Lack of respect for house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are kinda interesting, and thanks for sharing. They seem to be in three camps : 1) you need to expect wear-and-tear because people have different standards, and some live rough; 2) you need to instruct your guests how to meet your standards or hover over them for the quick save. 3) you shouldn’t host.

To me, it’s astonishing that so many would-be visitors struggle with the basics.

Then again, I attended an elite private college and was a RA. I recall that some students thought it was their “right” to tear up the dorm because their parents paid rent. They didn’t seem to understand or want to understand that rent was for reasonable use of the space, not abuse.

I guess I’m cut from different cloth.

LOL. I only went to Yale so probably why I accidentally scratched my MIL’s guest room nightstand one time. My cloth is probably low quality and not because everyone makes mistakes occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I host a lot but make things clear for the guest. I tell them either just leave the sheets and towels in front of the washer or throw the towels in the washer and the sheets on the floor.

We don't allow food all over our house. Inhare cleaning sticky messes outside of the kitchen nut inevitably I have a guest that let's their kid eat gogurt in a bedroom or living room. I sigh and clean it up.

You need to treat your wood furniture if you don't want people leaving sweat stains. I put a glass cover on a lot of my wood furniture for this reason. No one uses coasters.

Glass covers look cheap and are cheesy! Do you also put plastic over your sofas?

My MIL keeps a blanket over her sofa at all times to protect it because it’s so expensive. Shame no one ever sees it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You aren’t fit to host.

The end.

Or maybe some people aren’t fit to be guests?!

Ok, OP should not host them. Same outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are kinda interesting, and thanks for sharing. They seem to be in three camps : 1) you need to expect wear-and-tear because people have different standards, and some live rough; 2) you need to instruct your guests how to meet your standards or hover over them for the quick save. 3) you shouldn’t host.

To me, it’s astonishing that so many would-be visitors struggle with the basics.

Then again, I attended an elite private college and was a RA. I recall that some students thought it was their “right” to tear up the dorm because their parents paid rent. They didn’t seem to understand or want to understand that rent was for reasonable use of the space, not abuse.

I guess I’m cut from different cloth.

We are talking about water marks? So odd you would bring up an example of "tear[ing] up the dorm" and "abuse" of a space as a related example. Personally, I think a host should give clearer direction but your posts make me think that you don't actually have the temperament to deal with the human part of hosting.

[Anonymous]

OP went to an elite college guys, and she was an RA. Apparently the rest of us went to dumb dumb state schools and are from trashy families without good breeding, like OP.

OP, the fact that you need to bring up the fact that you went to an elite college and were an RA on a thread about wet towels says more about you than your guests. Also, the RAs j remember from my undergrad years (also at an “elite” college, gag!) were all rule-obsessed losers on power trips who were hell bent on ruining the fun the rest of us wanted to have because they didn’t have any friends. FWIW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I host a lot but make things clear for the guest. I tell them either just leave the sheets and towels in front of the washer or throw the towels in the washer and the sheets on the floor.

We don't allow food all over our house. Inhare cleaning sticky messes outside of the kitchen nut inevitably I have a guest that let's their kid eat gogurt in a bedroom or living room. I sigh and clean it up.

You need to treat your wood furniture if you don't want people leaving sweat stains. I put a glass cover on a lot of my wood furniture for this reason. No one uses coasters.

Glass covers look cheap and are cheesy! Do you also put plastic over your sofas?

My MIL keeps a blanket over her sofa at all times to protect it because it’s so expensive. Shame no one ever sees it!

I do this but its our only seating area and we eat/relax on it plus the dog..

[Anonymous]

What scratched the furniture? I can't think of anything I would do as a guest that would scratch furniture.

As for the towels, I would think good for them for piling them up with the bedding. It's all going to the washing machine, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I host a lot but make things clear for the guest. I tell them either just leave the sheets and towels in front of the washer or throw the towels in the washer and the sheets on the floor.

We don't allow food all over our house. Inhare cleaning sticky messes outside of the kitchen nut inevitably I have a guest that let's their kid eat gogurt in a bedroom or living room. I sigh and clean it up.

You need to treat your wood furniture if you don't want people leaving sweat stains. I put a glass cover on a lot of my wood furniture for this reason. No one uses coasters.

Glass covers look cheap and are cheesy! Do you also put plastic over your sofas?

NP. Glass "covers" in my house mean custom cut glass tops that fit the couple of end tables, like the handmade inlaid wood table a relative made.

Nothing cheap about that glass at all, PP, and sure as hell not as "cheesy" as wet rings on a wood table we love. Plus: Reduced stress, since it's a pain to have to ensure guests are using coasters on a wood tabletop.

And no, we don't put plastic over the sofas. But if you think glass is cheap and cheesy, you don't know what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are kinda interesting, and thanks for sharing. They seem to be in three camps : 1) you need to expect wear-and-tear because people have different standards, and some live rough; 2) you need to instruct your guests how to meet your standards or hover over them for the quick save. 3) you shouldn’t host.

To me, it’s astonishing that so many would-be visitors struggle with the basics.

Then again, I attended an elite private college and was a RA. I recall that some students thought it was their “right” to tear up the dorm because their parents paid rent. They didn’t seem to understand or want to understand that rent was for reasonable use of the space, not abuse.

I guess I’m cut from different cloth.

