Honest question: what is the parent/caregiver’s rationale in letting their child…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

I am so sick of hearing all these excuses for bad parenting and spoiled brats. Libraries are not playgrounds so why are you allowing your child free range in a library setting. The same goes for restaurants.

Well, as I said, he needed occasional reminders about socially appropriate behavior because he was three years old and autistic. What’s your excuse?

Then keep your child with you. If he can’t remember to sit then keep him sitting with you until he can. Now what’s your excuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:… stand right in front of the book being read at library storytime thus blocking the view of the book from all the other kids? I mean, it’s obvious that the other kids can’t see the book. I get that it’s not a huge issue in light of our troubled world but I’m genuinely curious in knowing what that parent watching is thinking.

Same with the parent who doesn’t stop their child from taking the glasses off the music teacher during the class.

Yes, the librarian and music teacher correct the child but why should they have to when they parent is right there watching?

The librarian should have asked the parent thave child sit with them and told them the other children also wanted to see her while she read. If the kid is SN still no excuse. For the music teacher, same thing.

Library should also have a sign stating that all children are to sit with parent/caregiver during story and music time. No exceptions.
.

I agree. Whatever the rules are, the librarian should clearly state them at the beginning of story time so that all of the kids know what to do and the rules are easily enforced.

The librarians do state the rules clearly to both kids and parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

I am so sick of hearing all these excuses for bad parenting and spoiled brats. Libraries are not playgrounds so why are you allowing your child free range in a library setting. The same goes for restaurants.

Well, as I said, he needed occasional reminders about socially appropriate behavior because he was three years old and autistic. What’s your excuse?

Then keep your child with you. If he can’t remember to sit then keep him sitting with you until he can. Now what’s your excuse?

Well, he is a freshman in high school now, loves to read, and spends a lot of time volunteering with reading to little kids at his school and the DV shelter while their mothers go to classes. He still hasn’t figured out all of the social rules, but he would never refer to any children as feral, spoiled brats.
I would honestly like to know your rationale in doing this. Why do you think it’s okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:… stand right in front of the book being read at library storytime thus blocking the view of the book from all the other kids? I mean, it’s obvious that the other kids can’t see the book. I get that it’s not a huge issue in light of our troubled world but I’m genuinely curious in knowing what that parent watching is thinking.

Same with the parent who doesn’t stop their child from taking the glasses off the music teacher during the class.

Yes, the librarian and music teacher correct the child but why should they have to when they parent is right there watching?

The librarian should have asked the parent thave child sit with them and told them the other children also wanted to see her while she read. If the kid is SN still no excuse. For the music teacher, same thing.

Library should also have a sign stating that all children are to sit with parent/caregiver during story and music time. No exceptions.
.

I agree. Whatever the rules are, the librarian should clearly state them at the beginning of story time so that all of the kids know what to do and the rules are easily enforced.

The librarians do state the rules clearly to both kids and parents.

I don’t know then. Our librarian does this, and this stuff isn’t an issue. Not all of the parents even stay in the room the whole time, and it’s not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just teach your kid to raise his hand and say excuse me I can’t see.

Say it to whom? My 3.5 yr old does raise his hand and tells the kid and the librarian he can’t see the book. The librarian asks the child to sit. The child doesn’t. What’s the librarian supposed to do - physically bend the kid in half and make him sit down?

Stop expecting other people to do your job.

No, that's where the librarian should act like the authority figure to the adult with the child, ask them to take care of their child or leave until next time.

And what are you doing while your child is standing up, walking up to the book, and then standing there blocking the rest of the kids view? Shouldn’t you be teaching your child to be fair and considerate?

I'm 10.15... no child with me ever blocked the book. As I said, if the librarian corrects the child, child refuses or ignores, then the librarian should address the adult (parent or nanny) with the child.

That’s not the librarian’s job. Please don’t put them in that position.

Seriously. Librarians don't get paid enough to deal with this shit.

+2. And I want my kids to see librarians as accessible and open people who love to share books - not an authority figure.

The librarian is an authority figure. Why not teach your feral brat manners and how to behave in all settings and don't say he/ she is too young to need manners. Don't let them grow up to be you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:… stand right in front of the book being read at library storytime thus blocking the view of the book from all the other kids? I mean, it’s obvious that the other kids can’t see the book. I get that it’s not a huge issue in light of our troubled world but I’m genuinely curious in knowing what that parent watching is thinking.

Same with the parent who doesn’t stop their child from taking the glasses off the music teacher during the class.

Yes, the librarian and music teacher correct the child but why should they have to when they parent is right there watching?

Well, I'm in the camp of allowing the authority figure at the moment (librarian and music teacher, in those scenarios) to correct the child once, then if the child ignores or refuses, I step in. They need to understand that other adults have the right to correct them, and if I jump in immediately, that undercuts their authority. However, if the teacher or other adult didn't say anything, I would act. No, I don't think that the behavior should continue, even if it's age-appropriate.

Correct once and you do nothing, then you are asked to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

I am so sick of hearing all these excuses for bad parenting and spoiled brats. Libraries are not playgrounds so why are you allowing your child free range in a library setting. The same goes for restaurants.

Well, as I said, he needed occasional reminders about socially appropriate behavior because he was three years old and autistic. What’s your excuse?

