Thoughts on the “other woman”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Yeah right. He never would have married you. It wasn’t even a consideration for him. Lol

Nor for me. We were both clear upfront that we weren't leaving our marriages.

What you did to another woman was AWFUL. You actually are going to argue that it was okay to f@ck another woman’s husband because you were just a f@ck buddy? You don’t think that would harm a wife? Are you really that completely dense?

[/b]She was not harmed in any way. [b]

As an aside, you'd think she was a crappy person and parent if you knew her. So maybe getting cheated on was her karma? I don't believe in any of that junk, but aren't you all always prattling on about it?

Curious. Did she find out about you? If so, how could you possibly say she wasn't harmed in any way? Have you read about what betrayal in a marriage does to the betrayed? The type of psychological damage it inflicts for the rest of their life?

Are you still cheating on your husband? What number are you up to now? Why stay married? Can you not support yourself?

NO. She didn't find out. Isn't that obvious if I say she wasn't hurt?

I've stayed married because I like my life in every way, especially when I can outsource the sex my husband has no interest in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Yeah right. He never would have married you. It wasn’t even a consideration for him. Lol

Nor for me. We were both clear upfront that we weren't leaving our marriages.

What you did to another woman was AWFUL. You actually are going to argue that it was okay to f@ck another woman’s husband because you were just a f@ck buddy? You don’t think that would harm a wife? Are you really that completely dense?

[/b]She was not harmed in any way. [b]

As an aside, you'd think she was a crappy person and parent if you knew her. So maybe getting cheated on was her karma? I don't believe in any of that junk, but aren't you all always prattling on about it?

Curious. Did she find out about you? If so, how could you possibly say she wasn't harmed in any way? Have you read about what betrayal in a marriage does to the betrayed? The type of psychological damage it inflicts for the rest of their life?

Are you still cheating on your husband? What number are you up to now? Why stay married? Can you not support yourself?

NO. She didn't find out. Isn't that obvious if I say she wasn't hurt?

I've stayed married because I like my life in every way, especially when I can outsource the sex my husband has no interest in.

You are having sex with married men that still have an active sex life with their wives.

Just go find a single guy to bang. Why risk destroying another family besides just your own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Yeah right. He never would have married you. It wasn’t even a consideration for him. Lol

Nor for me. We were both clear upfront that we weren't leaving our marriages.

I’ve seen that before. Then the woman starts putting the pressure on and changing the circumstances and wanting more. Such a load of crap.

The OW in my world also was married and claimed at the get-go it would be no-strings. As time went on she started the pressure, started bringing up leaving her spouse and hinting for ex to do the same. I found that she monitored everything about me and my kids. When we were getting a new puppy she tried to talk my husband out of doing it because she saw that meant he was invested in the marriage still. If he had a family obligation she would try to belittle it which cause many fights at the end. She openly stated she was jealous of the wife. All from someone that claimed it would just be about sex. Yeah right. This Sumner woman saw Adams wife was pregnant again and the writing was on the wall that she wasn’t going to get him to leave the wife so she went scorched earth.

That's true but the core issue is that your exH was not monogamous. He was equally enjoying his family time AND his time with OW. I had a similar situation: my marriage to exH as very much alive, he seemed to be happy and never tried to discuss if anything bothered him. That beats me the most that he didn't even try to communicate what I was doing wrong, to give us a chance! Probably I wasn't doing anything wrong and marital therapy would have revealed his adultery with multiple women. Cheaters try to avoid couples therapy as anathema.

The OW controlled all aspects (creepy as I didn't even know what was causing our conflicts): she would throw a tantrum when learning my exH took me for a romantic trip to Caribbean; brainwashed him that I am too crazy about our child being a competitive athlete. ExH would have to devote a lot of time driving son to practices and it wasn't in HER interests to keep father involved in family too much. She was also married but her own kids were grown up college students.

I felt so sick when this double life was discovered (it lasted for 8 years before our son found out!). I realized that my exH made so many harmful for family's well-being decisions because of that "side influence".

This is heart breaking to read. So sorry. And, yet, that OW would be one on this site swearing she didn't cause any harm to you because she never was going to break up a marriage/family...all the while doing the things you described and trying to steer him away place negativity in his mind about you and familiy.

