When do you allow your teen/tween to date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would teens not sexually active need condoms provided to them? I’m not following.

Jesus, you can not be this dense.

I was referring to the lesbian in a committed relationship (the post above mine).

Newsflash. Gay women experiment too.

Gay women use condoms?

How dumb are you. Why are you here? Most girls carry condoms and are on birth control. Get with this century sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would teens not sexually active need condoms provided to them? I’m not following.

Jesus, you can not be this dense.

I was referring to the lesbian in a committed relationship (the post above mine).

Newsflash. Gay women experiment too.

Gay women use condoms?

This was a surprise to me too.

I thought lesbian meant “lesbian.”

But, apparently lesbian actually means bisexual, and we are all supposed to somehow know that, and know lesbians need to always have condoms available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would teens not sexually active need condoms provided to them? I’m not following.

Jesus, you can not be this dense.

I was referring to the lesbian in a committed relationship (the post above mine).

Newsflash. Gay women experiment too.

Gay women use condoms?

How dumb are you. Why are you here? Most girls carry condoms and are on birth control. Get with this century sweetie.

DP. What a rude AH you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would teens not sexually active need condoms provided to them? I’m not following.

Jesus, you can not be this dense.

I was referring to the lesbian in a committed relationship (the post above mine).

Newsflash. Gay women experiment too.

Gay women use condoms?

How dumb are you. Why are you here? Most girls carry condoms and are on birth control. Get with this century sweetie.

DP. Some of you are weirdly triggered.

[Anonymous]

Navigating this with my youngest now. My oldest did not date much in hs, and is in college (now 20). We talked to him about making safe choices, being respectful, and certainly about consent. My middle son has significant social deficits due to autism and we’ve talked to him but have not seen much interest. My youngest is a sophomore, just turned 15, so on the young side for her grade. She has always been much more socially aware and mature. She started talking about a boy about 2 months ago. It was our first experience with this so I reached out to a friend to ask how she handled this. She said “I always welcome the kids to hang out here, so I can have some supervision”. After he asked her to homecoming, it became apparent that they both really liked each other. So far, our main rules are, parents need to be home, doors open and no hanging out in bedrooms. I do let them hang in the basement. They’ve also gone in groups and alone to dinner. I also try to keep an open ear, and keep me cool even if it’s hard to see her grow up. So far she’s telling me things like, “X asked me to be his girlfriend” and “my friends really like x”. As they see each other more I’m trying to 1) keep an open ear and not overreact so she keeps talking and 2) coming up with a plan how to talk to her explicitly about sex. I fooled around in high school with boyfriends but did not have sec until college. I of course want to give her what she needs to be safe, but also help her know she can wait…any advice on great reads for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Navigating this with my youngest now. My oldest did not date much in hs, and is in college (now 20). We talked to him about making safe choices, being respectful, and certainly about consent. My middle son has significant social deficits due to autism and we’ve talked to him but have not seen much interest. My youngest is a sophomore, just turned 15, so on the young side for her grade. She has always been much more socially aware and mature. She started talking about a boy about 2 months ago. It was our first experience with this so I reached out to a friend to ask how she handled this. She said “I always welcome the kids to hang out here, so I can have some supervision”. After he asked her to homecoming, it became apparent that they both really liked each other. So far, our main rules are, parents need to be home, doors open and no hanging out in bedrooms. I do let them hang in the basement. They’ve also gone in groups and alone to dinner. I also try to keep an open ear, and keep me cool even if it’s hard to see her grow up. So far she’s telling me things like, “X asked me to be his girlfriend” and “my friends really like x”. As they see each other more I’m trying to 1) keep an open ear and not overreact so she keeps talking and 2) coming up with a plan how to talk to her explicitly about sex. I fooled around in high school with boyfriends but did not have sec until college. I of course want to give her what she needs to be safe, but also help her know she can wait…any advice on great reads for this?

Our DD is just 14 in 8th and we are taking the same approach and using same ground rules. She is mature, responsible and an excellent student. She also happened to choose a boy who shares these same qualities. She’s known him for a few years. We’ve met the parents. I never thought I’d say this as we are pretty traditional and neither my husband nor I didn’t date until late high school but we are fine with her having him as a boyfriend. I think it’s depends on the kids involved. I also have open lines of communication with my daughter and I think pushing back too hard would close them and backfire.

[Anonymous]

My 12 year old tells me that there are lots of kids in her MS who are sexually active. One in particular, she says has sex in bathrooms and under bleachers (with HS boys), there are recordings of her, and she does not give a shit. She's playing with fire, because she is also apparently not on/using birth control.

We have talked about how damaging this sort of behavior can be, how teens are biologically not the best at making smart decisions, and why being a bit circumspect now can serve kids best in the long run. She tells me that she and kids in her close friends circle aren't interested in boys/girls and dating yet. And that personally, she thinks it's pointless, since they are too young to go anywhere or have actual dates, and that since dating is supposed to be a precursor to relationships, and 12/13 year olds really are not going to be having long term relations, it's kind of silly to bother with it anyway.

She thinks she'll start dating when she's 16. Or 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would teens not sexually active need condoms provided to them? I’m not following.

Jesus, you can not be this dense.

I was referring to the lesbian in a committed relationship (the post above mine).

Newsflash. Gay women experiment too.

Gay women use condoms?

How dumb are you. Why are you here? Most girls carry condoms and are on birth control. Get with this century sweetie.

