How do you handle being mediocre?

[Anonymous]

OP, you are much too hard on yourself.

It is indeed rare that writers have overnight success.
I think it’s commendable that you even got as far as you did by getting something published‼️

I also think that you are letting the success of others impact your own self-esteem.
A lot of people compare how their lives turned out to others which if you do this - then it is only a matter of time before you will feel like a failure.
Because comparison in life definitely robs one of joy > bar none.

Also, could you also be suffering from depression?
I only bring this up because you sound like you are in a very bad place emotionally & feel that depression could be a factor for that.

I think it would be a good idea (regardless of depression) to seek out a counselor who you can talk to about these negative feelings.
Because if you continue to believe that you are a failure - then your quality of life will always be very poor.

Wish you the best in your future endeavors OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP i know it is hard to swallow but deep down you know that bestseller status is unfortunately almost barely correlated with the quality of the book. The bestseller list is full of … mediocre books. It’s also full of people who were able to game the system with mass orders - a megachurch that bought thousands of its pastor’s book in presale to ensure it debuted as a bestseller comes to mind. Great books sell a handful of copies all the time.
- Publishing industry person.

Even John Grisham used to sell books 📖 from the back of his car when he first started.

Hard to believe this looking back - but being a writer is just as or even more brutal than being a Hollywood celebrity!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

Another damn for this. Sounds like some les miserables shit

Classic Les Miserables, making $95k and spending quality time with your kids, amirite

Sounds like a sucker to me . I make 250k and spend all day with my kids

Dh makes $2-3m and i spend all day with my kids.

And where is he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

“I am mediocre. I earn almost twice the national average.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP i know it is hard to swallow but deep down you know that bestseller status is unfortunately almost barely correlated with the quality of the book. The bestseller list is full of … mediocre books. It’s also full of people who were able to game the system with mass orders - a megachurch that bought thousands of its pastor’s book in presale to ensure it debuted as a bestseller comes to mind. Great books sell a handful of copies all the time.
- Publishing industry person.

+1… or the author is highly connected in the media world and can get a lot of major National and international placements in the press. You also have to think about how getting an agent and getting a book deal from a major publisher is a major accomplishment in itself - almost akin to winning the lottery. Most people can’t even get an agent let alone a book deal. Also, the average book sells about 3000 copies in a lifetime. Some very successful authors now are self published because they didn’t worry about what the publishing industry said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feels a little like humble brag?

This is the problem, I (OP) think. To some, I am a success. In my circle, I am not. So in life, I am solidly in the middle, forgettable and average. I hate it.

[Anonymous]

OP, you seem determined to be miserable. I was very empathetic to your problem at first, but reading your responses in the thread, you're discounting the valid points everyone's making and just arguing with posters about why they're wrong.

Do you want to actually make changes in your life, or to prove to everyone why you can't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you seem determined to be miserable. I was very empathetic to your problem at first, but reading your responses in the thread, you're discounting the valid points everyone's making and just arguing with posters about why they're wrong.

Do you want to actually make changes in your life, or to prove to everyone why you can't?

My post isn't about how to become successful. It's about about to be satisfied being mediocre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being mediocre. I make 95k, work in a support role where there is very little stress and I have great work life balance. I’ll be mediocre all day long if it means I can be present for my kid.

Damn

Right? I also make $95k, I do maybe 30 minutes of actual work a day but still vastly exceed expectations. Sure, I'll never change the world but so what? We're all gonna die someday anyway and none of that will matter at all when you croak. Your eternal nonexistence will be experienced (or really not experienced) the exact same way by Gandhi, Hitler, and Jim from accounting who surfs DCUM all day. The only thing that matters is enjoying yourself as much as you can in the time you've got left.

Another damn for this. Sounds like some les miserables shit

Classic Les Miserables, making $95k and spending quality time with your kids, amirite

Sounds like a sucker to me . I make 250k and spend all day with my kids

This is why DCUM is the absolute worst. You're not helping OP and you're being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

You’re dissatisfied with your self-described mediocrity. You can either embrace it and find things you love about it, or try to change it and become not-mediocre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels a little like humble brag?

This is the problem, I (OP) think. To some, I am a success. In my circle, I am not. So in life, I am solidly in the middle, forgettable and average. I hate it.

Girl you need to find new friends immediately!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re dissatisfied with your self-described mediocrity. You can either embrace it and find things you love about it, or try to change it and become not-mediocre.

Yes, I'm dissatisfied. I would like to learn how to be satisfied.

[Anonymous]

Gratitude!! Who gives a f*^k if your a-hole friends say you’re too mediocre to be grateful. I mean what the ever-loving F, does their opinion really matter? If you cannot be grateful for what you have and appreciate every day that you wake up in good health then you are in a prison of your own creation.

[Anonymous]

OP most people are average to above average. You wrote a book so you aren't even average! I rocked HS, college, and grad school and then went back to school to be "just"a nurse. I don't care if people think I am a loser compared to the Big Law/Corporate/Tech people in the area who are making obscene amounts of money. I have health, family, my needs met, and so on.
I know DCUM hates to hear this but a) success is a combination of hard work AND luck, b) success doesn't always mean wealth---especially if you were to define success as how much one contributes to society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re dissatisfied with your self-described mediocrity. You can either embrace it and find things you love about it, or try to change it and become not-mediocre.

Yes, I'm dissatisfied. I would like to learn how to be satisfied.

To be satisfied with who you are, you let go of your attachment to the things that you feel make you mediocre. You recognize that you are judging people’s worth by their accomplishments, when that is not the only measure of a life well-lived. You find worth in who you are as a being and not what you do. In short, to be satisfied with mediocrity, you remove the judgement of mediocre vs not mediocre and recognize that’s not a helpful or meaningful measure of who you are.