I'm that OW you're referring to, and no I never acted like that at all. I truly did not want either of us to leave our marriages. Our affair was conducted only during business hours, with no bleedover into evenings or weekends. Far from tantruming when he did things for his wife, I actually coached him on how to do nice things for her. (No, not expecting a medal for that, just explaining that YOUR experience is not universal.)

I hope you realize how downright sick and sociopathic that is. Disgusting. Plus, there WAS BLEEDOVER don't fool yourself. In order to carry out what he was doing he was an over-stressed, critical a-hole at home. Taking time with you during the work day meant longer hours and make-up work that directly bled into family time, not to mention the cost and the time spent meeting up. What you did is absolutely disgusting, like your some kind of saint making marriages better across the DMV. You are so delusional to think you are blameless and not hurting your own spouse/kids and his as well by taking part in what you were doing.

You need psychological help and an STI panel.

Conversations would go much smoother on here if you would take people at their word and stop projecting your own experience onto everything. We spent hours together every day at no cost, and it didn't affect either of our workloads or stress us out. I realize it's an unusual situation, but it's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Yeah right. He never would have married you. It wasn’t even a consideration for him. Lol

Nor for me. We were both clear upfront that we weren't leaving our marriages.

What you did to another woman was AWFUL. You actually are going to argue that it was okay to f@ck another woman’s husband because you were just a f@ck buddy? You don’t think that would harm a wife? Are you really that completely dense?

[/b]She was not harmed in any way. [b]

As an aside, you'd think she was a crappy person and parent if you knew her. So maybe getting cheated on was her karma? I don't believe in any of that junk, but aren't you all always prattling on about it?

Curious. Did she find out about you? If so, how could you possibly say she wasn't harmed in any way? Have you read about what betrayal in a marriage does to the betrayed? The type of psychological damage it inflicts for the rest of their life?

Are you still cheating on your husband? What number are you up to now? Why stay married? Can you not support yourself?

NO. She didn't find out. Isn't that obvious if I say she wasn't hurt?

I've stayed married because I like my life in every way, especially when I can outsource the sex my husband has no interest in.

You are having sex with married men that still have an active sex life with their wives.

Just go find a single guy to bang. Why risk destroying another family besides just your own?

Come on, the answer to that is obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Yeah right. He never would have married you. It wasn’t even a consideration for him. Lol

Nor for me. We were both clear upfront that we weren't leaving our marriages.

I’ve seen that before. Then the woman starts putting the pressure on and changing the circumstances and wanting more. Such a load of crap.

The OW in my world also was married and claimed at the get-go it would be no-strings. As time went on she started the pressure, started bringing up leaving her spouse and hinting for ex to do the same. I found that she monitored everything about me and my kids. When we were getting a new puppy she tried to talk my husband out of doing it because she saw that meant he was invested in the marriage still. If he had a family obligation she would try to belittle it which cause many fights at the end. She openly stated she was jealous of the wife. All from someone that claimed it would just be about sex. Yeah right. This Sumner woman saw Adams wife was pregnant again and the writing was on the wall that she wasn’t going to get him to leave the wife so she went scorched earth.

That's true but the core issue is that your exH was not monogamous. He was equally enjoying his family time AND his time with OW. I had a similar situation: my marriage to exH as very much alive, he seemed to be happy and never tried to discuss if anything bothered him. That beats me the most that he didn't even try to communicate what I was doing wrong, to give us a chance! Probably I wasn't doing anything wrong and marital therapy would have revealed his adultery with multiple women. Cheaters try to avoid couples therapy as anathema.

The OW controlled all aspects (creepy as I didn't even know what was causing our conflicts): she would throw a tantrum when learning my exH took me for a romantic trip to Caribbean; brainwashed him that I am too crazy about our child being a competitive athlete. ExH would have to devote a lot of time driving son to practices and it wasn't in HER interests to keep father involved in family too much. She was also married but her own kids were grown up college students.

I felt so sick when this double life was discovered (it lasted for 8 years before our son found out!). I realized that my exH made so many harmful for family's well-being decisions because of that "side influence".