No, they don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No dating until they are away at college.

This is what my conservative Catholic parents thought. Boy where they wrong. They had no clue that the church youth groups and retreats where great opportunities for raging hormonal teenagers to have sex. Those Catholic youth retreats were so much fun. Lots of praying, food, and sex.

You can forbid your children from dating, but it will not stop them from having sex. I can't believe that parents are so naive.

Wait until college for dating? HA!

That’s you. We had this rule as well and I followed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would teens not sexually active need condoms provided to them? I’m not following.

Jesus, you can not be this dense.

I was referring to the lesbian in a committed relationship (the post above mine).

Newsflash. Gay women experiment too.

Gay women use condoms?

This was a surprise to me too.

I thought lesbian meant “lesbian.”

But, apparently lesbian actually means bisexual, and we are all supposed to somehow know that, and know lesbians need to always have condoms available.

How many straight girls were with other girls in college? A LOT
People experiment. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 12 year old tells me that there are lots of kids in her MS who are sexually active. One in particular, she says has sex in bathrooms and under bleachers (with HS boys), there are recordings of her, and she does not give a shit. She's playing with fire, because she is also apparently not on/using birth control.

We have talked about how damaging this sort of behavior can be, how teens are biologically not the best at making smart decisions, and why being a bit circumspect now can serve kids best in the long run. She tells me that she and kids in her close friends circle aren't interested in boys/girls and dating yet. And that personally, she thinks it's pointless, since they are too young to go anywhere or have actual dates, and that since dating is supposed to be a precursor to relationships, and 12/13 year olds really are not going to be having long term relations, it's kind of silly to bother with it anyway.

She thinks she'll start dating when she's 16. Or 18.

Newsflash, middle school girls having sex with high schoolers under the bleachers are not dating or in relationships. Even when I went to my first year of high school, the two other middle schools were way more sexually aggressive than ours. I had no idea what circle jerks were and heard about the girls that did them day 1 freshman year. That was wild. None of those girls were in relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Navigating this with my youngest now. My oldest did not date much in hs, and is in college (now 20). We talked to him about making safe choices, being respectful, and certainly about consent. My middle son has significant social deficits due to autism and we’ve talked to him but have not seen much interest. My youngest is a sophomore, just turned 15, so on the young side for her grade. She has always been much more socially aware and mature. She started talking about a boy about 2 months ago. It was our first experience with this so I reached out to a friend to ask how she handled this. She said “I always welcome the kids to hang out here, so I can have some supervision”. After he asked her to homecoming, it became apparent that they both really liked each other. So far, our main rules are, parents need to be home, doors open and no hanging out in bedrooms. I do let them hang in the basement. They’ve also gone in groups and alone to dinner. I also try to keep an open ear, and keep me cool even if it’s hard to see her grow up. So far she’s telling me things like, “X asked me to be his girlfriend” and “my friends really like x”. As they see each other more I’m trying to 1) keep an open ear and not overreact so she keeps talking and 2) coming up with a plan how to talk to her explicitly about sex. I fooled around in high school with boyfriends but did not have sec until college. I of course want to give her what she needs to be safe, but also help her know she can wait…any advice on great reads for this?

Dating a boy for the first time sophomore year is pretty late. Most middle schoolers are "dating" which is very casual but talking, walking to class together, etc...

[Anonymous]

Ya’ll are hilarious about “allowing” your kids to date. If a kid wants to date, I promise you they will date. Whether or not you are aware.

I started dating at 14. Became monigonous and sexually active at almost 16. With that boy friend through most of college.

My mom was never the wiser. I was raised super-strict Catholic. Like mega-religious. I had a best friend who my
I’m loved that covered for me 100%. I was always out with her - ha. My boyfriend would drop her off at her boyfriends house when we went out. Mom thought it was just me and my friend. Ha, ha,ha. I wasn’t even allowed to call boys on the phone!! Great memories. My friend would call me - my mom would pass the phone to me. I’d three-way call my boyfriend and my best friend would drop off. Where there is a will there is a way!

Parents. Please wisen up. If your kids want to date and become sexually active - you cannot stop it. It’s laughable that you think you could.

[Anonymous]

PP from posting immediate before. Sorry for the typos - I’m on my phone.

And also don’t worry if your kids become sexually actively young. I was. But I’m also a serial monogamist.

Married to my husband 20+ years now - dated for 5 years prior.

So it all works out. But my super strict mom is none the wiser if my young exploits!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 12 year old tells me that there are lots of kids in her MS who are sexually active. One in particular, she says has sex in bathrooms and under bleachers (with HS boys), there are recordings of her, and she does not give a shit. She's playing with fire, because she is also apparently not on/using birth control.

We have talked about how damaging this sort of behavior can be, how teens are biologically not the best at making smart decisions, and why being a bit circumspect now can serve kids best in the long run. She tells me that she and kids in her close friends circle aren't interested in boys/girls and dating yet. And that personally, she thinks it's pointless, since they are too young to go anywhere or have actual dates, and that since dating is supposed to be a precursor to relationships, and 12/13 year olds really are not going to be having long term relations, it's kind of silly to bother with it anyway.

She thinks she'll start dating when she's 16. Or 18.

So you realize a girl like the one mentioned above has probably been sexually abused right? Speak to your child with some empathy about the girl. She is struggling and it’s not that “she does not give a shit”.

Ugh.