22 year old wants to have baby

[Anonymous]

My rule - if she wants a baby with this man, he needs to have a full-time job and they need to get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My rule - if she wants a baby with this man, he needs to have a full-time job and they need to get married.

Why do they've to follow your rules? She can have a full time job and he can be the stay at home parent until kid goes to daycare or they can divide vacation and caregiving time. Its 2022. Married people may not share responsibility and may divorce in couple of months. What's the point?

[Anonymous]

She sounds horribly immature. Were you a helicopter parent, OP? Did you pay for her college?

Sit down with her and teach her how to budget on her salary.

Cut the cord. Cut the ATM machine (that would be you).

[Anonymous]

OP,

Don't put the father's name on the birth certificate and she will immediately get assistance from "family services." If there is a father then she first has to fight for the financial support.

So many parents in the MCPS school I teach in tell me this. It is a low--income majority-minority school.

Heck, my neighbor's granddaughter did this. Ching ching!

A former boyfriend of mine told me his sister did it too.

[Anonymous]

Why not wait, save, mature and marry first so instead of being burden on your own parents or finding handout loopholes in system, she can give her children a decent and stable life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait, save, mature and marry first so instead of being burden on your own parents or finding handout loopholes in system, she can give her children a decent and stable life.

Why, indeed? Typically it’s poor families and generational- if that’s all you witness, motherhood looks like the next step in becoming an adult. If your job is low-paying/dead end and no one around you can model anything differently career-wise, young women try to grab a little joy where they can. Home ownership or vacations don’t even seem in the realm of possibility. They will get help from the government or extended family, who likely did the same. They will have a big party baby shower. The boyfriend wanting to wait is a good sign, but if not him, then it will be someone else.

[Anonymous]

I guess under 25 is fine to have a baby if both parents have undergrad degrees and working or getting professional degrees and both set of grandparents can support physically and financially.

However, its not fine if you are burdening grad parents or taxpayers because you are obsessed with having a babies.

[Anonymous]

Well, that doesn’t seem like a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My rule - if she wants a baby with this man, he needs to have a full-time job and they need to get married.

Why do they've to follow your rules? She can have a full time job and he can be the stay at home parent until kid goes to daycare or they can divide vacation and caregiving time. Its 2022. Married people may not share responsibility and may divorce in couple of months. What's the point?

There are rules because otherwise this young woman would move home with mom and dad and try to make them help her take care of the baby. That's how it usually works.

[Anonymous]

Find some stats about young parents as well as moms who have babies without husbands. At a minimum, I might have her talk to a lawyer.

I think she might be more receptive to data than a parent’s worries (though as a mom, I would be panicking if I were in your shoes).

[Anonymous]

I remember wanting to have a baby when I was around that age. I got a dog instead shortly after graduation and then dumped it on my parents when I realized the level of commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Don't put the father's name on the birth certificate and she will immediately get assistance from "family services." If there is a father then she first has to fight for the financial support.

So many parents in the MCPS school I teach in tell me this. It is a low--income majority-minority school.

Heck, my neighbor's granddaughter did this. Ching ching!

A former boyfriend of mine told me his sister did it too.

Teach your kid (who teaches children) to lie on government forms and fraudulently use taxpayer’s dollars to support her family. Great little tip.

Do you also lie on your taxes?

It amazes me that people like you (and Trump) don’t even have enough morals to be ashamed of moves like this.

[Anonymous]

Having a kid at 22 would be great. She can also have an empty nest when she’s young enough to really enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find some stats about young parents as well as moms who have babies without husbands. At a minimum, I might have her talk to a lawyer.

I think she might be more receptive to data than a parent’s worries (though as a mom, I would be panicking if I were in your shoes).

Exactly. Babies to younger mothers have fewer complications.

[Anonymous]

Very immoral to purposely bring a baby into the world when you can't support/financially raise it yourself.