This is heart breaking to read. So sorry. And, yet, that OW would be one on this site swearing she didn't cause any harm to you because she never was going to break up a marriage/family...all the while doing the things you described and trying to steer him away place negativity in his mind about you and familiy.

I'm that OW you're referring to, and no I never acted like that at all. I truly did not want either of us to leave our marriages. Our affair was conducted only during business hours, with no bleedover into evenings or weekends. Far from tantruming when he did things for his wife, I actually coached him on how to do nice things for her. (No, not expecting a medal for that, just explaining that YOUR experience is not universal.)

I hope you realize how downright sick and sociopathic that is. Disgusting. Plus, there WAS BLEEDOVER don't fool yourself. In order to carry out what he was doing he was an over-stressed, critical a-hole at home. Taking time with you during the work day meant longer hours and make-up work that directly bled into family time, not to mention the cost and the time spent meeting up. What you did is absolutely disgusting, like your some kind of saint making marriages better across the DMV. You are so delusional to think you are blameless and not hurting your own spouse/kids and his as well by taking part in what you were doing.

You need psychological help and an STI panel.

Conversations would go much smoother on here if you would take people at their word and stop projecting your own experience onto everything. We spent hours together every day at no cost, and it didn't affect either of our workloads or stress us out. I realize it's an unusual situation, but it's true.

DP. I truly think you should spend some time with a few families where this type affair was discovered and see the total implosion it causes. Right now you are in a complete fantasy world. You will get caught. It’s usually by the 3rd affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Yeah right. He never would have married you. It wasn’t even a consideration for him. Lol

Nor for me. We were both clear upfront that we weren't leaving our marriages.

What you did to another woman was AWFUL. You actually are going to argue that it was okay to f@ck another woman’s husband because you were just a f@ck buddy? You don’t think that would harm a wife? Are you really that completely dense?

[/b]She was not harmed in any way. [b]

As an aside, you'd think she was a crappy person and parent if you knew her. So maybe getting cheated on was her karma? I don't believe in any of that junk, but aren't you all always prattling on about it?

Curious. Did she find out about you? If so, how could you possibly say she wasn't harmed in any way? Have you read about what betrayal in a marriage does to the betrayed? The type of psychological damage it inflicts for the rest of their life?

Are you still cheating on your husband? What number are you up to now? Why stay married? Can you not support yourself?

NO. She didn't find out. Isn't that obvious if I say she wasn't hurt?

I've stayed married because I like my life in every way, especially when I can outsource the sex my husband has no interest in.

You are having sex with married men that still have an active sex life with their wives.

Just go find a single guy to bang. Why risk destroying another family besides just your own?

Come on, the answer to that is obvious.

Because she’s not hot enough to get a single guy to bang her or can bang guys way out of her league since they are married?

This mutually assured destruction BS is manufactured by websites and ignorant people, when two families with kids are involved the implosion is oh so much greater. And often a kid/teen is the one to discover it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Yeah right. He never would have married you. It wasn’t even a consideration for him. Lol

Nor for me. We were both clear upfront that we weren't leaving our marriages.

I’ve seen that before. Then the woman starts putting the pressure on and changing the circumstances and wanting more. Such a load of crap.

The OW in my world also was married and claimed at the get-go it would be no-strings. As time went on she started the pressure, started bringing up leaving her spouse and hinting for ex to do the same. I found that she monitored everything about me and my kids. When we were getting a new puppy she tried to talk my husband out of doing it because she saw that meant he was invested in the marriage still. If he had a family obligation she would try to belittle it which cause many fights at the end. She openly stated she was jealous of the wife. All from someone that claimed it would just be about sex. Yeah right. This Sumner woman saw Adams wife was pregnant again and the writing was on the wall that she wasn’t going to get him to leave the wife so she went scorched earth.

That's true but the core issue is that your exH was not monogamous. He was equally enjoying his family time AND his time with OW. I had a similar situation: my marriage to exH as very much alive, he seemed to be happy and never tried to discuss if anything bothered him. That beats me the most that he didn't even try to communicate what I was doing wrong, to give us a chance! Probably I wasn't doing anything wrong and marital therapy would have revealed his adultery with multiple women. Cheaters try to avoid couples therapy as anathema.

