Lack of respect for house

[Anonymous]

Oh no! Wet towels and water marks!

Next time leave coasters out, dummy. And your guests were being polite by putting all the dirty sheets and towels together. No doubt that if they had left the towels hanging, you would be here complaining that you had to walk all the way down to the bathroom to collect dirty towels your guests failed to gather for you.

The scratches, though, were probably from frustration of hearing you blabber about your elite private college over and over. No one cares, Cheryl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family is full of these difficult guests who believe that because they’re guests the host should let them do anything or else they’re rude, but they are also completely oblivious and messy. My mom claims our water is too harsh on her face to use with her usual cleanser and makeup remover, so she doesn’t use either and says “it’s never been a problem at my own house”. She’ll partially wash her face and then spread makeup and mascara all over the sheets and pillowcases. After the first time I bought a set of sheets just for her to ruin. Of course, the next time she showed up after that she came into the kitchen to let me know that I had put stained sheets on her bed. She asked for fresh ones and accused me of giving her a bed with used sheets on it.

Yes your mom sounds difficult. This has happened to me where my in laws live in South America. My shampoo and conditioner don’t wurk either the water. I shower and then wash my hair with bottled water l buy and bring into the house. I would never complain sbiyr the water to a host when it’s something l can easily fix myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are kinda interesting, and thanks for sharing. They seem to be in three camps : 1) you need to expect wear-and-tear because people have different standards, and some live rough; 2) you need to instruct your guests how to meet your standards or hover over them for the quick save. 3) you shouldn’t host.

To me, it’s astonishing that so many would-be visitors struggle with the basics.

Then again, I attended an elite private college and was a RA. I recall that some students thought it was their “right” to tear up the dorm because their parents paid rent. They didn’t seem to understand or want to understand that rent was for reasonable use of the space, not abuse.

I guess I’m cut from different cloth.

Lol!!!

[Anonymous]

OP, most people are pigs. They’re not going to understand how to behave in a nice house, and if you try to help them understand, you’re going to be seen as didactic, snotty, and unwelcoming. Do not host people unless you have a sense of their standards. Also, host outside of the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are kinda interesting, and thanks for sharing. They seem to be in three camps : 1) you need to expect wear-and-tear because people have different standards, and some live rough; 2) you need to instruct your guests how to meet your standards or hover over them for the quick save. 3) you shouldn’t host.

To me, it’s astonishing that so many would-be visitors struggle with the basics.

Then again, I attended an elite private college and was a RA. I recall that some students thought it was their “right” to tear up the dorm because their parents paid rent. They didn’t seem to understand or want to understand that rent was for reasonable use of the space, not abuse.

I guess I’m cut from different cloth.

I like how you’ve failed to acknowledge:

A) You likely don’t have enough hooks and towel racks in your bathrooms. (This is Hosting 101.)
B) You clearly don’t have laundry hampers or baskets in the guest rooms. (This is Hosting 101.)
C) You obviously refuse to communicate your expectations, such as “please take all towels and linens down to the laundry room before your leave” (This is Hosting 101.)

Once you pass Hosting 101, try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, most people are pigs. They’re not going to understand how to behave in a nice house, and if you try to help them understand, you’re going to be seen as didactic, snotty, and unwelcoming. Do not host people unless you have a sense of their standards. Also, host outside of the house.

Reminds me of the currently trending “in-law dog” thread. Unless, you demand otherwise, people bring their standards and ways of being with them. For some, that means their dogs, no matter how obnoxious their behavior. I agree with others that you can’t assume anything, and thus, must provide instructions, facilities, and a watchful eye to ensure that your house doesn’t become the zoo so many come from.

[Anonymous]

I would never leave a towel hanging. How gross for your host to have to touch it! I wouldn't leave it on wood but in a hamper with sheets, sure!

Also, leave out coasters!

You need to chill. I went to finishing school and grew up in the most formal house ever and now have impeccable manners--but I also prefer good company and important relationships over any things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people have the kind of furniture where leaving a glass of water is no problem. So they probably thought what with you being so fancy, surely your rich-lady furniture would have that feature.

The towels are no big deal - don't you wash sheets and towels together anyway?

Scratching furniture sucks, but that's kind of the cost of hosting - guests probably aren't used to maneuvering around your guest bedroom while holding a bag or wheeling a suitcase - they probably just bumped into things.

Maybe you should have lower-end things in your guest room or not host.

NP. It’s not about the towels being mixed with the linens. It’s that they are wet and hiding in a “dry” pile and possibly damaging furniture and flooring.

What kind of flooring and furniture do you have that it can't handle a damp towel? Also the damp towels could easily have been in the middle or top of the pile so unclear what the harm is. Unless OP waits a long time to do the laundry, but that is on her

[Anonymous]

Leave these coasters out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never leave a towel hanging. How gross for your host to have to touch it! I wouldn't leave it on wood but in a hamper with sheets, sure!

Also, leave out coasters!

You need to chill. I went to finishing school and grew up in the most formal house ever and now have impeccable manners--but I also prefer good company and important relationships over any things.

So you think your towel magically gets from the hamper to the washer without your host touching it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never leave a towel hanging. How gross for your host to have to touch it! I wouldn't leave it on wood but in a hamper with sheets, sure!

Also, leave out coasters!

You need to chill. I went to finishing school and grew up in the most formal house ever and now have impeccable manners--but I also prefer good company and important relationships over any things.

So you think your towel magically gets from the hamper to the washer without your host touching it?

I can dump stuff from my hampers into the washing machine without touching what is inside (most of the time, unless something falls out).

[Anonymous]

Easy. Your guests were raised in a barn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you should not host people again. Those are all fairly normal things, if maybe not all in one visit. It bothers you and it’s very likely to happen again. So just don’t.

Huh? These are not normal things. Op needs to upgrade her guest list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I host a lot but make things clear for the guest. I tell them either just leave the sheets and towels in front of the washer or throw the towels in the washer and the sheets on the floor.

We don't allow food all over our house. Inhare cleaning sticky messes outside of the kitchen nut inevitably I have a guest that let's their kid eat gogurt in a bedroom or living room. I sigh and clean it up.

You need to treat your wood furniture if you don't want people leaving sweat stains. I put a glass cover on a lot of my wood furniture for this reason. No one uses coasters.

Glass covers look cheap and are cheesy! Do you also put plastic over your sofas?

[Anonymous]

I totally agree. People with nice things only get this. It is SUPER rude to leave wet towels on furniture and such. My cousin loaded my dish washer and put my expensive knives in it after I told her NOT to load it. I get you.