Diversity of schools - can this work both ways? Am I being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i have a few thoughts on this:

1. one of my high-achieving black friends pointed out to me recently that for her moms generation, right after desgregation, black people were willing to fight their way into recently desgregated "white" schools because they KNEW that those schools were better resourced and that kids were getting a better education. They were willing to face the racism they knew was coming for them for that opportunity.

2. many of us grew up that way -- as the only POC in a white school -- and are deeply traumatized by that experience and would never want it for our children. We want our kids to experience a happy, innocent childhood, to never feel "less than," AND to learn.

3. I'm a non-black POC who was the only non-white person in my class. I'm Asian. I was not with academic peers -- i was the only kid in my class to place in a few different national math competitions, i had the highest tested IQ in my grade, but still, the myth of white supremacy permeated that school because of the demographics and stuck on me.

4. POC have a much more complicated school choice decision tree than white people do. White people can send their kids to a very white school and not have to worry about the racism bit at all, because their child will not experience it. Will their kids experience some negative side effects (they may become more racist, be less likely to see the humanity in people of color?)? maybe. but i rarely meet white people who are concerned about that.

5. School integration is a dream that the civil rights movement initiated. we have not achieved it. I really believe that everyone would benefit from going to a school that feels truly integrated, with children of all different races. what can we all do to achieve that goal?

Are we all gonna let this obvious lie go? There's no school that gives real IQ tests to all of their kids. It's unnecessary for nearly all children, expensive, very time consuming and requires a qualified psychologist. And no school is going to share the results of the tests they DO conduct with other students.

I chucked at this as well. My first thought was, what school gives IQ tests to everyone (and why) and, even if they did, no school would or could publish the data. What I settled on was that this kid was "that kid" and went around to everyone in the class bragging about his scores ad asking what they got. It is a total d-bag move and no one else engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have been in majority black schools, ES and HS. There have been minimal problems. I’m not sure what you fear about your kid being in the minority. I don’t know why you post this? Do you want us to come reassure you that you’re not racist? What do you think it’s like to be one of the few white kids? From my observation, it’s not like being the only minority because there is something broken in white culture.

OP said being one of one or two kids. Is this your child's experience? I'd check in with them--there's lots to be concerned about, just like if your child were the only AA child in an all-other race school.

Uh yes, I have talked with my kids about it. And yes, my kid was one of two white kids. The other is in HS and is one of 6 white kids in a class of ~140. No, it is not the same as a minority in an all white school. White culture is pretty cruel. The other families have been very open and friendly. My outgoing child has a ton of friends. My other more introverted child has friends but not as many. But I also realize this is DCUM where people are open to ideas of diversity but reject it because of “class” or “other reasons”.

I am glad you had this experience. It was not my experience. I found it very lonely. If I were you I might check in with my more introverted child. They may be worried about disappointing you or not living up to the other sister or brothers experience. I did not bring in class, but actually I had a much better experience as an only at a different middle /upper class school. My attitudes towards education were mor akin and I found the classroom to be a less lonely space.

No need to project your experience onto my kids. I don’t need your parenting advice, random stranger on the internet.

NP. FWIW, I thought their reply was also out of bounds. You shared your experience. How or why that person felt it was needed or appropriate to reply as they did says nothing about you and everything about them. I bet this person is someone who tells other people "there's more than one way to skin a cat." Which doesn't mean there are other ways to approach something, it means I am passively aggressively telling you that, although there are several ways to do it, yours is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not send my kids to a school where they were the only.

If you need to know whether I am white or black or biracial in order to decide if this statement is defensive then you need to reexamine your moral "antiracism" superiority.

I can take a wild guess and assume you don’t associate with Black Americans based on this comment.

[Anonymous]

I live in MD and, if we stay in our house, my child will be one of less than 10 white kids at their school starting in a year. The rest of the school population is black.

We'll probably move. Although I want my child to experience diversity, I don't want them to be the one of the few of their race in the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have been in majority black schools, ES and HS. There have been minimal problems. I’m not sure what you fear about your kid being in the minority. I don’t know why you post this? Do you want us to come reassure you that you’re not racist? What do you think it’s like to be one of the few white kids? From my observation, it’s not like being the only minority because there is something broken in white culture.

