Why do freshman parents hang around at drop off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you go at all? We sent our college freshman to school by herself on a flight and had shipped most of her things beforehand so they were waiting in the room. Different strokes. There's not a right or wrong way to do this, it depends on the kid and the family.

Reminds me of a story that I read decades ago. Kid was admitted to one of the LACs in Maine. Parents bought kid an airline ticket to Portland and somehow the kid ended up in Oregon.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm a dinosaur. In the early 90s my parents helped me pack my car and i drove 15 hours to college by myself. DS is a rising senior and our oldest. I would imagine the parting won't be quite as extreme as I experienced!

In 1987, I loaded my car and drive myself to college, too. Hugged my mom on the porch, got in the car, and pulled around the block to the gas station to fuel up. Then I put my head on the steering wheel and bawled for 10 minutes. I called my mom from a pay phone when I got to school. I cried for another 10 minutes when I hung up. After that I had a blast!

No one cares about stories from the 80s.

Same experience for me in the 2000s except I had a cell phone to call home.

I didn't see the need for my parents to come. I could unload the car on my own and if I hadn't wanted to they had upper classman volunteering to carry stuff that day.

Good for you but, other kids/people have different needs and wants.

You mean other parents. None of this is about kids.

You don’t know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to be snarky but worst thing you can do is lurk on the Parent FB page at any school. I didn't pay attention to the FB page at all until I checked it out Sophomore year. I quickly realized how thankful I was to have such a pleasant and stress-free year doing things my own way -and following DC's lead - and not listening to all sorts of crazy advice, or hearing others problems, anxieties and rantings about this and that. Honestly I didn't have a care in the world when some parents were losing their minds over things being posted and all sorts of ridiculous advice being doled out. Unfollow that page and you do you OP. It's the best!

Idk… it was very helpful when my son was rushed to the hospital and we needed a specialist.

[Anonymous]

Your post belies your last line.

You think you and your wife played it perfectly, and wonder why other families are not as wise.

Mind your own...bees wax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you go at all? We sent our college freshman to school by herself on a flight and had shipped most of her things beforehand so they were waiting in the room. Different strokes. There's not a right or wrong way to do this, it depends on the kid and the family.

Reminds me of a story that I read decades ago. Kid was admitted to one of the LACs in Maine. Parents bought kid an airline ticket to Portland and somehow the kid ended up in Oregon.

This is so funny. A good reminder that they are "all grown up," except in the ways they are not.

Everyone's kid is different. How about trusting them to know how to parent their kid, and you focus on parenting yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had to stay around for several hours to make sure that the hot tub that we had just lugged up several flights of stairs got hooked up properly & was in good working order.

Feel a bit guilty though because I let him set up the Tiki bar, although I was kind enough to get rid of that darn desky type thing that someone had left in the room.

Also feel bad because we had to leave prior to the arrival of the king size adjustable bed.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son didn’t want me to leave. I kept saying things like “why don’t I get out of your way so you can unpack/rearrange/decorate” and he kept saying I wasn’t in the way and he wanted my input. He is a mama’s boy and this was hard for him. I left when he was ready.

I remember not wanting my mom to leave either. My roommate wasn't moving into the room until the next day and I just felt very insecure. We went out to dinner and on the way back, my RA realized that I would be by myself and took me down the hall to introduce me to some people. That's when my mom left. I felt much better then. Who do you care what other people do OP? You do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your post belies your last line.

You think you and your wife played it perfectly, and wonder why other families are not as wise.

Mind your own...bees wax.

Exactly and OP took offense when called out earlier in thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to be snarky but worst thing you can do is lurk on the Parent FB page at any school. I didn't pay attention to the FB page at all until I checked it out Sophomore year. I quickly realized how thankful I was to have such a pleasant and stress-free year doing things my own way -and following DC's lead - and not listening to all sorts of crazy advice, or hearing others problems, anxieties and rantings about this and that. Honestly I didn't have a care in the world when some parents were losing their minds over things being posted and all sorts of ridiculous advice being doled out. Unfollow that page and you do you OP. It's the best!

