Lack of respect for house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are kinda interesting, and thanks for sharing. They seem to be in three camps : 1) you need to expect wear-and-tear because people have different standards, and some live rough; 2) you need to instruct your guests how to meet your standards or hover over them for the quick save. 3) you shouldn’t host.

To me, it’s astonishing that so many would-be visitors struggle with the basics.

Then again, I attended an elite private college and was a RA. I recall that some students thought it was their “right” to tear up the dorm because their parents paid rent. They didn’t seem to understand or want to understand that rent was for reasonable use of the space, not abuse.

I guess I’m cut from different cloth.

This speaks volumes to your character. Do not host. No one will live up to your standards.

Yeah. OP and snobby jerk (correctly self-identified) “tract home” and “Ashley furniture” PP belong together. Clearly money can’t buy class.

I am laughing at that that snobby jerk's comment since I just bought a recliner from Ashley. It's great because my kids, dog, or I can relax on it, and I don't worry about it since I didn't pay a fortune.

Bingo. My costco sectional in the tv room was one of the best purchases when my kids were babies. No need to freak out about the occasional yogurt smear or exuberant kid jumping around. Life is too short!

We have a "fancy couch" the kids know they need to be on the A game around. kids need a place they can learn -- it's not reasonable to expect total perfection.

Right? Why try to take care of furniture when you can act like slobs and chuck it in the landfill after a few years. It will only take about 1000 years to decompose.

[Anonymous]

What kind of towels are you giving your guests if they are so wet after use that they can’t be bundled with the dirty sheets for fear of seeping through and damaging the floor in the few hours from when they strip the sheets and leave?

[Anonymous]

We have wood furniture and found people don’t know to use coasters. I gave up and removed a lot of the side tables and plan to sell them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are kinda interesting, and thanks for sharing. They seem to be in three camps : 1) you need to expect wear-and-tear because people have different standards, and some live rough; 2) you need to instruct your guests how to meet your standards or hover over them for the quick save. 3) you shouldn’t host.

To me, it’s astonishing that so many would-be visitors struggle with the basics.

Then again, I attended an elite private college and was a RA. I recall that some students thought it was their “right” to tear up the dorm because their parents paid rent. They didn’t seem to understand or want to understand that rent was for reasonable use of the space, not abuse.

I guess I’m cut from different cloth.

This speaks volumes to your character. Do not host. No one will live up to your standards.

Yeah. OP and snobby jerk (correctly self-identified) “tract home” and “Ashley furniture” PP belong together. Clearly money can’t buy class.

I am laughing at that that snobby jerk's comment since I just bought a recliner from Ashley. It's great because my kids, dog, or I can relax on it, and I don't worry about it since I didn't pay a fortune.

Bingo. My costco sectional in the tv room was one of the best purchases when my kids were babies. No need to freak out about the occasional yogurt smear or exuberant kid jumping around. Life is too short!

We have a "fancy couch" the kids know they need to be on the A game around. kids need a place they can learn -- it's not reasonable to expect total perfection.

Right? Why try to take care of furniture when you can act like slobs and chuck it in the landfill after a few years. It will only take about 1000 years to decompose.

Personally, I’ve found that cheaper pieces are easier to clean and just as sturdy. I’m with pp though, I think if you actually want to enjoy having guests you need to relax a bit and not sweat the small stuff. Especially with kids in the house, expect your home to be lived in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are kinda interesting, and thanks for sharing. They seem to be in three camps : 1) you need to expect wear-and-tear because people have different standards, and some live rough; 2) you need to instruct your guests how to meet your standards or hover over them for the quick save. 3) you shouldn’t host.

To me, it’s astonishing that so many would-be visitors struggle with the basics.

Then again, I attended an elite private college and was a RA. I recall that some students thought it was their “right” to tear up the dorm because their parents paid rent. They didn’t seem to understand or want to understand that rent was for reasonable use of the space, not abuse.

I guess I’m cut from different cloth.

This speaks volumes to your character. Do not host. No one will live up to your standards.

Yeah. OP and snobby jerk (correctly self-identified) “tract home” and “Ashley furniture” PP belong together. Clearly money can’t buy class.

I am laughing at that that snobby jerk's comment since I just bought a recliner from Ashley. It's great because my kids, dog, or I can relax on it, and I don't worry about it since I didn't pay a fortune.

Bingo. My costco sectional in the tv room was one of the best purchases when my kids were babies. No need to freak out about the occasional yogurt smear or exuberant kid jumping around. Life is too short!

We have a "fancy couch" the kids know they need to be on the A game around. kids need a place they can learn -- it's not reasonable to expect total perfection.

Right? Why try to take care of furniture when you can act like slobs and chuck it in the landfill after a few years. It will only take about 1000 years to decompose.

Turns out our cheap furniture resists water stains a whole lot longer than your fancy stuff so we can hold on to it longer. Is your furniture disintegrating in less than 500 years by the way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I host a lot but make things clear for the guest. I tell them either just leave the sheets and towels in front of the washer or throw the towels in the washer and the sheets on the floor.

