc... He seems to have that profile, unfortunately. Don't kid yourself. If his brain has these types of urges, it's really hard for him to resist without therapy or meds. It's not something you just snap out of. It's serious disorder.

OP here: My DH is fully compliant with all terms of his conviction. For a brief period he worked at an elementary school in a position with zero interaction with minors. He wasn’t seeking out a job at a school, however it was one he was qualified for. Prior to applying for this position, and prior to accepting it he discussed the specifics of the job with his parole officer and was told (incorrectly) that this would not be a violation (this was, as it turned out, not true).

He has consistently been in therapy and has (at times) been prescribed medication. Therapy was a condition of his release, and he has continued in therapy as it has been highly beneficial to him, both to address his issues that led to these decisions, but also to better improve himself.

Also, not to justify what he did, but I need to clarify that DH is not a pedophile. That does not diminish his crimes, but it does put them in perspective. He took several upskirt photos, one of which was of a 17 year old teenager. He did not know or have any reason to believe she was underage. He would never place himself in a position of authority over minors, and has no issues with his conditions of release prohibiting taking such positions, but I can tell you directly that the day he learned that one of his photos was of a minor, it broke him. Because it wasn’t his intention or desire to do so.

How is taking upskirt pics of a minor not being a pedophile?

Your sons will either be abused, or abusers themselves. So sad. Gross. How can you sleep at night? Literally asking.

NP. While OP describes a horrific scenario, these childish personal insults are nasty and unnecessary. Stick to calm criticisms and pointing out the obvious about her husband.

It’s not childish to ask a woman why she would knowingly marry and procreate with a sex offender who abused a minor.

But that's not what some of you are doing. One of you said OP must be pathetically insecure to settle for this guy, the immediate pp asked how she could sleep at night. Grow up. The facts are bad enough.

Is your name Jeff? Them stop trying to police the way others post. Thanks in advance.

Just trying to prevent this already horrific conversation from descending into the usual DCUM mudpit of ad hominems. But you do you.

[Anonymous]

Notice that not once has OP returned to comment on her own behavior during the dinner.


Jeff has checked that this person is not a known troll, but it certainly looks like trolling.

[Anonymous]

OP does not want to divorce. She separated from him and then reconciled. She wants his family not to invite his accuser to holidays. She may be fully in denial about her husband’s history and urges, or she may actually be right. There are a LOT of men who do exactly the stuff that’s described and never get busted. Other men think it’s cool. There are ways for those kinds of predators to rehabilitate socially if they don’t get arrested, but he did and now it’s all fair game.

FWIW based on OP’s story, I’m getting “toxic masculinity and lack of boundaries and limited insight into what appropriate behavior is” and not “dangerous to young children.” If you actually wanted to understand why she married him, based on my experience with wives like her, it’s because he’s not actually dangerous to her kids. Their babysitter, maybe. OP’s female friends. But he is unlikely to abuse their kids based on his profile, and that’s how wives like her justify it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe that people can redeem themselves from criminal mistakes made in their youth, but ultimately the support of the family for victims trumps that of the offender. Your DH seems to acknowledge that his family has every right to support the cousin. You are the one who wants to brush things under the rug because you are ashamed of your DH and your kids finding out about it.

The best parenting you and DH could do is for your DH to honestly acknowledge the HUGE mistake he made and explain to your sons that the consequences of his actions will follow him around for the rest of his life. The professional and legal repercussions and the personal/familial repercussions. One of which is that his family supports the cousins who made reasonable accusations given your DH's sex offenses.

Sexual predators can NEVER be redeemed or rehabilitated.

Why do you say this?

Are you really unaware that they have the highest recidivism rate? You seem like you’re just trolling.

OP here: I want to make it clear I wasn’t that poster. I am aware of the recidivism rate. His crimes are something I have had to come terms with and my decisions were made intelligently and made based on who he is and what he has done to better himself.

I know my husband, and I know how much work he has put in to better himself following his crimes. Because of that, I fully believe he has rehabilitated himself. I know that isn’t a guarantee he won’t struggle or even commit another crime, but I had to ask myself whether I believe he would be a part of those statistics. I think my answer to that question should be clear based on my decisions.

Your decision... to voice your displeasure that your in-laws invited a whistle-blower to their own home? You realize you cannot control who a home-owner invites; and that in this particular case, you REALLY don't have any right, since your husband is the person who seemed to be (or actually was) grooming a teen?

Your husband may be totally innocent in the letter-writing thing. But not many people will believe it since he has a prior history in a related activity. You really MUST understand this.

I hope you're a troll. If you're not, I would be very careful when inviting your children's friends into your home. Please never leave them alone with your husband, and make sure there are no hidden cameras anywhere in the house. Be very wary if your husband seeks to get a position of authority over minors: coach, school or church volunteer, carpool driver, etc... He seems to have that profile, unfortunately. Don't kid yourself. If his brain has these types of urges, it's really hard for him to resist without therapy or meds. It's not something you just snap out of. It's serious disorder.

OP here: My DH is fully compliant with all terms of his conviction. For a brief period he worked at an elementary school in a position with zero interaction with minors. He wasn’t seeking out a job at a school, however it was one he was qualified for. Prior to applying for this position, and prior to accepting it he discussed the specifics of the job with his parole officer and was told (incorrectly) that this would not be a violation (this was, as it turned out, not true).

He has consistently been in therapy and has (at times) been prescribed medication. Therapy was a condition of his release, and he has continued in therapy as it has been highly beneficial to him, both to address his issues that led to these decisions, but also to better improve himself.