I do need one as I taught my children how to behave in public. Maybe you should have kept him at home unt he knew how to behave in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

I am so sick of hearing all these excuses for bad parenting and spoiled brats. Libraries are not playgrounds so why are you allowing your child free range in a library setting. The same goes for restaurants.

Well, as I said, he needed occasional reminders about socially appropriate behavior because he was three years old and autistic. What’s your excuse?

I do need one as I taught my children how to behave in public. Maybe you should have kept him at home unt he knew how to behave in public.

I do not need^°

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

I am so sick of hearing all these excuses for bad parenting and spoiled brats. Libraries are not playgrounds so why are you allowing your child free range in a library setting. The same goes for restaurants.

Well, as I said, he needed occasional reminders about socially appropriate behavior because he was three years old and autistic. What’s your excuse?

Then keep your child with you. If he can’t remember to sit then keep him sitting with you until he can. Now what’s your excuse?

Well, he is a freshman in high school now, loves to read, and spends a lot of time volunteering with reading to little kids at his school and the DV shelter while their mothers go to classes. He still hasn’t figured out all of the social rules, but he would never refer to any children as feral, spoiled brats.
I would honestly like to know your rationale in doing this. Why do you think it’s okay?

In doing what, PP? You were wrong in how you handled the situation with your son. And as we do continually on this forum, we post for others in the situation or soon to be in the situation. I agree that you should have held your son next to you.

NP here. I didn’t call your child feral but we all know kids who are “brats”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:… stand right in front of the book being read at library storytime thus blocking the view of the book from all the other kids? I mean, it’s obvious that the other kids can’t see the book. I get that it’s not a huge issue in light of our troubled world but I’m genuinely curious in knowing what that parent watching is thinking.

Same with the parent who doesn’t stop their child from taking the glasses off the music teacher during the class.

Yes, the librarian and music teacher correct the child but why should they have to when they parent is right there watching?

Well, I'm in the camp of allowing the authority figure at the moment (librarian and music teacher, in those scenarios) to correct the child once, then if the child ignores or refuses, I step in. They need to understand that other adults have the right to correct them, and if I jump in immediately, that undercuts their authority. However, if the teacher or other adult didn't say anything, I would act. No, I don't think that the behavior should continue, even if it's age-appropriate.

Correct once and you do nothing, then you are asked to leave.

You’re both wrong. It’s not the librarians job with the parent right there in the room. It’s a parent’s job. You are wrong to think otherwise.

Once your child is attending these functions alone - fine. But with a parent, you should correct your own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just teach your kid to raise his hand and say excuse me I can’t see.

They can't talk yet.

Wait, why are you taking a child who can't talk to storytime?

?? there are storytimes for babies. Our public library has them several times a week for different age groups including infants.

This. But baby storytimes are (or should be) planned with babies in mind. Mostly songs/rhymes + very short books and more about modeling early literacy development for the parents.

I'm a librarian and used to do storytimes. Separate groups for babies, toddlers/2s, 3-5. Different programs for each.

This, especially since the way it way described seemed to be about 3-5yo level, not toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Short on child care. Be kind.

No! I am exhausted, overwhelmed, have zero childcare and I want my kid to be able to see the damn book! I taught my child and you can teach yours or take him/her out.

I sm so fricking sick of the excuses.

I don’t understand how your child can’t see the book. Most chairs are twenty inches high. Most librarian torsos are another 18-20 inches. Most preschoolers are under three feet tall. If the librarian holds the book at shoulder height, all of the kids should have an unobstructed view.

The kids in our library sit on the floor. I have never been to a storytime in any library where there were chairs.

The librarian's chair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:… stand right in front of the book being read at library storytime thus blocking the view of the book from all the other kids? I mean, it’s obvious that the other kids can’t see the book. I get that it’s not a huge issue in light of our troubled world but I’m genuinely curious in knowing what that parent watching is thinking.

Same with the parent who doesn’t stop their child from taking the glasses off the music teacher during the class.

Yes, the librarian and music teacher correct the child but why should they have to when they parent is right there watching?

Well, I'm in the camp of allowing the authority figure at the moment (librarian and music teacher, in those scenarios) to correct the child once, then if the child ignores or refuses, I step in. They need to understand that other adults have the right to correct them, and if I jump in immediately, that undercuts their authority. However, if the teacher or other adult didn't say anything, I would act. No, I don't think that the behavior should continue, even if it's age-appropriate.

Correct once and you do nothing, then you are asked to leave.

You’re both wrong. It’s not the librarians job with the parent right there in the room. It’s a parent’s job. You are wrong to think otherwise.

Once your child is attending these functions alone - fine. But with a parent, you should correct your own kid.

You know that any parent allowing their child to do this would take offense to a librarian correcting their little darling, too. They're the worst.

[Anonymous]

Entitlement. They think their kid is special just like they are.

That can come out as “my child has special needs” as an excuse for tolerating poor behavior that affects other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

It’s not. Now you know.

Are you sure? I mean, my kid is 15 now, so it’s kind of a moot point for me, but how disruptive is it to have someone who is three feet tall and 40lbs standing up vs someone who is six feet tall and 180lbs? I’m not sure that having mom’s and dad’s getting up and messing with their kids during story time would be a lot less disruptive.

Disruption also includes length of time. 15 secs for you to do something vs 4 minutes of the story being blocked also matters.