We don't allow food all over our house. Inhare cleaning sticky messes outside of the kitchen nut inevitably I have a guest that let's their kid eat gogurt in a bedroom or living room. I sigh and clean it up.

You need to treat your wood furniture if you don't want people leaving sweat stains. I put a glass cover on a lot of my wood furniture for this reason. No one uses coasters.

Glass covers look cheap and are cheesy! Do you also put plastic over your sofas?

NP. Glass "covers" in my house mean custom cut glass tops that fit the couple of end tables, like the handmade inlaid wood table a relative made.

Nothing cheap about that glass at all, PP, and sure as hell not as "cheesy" as wet rings on a wood table we love. Plus: Reduced stress, since it's a pain to have to ensure guests are using coasters on a wood tabletop.

And no, we don't put plastic over the sofas. But if you think glass is cheap and cheesy, you don't know what you're talking about.

Interesting. I’ve only seen this at hotels and museums. Why not if it gives you peace of mind?

Agree, why not, if you want?

I'm the PP to whom you're responding. Where I grew up, it was common for people to have glass covers cut to fit some furniture like heirloom tables, or new tables they wanted to protect. Some snooty PP thinks it's "cheesy" to do this and where I come from it would be thought careless not to do it. It's silly for the "cheesy" PP to think his or her experience and taste are the only experience and taste that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why we don’t invite my brother, SIL, and nephews to stay with us anymore. They’re constantly breaking things, pulling furniture into the walls and dinging both, leaving food and drinks in rooms and on surfaces where no one else does, and are just rough on stuff. We didn’t grow up like this so I’m not sure where my brother acquired this behavior, but it’s disrespectful and rude. I expect normal wear and tear in my house, but the house feels like it ages 1-2 years after their visits. They’re the kind of people who have their kids’ mattresses on the floor because they “broke their beds” beyond repair, and they have holes in their drywall from roughhousing They leave wet towels everywhere at my house and ask for new ones every day. At their house they barely have any towels and they’re all gray and sad. I just don’t get it.

TLDR: some people are rough and clueless and their own houses reflect that, and they treat other people’s houses like public spaces or hotels.
I don’t care if you beat on your own Ashley furniture in your tract house. But at my house I’m the one who repaints, I’d also like my furniture to last longer than a couple of years, and we take care of everything because we’re going to live here for good. Call me a snobby jerk but I’m with OP.

God, you're ridiculous.
Trust that nobody in your life thinks of you in a positive manner when you act/talk like this -- it's such an ugly look that most people just laugh at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have learned that everyone has super different ideas of what is and is not appropriate. I’m from the Uk where it’s a given that you strip your bed after you stay somewhere so the host can easily wash your sheets. Virtually none of my us guests do this which are first I thought was beyond rude but now I understand it’s just a cultural difference

In my view, it is extremely rude to strip beds without ***asking the host first.***

When you politely ASK what would be helpful to your host and then LISTEN to the answer, you may learn that some do indeed prefer for the beds to be stripped, and some prefer that you just leave it as-is (but I always neatly make the bed and make sure the room is tidy).

They may have a laundry schedule you don’t know about, or a cleaning service coming on a day you don’t know about, it. They may prefer to have one day of guests being gone to relax before they tackle chores.

ASSuming is rude. ASKING is polite.

+1, my mom just wants guests to leave the sheets on the beds. She hates having a giant pile of laundry after guests leave. She just works her way around, washing the sheets when she is ready to.

Stripping the bed doesn't mean that the laundry must be washed urgently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have learned that everyone has super different ideas of what is and is not appropriate. I’m from the Uk where it’s a given that you strip your bed after you stay somewhere so the host can easily wash your sheets. Virtually none of my us guests do this which are first I thought was beyond rude but now I understand it’s just a cultural difference

In my view, it is extremely rude to strip beds without ***asking the host first.***

When you politely ASK what would be helpful to your host and then LISTEN to the answer, you may learn that some do indeed prefer for the beds to be stripped, and some prefer that you just leave it as-is (but I always neatly make the bed and make sure the room is tidy).

They may have a laundry schedule you don’t know about, or a cleaning service coming on a day you don’t know about, it. They may prefer to have one day of guests being gone to relax before they tackle chores.

ASSuming is rude. ASKING is polite.

+1, my mom just wants guests to leave the sheets on the beds. She hates having a giant pile of laundry after guests leave. She just works her way around, washing the sheets when she is ready to.

Stripping the bed doesn't mean that the laundry must be washed urgently

Yeah I don’t get that comment either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have learned that everyone has super different ideas of what is and is not appropriate. I’m from the Uk where it’s a given that you strip your bed after you stay somewhere so the host can easily wash your sheets. Virtually none of my us guests do this which are first I thought was beyond rude but now I understand it’s just a cultural difference

In my view, it is extremely rude to strip beds without ***asking the host first.***

When you politely ASK what would be helpful to your host and then LISTEN to the answer, you may learn that some do indeed prefer for the beds to be stripped, and some prefer that you just leave it as-is (but I always neatly make the bed and make sure the room is tidy).

