How do you handle being mediocre?

[Anonymous]

So you’re not special. Whoopdie-doo. You are probably unhappy in many areas of your life and are using your failure as an author to convince yourself you’ve failed with everything. Get a hobby that doesn’t involve navel-gazing.

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids?

I’m a sahm. I plan to go back to work next year and starting over. I don’t feel mediocre. I have 3 amazing kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher and make $15k less than you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean your relative “pinned on a star?”

Made rank of general/admiral in military.

I don’t find this impressive at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the people in the world are pretty mediocre. Your problem is that you expected to be special. Most of the rest of us have no such illusion.

This. I think realizing and then being ok with this is what makes one an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re not a failure. You have low self esteem. There is a difference. Trust me. I know of what I speak.

I kid of agree with this. OP did you grow up surrounded by achievers, or have certain aspirations that you haven’t achieved? It doesn’t sound like writing was a lifelong passion but something that you fell into- that can’t be a failure! That’s awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean your relative “pinned on a star?”

Made rank of general/admiral in military.

I don’t find this impressive at all.

Yawn.

[Anonymous]

I think you’re disappointed and you have a touch of depression. Get thee to a therapist and talk for a bit. And then pick yourself up by your bootstraps and pick something new to try, whether that’s a new book or an improvement of your job situation or getting your worth from parenting or volunteering or whatever you decide.

[Anonymous]

You are special
Stop comparing
If you woke up today
You are special
If you put both feet forward
You are survival
If you can encourage someone
Share a smile
A helping hand
And encouraging word
You are special
Being a best selling author
A celebrity
A social media darling
Popular
does not make you special
It just makes you popular
You are the only you there is
Focus on being that, growing in that
Explore all your dreams
Do the things you want to do
Try the things of which you are afraid
You woke up today
You are special

[Anonymous]

You need to persist OP. A friend of mine in London had a terrific agent who kept turning her nose up at my friend's books. I suggested she change agent and then she got a 3 book deal with her new one.

I am not saying it's your agent's fault, but making these changes can find you new opportunities. Contact all the people who were enthusiastic about your first book. Hell, write another one.

[Anonymous]

The only thing you're failing at is persistence. Other than that, you're perfectly fine. If you want to throw in the towel, that's fine too but be at peace with it.

Either persist and show resilience or be at peace with living your regular life (which is a perfectly fine life, btw).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's this concept in psychology, I'm sleepy so I forget the details, but basically...

When you succeed, you write it off as a one-off, undeserved, a lucky chance, not going to happen again.

When you fail, you assume it's your fault, representative of who you are, and will always keep happening.

I see you employing this thinking - obviously it is flawed and makes no sense.

Your book didn't do as well as you hoped. You can try again, right? With another book, another agent, or another type of project entirely. This one specific "failure" does not say anything about you as a person.

By the way, having spoken to a couple of authors in similar situations, what I understand is that authors are supposed to heavily promote their own books now. Publishers aren't going to do it for you. The books that do well have a built-in audience (usually from your blog, newsletter, or social media). Otherwise, how would people know about them to buy them? So, maybe work on building up an audience before trying again.

Also, the fact that you finished and for-real published a book is HUGE. I wrote a book that I self-published on Amazon and sold 58 copies (and a few hundred pirated ones), and I was pretty proud of myself. Because it still puts me ahead of the vast majority of people who say they want to write a book and never do.

I went to a top university so some of my classmates are "successful", but I feel like they all made tradeoffs. With personal life, family, health, etc. No one gets to have it all. I was just reading today the Google founder's wife cheated on him with Elon Musk. Success and billions can't buy happiness.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing you're failing at is persistence. Other than that, you're perfectly fine. If you want to throw in the towel, that's fine too but be at peace with it.

Either persist and show resilience or be at peace with living your regular life (which is a perfectly fine life, btw).

OP here. This is what I can't figure out how to do. I'd love to be successful in some aspect, but I just keep failing. And I get it - not everyone can be successful. I just want to learn to be ok with that.

[Anonymous]

You realize that most people are just mediocre too.

[Anonymous]

You are thinking too much in terms of accomplishments. Think instead of the connections you have in your life and how you are meaningful to these people. Your immediate family need you in your lives. Your other relatives and friends love you. You do things throughout the day, that, however small or insignificant to you, does mean something to other people in the long run.

You published a book and consider it a failure. How many thousands of people think about writing a book, but never get it done? You actually gave it a try and got your work published. Perhaps it wasn't a best seller, but people read it, and it might have been helpful, meaningful, or enjoyable to some of those readers. If it wasn't an ideal experience, what can you learn from that? What would you do differently? Can you help other people who are in the process of writing a book?

Once you step away from "things" and focus on ideas and relationships with people, your life will be richer. And definitely not mediocre.