How do you handle being mediocre?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels a little like humble brag?

This is the problem, I (OP) think. To some, I am a success. In my circle, I am not. So in life, I am solidly in the middle, forgettable and average. I hate it.

Get over yourself. The whole, 'tell me how great I am thing' was played out by the time you turned 14. That whole schtick is kind of pathetic as an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

“I am mediocre. I earn almost twice the national average.”

We live in an expensive area.

[Anonymous]

You should just go ahead and publish the book yourself.

Doing this yourself is so easy nowadays. You are in full control and don't have to wait on a publisher, then be at their beck and call, or share your $$$ with them. Look up Joanna Penn & Mark Dawson podcasts. They helped me a lot.

Some people may look down on self-published authors, but believe me, it's way better than dealing with traditional publishers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should just go ahead and publish the book yourself.

Doing this yourself is so easy nowadays. You are in full control and don't have to wait on a publisher, then be at their beck and call, or share your $$$ with them. Look up Joanna Penn & Mark Dawson podcasts. They helped me a lot.

Some people may look down on self-published authors, but believe me, it's way better than dealing with traditional publishers.

It doesn’t sound like OP is motivated by an overwhelming love of writing and sharing those stories though, to be honest. Having a book that stacks up against The Friend in terms of (completely debatable and inside baseball) prestige-markers seems to be the true desire.

[Anonymous]

I'm here, aren't I?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the people in the world are pretty mediocre. Your problem is that you expected to be special. Most of the rest of us have no such illusion.

Except in Lake Wobegon.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have achieved immortality. 150 yrs from now someone in Kansas will download the electronic version of your book and read it, and likely enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a BFA and an MFA in writing, and know a lot of professional writers. The VAST majority of books undersell, like yours did. Even those with successful first novels are not happy, check their Amazon stats constantly, compare themselves to others, and feel like they won’t have a successful second book and so on and so forth. It is a tough career. Every writer I know, even my teachers who were basically all renowned and revered authors, is astonishingly insecure and usually depressed. Only a very, very few have anything like mainstream success, on a large scale.

I realized in my late twenties I did not have the stomach for the writers life, and that I really just wanted to connect with others on a more concrete level. I have a job in education now and it is the most amazing and fulfilling work for my particular personality. It was definitely hard to move on from my original path and I struggled for a few years as I grew into myself. But I think most of us go through this as adults. It’s part of growing up.

Now, I don’t make a lot of money but I have stability, passion, and meaningful human connection. I also have hobbies I love, kids I love, a happy marriage. My point is, I think I lucked out in life but plenty of people would consider me mediocre by their own definition.

I really recommend therapy for a shift in perspective. I a, sorry you are struggling, it can be so hard to get ourselves out of these spirals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

Another damn for this. Sounds like some les miserables shit

Classic Les Miserables, making $95k and spending quality time with your kids, amirite

Sounds like a sucker to me . I make 250k and spend all day with my kids

I make $350k and spend all day with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Being mediocre is great! I gave up a partner track consultant gig to be “in house” where I feel no pressure to try for a director promotion. I could run my mid-size department while working 40hrs a week until I retire in 15-18 years. My salary:effort/time commitment ratio is where I want it to be. I could earn a lot more, but I would work a lot more and be stressed.
I have never been super thin or beautiful. Pretty, well groomed, stylish, maybe. But as I age I am ok with it. I see women whose sense of self is very tied up in the fact that they are thin or beautiful and when they lose it with age, it’s hard for them emotionally.
We have a modest house in a neighborhood full of similar modest houses. Our kids go to public school. I feel no pressure to keep up with anyone.
Mediocre flies under the radar. I am doing continent with my mediocre, low drama, low stress life.

[Anonymous]

I can't even finish reading a book and my self esteem is not that low.
Just focus on what you like to accomplish and do that. Do it for yourself, not for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a BFA and an MFA in writing, and know a lot of professional writers. The VAST majority of books undersell, like yours did. Even those with successful first novels are not happy, check their Amazon stats constantly, compare themselves to others, and feel like they won’t have a successful second book and so on and so forth. It is a tough career. Every writer I know, even my teachers who were basically all renowned and revered authors, is astonishingly insecure and usually depressed. Only a very, very few have anything like mainstream success, on a large scale.

I realized in my late twenties I did not have the stomach for the writers life, and that I really just wanted to connect with others on a more concrete level. I have a job in education now and it is the most amazing and fulfilling work for my particular personality. It was definitely hard to move on from my original path and I struggled for a few years as I grew into myself. But I think most of us go through this as adults. It’s part of growing up.

Now, I don’t make a lot of money but I have stability, passion, and meaningful human connection. I also have hobbies I love, kids I love, a happy marriage. My point is, I think I lucked out in life but plenty of people would consider me mediocre by their own definition.

I really recommend therapy for a shift in perspective. I a, sorry you are struggling, it can be so hard to get ourselves out of these spirals.

I was actually wondering if therapy could help with this. It's just so hard to be surrounded by overachievers, especially my own husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean your relative “pinned on a star?”

Made rank of general/admiral in military.

I don’t find this impressive at all.

Your anti-military sentiment doesn't lessen the accomplishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

Another damn for this. Sounds like some les miserables shit

Classic Les Miserables, making $95k and spending quality time with your kids, amirite

Sounds like a sucker to me . I make 250k and spend all day with my kids

I make $350k and spend all day with my kids.

Assuming the posters earning 250k and 350k and spending all day w their kids are legit -- What do you do??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a BFA and an MFA in writing, and know a lot of professional writers. The VAST majority of books undersell, like yours did. Even those with successful first novels are not happy, check their Amazon stats constantly, compare themselves to others, and feel like they won’t have a successful second book and so on and so forth. It is a tough career. Every writer I know, even my teachers who were basically all renowned and revered authors, is astonishingly insecure and usually depressed. Only a very, very few have anything like mainstream success, on a large scale.

I realized in my late twenties I did not have the stomach for the writers life, and that I really just wanted to connect with others on a more concrete level. I have a job in education now and it is the most amazing and fulfilling work for my particular personality. It was definitely hard to move on from my original path and I struggled for a few years as I grew into myself. But I think most of us go through this as adults. It’s part of growing up.

Now, I don’t make a lot of money but I have stability, passion, and meaningful human connection. I also have hobbies I love, kids I love, a happy marriage. My point is, I think I lucked out in life but plenty of people would consider me mediocre by their own definition.

I really recommend therapy for a shift in perspective. I a, sorry you are struggling, it can be so hard to get ourselves out of these spirals.

I was actually wondering if therapy could help with this. It's just so hard to be surrounded by overachievers, especially my own husband.

Are you willing to debase yourself by talking to a commoner therapist?