They may have a laundry schedule you don’t know about, or a cleaning service coming on a day you don’t know about, it. They may prefer to have one day of guests being gone to relax before they tackle chores.

ASSuming is rude. ASKING is polite.

Disagree. It’s the role of the host to let the guest know what to do in advance, if he has a preference. This is not an obligation of the guest.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised at the level of anger at OP. I host a lot and my guests are super considerate about my furniture and always ask about whether or not to strip the bed. Wet towels shouldn’t be left anywhere but in a bathroom.

However, we did host family for thanksgiving and it was a total shitshow. Kids dragging food all over the house, urine all over the toilet seats, jumping on the couch with shoes on, sticky lollipops left in my reading chair. I was so tired of redirecting kids who wandered into the living room with handfuls of bagels and cream cheese while their parents just shrugged and laughed. I love having family around but I can’t handle that again any time soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the problem with putting the towels in with the sheets. Aren’t you going to scoop them all up after the guests leave and put them in the washing machine?

Your guests aren’t horrible, disrespectful people, OP, they are just a mismatch for how you do things. They should stay in a hotel next time. But drop the judgement.

+1 where else should they go? Genuinely wondering. I strip the bed and put all dirty stuff together in the laundry, and notify the host.

When we host, it’s usually close family. They generally will strip the bed. I partly agree with OP, in that I do not like guests to leave a pile of wet towels anywhere. I will either: ask them to hang any wet towels up in the guest bathroom; or, more often, they put wet towels and sheets in laundry room, and then I hang up the wet towels if I’m not doing the laundry that day.

Yes. Why is it princessy to hang up towels and not strip bed? That is my preference as a host so I can can fetch and launder when it’s convenient to me…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have learned that everyone has super different ideas of what is and is not appropriate. I’m from the Uk where it’s a given that you strip your bed after you stay somewhere so the host can easily wash your sheets. Virtually none of my us guests do this which are first I thought was beyond rude but now I understand it’s just a cultural difference

In my view, it is extremely rude to strip beds without ***asking the host first.***

When you politely ASK what would be helpful to your host and then LISTEN to the answer, you may learn that some do indeed prefer for the beds to be stripped, and some prefer that you just leave it as-is (but I always neatly make the bed and make sure the room is tidy).

They may have a laundry schedule you don’t know about, or a cleaning service coming on a day you don’t know about, it. They may prefer to have one day of guests being gone to relax before they tackle chores.

ASSuming is rude. ASKING is polite.

+1, my mom just wants guests to leave the sheets on the beds. She hates having a giant pile of laundry after guests leave. She just works her way around, washing the sheets when she is ready to.

Stripping the bed doesn't mean that the laundry must be washed urgently

For me it does. I don't like seeing a pile of sheets just sitting there -- it causes me anxiety. I have never had guests strip beds without asking first though, so thankfully have never had this problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have learned that everyone has super different ideas of what is and is not appropriate. I’m from the Uk where it’s a given that you strip your bed after you stay somewhere so the host can easily wash your sheets. Virtually none of my us guests do this which are first I thought was beyond rude but now I understand it’s just a cultural difference

In my view, it is extremely rude to strip beds without ***asking the host first.***

When you politely ASK what would be helpful to your host and then LISTEN to the answer, you may learn that some do indeed prefer for the beds to be stripped, and some prefer that you just leave it as-is (but I always neatly make the bed and make sure the room is tidy).

They may have a laundry schedule you don’t know about, or a cleaning service coming on a day you don’t know about, it. They may prefer to have one day of guests being gone to relax before they tackle chores.

ASSuming is rude. ASKING is polite.

+1, my mom just wants guests to leave the sheets on the beds. She hates having a giant pile of laundry after guests leave. She just works her way around, washing the sheets when she is ready to.

Stripping the bed doesn't mean that the laundry must be washed urgently

LOL…why are you arguing with the preferences of the PP’s mom? PP’s mom wants to do things a certain way in her own house, so that’s how it goes. Do you get it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have learned that everyone has super different ideas of what is and is not appropriate. I’m from the Uk where it’s a given that you strip your bed after you stay somewhere so the host can easily wash your sheets. Virtually none of my us guests do this which are first I thought was beyond rude but now I understand it’s just a cultural difference

In my view, it is extremely rude to strip beds without ***asking the host first.***

When you politely ASK what would be helpful to your host and then LISTEN to the answer, you may learn that some do indeed prefer for the beds to be stripped, and some prefer that you just leave it as-is (but I always neatly make the bed and make sure the room is tidy).

They may have a laundry schedule you don’t know about, or a cleaning service coming on a day you don’t know about, it. They may prefer to have one day of guests being gone to relax before they tackle chores.

ASSuming is rude. ASKING is polite.

Disagree. It’s the role of the host to let the guest know what to do in advance, if he has a preference. This is not an obligation of the guest.

You must be confusing being a guest in someone’s home with being a patron in a hotel. Good guests most certainly do ask their hosts how they can be helpful during their stay and/or before departure. This is basic manners. It sounds like you were raised in a barn.