Why do freshman parents hang around at drop off?

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it really. Last year for drop off of our freshman four hours away, we got a hotel for the night before in town. We had an early check in time the next day (Saturday). We unloaded everything, did a bit of help for organizing and then said our goodbyes. The room was a 4/2 and it just got crowded with the other girls and their families. We didn’t stay to decorate and get everything just so. We didn’t take her to lunch or dinner. We just drove off back home as she started her next chapter.

I noticed in the FB page where parents are talking about making a weekend of it (understandable), but they are talking about how much time they plan to spend to get the rooms Insta ready, take their kids with them and/or stop by for breakfast and or lunch before driving off home. Maybe their kid needs a longer goodbye or they do, but that is all foreign to me!

If we tried decorating HER room, she would have a literal conniption fit.

I know everyone is different with a goodbye and I’m trying not to judge, but if you are one help me understand!

[Anonymous]

Not everyone is you.

[Anonymous]

Last year we dropped off my DD at an OOS school. My DH stayed back for 2 weeks to be around till DD was settled in. It was great peace of mind for us. Each kid/family is different.

[Anonymous]

Because we don't want to do the move in and then drive 7 hours home at night. Since we need to eat, why not take the kid and the new roommate for their last non-cafeteria meal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because we don't want to do the move in and then drive 7 hours home at night. Since we need to eat, why not take the kid and the new roommate for their last non-cafeteria meal?

The school had tons of orientation type of events and mixers planned for the day and evening. I’m with you OP, our son said goodbye, allowed hugs and pics from both of us in the parking lot and didn’t look back as we drove off.

[Anonymous]

What is there to understand? Some kids like hanging out with their parents.

[Anonymous]

My son didn’t want me to leave. I kept saying things like “why don’t I get out of your way so you can unpack/rearrange/decorate” and he kept saying I wasn’t in the way and he wanted my input. He is a mama’s boy and this was hard for him. I left when he was ready.

[Anonymous]

A few years ago when my son was a freshman I remember another parent on the facebook group planned to do this. She said they had the hotel booked for several days after move in and wanted to know if they (the parents) could go with her daughter to all the meetings, activities, etc. It was (nicely) explained to her that the dorm meetings and activities were only for students and there was really no point to the parents hanging around town for several days.

[Anonymous]

DS does not do decoration.
However he has special needs and wherever he ends up for college, I will have to fight the urge to stay close and hold his hand through all the administrative work he needs to do. I'll worry about him losing his keys, losing his ID, forgetting sign-up deadlines for various things... I'm not entirely sure he's even ready for college, as a rising senior.

Ugh. So stressful. For both of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we don't want to do the move in and then drive 7 hours home at night. Since we need to eat, why not take the kid and the new roommate for their last non-cafeteria meal?

The school had tons of orientation type of events and mixers planned for the day and evening. I’m with you OP, our son said goodbye, allowed hugs and pics from both of us in the parking lot and didn’t look back as we drove off.

Well, obviously if the kids have other plans they'll do that. I'm still going to dinner and getting a good night's sleep before driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last year we dropped off my DD at an OOS school. My DH stayed back for 2 weeks to be around till DD was settled in. It was great peace of mind for us. Each kid/family is different.

Whoa

[Anonymous]

My son and I have a much closer relationship than you and your daughter do?

[Anonymous]

It really does not matter what other parents do with their kids, does it?

I happened to do the same, we helped them move in their boxes and suitcases and then we hugged goodbye. It was important to us that they had that time to bond with their roommate and hall mates, as we did when we were kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last year we dropped off my DD at an OOS school. My DH stayed back for 2 weeks to be around till DD was settled in. It was great peace of mind for us. Each kid/family is different.

Two weeks??? Did I read that right?

Who has the time to be away from work or money to stay in a hotel for that long? What exactly would dad do to help resolve issues—show DD where the library is? Help her meet kids? That is not okay.

[Anonymous]

I don’t this is a new thing. I went to college in ‘90 and my parents hung around to help me set up my room. It worked out well because there were a few things I needed but didn’t plan for.