Why do freshman parents hang around at drop off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it really. Last year for drop off of our freshman four hours away, we got a hotel for the night before in town. We had an early check in time the next day (Saturday). We unloaded everything, did a bit of help for organizing and then said our goodbyes. The room was a 4/2 and it just got crowded with the other girls and their families. We didn’t stay to decorate and get everything just so. We didn’t take her to lunch or dinner. We just drove off back home as she started her next chapter.

I noticed in the FB page where parents are talking about making a weekend of it (understandable), but they are talking about how much time they plan to spend to get the rooms Insta ready, take their kids with them and/or stop by for breakfast and or lunch before driving off home. Maybe their kid needs a longer goodbye or they do, but that is all foreign to me!

If we tried decorating HER room, she would have a literal conniption fit.

I know everyone is different with a goodbye and I’m trying not to judge, but if you are one help me understand!

np These two statements are not in sync. You say you know "everyone is different" but, honestly you don't. And you have a lot of judgement by just posting here. You want a pat on the back by having a kid who is more than ready to be independent. Here is your cookie but, you don't need to me to explain why some parents choose differently. Just go ahead thinking you are the superior person/parent and leave the rest of us humans alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was an international student and my parents put me on a plane to college with one suitcase.
I was amazed at the amount of stuff US kids seem to want and need.
Everything worked out fine. I took the local bus to Target a few times to get stuff.
My parents finally came and saw my college at graduation. It was a long trip and $$ for them.

I guess because of my experience, my kids are pretty independent.
My daughter started college 2 years ago. We were not even allowed in the dorms. Drove her there, dropped everything at the door and said good bye.

Another internationanal student turned US parent here.
I won a full ride scholarship and was put on the plane with my luggage and high school English. I did Ok.
My kids are going to push me out of their dorm and wave bye bye as soon as they can 🤨

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do you OP + let others do them. You seem smug. A few extra hours/days does not make a difference if it makes people feel better.

OP here. I’m trying honestly to understand why parents do it, not judging at all.

You though seem like a very small person who wants to post on a thread and name call just to make yourself feel better.

Ha! Pot meet kettle. ( not pp)

[Anonymous]

We are moving in at 9 am on Saturday. DD wants us to help with cleaning and set up and then go to Target/grocery and lunch. Because it will be a long day, we’re planning on spending that night nearby before driving home. We’ll see how much DD actually wants us there.

This will also be our younger DD’s first time there, so we will walk around with them after finishing with move in for the older one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
LOL. The "parent orientations" are set up precisely so the colleges can force the crazy parents who can't let go to separate from the kids. They're useless otherwise. We never attended any of them.

We feel the same way with the “parent weekends”. We visited on our way to a vacation on a non football weekend about six weeks after fall began. She was proud to walk us around campus and loved we bought lunch for a grateful poor kid. We also did a bit of grocery shopping. Her and her roommates were not social and barely connected. We NEVER once met their parents.

Those weekends just seem like forced fundraisers with their games and movie on the lawn. We are not football fans at all. It was quieter in town. We didn’t have to wait for a table. Much more enjoyable.

Why would you expect to meet your kid's roommates parents? That is strange.

[Anonymous]

They’re doing gentle parenting, aka hand holding their kids, so they never have to show discipline or tough love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
LOL. The "parent orientations" are set up precisely so the colleges can force the crazy parents who can't let go to separate from the kids. They're useless otherwise. We never attended any of them.

We feel the same way with the “parent weekends”. We visited on our way to a vacation on a non football weekend about six weeks after fall began. She was proud to walk us around campus and loved we bought lunch for a grateful poor kid. We also did a bit of grocery shopping. Her and her roommates were not social and barely connected. We NEVER once met their parents.

Those weekends just seem like forced fundraisers with their games and movie on the lawn. We are not football fans at all. It was quieter in town. We didn’t have to wait for a table. Much more enjoyable.

You lost me at "we bought lunch for a poor kid" and "we are not football fans at all." You sound self-righteous and boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re doing gentle parenting, aka hand holding their kids, so they never have to show discipline or tough love.

Again big leaps of assumption. Just because parents stick around a bit does not mean they have never disciplined. Please define "tough love" that you use because that is a word that has many different meanings. Yeah you feel superior. But why not assume that most parents are doing the best that they can and give what their child needs without thinking of what strangers think! How exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
LOL. The "parent orientations" are set up precisely so the colleges can force the crazy parents who can't let go to separate from the kids. They're useless otherwise. We never attended any of them.

We feel the same way with the “parent weekends”. We visited on our way to a vacation on a non football weekend about six weeks after fall began. She was proud to walk us around campus and loved we bought lunch for a grateful poor kid. We also did a bit of grocery shopping. Her and her roommates were not social and barely connected. We NEVER once met their parents.

