22 year old wants to have baby
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Anonymous
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22 year old graduated back in May, and now she wants to have a baby with her boyfriend. She was hired as a full time pre-school teacher but I think she should wait a few years before having a baby. How can I tell her to wait? I am worried that the Principal and parents will not be very happy with her if she on leave the first year she starts working.
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Anonymous
| You can advise her to wait for a few years, but ultimately I don't think parents will raise an eyebrow - this is a very child-centered job, after all. Maybe the director won't be pleased, though. I had my first at 25, and I don't regret it. |
Anonymous
| Principals/parents not being happy is the least of concerns for having a baby at 22 with a boyfriend and a no that is not likely to be able to support her and child should the relationship not last. Sure, it could work out just fine, but the odds are not with this relationship lasting. That said, it’s not your life, OP. It’s up to her. If she asks your opinion, you can give it, but otherwise there is no point. She is grown and will do what she wants, so just support her the best you can. |
Anonymous
| You need to cut the cord. She will make her own decisions and mistakes. Yes it sounds like a horrible idea, but it’s not your life. |
Anonymous
| Where is she living? If with you, then you get an opinion unless you plan to care for this baby. If not with you, then I would just express concern that she should have some financial and relationship stability first before having a child. Even if it’s just delaying by one year. Help her understand the big picture of expenses - diapers, formula, cost of giving birth, who will care for the baby when she returns to work? |
Anonymous
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When you say she got a job as a preschool teacher, do you mean in a big school system or at a small preschool?
Ultimately, it’s her decision but try asking her about benefits and if she knows how expensive childcare is. |
Anonymous
I wonder if she’s on OP’s insurance still since she’s under 26. But the cost of prenatal care and birth was shocking to me. I was 28 and had decent insurance, but it still cost me over $7k out of pocket. |
Anonymous
| Good Lord. At the very least, she should work long enough to save up a nest egg before starting a family. Will she even get maternity leave if she’s worked there for less than a year? Has she thought about how she’ll deal with it if she ends up with multiples or a special needs child? Parenting isn’t all heart bursting joy; there are plenty of days that are a long, hard slog. It makes me sad to think about someone becoming a parent way before most of their friends, before enjoying things like child free travel, and then having their friends unable to do fun things later, when the friends start having kids. |
Anonymous
| Is approach it from an economic standpoint. It really doesn’t sound like she can afford it. Have you priced diapers and formula lately? Might be time for a baby economics class. |
Anonymous
That would be the least of my worries about this situation. |
Anonymous
| I think you should explain the expenses involved and also make sure she understands you are not going to be infancially supporting her or the baby. No moving back in, no grandma serving as daycare etc. |
Anonymous
| Wow what a horrible idea. Too bad you have to let her make her own choices and the more you push her one way the further she will go the other. |
Anonymous
I feel pity. She doesn't know what she is getting into but she is an adult so her decision. |
Anonymous
Well, cutting the cord doesn't help when they are miserable with consequences and your heart cant leave them on their own. |
Anonymous
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You're worried about what the principal and parents would think of her? *That's* why you want her to wait?
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