OP said being one of one or two kids. Is this your child's experience? I'd check in with them--there's lots to be concerned about, just like if your child were the only AA child in an all-other race school.

Uh yes, I have talked with my kids about it. And yes, my kid was one of two white kids. The other is in HS and is one of 6 white kids in a class of ~140. No, it is not the same as a minority in an all white school. White culture is pretty cruel. The other families have been very open and friendly. My outgoing child has a ton of friends. My other more introverted child has friends but not as many. But I also realize this is DCUM where people are open to ideas of diversity but reject it because of “class” or “other reasons”.

I am glad you had this experience. It was not my experience. I found it very lonely. If I were you I might check in with my more introverted child. They may be worried about disappointing you or not living up to the other sister or brothers experience. I did not bring in class, but actually I had a much better experience as an only at a different middle /upper class school. My attitudes towards education were mor akin and I found the classroom to be a less lonely space.

No need to project your experience onto my kids. I don’t need your parenting advice, random stranger on the internet.

NP. FWIW, I thought their reply was also out of bounds. You shared your experience. How or why that person felt it was needed or appropriate to reply as they did says nothing about you and everything about them. I bet this person is someone who tells other people "there's more than one way to skin a cat." Which doesn't mean there are other ways to approach something, it means I am passively aggressively telling you that, although there are several ways to do it, yours is wrong.

Errr what? I'm saying check in with your introverted kid PP. I didn't tell my parents I was miserable. I just wept into my pillow at night .

[Anonymous]

Why would you send your kid to a school that is <1% of your kids race OP? Majority of schools in DC are diverse enough that it doesn’t have to be that extreme.

Focus more on the academic achievement of the students. Peer group performance is what is important, not race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have been in majority black schools, ES and HS. There have been minimal problems. I’m not sure what you fear about your kid being in the minority. I don’t know why you post this? Do you want us to come reassure you that you’re not racist? What do you think it’s like to be one of the few white kids? From my observation, it’s not like being the only minority because there is something broken in white culture.

OP said being one of one or two kids. Is this your child's experience? I'd check in with them--there's lots to be concerned about, just like if your child were the only AA child in an all-other race school.

Uh yes, I have talked with my kids about it. And yes, my kid was one of two white kids. The other is in HS and is one of 6 white kids in a class of ~140. No, it is not the same as a minority in an all white school. White culture is pretty cruel. The other families have been very open and friendly. My outgoing child has a ton of friends. My other more introverted child has friends but not as many. But I also realize this is DCUM where people are open to ideas of diversity but reject it because of “class” or “other reasons”.

I am glad you had this experience. It was not my experience. I found it very lonely. If I were you I might check in with my more introverted child. They may be worried about disappointing you or not living up to the other sister or brothers experience. I did not bring in class, but actually I had a much better experience as an only at a different middle /upper class school. My attitudes towards education were mor akin and I found the classroom to be a less lonely space.

No need to project your experience onto my kids. I don’t need your parenting advice, random stranger on the internet.

Sheesh, you sound like a peach. I didn’t have a pleasant experience as a white female student in a majority minority high school. It is my lived experience. It’s great that your kids are having a positive experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have been in majority black schools, ES and HS. There have been minimal problems. I’m not sure what you fear about your kid being in the minority. I don’t know why you post this? Do you want us to come reassure you that you’re not racist? What do you think it’s like to be one of the few white kids? From my observation, it’s not like being the only minority because there is something broken in white culture.

OP said being one of one or two kids. Is this your child's experience? I'd check in with them--there's lots to be concerned about, just like if your child were the only AA child in an all-other race school.

Uh yes, I have talked with my kids about it. And yes, my kid was one of two white kids. The other is in HS and is one of 6 white kids in a class of ~140. No, it is not the same as a minority in an all white school. White culture is pretty cruel. The other families have been very open and friendly. My outgoing child has a ton of friends. My other more introverted child has friends but not as many. But I also realize this is DCUM where people are open to ideas of diversity but reject it because of “class” or “other reasons”.

I am glad you had this experience. It was not my experience. I found it very lonely. If I were you I might check in with my more introverted child. They may be worried about disappointing you or not living up to the other sister or brothers experience. I did not bring in class, but actually I had a much better experience as an only at a different middle /upper class school. My attitudes towards education were mor akin and I found the classroom to be a less lonely space.