I’m chiming in here because you (or someone like you) have posted this before and I almost didn’t join my DC’s college’s parent FB page because of it. I finally did, anyway, and found that it is not like this at all. It’s mostly just parents asking very reasonable questions and it’s actually pretty useful. The only thing I roll my eyes at is people asking questions about things that are clearly posted on the college web site, but it’s easy enough to ignore those. Every now and then a nervous parent will post with the beginnings of a freak out about something and the parent of an older student will jump in and say something reassuring and calm them down. It’s been a surprise, because my DC’s school has a bit of a reputation for being a school full of spoiled rich kids, and so far the parent’s page is nothing but kind and helpful people. No doubt some of these pages may be as you describe, but I wouldn’t assume all of them are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it really. Last year for drop off of our freshman four hours away, we got a hotel for the night before in town. We had an early check in time the next day (Saturday). We unloaded everything, did a bit of help for organizing and then said our goodbyes. The room was a 4/2 and it just got crowded with the other girls and their families. We didn’t stay to decorate and get everything just so. We didn’t take her to lunch or dinner. We just drove off back home as she started her next chapter.

I noticed in the FB page where parents are talking about making a weekend of it (understandable), but they are talking about how much time they plan to spend to get the rooms Insta ready, take their kids with them and/or stop by for breakfast and or lunch before driving off home. Maybe their kid needs a longer goodbye or they do, but that is all foreign to me!

If we tried decorating HER room, she would have a literal conniption fit.

I know everyone is different with a goodbye and I’m trying not to judge, but if you are one help me understand!

Yes, you are. No one believes that you are incapable of understanding why a parent might help their kid unpack even though you didn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do you OP + let others do them. You seem smug. A few extra hours/days does not make a difference if it makes people feel better.

OP here. I’m trying honestly to understand why parents do it, not judging at all.

You though seem like a very small person who wants to post on a thread and name call just to make yourself feel better.

You don’t need to “understand.” Sometimes in life, people make different choices than you do and that’s perfectly valid.

You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

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LOL. The "parent orientations" are set up precisely so the colleges can force the crazy parents who can't let go to separate from the kids. They're useless otherwise. We never attended any of them.

We feel the same way with the “parent weekends”. We visited on our way to a vacation on a non football weekend about six weeks after fall began. She was proud to walk us around campus and loved we bought lunch for a grateful poor kid. We also did a bit of grocery shopping. Her and her roommates were not social and barely connected. [b]We NEVER once met their parents. [/b]

Those weekends just seem like forced fundraisers with their games and movie on the lawn. We are not football fans at all. It was quieter in town. We didn’t have to wait for a table. Much more enjoyable.

Why would you expect to meet your kid's roommates parents? That is strange.

Where did I once say I expected to meet my kid’s roommates parents?

Read the bolded. sounded like you had expectations. Seemed strange to mention it at all

Sorry but to me parents weekend sounds like not only time to see your kid but meet other kid’s parents. Some of them talking about looking forward to meeting in person the way the FB parents talk. I have my own group of friends, I don’t need to meet other parents like it is a play date.

I have my own friends and I’m friends with my kids roommates parents, I’m actually friends with about 5 of them after 4 years. I get some people have social anxiety and don’t care to meet people or make friends but I’ve met some great people at my son’s college,

Wow. This is really and truly pathetic.

NP-What is truly pathetic about the post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do you OP + let others do them. You seem smug. A few extra hours/days does not make a difference if it makes people feel better.

OP here. I’m trying honestly to understand why parents do it, not judging at all.

You though seem like a very small person who wants to post on a thread and name call just to make yourself feel better.

You don’t need to “understand.” Sometimes in life, people make different choices than you do and that’s perfectly valid.

You’re welcome.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because we don't want to do the move in and then drive 7 hours home at night. Since we need to eat, why not take the kid and the new roommate for their last non-cafeteria meal?

LOL Oh honey, who are you kidding. Rich and even middle class kids all eat non cafeteria food all year — including this week. I think it’s incredibly wasteful but “cool” (wealthy) kids start “flexing” by avoiding the cafeteria and then middle class kids who can’t really afford to eat out end up doing it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to be snarky but worst thing you can do is lurk on the Parent FB page at any school. I didn't pay attention to the FB page at all until I checked it out Sophomore year. I quickly realized how thankful I was to have such a pleasant and stress-free year doing things my own way -and following DC's lead - and not listening to all sorts of crazy advice, or hearing others problems, anxieties and rantings about this and that. Honestly I didn't have a care in the world when some parents were losing their minds over things being posted and all sorts of ridiculous advice being doled out. Unfollow that page and you do you OP. It's the best!

You sound just like the posters in the family forum estranged from half their family with kids who barely talk to you. Everything you post tries to rationalize and spin that happy, tight-knit and involved parents are bad, actually. Everyone ELSE is “crazy” and “ridiculous” … you’re perfect. Yeah, sure.