Clearly, your education at that elite college did not teach you what a "false equivalency" is.

You are, oddly, trying to compare your own, invited guests, whose transgressions are minor, with students intentionally tearing up dorm rooms "because their parents paid rent" and the students felt (in your estimation) entitled by that payment.

Unless you're charging your guests for the privilege of staying with you, it's nonsensical to compare them to kids whose motivation for tearing up rooms is based on their feeling they paid for those rooms.

Maybe you need to start charging your guests a damage deposit, refundable if their stay with you doesn't mar the floors or furniture. Perhaps that will give you more peace of mind. It certainly will reduce your guest list very quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why we don’t invite my brother, SIL, and nephews to stay with us anymore. They’re constantly breaking things, pulling furniture into the walls and dinging both, leaving food and drinks in rooms and on surfaces where no one else does, and are just rough on stuff. We didn’t grow up like this so I’m not sure where my brother acquired this behavior, but it’s disrespectful and rude. I expect normal wear and tear in my house, but the house feels like it ages 1-2 years after their visits. They’re the kind of people who have their kids’ mattresses on the floor because they “broke their beds” beyond repair, and they have holes in their drywall from roughhousing They leave wet towels everywhere at my house and ask for new ones every day. At their house they barely have any towels and they’re all gray and sad. I just don’t get it.

TLDR: some people are rough and clueless and their own houses reflect that, and they treat other people’s houses like public spaces or hotels. I don’t care if you beat on your own Ashley furniture in your tract house. But at my house I’m the one who repaints, I’d also like my furniture to last longer than a couple of years, and we take care of everything because we’re going to live here for good. Call me a snobby jerk but I’m with OP.

Yes, you are a snobby jerk. The bolded is Exhibit A.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are kinda interesting, and thanks for sharing. They seem to be in three camps : 1) you need to expect wear-and-tear because people have different standards, and some live rough; 2) you need to instruct your guests how to meet your standards or hover over them for the quick save. 3) you shouldn’t host.

To me, it’s astonishing that so many would-be visitors struggle with the basics.

Then again, I attended an elite private college and was a RA. I recall that some students thought it was their “right” to tear up the dorm because their parents paid rent. They didn’t seem to understand or want to understand that rent was for reasonable use of the space, not abuse.

I guess I’m cut from different cloth.

This speaks volumes to your character. Do not host. No one will live up to your standards.

Yeah. OP and snobby jerk (correctly self-identified) “tract home” and “Ashley furniture” PP belong together. Clearly money can’t buy class.

[Anonymous]

I have learned that everyone has super different ideas of what is and is not appropriate. I’m from the Uk where it’s a given that you strip your bed after you stay somewhere so the host can easily wash your sheets. Virtually none of my us guests do this which are first I thought was beyond rude but now I understand it’s just a cultural difference

[Anonymous]

Some of your houseguests were not taught by their parents and other adults they were around on how to use coasters to protect furniture surfaces, separate wet linens/clothing from the rest of laundry, to keep sharp/staining/abrasive materials from damaging a house, and generally be a considerate guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I host a lot but make things clear for the guest. I tell them either just leave the sheets and towels in front of the washer or throw the towels in the washer and the sheets on the floor.

We don't allow food all over our house. Inhare cleaning sticky messes outside of the kitchen nut inevitably I have a guest that let's their kid eat gogurt in a bedroom or living room. I sigh and clean it up.

You need to treat your wood furniture if you don't want people leaving sweat stains. I put a glass cover on a lot of my wood furniture for this reason. No one uses coasters.

Glass covers look cheap and are cheesy! Do you also put plastic over your sofas?

NP. Glass "covers" in my house mean custom cut glass tops that fit the couple of end tables, like the handmade inlaid wood table a relative made.

Nothing cheap about that glass at all, PP, and sure as hell not as "cheesy" as wet rings on a wood table we love. Plus: Reduced stress, since it's a pain to have to ensure guests are using coasters on a wood tabletop.

And no, we don't put plastic over the sofas. But if you think glass is cheap and cheesy, you don't know what you're talking about.

Interesting. I’ve only seen this at hotels and museums. Why not if it gives you peace of mind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I take good care of my things and have definitely had inconsiderate guests, but I try to keep it in perspective. Shocked? None of things you mentioned are shocking and try to value the people more than the furniture. I enjoy hosting and some wear-and-tear is part of the cost of hosting. If rings on the wood mean we had a great time drinking around the table, I can make a peace with that.

Honestly, I don't why the wet towels upset you. If they gathered all the linens and towels together --that's being a pretty good guest. If you want them to hang it in the bathroom in a specific way (because apparently leaving it on the towel rack is not acceptable?), just casually mention it. I would be walking on eggshells in your house.

OP here. Wet towels left on towel racks, spread to dry would be ideal. If a washcloth was immersed for face washing or bathing, wrung and hung would be nice.

OP you’re being too uptight about this. My MIL just left and her wet towel was in a pile of stripped bedsheets and blankets. Oh well, it’s all getting washed. My FIL constantly sets his drink down without a coaster, so I just grab one and put it on the glass for him when I see it. If you’re so upright that you can’t handle this stuff, don’t host. Homes are made to be lived in, not treated like a museum. And you can’t control your guests so just let it go!

This is exactly how my in laws live. It became impossible to relax around them. They are generally uptight, controlling judgmental people. We rarely see them now.