Why do freshman parents hang around at drop off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you go at all? We sent our college freshman to school by herself on a flight and had shipped most of her things beforehand so they were waiting in the room. Different strokes. There's not a right or wrong way to do this, it depends on the kid and the family.

Reminds me of a story that I read decades ago. Kid was admitted to one of the LACs in Maine. Parents bought kid an airline ticket to Portland and somehow the kid ended up in Oregon.

This is so funny. A good reminder that they are "all grown up," except in the ways they are not.

Everyone's kid is different. How about trusting them to know how to parent their kid, and you focus on parenting yours.

That is an excellent story! My friend's son came home from NE college tour with neighbors and pronounced he wanted to go to Hamilton. Got in, put down deposit, drove son there for drop off where he said "this isn't the one I meant" - turns out he liked Colgate located in Hamilton NY! All worked out - he stayed and loved it and now they have a great story .
Enjoy the journey!
!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To attend the parent orientation the college organizes.

Also to all the PPs claiming the kids will be home soon for fall break, thanksgiving… not all kids. Quarter schools don’t have a fall break. Kids who live far away and aren’t wealthy won’t come back for thanksgiving… many kids do internships in the area they go to school or elsewhere and won’t be home for summer.

LOL. The "parent orientations" are set up precisely so the colleges can force the crazy parents who can't let go to separate from the kids. They're useless otherwise. We never attended any of them.

Great for you. Some schools have first gen families. Perhaps they benefit from these programs you look down your nose at--so typical.

[Anonymous]

meet other parents, go out with them, visit the area, go fishing, golfing,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we don't want to do the move in and then drive 7 hours home at night. Since we need to eat, why not take the kid and the new roommate for their last non-cafeteria meal?

The school had tons of orientation type of events and mixers planned for the day and evening. I’m with you OP, our son said goodbye, allowed hugs and pics from both of us in the parking lot and didn’t look back as we drove off.

Most universities make it crystal clear when they want parents to leave (and when it's okay to take your kid/roommates out to a final lunch/dinner). I leave when the school says to. WIth first I stayed in town until next morning, but that's because I wanted to take a direct flight. But I did not see/communicate with my kid.
WIth 2nd, I'm supposed to leave by 2/3pm. I have a 7pm flight

[Anonymous]

We stay an extra day or two because we enjoy the area where our son goes to school. It's not so much for him as it is for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To attend the parent orientation the college organizes.

Also to all the PPs claiming the kids will be home soon for fall break, thanksgiving… not all kids. Quarter schools don’t have a fall break. Kids who live far away and aren’t wealthy won’t come back for thanksgiving… many kids do internships in the area they go to school or elsewhere and won’t be home for summer.

LOL. The "parent orientations" are set up precisely so the colleges can force the crazy parents who can't let go to separate from the kids. They're useless otherwise. We never attended any of them.

Great for you. Some schools have first gen families. Perhaps they benefit from these programs you look down your nose at--so typical.

Go to a smaller school (under 10K) and the programs are very useful, even for your 2nd/3rd kid, unless your kids all attend the same school. These smaller schools actually want to communicate with parents. I've always found it extremely useful (and I'm not a helicopter parent, I let/make my kid do things themselves)

[Anonymous]

I agree, OP. I have four college grads. One in college now. We helped unload. Hugs and kisses. And drove home. They are adults. If they need mommy and daddy to help them get settled in the dorm, they likely weren’t ready for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it really. Last year for drop off of our freshman four hours away, we got a hotel for the night before in town. We had an early check in time the next day (Saturday). We unloaded everything, did a bit of help for organizing and then said our goodbyes. The room was a 4/2 and it just got crowded with the other girls and their families. We didn’t stay to decorate and get everything just so. We didn’t take her to lunch or dinner. We just drove off back home as she started her next chapter.

I noticed in the FB page where parents are talking about making a weekend of it (understandable), but they are talking about how much time they plan to spend to get the rooms Insta ready, take their kids with them and/or stop by for breakfast and or lunch before driving off home. Maybe their kid needs a longer goodbye or they do, but that is all foreign to me!

If we tried decorating HER room, she would have a literal conniption fit.

I know everyone is different with a goodbye and I’m trying not to judge, but if you are one help me understand!

That's what may parents did...though I think we didn't even stay the night before. 4.5 hours away and they did a round trip---drop off and drive home same day.

I was ecstatic and met new friends and went to off-campus parties that night .

My dad was always very emotional dropping us off which I think is part of the reason he would hightail it out of there.

[Anonymous]

Why are nosey adults interested in how other people live their lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are nosey adults interested in how other people live their lives?

Pot meet kettle!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are nosey adults interested in how other people live their lives?

Pot meet kettle!

Pot meets kettle how?

[Anonymous]

They do not hang around at all.

[Anonymous]

Every family will navigate this in their own way - it is all okay. We are a hands off family - that worked. DS roommate was a very hands on family - that worked also. And we became friends!.And appreciated each other. So long as your child feels supported, however that looks to them, they will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it really. Last year for drop off of our freshman four hours away, we got a hotel for the night before in town. We had an early check in time the next day (Saturday). We unloaded everything, did a bit of help for organizing and then said our goodbyes. The room was a 4/2 and it just got crowded with the other girls and their families. We didn’t stay to decorate and get everything just so. We didn’t take her to lunch or dinner. We just drove off back home as she started her next chapter.

I noticed in the FB page where parents are talking about making a weekend of it (understandable), but they are talking about how much time they plan to spend to get the rooms Insta ready, take their kids with them and/or stop by for breakfast and or lunch before driving off home. Maybe their kid needs a longer goodbye or they do, but that is all foreign to me!

If we tried decorating HER room, she would have a literal conniption fit.

I know everyone is different with a goodbye and I’m trying not to judge, but if you are one help me understand!

It was a good idea two decades ago but in the day and age of FaceTime, Uber, Ubereats, Amazon etc., there is no need. However, you can explore the town and have peace of mind for being nearby to help while kiddo settles in. Its there time to focus on college so don't hover over them. Let them soar!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every family will navigate this in their own way - it is all okay. We are a hands off family - that worked. DS roommate was a very hands on family - that worked also. And we became friends!.And appreciated each other. So long as your child feels supported, however that looks to them, they will be fine.

Wow, you are a unicorn here. Common sense and reasonable outlooks are not welcome here. You need to either kick your kid out of the car or spend 3 days painting a mural on their wall to seem normal...