No need to project your experience onto my kids. I don’t need your parenting advice, random stranger on the internet.

Sheesh, you sound like a peach. I didn’t have a pleasant experience as a white female student in a majority minority high school. It is my lived experience. It’s great that your kids are having a positive experience.

You call me a peach after insulting my parenting? You have issues, lady.

[Anonymous]

I’m a NP, not a lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have been in majority black schools, ES and HS. There have been minimal problems. I’m not sure what you fear about your kid being in the minority. I don’t know why you post this? Do you want us to come reassure you that you’re not racist? What do you think it’s like to be one of the few white kids? From my observation, it’s not like being the only minority because there is something broken in white culture.

OP said being one of one or two kids. Is this your child's experience? I'd check in with them--there's lots to be concerned about, just like if your child were the only AA child in an all-other race school.

Uh yes, I have talked with my kids about it. And yes, my kid was one of two white kids. The other is in HS and is one of 6 white kids in a class of ~140. No, it is not the same as a minority in an all white school. White culture is pretty cruel. The other families have been very open and friendly. My outgoing child has a ton of friends. My other more introverted child has friends but not as many. But I also realize this is DCUM where people are open to ideas of diversity but reject it because of “class” or “other reasons”.

I am glad you had this experience. It was not my experience. I found it very lonely. If I were you I might check in with my more introverted child. They may be worried about disappointing you or not living up to the other sister or brothers experience. I did not bring in class, but actually I had a much better experience as an only at a different middle /upper class school. My attitudes towards education were mor akin and I found the classroom to be a less lonely space.

No need to project your experience onto my kids. I don’t need your parenting advice, random stranger on the internet.

Sheesh, you sound like a peach. I didn’t have a pleasant experience as a white female student in a majority minority high school. It is my lived experience. It’s great that your kids are having a positive experience.

NP. In all fairness, what you did and what the other person did are not the same. You just shared your experience. You didn't follow that up with a suggestion that the other person should double check because it is likely their kid is secretly miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have been in majority black schools, ES and HS. There have been minimal problems. I’m not sure what you fear about your kid being in the minority. I don’t know why you post this? Do you want us to come reassure you that you’re not racist? What do you think it’s like to be one of the few white kids? From my observation, it’s not like being the only minority because there is something broken in white culture.

OP said being one of one or two kids. Is this your child's experience? I'd check in with them--there's lots to be concerned about, just like if your child were the only AA child in an all-other race school.

Uh yes, I have talked with my kids about it. And yes, my kid was one of two white kids. The other is in HS and is one of 6 white kids in a class of ~140. No, it is not the same as a minority in an all white school. White culture is pretty cruel. The other families have been very open and friendly. My outgoing child has a ton of friends. My other more introverted child has friends but not as many. But I also realize this is DCUM where people are open to ideas of diversity but reject it because of “class” or “other reasons”.

I am glad you had this experience. It was not my experience. I found it very lonely. If I were you I might check in with my more introverted child. They may be worried about disappointing you or not living up to the other sister or brothers experience. I did not bring in class, but actually I had a much better experience as an only at a different middle /upper class school. My attitudes towards education were mor akin and I found the classroom to be a less lonely space.

No need to project your experience onto my kids. I don’t need your parenting advice, random stranger on the internet.

Sheesh, you sound like a peach. I didn’t have a pleasant experience as a white female student in a majority minority high school. It is my lived experience. It’s great that your kids are having a positive experience.

NP. In all fairness, what you did and what the other person did are not the same. You just shared your experience. You didn't follow that up with a suggestion that the other person should double check because it is likely their kid is secretly miserable.

NP. In reading PP’s post about her kids, I sort of came away with the impression that because her older, extroverted 1 of 6 kid is fine, her younger, introverted 1 of 2 kid is as well. The way she really described one kid’s experience and then basically said the other kid’s was not as good but fine…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have been in majority black schools, ES and HS. There have been minimal problems. I’m not sure what you fear about your kid being in the minority. I don’t know why you post this? Do you want us to come reassure you that you’re not racist? What do you think it’s like to be one of the few white kids? From my observation, it’s not like being the only minority because there is something broken in white culture.

