How do you handle being mediocre?

[Anonymous]

I didn't want financial success. I just wanted to find my "niche" (whatever you want to call it) & make a stable living. I found this by publishing books. I thought I would give my 2 cents b/c you mentioned you are an author as well.

You're right, you're just after financial success, in the beginning, it's hard to keep going if it doesn't involve some form of personal fulfillment.

I'm signing off, but please, just go for it. Whatever "it" is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

Another damn for this. Sounds like some les miserables shit

[Anonymous]

OP i know it is hard to swallow but deep down you know that bestseller status is unfortunately almost barely correlated with the quality of the book. The bestseller list is full of … mediocre books. It’s also full of people who were able to game the system with mass orders - a megachurch that bought thousands of its pastor’s book in presale to ensure it debuted as a bestseller comes to mind. Great books sell a handful of copies all the time.
- Publishing industry person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean your relative “pinned on a star?”

Made rank of general/admiral in military.

I don’t find this impressive at all.

Thanks for the tremendous laugh (and eye roll).

[Anonymous]

Feels a little like humble brag?

[Anonymous]

Before making judgmental statements to the OP:

- are you healthy?
- are you in an abusive or controlling relationship?
- are you emotionally and mentally free to make your own life decisions?

If yes to the above, unless I’m missing something… find the gratitude inside you and make yourself useful to the planet.
You are either entitled, depressed or just in a rut with a lack of creativity. In fairness, if you don’t know how to move forward from here you could benefit from a work / life coach and some therapy.

And PS - life isn’t over for you.
Some people are dying in their 40’s. Is that what you want?
If not, stop whining and then that energy in something productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, a NYT best-selling friend introduced me to her agent, who actually liked what he saw, signed me, and sold my book to a well-known publisher. It was a flop, sold 1500 copies, they did not take my second book, and my agent and I are likely to part ways soon. I feel like such a failure. No, scratch that. I am a failure.

State school for undergrad. Online masters degree (though from a not-for-profit university, not a diploma mill). Have a job making $80k as a corporate drone. Trailing spouse, so no real career prospects, and in my late 40’s, my time is over. Even outside of DC (I moved away a few years ago), I am the failure of my friend circle and family.

I know some are ok with this, but I’m not, and now it’s basically too late to make anything of myself. A close family member recently pinned on a star, and it’s made all this surface. How do you accept that you’re not going to be successful or respected? Especially when on paper, you look "decent"?

Mediocre is the middle- you are not bad you are not great, just good. The good people are the stabilizers. While we arent creating new life-saving medicines, we also arent committing crimes. I think loving others, taking care of others, finding something you love to do, spreading kindness, enjoying simple things, taking care of animals, etc are seen as simple things that are quite hard to do correctly. To leave this earth without harm is (to me) almost as good as leaving it with something you created. Most people dont get a legacy like a book or a painting or a Presidential library. The former two usually only have a legacy once they are dead. I truly think most people dont know their legacy until they are gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

Another damn for this. Sounds like some les miserables shit

Classic Les Miserables, making $95k and spending quality time with your kids, amirite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

Another damn for this. Sounds like some les miserables shit

Classic Les Miserables, making $95k and spending quality time with your kids, amirite

Sounds like a sucker to me . I make 250k and spend all day with my kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

Another damn for this. Sounds like some les miserables shit

Classic Les Miserables, making $95k and spending quality time with your kids, amirite

Sounds like a sucker to me . I make 250k and spend all day with my kids

👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would see a therapist. I’ve accomplished much less and I would never talk about myself like that.

+1 And I would never consider myself a failure. I measure “success” in different ways. I have friends and family who I love and who love me back, and my work helps others through difficult moments, despite being lower pay; it’s meaningful to me. I have cancer and my life means a f-ing lot to my family. I have meaningful relationships and I try to be a good friend. And that’s enough for me. It’s such a cliche but gratitude is everything.

I have tried gratitude! But I've had too many people question why I act like things are wonderful when I am...you know, mediocre.

Then you need new people in your life! They don’t want the best for you, obviously. You are describing toxicity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well OP I think there is a clear silver lining here, which is that people don’t get complete fulfillment from career accomplishments. It’s likely that if your book had been more of a success, you’d feel the same way. If you had one best seller and then a few that did okay, you’d feel the same way. If you were elected to Congress but never made it to the Senate, you’d feel the same way. Etc etc etc.

There’s always someone to look at who is more “accomplished.” So if you’re inclined to do that, you’d probably be doing it under almost any circumstances.

Exactly. Good explanation. There's no magic top level to reach. But we can define relationships and kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

Another damn for this. Sounds like some les miserables shit

Classic Les Miserables, making $95k and spending quality time with your kids, amirite

Sounds like a sucker to me . I make 250k and spend all day with my kids

Congrats?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

Another damn for this. Sounds like some les miserables shit

Classic Les Miserables, making $95k and spending quality time with your kids, amirite

Sounds like a sucker to me . I make 250k and spend all day with my kids

Dh makes $2-3m and i spend all day with my kids.

[Anonymous]

I am very smart and capable but was weirdly unsuccessful in my career (a series of unfortunate events basically, maybe some anxiety, and circumstances beyond my control).
I find solace in the fact that I am so smart, well read, analytical, and organized. Besides, I am much more successful than my mentally ill mother who ended up almost destitute (not for the lack of help available; she resisted help).
I see so many people with great jobs, nice spouses, sweet kids who are secretly or even openly miserable. I, on the other hand, enjoy life - I have enough and I am okay with who I am.