Why do freshman parents hang around at drop off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it really. Last year for drop off of our freshman four hours away, we got a hotel for the night before in town. We had an early check in time the next day (Saturday). We unloaded everything, did a bit of help for organizing and then said our goodbyes. The room was a 4/2 and it just got crowded with the other girls and their families. We didn’t stay to decorate and get everything just so. We didn’t take her to lunch or dinner. We just drove off back home as she started her next chapter.

I noticed in the FB page where parents are talking about making a weekend of it (understandable), but they are talking about how much time they plan to spend to get the rooms Insta ready, take their kids with them and/or stop by for breakfast and or lunch before driving off home. Maybe their kid needs a longer goodbye or they do, but that is all foreign to me!

If we tried decorating HER room, she would have a literal conniption fit.

I know everyone is different with a goodbye and I’m trying not to judge, but if you are one help me understand!

Yet here you are judging away thinking everyone should be like you.

[Anonymous]

I'm a dinosaur. In the early 90s my parents helped me pack my car and i drove 15 hours to college by myself. DS is a rising senior and our oldest. I would imagine the parting won't be quite as extreme as I experienced!

[Anonymous]

I wish my parents stuck around to help decorate. They didn’t have jobs that afforded them the opportunity to do much more than move me in, then head home so they could go to work.

[Anonymous]

I went to college across country. My parents dropped me off, went on a one week local vacation, and then popped back in before flying home. In the 90s. That was nice and useful because by then there were a few things I needed. Pre-Amazon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a dinosaur. In the early 90s my parents helped me pack my car and i drove 15 hours to college by myself. DS is a rising senior and our oldest. I would imagine the parting won't be quite as extreme as I experienced!

I also went to college then ‘94. My parents and grandparents took me to college. Freshman weren’t allowed cars. They helped me unpack, they took me shopping, then to lunch. We took pictures. It was especially moving for my grandma because she didn’t go to college.

[Anonymous]

We are local, so we will be in and out after we help our DS move in. We also know his room mate so we will probably be getting them lunch if they want. I’ll be available to drop off anything hr needs, so he is not worried. He’ll be coming home for all the celebrations etc, and I know for sure he will be minimalistic in what he keeps in the dorm. He plans to pack clothes for two weeks only.

WiLl he do his laundry? Maybe. But I suspect that he will bring it or send it home for me to do, mainly because there is always a line for using the laundry in the dorm.

What else? He will havE access to home food, he knows how to cook stuff, he can order delivery or he can go to the doninh hall. He is finicky at home and has been raised on amazing food. He will figure out how to get good that he likes one way or other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it really. Last year for drop off of our freshman four hours away, we got a hotel for the night before in town. We had an early check in time the next day (Saturday). We unloaded everything, did a bit of help for organizing and then said our goodbyes. The room was a 4/2 and it just got crowded with the other girls and their families. We didn’t stay to decorate and get everything just so. We didn’t take her to lunch or dinner. We just drove off back home as she started her next chapter.

I noticed in the FB page where parents are talking about making a weekend of it (understandable), but they are talking about how much time they plan to spend to get the rooms Insta ready, take their kids with them and/or stop by for breakfast and or lunch before driving off home. Maybe their kid needs a longer goodbye or they do, but that is all foreign to me!

If we tried decorating HER room, she would have a literal conniption fit.

I know everyone is different with a goodbye and I’m trying not to judge, but if you are one help me understand!

It’s odd that you’ve listed things that you claim not to understand. It’s a huge developmental transition— both for the student and for their family. Kids who’ve been planning how to decorate might enjoy the activity and the symbolism of having their parents help them ready their room in their first new home away from their parents. Most people celebrate major and minor transitions with meals. “Maybe their kid needs a longer goodbye or they do.” Since you said this yourself, it seems like the ideas aren’t foreign to you at all. I hope the way you chose to handle it is also what your kid wanted too. All you need to “understand “ is what you’ve already pointed out: Everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

Hang on, OP. I highly suggest that you avoid reading the parent Facebook page for your child’s school. Most threads are informative, but some parents bring helicoptering to a new level.

[Anonymous]

For my, DD knowing her dad was around for those 2 weeks helped give her the additional boost to settle sooner and not feel homesick. They had a few lunches/dinners whenever she wanted to.

DD enjoys spending time with us, let it be over facetime or in person. Remember every kid is different.

[Anonymous]

Because it wasn’t 4 hrs away.
Because it was fun.
Because it’s a new city and we wanted to check it out.
Because his roommate was coming the next day and his parents invited us to breakfast.
Because my kids are super independent so this 1 event does not define everything.

[Anonymous]

Lol goodbye? Dude relax it’s not goodbye it’s not even as long as some kids summer cramps before you have parents weekend/fall break/thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we don't want to do the move in and then drive 7 hours home at night. Since we need to eat, why not take the kid and the new roommate for their last non-cafeteria meal?

The school had tons of orientation type of events and mixers planned for the day and evening. I’m with you OP, our son said goodbye, allowed hugs and pics from both of us in the parking lot and didn’t look back as we drove off.

Boys are typically like this (minimalistic). Girls typically like different room set ups. Completely different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we don't want to do the move in and then drive 7 hours home at night. Since we need to eat, why not take the kid and the new roommate for their last non-cafeteria meal?

The school had tons of orientation type of events and mixers planned for the day and evening. I’m with you OP, our son said goodbye, allowed hugs and pics from both of us in the parking lot and didn’t look back as we drove off.

Boys are typically like this (minimalistic). Girls typically like different room set ups. Completely different.

Orientation and mixers? Lol! No.

[Anonymous]

. I'll worry about him losing his keys, losing his ID, forgetting sign-up deadlines for various things... I'm not entirely sure he's even ready for college, as a rising senior.

My son with ADHD did all of these things (and even forgot to go to an entire class for half of the first semester) and everything turned out fine. It was probably better that I didn't know about some of this stuff in real time.

We stayed at move in long enough to help DS get his bed lofted up high and to help him unpack some clothes because he had no space to store suitcases. We had to get out quickly so his roommate could get moved in -the room was too small for both guys and both sets of parents to be in there.

[Anonymous]

I was an international student and my parents put me on a plane to college with one suitcase.
I was amazed at the amount of stuff US kids seem to want and need.
Everything worked out fine. I took the local bus to Target a few times to get stuff.
My parents finally came and saw my college at graduation. It was a long trip and $$ for them.

I guess because of my experience, my kids are pretty independent.
My daughter started college 2 years ago. We were not even allowed in the dorms. Drove her there, dropped everything at the door and said good bye.