Those weekends just seem like forced fundraisers with their games and movie on the lawn. We are not football fans at all. It was quieter in town. We didn’t have to wait for a table. Much more enjoyable.

Why would you expect to meet your kid's roommates parents? That is strange.

Where did I once say I expected to meet my kid’s roommates parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
LOL. The "parent orientations" are set up precisely so the colleges can force the crazy parents who can't let go to separate from the kids. They're useless otherwise. We never attended any of them.

We feel the same way with the “parent weekends”. We visited on our way to a vacation on a non football weekend about six weeks after fall began. She was proud to walk us around campus and loved we bought lunch for a grateful poor kid. We also did a bit of grocery shopping. Her and her roommates were not social and barely connected. We NEVER once met their parents.

Those weekends just seem like forced fundraisers with their games and movie on the lawn. We are not football fans at all. It was quieter in town. We didn’t have to wait for a table. Much more enjoyable.

You lost me at "we bought lunch for a poor kid" and "we are not football fans at all." You sound self-righteous and boring.

Why because we are not football fans and our kid is a poor with no money college kid. You sound like a mean spirited little troll.!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
LOL. The "parent orientations" are set up precisely so the colleges can force the crazy parents who can't let go to separate from the kids. They're useless otherwise. We never attended any of them.

We feel the same way with the “parent weekends”. We visited on our way to a vacation on a non football weekend about six weeks after fall began. She was proud to walk us around campus and loved we bought lunch for a grateful poor kid. We also did a bit of grocery shopping. Her and her roommates were not social and barely connected. We NEVER once met their parents.

Those weekends just seem like forced fundraisers with their games and movie on the lawn. We are not football fans at all. It was quieter in town. We didn’t have to wait for a table. Much more enjoyable.

You lost me at "we bought lunch for a poor kid" and "we are not football fans at all." You sound self-righteous and boring.

Why because we are not football fans and our kid is a poor with no money college kid. You sound like a mean spirited little troll.!

dp it is the way you said it. You could have just said "went out to lunch with your kid and their friend without mentioning the poor part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year we dropped off my DD at an OOS school. My DH stayed back for 2 weeks to be around till DD was settled in. It was great peace of mind for us. Each kid/family is different.

Whoa

Two weeks… is a lot. At least Dad went home eventually!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because we don't want to do the move in and then drive 7 hours home at night. Since we need to eat, why not take the kid and the new roommate for their last non-cafeteria meal?

This was us last year. We drive the kid to school and unloaded him. We took him to dinner and dropped him off at the dorm. We got a hotel room and got some sleep, because my 50+ year old ass was not doing a 4 hour drive twice in the same day. We took the kid to breakfast the next day and then headed home. It wasn’t hovering. It was just logistics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
LOL. The "parent orientations" are set up precisely so the colleges can force the crazy parents who can't let go to separate from the kids. They're useless otherwise. We never attended any of them.

We feel the same way with the “parent weekends”. We visited on our way to a vacation on a non football weekend about six weeks after fall began. She was proud to walk us around campus and loved we bought lunch for a grateful poor kid. We also did a bit of grocery shopping. Her and her roommates were not social and barely connected. We NEVER once met their parents.

Those weekends just seem like forced fundraisers with their games and movie on the lawn. We are not football fans at all. It was quieter in town. We didn’t have to wait for a table. Much more enjoyable.

You lost me at "we bought lunch for a poor kid" and "we are not football fans at all." You sound self-righteous and boring.

Why because we are not football fans and our kid is a poor with no money college kid. You sound like a mean spirited little troll.!

Ah, sorry, I thought you were talking about another kid -- not your kid. My bad. But I'd still take in a football game if I were you. Don't be a fuddy duddy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
LOL. The "parent orientations" are set up precisely so the colleges can force the crazy parents who can't let go to separate from the kids. They're useless otherwise. We never attended any of them.

We feel the same way with the “parent weekends”. We visited on our way to a vacation on a non football weekend about six weeks after fall began. She was proud to walk us around campus and loved we bought lunch for a grateful poor kid. We also did a bit of grocery shopping. Her and her roommates were not social and barely connected. [b]We NEVER once met their parents. [/b]

Those weekends just seem like forced fundraisers with their games and movie on the lawn. We are not football fans at all. It was quieter in town. We didn’t have to wait for a table. Much more enjoyable.

Why would you expect to meet your kid's roommates parents? That is strange.

Where did I once say I expected to meet my kid’s roommates parents?

Read the bolded. sounded like you had expectations. Seemed strange to mention it at all