OP said being one of one or two kids. Is this your child's experience? I'd check in with them--there's lots to be concerned about, just like if your child were the only AA child in an all-other race school.

Uh yes, I have talked with my kids about it. And yes, my kid was one of two white kids. The other is in HS and is one of 6 white kids in a class of ~140. No, it is not the same as a minority in an all white school. White culture is pretty cruel. The other families have been very open and friendly. My outgoing child has a ton of friends. My other more introverted child has friends but not as many. But I also realize this is DCUM where people are open to ideas of diversity but reject it because of “class” or “other reasons”.

I am glad you had this experience. It was not my experience. I found it very lonely. If I were you I might check in with my more introverted child. They may be worried about disappointing you or not living up to the other sister or brothers experience. I did not bring in class, but actually I had a much better experience as an only at a different middle /upper class school. My attitudes towards education were mor akin and I found the classroom to be a less lonely space.

No need to project your experience onto my kids. I don’t need your parenting advice, random stranger on the internet.

Sheesh, you sound like a peach. I didn’t have a pleasant experience as a white female student in a majority minority high school. It is my lived experience. It’s great that your kids are having a positive experience.

NP. In all fairness, what you did and what the other person did are not the same. You just shared your experience. You didn't follow that up with a suggestion that the other person should double check because it is likely their kid is secretly miserable.

NP. In reading PP’s post about her kids, I sort of came away with the impression that because her older, extroverted 1 of 6 kid is fine, her younger, introverted 1 of 2 kid is as well. The way she really described one kid’s experience and then basically said the other kid’s was not as good but fine…

Assuming your read is accurate, from that you took her to mean that she needed or wanted parenting advice? Or that rando DCUM posters probably know more about her kid than she does? Ok...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have been in majority black schools, ES and HS. There have been minimal problems. I’m not sure what you fear about your kid being in the minority. I don’t know why you post this? Do you want us to come reassure you that you’re not racist? What do you think it’s like to be one of the few white kids? From my observation, it’s not like being the only minority because there is something broken in white culture.

OP said being one of one or two kids. Is this your child's experience? I'd check in with them--there's lots to be concerned about, just like if your child were the only AA child in an all-other race school.

Uh yes, I have talked with my kids about it. And yes, my kid was one of two white kids. The other is in HS and is one of 6 white kids in a class of ~140. No, it is not the same as a minority in an all white school. White culture is pretty cruel. The other families have been very open and friendly. My outgoing child has a ton of friends. My other more introverted child has friends but not as many. But I also realize this is DCUM where people are open to ideas of diversity but reject it because of “class” or “other reasons”.

I am glad you had this experience. It was not my experience. I found it very lonely. If I were you I might check in with my more introverted child. They may be worried about disappointing you or not living up to the other sister or brothers experience. I did not bring in class, but actually I had a much better experience as an only at a different middle /upper class school. My attitudes towards education were mor akin and I found the classroom to be a less lonely space.

No need to project your experience onto my kids. I don’t need your parenting advice, random stranger on the internet.

Sheesh, you sound like a peach. I didn’t have a pleasant experience as a white female student in a majority minority high school. It is my lived experience. It’s great that your kids are having a positive experience.

NP. In all fairness, what you did and what the other person did are not the same. You just shared your experience. You didn't follow that up with a suggestion that the other person should double check because it is likely their kid is secretly miserable.

NP. In reading PP’s post about her kids, I sort of came away with the impression that because her older, extroverted 1 of 6 kid is fine, her younger, introverted 1 of 2 kid is as well. The way she really described one kid’s experience and then basically said the other kid’s was not as good but fine…

Assuming your read is accurate, from that you took her to mean that she needed or wanted parenting advice? Or that rando DCUM posters probably know more about her kid than she does? Ok...

She was spitballing and people spitballed back. It's a discussion forum.

[Anonymous]

My kid didn’t have a ton of friends at a 65% “not his race or class” school. Can’t imagine him being at 90% “not his race or class” school.
I could maybe risk it in high school for college admission purposes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid didn’t have a ton of friends at a 65% “not his race or class” school. Can’t imagine him being at 90% “not his race or class” school.
I could maybe risk it in high school for college admission purposes

Maybe your kid is just a loser.

O.M.G. What is wrong with you?!