How do you handle being mediocre?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the people in the world are pretty mediocre. Your problem is that you expected to be special. Most of the rest of us have no such illusion.

Actually, others expected it of me.

Then that is the problem. And when would it ever be enough? To what end, because frankly, there's no limit to fame. But it's entirely an illusion.

[Anonymous]

At 65 and retired now, I can honestly say that all my hard eork, multiple degrees, moving up the ladder, a fair amount of recognition, and success was 100% meaningless compared to my friends and family. 100%. I wish I'd spent less time doing all that.

10 years ago we cleaned out my parent's condo. In a box, and on the wall were numerous degrees, plaques, awards, etc. Some were moldy, some were framed, some were packed up loosely. It all went in the trash. There was nothing about their accomplishments at their funeral, to any specified degree or discuss, only general mention about their job/career.

How insignificant the career is compared to the person you are.

Later, my husband's parents died. FIL also had an illustrious career, law degree, and accolades. Before he died, he threw all these papers representations out himself.

Because it isn't really about the person. It really isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

I AM present for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

I agree with Mediocre here. Only the smart people realize this. It's the dumb ones who seek recognition and fame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 65 and retired now, I can honestly say that all my hard eork, multiple degrees, moving up the ladder, a fair amount of recognition, and success was 100% meaningless compared to my friends and family. 100%. I wish I'd spent less time doing all that.

10 years ago we cleaned out my parent's condo. In a box, and on the wall were numerous degrees, plaques, awards, etc. Some were moldy, some were framed, some were packed up loosely. It all went in the trash. There was nothing about their accomplishments at their funeral, to any specified degree or discuss, only general mention about their job/career.

How insignificant the career is compared to the person you are.

Later, my husband's parents died. FIL also had an illustrious career, law degree, and accolades. Before he died, he threw all these papers representations out himself.

Because it isn't really about the person. It really isn't.

I don't get to maintain relationships, though. Not unless DH retires, which doesn't appear to be on the horizon.

[Anonymous]

Well OP I think there is a clear silver lining here, which is that people don’t get complete fulfillment from career accomplishments. It’s likely that if your book had been more of a success, you’d feel the same way. If you had one best seller and then a few that did okay, you’d feel the same way. If you were elected to Congress but never made it to the Senate, you’d feel the same way. Etc etc etc.

There’s always someone to look at who is more “accomplished.” So if you’re inclined to do that, you’d probably be doing it under almost any circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 65 and retired now, I can honestly say that all my hard eork, multiple degrees, moving up the ladder, a fair amount of recognition, and success was 100% meaningless compared to my friends and family. 100%. I wish I'd spent less time doing all that.

10 years ago we cleaned out my parent's condo. In a box, and on the wall were numerous degrees, plaques, awards, etc. Some were moldy, some were framed, some were packed up loosely. It all went in the trash. There was nothing about their accomplishments at their funeral, to any specified degree or discuss, only general mention about their job/career.

How insignificant the career is compared to the person you are.

Later, my husband's parents died. FIL also had an illustrious career, law degree, and accolades. Before he died, he threw all these papers representations out himself.

Because it isn't really about the person. It really isn't.

I am 60 and feel exactly the same way. I couldn't have said it better.

[Anonymous]

100 years from now, 99.99999% of us will be forgotten. Enjoy the life you have, no matter how mediocre it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100 years from now, 99.99999% of us will be forgotten. Enjoy the life you have, no matter how mediocre it is.

Truth

[Anonymous]

What the F ever. You do not have to accept mediocrity! This will always nag at you no matter what, unless you take control of it.

I was in almost the exact same boat you were 10 years ago. Trailing spouse, bachelor's and master's degree, "acceptable" career. Never really truly excelled at anything, just above average, but yearning for more career-wise.

So, I prayed and read, do not laugh, Steering by Starlight by Martha Beck & decided to start my own business. It was very hard at first, failed a lot (but tried to learn from it). Eventually, like 2-3 years later, I was making low 6 figures & had a flexible schedule. Now, approx 300K & very flexible schedule.

My humble advice to you, please take time to figure out what you want (the Martha Beck book will help you with this; yes, she has had her own personal issues, but this book has good advice). Passive income streams are your friends. Envision accomplishing your goals. Be willing to do the work to get there. Be ready to fail & learn.

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

[Anonymous]

OP, what would you tell a dear friend who had your life/accomplishments but was feeling disappointed? Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your friend. You deserve that kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

There's a philosophy called antinatalism that I think would speak to OP. What you've said PP is so true. It's one of the reasons I roll my eyes when so-and-so in the office is having a baby and I think of that poor child's future as a wage slave like the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the F ever. You do not have to accept mediocrity! This will always nag at you no matter what, unless you take control of it.

I was in almost the exact same boat you were 10 years ago. Trailing spouse, bachelor's and master's degree, "acceptable" career. Never really truly excelled at anything, just above average, but yearning for more career-wise.

So, I prayed and read, do not laugh, Steering by Starlight by Martha Beck & decided to start my own business. It was very hard at first, failed a lot (but tried to learn from it). Eventually, like 2-3 years later, I was making low 6 figures & had a flexible schedule. Now, approx 300K & very flexible schedule.

My humble advice to you, please take time to figure out what you want (the Martha Beck book will help you with this; yes, she has had her own personal issues, but this book has good advice). Passive income streams are your friends. Envision accomplishing your goals. Be willing to do the work to get there. Be ready to fail & learn.

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

Financial success is not what I'm looking for. What a weird assumption.

- OP