Lack of respect for house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have learned that everyone has super different ideas of what is and is not appropriate. I’m from the Uk where it’s a given that you strip your bed after you stay somewhere so the host can easily wash your sheets. Virtually none of my us guests do this which are first I thought was beyond rude but now I understand it’s just a cultural difference

In my view, it is extremely rude to strip beds without ***asking the host first.***

When you politely ASK what would be helpful to your host and then LISTEN to the answer, you may learn that some do indeed prefer for the beds to be stripped, and some prefer that you just leave it as-is (but I always neatly make the bed and make sure the room is tidy).

They may have a laundry schedule you don’t know about, or a cleaning service coming on a day you don’t know about, it. They may prefer to have one day of guests being gone to relax before they tackle chores.

ASSuming is rude. ASKING is polite.

+1, my mom just wants guests to leave the sheets on the beds. She hates having a giant pile of laundry after guests leave. She just works her way around, washing the sheets when she is ready to.

Stripping the bed doesn't mean that the laundry must be washed urgently

For me it does. I don't like seeing a pile of sheets just sitting there -- it causes me anxiety. I have never had guests strip beds without asking first though, so thankfully have never had this problem.

If a pile of laundry triggers you that sounds like a mental problem. Can’t you move the pile to the laundry room or a hamper? Personally, I hate stripping beds so if someone does it for me and all I have to do is carry it to the laundry room I’m thrilled. I have about ten loads of laundry piled up in the laundry room right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at the level of anger at OP. I host a lot and my guests are super considerate about my furniture and always ask about whether or not to strip the bed. Wet towels shouldn’t be left anywhere but in a bathroom.

However, we did host family for thanksgiving and it was a total shitshow. Kids dragging food all over the house, urine all over the toilet seats, jumping on the couch with shoes on, sticky lollipops left in my reading chair. I was so tired of redirecting kids who wandered into the living room with handfuls of bagels and cream cheese while their parents just shrugged and laughed. I love having family around but I can’t handle that again any time soon.

I’ve experienced your Thanksgiving shitshow. Why do people act like that or allow their children to act like that? Some on this thread will say you should have communicated your expectations, but should a host have to tell visitors not to jump on the couch with their shoes or to walk around the house with food. I can only think about how shitty their own house must be, and how inconsiderate they are to never consider that others may not live that way. I’m with you and OP.

[Anonymous]

OP - when things aren't to your liking, you do not have guests back. That's it. Hotel going forward, always.

[Anonymous]

If you strip the bed and pillows you may see stains....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I take good care of my things and have definitely had inconsiderate guests, but I try to keep it in perspective. Shocked? None of things you mentioned are shocking and try to value the people more than the furniture. I enjoy hosting and some wear-and-tear is part of the cost of hosting. If rings on the wood mean we had a great time drinking around the table, I can make a peace with that.

Honestly, I don't why the wet towels upset you. If they gathered all the linens and towels together --that's being a pretty good guest. If you want them to hang it in the bathroom in a specific way (because apparently leaving it on the towel rack is not acceptable?), just casually mention it. I would be walking on eggshells in your house.

OP here. Wet towels left on towel racks, spread to dry would be ideal. If a washcloth was immersed for face washing or bathing, wrung and hung would be nice.

OP you’re being too uptight about this. My MIL just left and her wet towel was in a pile of stripped bedsheets and blankets. Oh well, it’s all getting washed. My FIL constantly sets his drink down without a coaster, so I just grab one and put it on the glass for him when I see it. If you’re so upright that you can’t handle this stuff, don’t host. Homes are made to be lived in, not treated like a museum. And you can’t control your guests so just let it go!

People who don’t use coasters live like animals and must have cheap as** furniture. I literally don’t understand it. How hard is it to grab the coaster placed 3 inches from your drink?

[Anonymous]

NP. Lots of DCUMers can afford replace the sofa upholstery or deep clean the rug or get a new bedside table when the old one is covered in rings. But not everybody can. Don't know if this is the case with OP, but sometimes it's not simply carelessness about their house, it's carelessness about their wallet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP went to an elite college guys, and she was an RA. Apparently the rest of us went to dumb dumb state schools and are from trashy families without good breeding, like OP.

OP, the fact that you need to bring up the fact that you went to an elite college and were an RA on a thread about wet towels says more about you than your guests. Also, the RAs j remember from my undergrad years (also at an “elite” college, gag!) were all rule-obsessed losers on power trips who were hell bent on ruining the fun the rest of us wanted to have because they didn’t have any friends. FWIW.

You had me until the dumb, dumb state school comment. I went to a state school, still raised with manners, now live in an expensive house with expensive furnishings ( despite my DH and I both going to state schools as first generation college students we are now worth millions). I’m mortified at how some people live - it’s just gross and I can’t fathom not being a good house guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at the level of anger at OP. I host a lot and my guests are super considerate about my furniture and always ask about whether or not to strip the bed. Wet towels shouldn’t be left anywhere but in a bathroom.

However, we did host family for thanksgiving and it was a total shitshow. Kids dragging food all over the house, urine all over the toilet seats, jumping on the couch with shoes on, sticky lollipops left in my reading chair. I was so tired of redirecting kids who wandered into the living room with handfuls of bagels and cream cheese while their parents just shrugged and laughed. I love having family around but I can’t handle that again any time soon.

I’ve experienced your Thanksgiving shitshow. Why do people act like that or allow their children to act like that? Some on this thread will say you should have communicated your expectations, but should a host have to tell visitors not to jump on the couch with their shoes or to walk around the house with food. I can only think about how shitty their own house must be, and how inconsiderate they are to never consider that others may not live that way. I’m with you and OP.

I don't know, but I'm not shy about correcting kids in my home. "Larlo, in our house, we don't walk around with food." Can you please take that back to the kitchen. I've gotten some stinkeyes over the years and i really don't care.