Also, not to justify what he did, but I need to clarify that DH is not a pedophile. That does not diminish his crimes, but it does put them in perspective. He took several upskirt photos, one of which was of a 17 year old teenager. He did not know or have any reason to believe she was underage. He would never place himself in a position of authority over minors, and has no issues with his conditions of release prohibiting taking such positions, but I can tell you directly that the day he learned that one of his photos was of a minor, it broke him. Because it wasn’t his intention or desire to do so.

How is taking upskirt pics of a minor not being a pedophile?

Your sons will either be abused, or abusers themselves. So sad. Gross. How can you sleep at night? Literally asking.

You need to look up the definition of pedophile. What OP has described, while disgusting, is not pedophilia.

[Anonymous]

They had a penal relationship?? I had to Google this. This means he was writing to her from prison. An adult man writing to a prepubescent girl from prison, where he was residing due to being a sexual predator. Wow. What were her parents thinking to allow that? Thank God for big brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was sad because the teenager he was taking photos of was 17 and not 18.

Exactly. "Now I'm really it trouble" She says it "broke him" OMG.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They had a penal relationship?? I had to Google this. This means he was writing to her from prison. An adult man writing to a prepubescent girl from prison, where he was residing due to being a sexual predator. Wow. What were her parents thinking to allow that? Thank God for big brother.

I was wondering about the "penal" relationship too and now I know. A tween girl receives letters from sexual predator in prison. Her big brother steps up to say " no can do." The cousin is a hero.

[Anonymous]

Oh wow. I thought it was a typo for penpal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe that people can redeem themselves from criminal mistakes made in their youth, but ultimately the support of the family for victims trumps that of the offender. Your DH seems to acknowledge that his family has every right to support the cousin. You are the one who wants to brush things under the rug because you are ashamed of your DH and your kids finding out about it.

The best parenting you and DH could do is for your DH to honestly acknowledge the HUGE mistake he made and explain to your sons that the consequences of his actions will follow him around for the rest of his life. The professional and legal repercussions and the personal/familial repercussions. One of which is that his family supports the cousins who made reasonable accusations given your DH's sex offenses.

Sexual predators can NEVER be redeemed or rehabilitated.

Why do you say this?

Are you really unaware that they have the highest recidivism rate? You seem like you’re just trolling.

OP here: I want to make it clear I wasn’t that poster. I am aware of the recidivism rate. His crimes are something I have had to come terms with and my decisions were made intelligently and made based on who he is and what he has done to better himself.

I know my husband, and I know how much work he has put in to better himself following his crimes. Because of that, I fully believe he has rehabilitated himself. I know that isn’t a guarantee he won’t struggle or even commit another crime, but I had to ask myself whether I believe he would be a part of those statistics. I think my answer to that question should be clear based on my decisions.

Your decision... to voice your displeasure that your in-laws invited a whistle-blower to their own home? You realize you cannot control who a home-owner invites; and that in this particular case, you REALLY don't have any right, since your husband is the person who seemed to be (or actually was) grooming a teen?

Your husband may be totally innocent in the letter-writing thing. But not many people will believe it since he has a prior history in a related activity. You really MUST understand this.

I hope you're a troll. If you're not, I would be very careful when inviting your children's friends into your home. Please never leave them alone with your husband, and make sure there are no hidden cameras anywhere in the house. Be very wary if your husband seeks to get a position of authority over minors: coach, school or church volunteer, carpool driver, etc... He seems to have that profile, unfortunately. Don't kid yourself. If his brain has these types of urges, it's really hard for him to resist without therapy or meds. It's not something you just snap out of. It's serious disorder.

OP here: My DH is fully compliant with all terms of his conviction. For a brief period he worked at an elementary school in a position with zero interaction with minors. He wasn’t seeking out a job at a school, however it was one he was qualified for. Prior to applying for this position, and prior to accepting it he discussed the specifics of the job with his parole officer and was told (incorrectly) that this would not be a violation (this was, as it turned out, not true).

He has consistently been in therapy and has (at times) been prescribed medication. Therapy was a condition of his release, and he has continued in therapy as it has been highly beneficial to him, both to address his issues that led to these decisions, but also to better improve himself.

Also, not to justify what he did, but I need to clarify that DH is not a pedophile. That does not diminish his crimes, but it does put them in perspective. He took several upskirt photos, one of which was of a 17 year old teenager. He did not know or have any reason to believe she was underage. He would never place himself in a position of authority over minors, and has no issues with his conditions of release prohibiting taking such positions, but I can tell you directly that the day he learned that one of his photos was of a minor, it broke him. Because it wasn’t his intention or desire to do so.

How is taking upskirt pics of a minor not being a pedophile?

Your sons will either be abused, or abusers themselves. So sad. Gross. How can you sleep at night? Literally asking.

You need to look up the definition of pedophile. What OP has described, while disgusting, is not pedophilia.

Better safe than sorry. He wrote to an underage girl cousin while in prison for sex offenses. He took upskirt pics of young women, didn't know their age. I am far, far staying away from this guy. I know lots of guys with many problems. These problems arising to this level is not bad luck.

[Anonymous]

Guys, I don't think that OP meant what you thought she meant by "penal relationship." It was clearly a typo for "penpal" relationship based on everything else being described. Googling "penal relationship" leads to a lot of scary stuff about people initiating romantic relationships from prison/with prisoners, and that is demonstrably not what was happening here. Some of y'all need to dial it way, way back on the panic meter. You do not know these people. YOUR kids are safe as houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I thought it was a typo for penpal.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys, I don't think that OP meant what you thought she meant by "penal relationship." It was clearly a typo for "penpal" relationship based on everything else being described. Googling "penal relationship" leads to a lot of scary stuff about people initiating romantic relationships from prison/with prisoners, and that is demonstrably not what was happening here. Some of y'all need to dial it way, way back on the panic meter. You do not know these people. YOUR kids are safe as houses.

The husband was in prison/jail. How do you know she didn’t use the correct word?