The OW controlled all aspects (creepy as I didn't even know what was causing our conflicts): she would throw a tantrum when learning my exH took me for a romantic trip to Caribbean; brainwashed him that I am too crazy about our child being a competitive athlete. ExH would have to devote a lot of time driving son to practices and it wasn't in HER interests to keep father involved in family too much. She was also married but her own kids were grown up college students.

I felt so sick when this double life was discovered (it lasted for 8 years before our son found out!). I realized that my exH made so many harmful for family's well-being decisions because of that "side influence".

This is heart breaking to read. So sorry. And, yet, that OW would be one on this site swearing she didn't cause any harm to you because she never was going to break up a marriage/family...all the while doing the things you described and trying to steer him away place negativity in his mind about you and familiy.

I'm that OW you're referring to, and no I never acted like that at all. I truly did not want either of us to leave our marriages. Our affair was conducted only during business hours, with no bleedover into evenings or weekends. Far from tantruming when he did things for his wife, I actually coached him on how to do nice things for her. (No, not expecting a medal for that, just explaining that YOUR experience is not universal.)

I hope you realize how downright sick and sociopathic that is. Disgusting. Plus, there WAS BLEEDOVER don't fool yourself. In order to carry out what he was doing he was an over-stressed, critical a-hole at home. Taking time with you during the work day meant longer hours and make-up work that directly bled into family time, not to mention the cost and the time spent meeting up. What you did is absolutely disgusting, like your some kind of saint making marriages better across the DMV. You are so delusional to think you are blameless and not hurting your own spouse/kids and his as well by taking part in what you were doing.

You need psychological help and an STI panel.

Conversations would go much smoother on here if you would take people at their word and stop projecting your own experience onto everything. We spent hours together every day at no cost, and it didn't affect either of our workloads or stress us out. I realize it's an unusual situation, but it's true.

Kind of like the Celtics married affair partners rocking the news? Yeah that didn’t harm anyone . Just work hours there too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Yeah right. He never would have married you. It wasn’t even a consideration for him. Lol

Nor for me. We were both clear upfront that we weren't leaving our marriages.

I’ve seen that before. Then the woman starts putting the pressure on and changing the circumstances and wanting more. Such a load of crap.

The OW in my world also was married and claimed at the get-go it would be no-strings. As time went on she started the pressure, started bringing up leaving her spouse and hinting for ex to do the same. I found that she monitored everything about me and my kids. When we were getting a new puppy she tried to talk my husband out of doing it because she saw that meant he was invested in the marriage still. If he had a family obligation she would try to belittle it which cause many fights at the end. She openly stated she was jealous of the wife. All from someone that claimed it would just be about sex. Yeah right. This Sumner woman saw Adams wife was pregnant again and the writing was on the wall that she wasn’t going to get him to leave the wife so she went scorched earth.

That's true but the core issue is that your exH was not monogamous. He was equally enjoying his family time AND his time with OW. I had a similar situation: my marriage to exH as very much alive, he seemed to be happy and never tried to discuss if anything bothered him. That beats me the most that he didn't even try to communicate what I was doing wrong, to give us a chance! Probably I wasn't doing anything wrong and marital therapy would have revealed his adultery with multiple women. Cheaters try to avoid couples therapy as anathema.

The OW controlled all aspects (creepy as I didn't even know what was causing our conflicts): she would throw a tantrum when learning my exH took me for a romantic trip to Caribbean; brainwashed him that I am too crazy about our child being a competitive athlete. ExH would have to devote a lot of time driving son to practices and it wasn't in HER interests to keep father involved in family too much. She was also married but her own kids were grown up college students.

I felt so sick when this double life was discovered (it lasted for 8 years before our son found out!). I realized that my exH made so many harmful for family's well-being decisions because of that "side influence".

This is heart breaking to read. So sorry. And, yet, that OW would be one on this site swearing she didn't cause any harm to you because she never was going to break up a marriage/family...all the while doing the things you described and trying to steer him away place negativity in his mind about you and familiy.

I'm that OW you're referring to, and no I never acted like that at all. I truly did not want either of us to leave our marriages. Our affair was conducted only during business hours, with no bleedover into evenings or weekends. Far from tantruming when he did things for his wife, I actually coached him on how to do nice things for her. (No, not expecting a medal for that, just explaining that YOUR experience is not universal.)

I hope you realize how downright sick and sociopathic that is. Disgusting. Plus, there WAS BLEEDOVER don't fool yourself. In order to carry out what he was doing he was an over-stressed, critical a-hole at home. Taking time with you during the work day meant longer hours and make-up work that directly bled into family time, not to mention the cost and the time spent meeting up. What you did is absolutely disgusting, like your some kind of saint making marriages better across the DMV. You are so delusional to think you are blameless and not hurting your own spouse/kids and his as well by taking part in what you were doing.

You need psychological help and an STI panel.

Conversations would go much smoother on here if you would take people at their word and stop projecting your own experience onto everything. We spent hours together every day at no cost, and it didn't affect either of our workloads or stress us out. I realize it's an unusual situation, but it's true.

Kind of like the Celtics married affair partners rocking the news? Yeah that didn’t harm anyone . Just work hours there too.

And a workplace affair is the most idiotic type to have. You don’t sh@t where you eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Yeah right. He never would have married you. It wasn’t even a consideration for him. Lol

Nor for me. We were both clear upfront that we weren't leaving our marriages.

What you did to another woman was AWFUL. You actually are going to argue that it was okay to f@ck another woman’s husband because you were just a f@ck buddy? You don’t think that would harm a wife? Are you really that completely dense?

[/b]She was not harmed in any way. [b]

As an aside, you'd think she was a crappy person and parent if you knew her. So maybe getting cheated on was her karma? I don't believe in any of that junk, but aren't you all always prattling on about it?

Curious. Did she find out about you? If so, how could you possibly say she wasn't harmed in any way? Have you read about what betrayal in a marriage does to the betrayed? The type of psychological damage it inflicts for the rest of their life?

Are you still cheating on your husband? What number are you up to now? Why stay married? Can you not support yourself?

NO. She didn't find out. Isn't that obvious if I say she wasn't hurt?

I've stayed married because I like my life in every way, especially when I can outsource the sex my husband has no interest in.

You are having sex with married men that still have an active sex life with their wives.

Just go find a single guy to bang. Why risk destroying another family besides just your own?

Come on, the answer to that is obvious.

Because she’s not hot enough to get a single guy to bang her or can bang guys way out of her league since they are married?

This mutually assured destruction BS is manufactured by websites and ignorant people, when two families with kids are involved the implosion is oh so much greater. And often a kid/teen is the one to discover it.

Yep, it was my 14 y.o. son who first discovered the affair while surfing through dad's Ipad. It affected their relationship for life, son says he would never respect him like he did before. Her photos sent to his work email in bikinis! An old looking woman with short ugly legs on his dad's Ipad in triangular bikinis covering almost nothing!

[Anonymous]

Alright, the hyenas have taken over the thread.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why the public needs to blame at all. It isn’t our marriage and it wasn’t our choices.
It absolutely should not have been made public and I am sure it isn’t helping the situation but who are we to have an opinion. Just seems bizarre to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Yeah right. He never would have married you. It wasn’t even a consideration for him. Lol

Nor for me. We were both clear upfront that we weren't leaving our marriages.

What you did to another woman was AWFUL. You actually are going to argue that it was okay to f@ck another woman’s husband because you were just a f@ck buddy? You don’t think that would harm a wife? Are you really that completely dense?

[/b]She was not harmed in any way. [b]

As an aside, you'd think she was a crappy person and parent if you knew her. So maybe getting cheated on was her karma? I don't believe in any of that junk, but aren't you all always prattling on about it?

Curious. Did she find out about you? If so, how could you possibly say she wasn't harmed in any way? Have you read about what betrayal in a marriage does to the betrayed? The type of psychological damage it inflicts for the rest of their life?

Are you still cheating on your husband? What number are you up to now? Why stay married? Can you not support yourself?

NO. She didn't find out. Isn't that obvious if I say she wasn't hurt?

I've stayed married because I like my life in every way, especially when I can outsource the sex my husband has no interest in.

You are having sex with married men that still have an active sex life with their wives.

Just go find a single guy to bang. Why risk destroying another family besides just your own?

Come on, the answer to that is obvious.

Because she’s not hot enough to get a single guy to bang her or can bang guys way out of her league since they are married?

This mutually assured destruction BS is manufactured by websites and ignorant people, when two families with kids are involved the implosion is oh so much greater. And often a kid/teen is the one to discover it.

Yep, it was my 14 y.o. son who first discovered the affair while surfing through dad's Ipad. It affected their relationship for life, son says he would never respect him like he did before. Her photos sent to his work email in bikinis! An old looking woman with short ugly legs on his dad's Ipad in triangular bikinis covering almost nothing!

My friend discovered her dad had another entire family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was young - late teens and early twenties - and at the height of my physical beauty, I engaged in some promiscuity which included some one night stands. It wasn’t until years later that I understood the roots of this behavior, but at the time I didn’t see it as anything other than me experiencing my sexuality with men I found attractive in mutually fulfilling encounters.

One night I found myself in bed with a visiting professor of a local university who I had met and engaged in mutual seduction with at a local bar over billiards and drinks. We had not yet consummated the coupling when he let slip that he had a wife and kids back home in Canada. Despite his protestations, and I realize in retrospect that I was lucky he didn’t just force himself on me, I got out of bed got dressed and left. I told him as I was dressing that I could never knowingly be a participant in infidelity - that even if it wasn’t my promises at issue, I lived by a strong code that I owed respect to other peoples’ marriages. Of course the whole point of publication of wedding banns is to make known impediments to marriage, and the publication of wedding announcements is to inform the community of the status of certain persons. Rings are another, better public announcement of unavailability - which is of course why so many men don’t wear them. They blame the job or whatever - fine, take it off from 9-5 but put it on all other times - all kinds of excuses why that isn’t practical. I would never trust a husband who wouldn’t wear his ring willingly and enthusiastically.

I found myself tricked once or twice in my travels, and those experiences upset me to think about. I have no sympathy for single women or men who knowingly engage in affairs with married people - in particular if they know the married person is a parent. I think it requires a certain level of narcissism and sociopathy in a person’s psychological makeup to engage in such behavior, and some do it exclusively. It’s gross.

You were a very odd teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why the public needs to blame at all. It isn’t our marriage and it wasn’t our choices.
It absolutely should not have been made public and I am sure it isn’t helping the situation but who are we to have an opinion. Just seems bizarre to me.

The OW made it public. Of course the public will have an opinion, just like everything else open for public consumption. Don't be an idiot.

And, btw, A Gallup poll conducted May 2021 found that 91% of Americans consider it to be either always or almost always wrong for married people to have sexual relations with someone other than their spouses, and in response to a separate but related question, 89% say that "married men and women having an affair" is morally unacceptable. A higher percentage than objected to infidelity than to human cloning, suicide, and polygamy. The poll aside, it's difficult to think of any other relatively common and technically legal (adulterous affairs are no longer subject to criminal sanction) practice of which more of us disapprove.

So that's America in 2021, and what's crazy is that of course includes people in their own affairs. It's ok for them, but not others, of course because their spouse will never find out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP and the others dumping on "the other woman" -- we get it. You were cheated on. It hurts. It hurts less to hate the other woman than to blame your spouse and grasp that deep betrayal.

It does get old listening to you after a while, though. You're like the ghost of a woman who haunts the bedroom of the house you used to live in, waking up the new couples who live there now and scaring the crap out of them until they pack up and leave, only to start anew when the new tenants replace them. The wailing must never get old to you I guess but it gets old on DCUM. I feel tricked into reading this thread, like, "Oh, hey, what are your thoughts on the other woman? I just noticed this with Adam Levine and was just wondering" when really it's just another hate-filled cuckquean opening the door so her her fellow ghosts can come flying in.

It was all over the entertainment board and twitter and the news. Much the same.